I was wondering why the frisbee was getting bigger, then it hit me.
So Johnny was in kindergarten and his teacher assigned him to learn the ABC’s so he goes home and ask his mom who’s cooking “Whats the first letter of the ABC’s?” he ask and his mom responds with “SHUT UP… I’M COOKING!” so then he walks to sister who’s signing in the shower and asks her “Whats the 2nd letter of the ABC’s?” she responds with “I’m ready
There were once three brothers, Shit, Shut up and Manners. One day Shit got hit by a car. Shut up went to find help at the local police station whilst Manners tried to help Shit. When Shut up got to the police station he says “my brother has just been hit by a car.” The policeman replied with “OK then first I need to know your name.” “Shut up” “No, I need to know your name.” “Shut up. ” “Excuse me but where are your manners.” “Round the corner picking up shit.”
I was hit on by president kennedy, too bad i shot him down
Knott and Shott got into a gunfight. Knott was shot and Shott was not. Therefore it was better to be Shott than Knott. But what if the shot Shott shot didn’t hit Knott but Shott? Then the shot Shott shot shot Shott.
Q: what’s stronger than family? A: whatever tree Paul walker hit
If you ever get Mad, just hit an orphan What are they gonna do, tell their parents?
Yo mama so dumb she got hit by a cup and told the police she got mugged.
Today was a terrible day. My wife got hit by a bus, and I lost my job as a bus driver
In America planes hit the twin towers. In Soviet Russia Twin Towers hit planes.
What is stronger than family. The tree Paul Walker hit
Why did Joey drop his ice cream? He was hit by a truck. (Don’t worry, the truck was fine.)
Whats the point of hiding the screaming speedbump you ran over? You might as well hit it again to A: Stop the screaming B:Make it look like an actually speed bump and C: … You think its Hilarious the noise it makes when you ran over its stomach
Who reads the fastest? The pilot of the plane who hit one of the twin towers, He took out 83 stories in one go.
I’m not saying I hate you. But if you got hit by a bus I’d be driving that bus.
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