Why done orphans get offended by dark humor? It doesn’t hit home
i never knew how to use a boomerang, until it hit me
friend: hits head* others: how many fingers am i holding up? me: to friend* how suicidal am i on a scale from one to ten? friend: ten me: hes fine guys
If you drop an emo and a piece of paper from a tree which will hit the ground first? The piece of oaper because the rope will stop the emo
What’s a similarity between your best friend and a tree? They both fall over when you hit them with an axe.
Who reads the fastest? The pilot of the plane who hit one of the twin towers, He took out 83 stories in one go.
Student: a plane is carrying 204 bricks, one falls out, how many are left? Teacher: 203 Student: how do you put an elephant in the fridge? Teacher: You can’t Student: yes you can, open fridge door put elephant in. How do you put a giraffe in the fridge? Teacher: open door put in giraffe? Student: no, take out elephant put in giraffe. The lion king is having a party, who isn’t there? Teacher: let me guess, the lion Student: no the giraffe, he’s stuck in a fridge. Sally has to cross a river full of vicious alligators to get to safety, she gets across safely how? Teacher: she stepped on the alligators? Student: no the alligators are at the party, Sally dies anyway, how? Teacher: she frowned? Student: no, she was hit in the head by a falling brick.
What hit the floor first, the kid or the feather? the feather. the rope stopped the kid
When you hit a speed bump in a school zone and remember, there are no speed bumps.
I’m not saying I hate you. But if you got hit by a bus I’d be driving that bus.
Whats the point of hiding the screaming speedbump you ran over? You might as well hit it again to A: Stop the screaming B:Make it look like an actually speed bump and C: … You think its Hilarious the noise it makes when you ran over its stomach
Why did Joey drop his ice cream? He was hit by a truck. (Don’t worry, the truck was fine.)
Yo mama so dumb she got hit by a cup and told the police she got mugged.
Today was a terrible day. My wife got hit by a bus, and I lost my job as a bus driver
My life is a lot like a game of Black Jack I always hit on 16, the get busted
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