Q: what’s stronger than family? A: whatever tree Paul walker hit
What is the difference between a plane and a helicoptor. A plane hits a building but a helicopter hits the floor
Two homeless alcoholics want to get drunk but don’t have enough money for even the cheapest drinks in any bar. So one of them devises a clever plan : he tells his friend “We should buy a hot-dog sausage with the last of our money and stick it down my pants, then drink a load of drinks but then when the bill comes you get down and suck on the hot-dog and it’ll look like you’re sucking on my dick so then we’ll get thrown out without paying and we can just go to another bar and do the same thing again”. His friend agrees so they buy the hot-dog, stick it down the first dude’s pants, go to the bar and then the second dude begins to suck on the hot-dog as agreed. They are thrown out and hit another four bars this way. In the end, as they lie drunk on the floor in some alleyway, the second guy says, “Well, what a great night. Free beers in five different bars!” The first guy says “Yeah! Especially since the hot-dog fell out before we even reached the first bar!”
A german soldier is walking down the street during a hail storm when a lady suddenly falls over after being hit. He, along with a few others, walk over to her. One man asks, “What happened?” and the soldier replies, “Hail hit her.” (say the joke aloud and it will make more sense)
Who reads the fastest? The pilot of the plane who hit one of the twin towers, He took out 83 stories in one go.
Whole reason he is dead is because he kept hitting ‘Remind me later’ on his Windows Updates. When you going 80 mph and hit a speed bump Then the speed bump starts screaming
Q: What did the Ice berg say to the Titanic? A: I’d hit that.
Girls are like blackjack you shoot for 21 but I keep hitting 14
What’s black and white and red all over? The prisoner I just hit with my car.
Whats the point of hiding the screaming speedbump you ran over? You might as well hit it again to A: Stop the screaming B:Make it look like an actually speed bump and C: … You think its Hilarious the noise it makes when you ran over its stomach
What do Pink Floyd and Princess Diana have in common? Their last big hit was the wall.
i never knew how to use a boomerang, until it hit me
When earthquakes hit coffins become maracas underground
I was hit on by president kennedy, too bad i shot him down
if you hit a child that’s child abuse. if you hit a family member that’s abuse. if you kill either, it’s murder for some reason. if it’s a whole family, its genocide for another reason.
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