Why didn’t Sally get home from work. She got hit by a bus
My ex girlfriend got hit by a bus. I also lost my bus drivers licence.
If you drop an emo and a piece of paper from a tree which will hit the ground first? The piece of oaper because the rope will stop the emo
Whats the point of hiding the screaming speedbump you ran over? You might as well hit it again to A: Stop the screaming B:Make it look like an actually speed bump and C: … You think its Hilarious the noise it makes when you ran over its stomach
Depression hits harder than my dad
titanic - “yo look at that sexy babe of an iceberg, lets hit her” (Set up joke for the actual joke) So why don’t blind people go sky diving? It scares the hell out of their seeing eye dog. (Actual joke) When does a blind person know when he’s about to hit the ground? The leash goes slack.
When your mom tries to hit you with the belt but misses and hits herself… #victoryroyale
In America planes hit the twin towers. In Soviet Russia Twin Towers hit planes.
If a person in a wheel chair runs you over, can you call it a Hit and Can?t Run
What do friends and trees have in common? They both fall down when you hit them with an axe.
What did the fish say when it hit the wall? Dam. What did the other fish say to that fish when he hit the wall? Dumb Bass.
What is a suicide packs favorite song… Let the bodies hit floor
Two homeless alcoholics want to get drunk but don’t have enough money for even the cheapest drinks in any bar. So one of them devises a clever plan : he tells his friend “We should buy a hot-dog sausage with the last of our money and stick it down my pants, then drink a load of drinks but then when the bill comes you get down and suck on the hot-dog and it’ll look like you’re sucking on my dick so then we’ll get thrown out without paying and we can just go to another bar and do the same thing again”. His friend agrees so they buy the hot-dog, stick it down the first dude’s pants, go to the bar and then the second dude begins to suck on the hot-dog as agreed. They are thrown out and hit another four bars this way. In the end, as they lie drunk on the floor in some alleyway, the second guy says, “Well, what a great night. Free beers in five different bars!” The first guy says “Yeah! Especially since the hot-dog fell out before we even reached the first bar!”
When you hit a speed bump in a school zone and remember, there are no speed bumps.
There were once three brothers, Shit, Shut up and Manners. One day Shit got hit by a car. Shut up went to find help at the local police station whilst Manners tried to help Shit. When Shut up got to the police station he says “my brother has just been hit by a car.” The policeman replied with “OK then first I need to know your name.” “Shut up” “No, I need to know your name.” “Shut up. ” “Excuse me but where are your manners.” “Round the corner picking up shit.”
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