When your mom tries to hit you with the belt but misses and hits herself… #victoryroyale
My life is a lot like a game of Black Jack I always hit on 16, the get busted
Knott and Shott got into a gunfight. Knott was shot and Shott was not. Therefore it was better to be Shott than Knott. But what if the shot Shott shot didn’t hit Knott but Shott? Then the shot Shott shot shot Shott.
What do you do when your dish washer stops working Hit your wife harder
What hit the floor first, the kid or the feather? the feather. the rope stopped the kid
Depression hits harder than my dad
Student: a plane is carrying 204 bricks, one falls out, how many are left? Teacher: 203 Student: how do you put an elephant in the fridge? Teacher: You can’t Student: yes you can, open fridge door put elephant in. How do you put a giraffe in the fridge? Teacher: open door put in giraffe? Student: no, take out elephant put in giraffe. The lion king is having a party, who isn’t there? Teacher: let me guess, the lion Student: no the giraffe, he’s stuck in a fridge. Sally has to cross a river full of vicious alligators to get to safety, she gets across safely how? Teacher: she stepped on the alligators? Student: no the alligators are at the party, Sally dies anyway, how? Teacher: she frowned? Student: no, she was hit in the head by a falling brick.
An apple and an emo kid fall off a tree at the same time. Who hits the ground first? The apple because the emo kid got caught by the rope
My ex girlfriend got hit by a bus. I also lost my bus drivers licence.
making fun of someone you’re angry with is childish. Be an adult and hit them with your car <3
friend: hits head* others: how many fingers am i holding up? me: to friend* how suicidal am i on a scale from one to ten? friend: ten me: hes fine guys
Doctor : what makes you feel depressed? Me: I used to work at the word trade centre, before the plane hit. Doctor: a lot of people fell to pieces after that.
Why couldn’t Sally write with the pen? (Friend: Idk, why?) Because she had no arms. Why couldn’t Sally play Tennis? (Friend: Because she had no arms?) Yes, she had no arms. Why did Sally fall off the swing? (Friend: Because she had no arms?) No, Joe pushed her. Why couldn’t Sally pick up the box? (Friend: Some weird guess) Because she had no arms. Why did sally drop her ice cream? (Friend: Because she had no arms? ) Because she got hit by a bus. Knock Knock. (Friend: Who’s there?) Not Sally.
I’d Hit You But I Don’t Wanna Go To Jail For Animal Abuse.
Why did timmy drop his ice cream cone… He got hit by a train
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