When your mom tries to hit you with the belt but misses and hits herself… #victoryroyale
I’m not saying I hate you. But if you got hit by a bus I’d be driving that bus.
I was wondering why the frisbee was getting bigger, then it hit me.
Depression hits harder than my dad
What do you do when your dish washer stops working Hit your wife harder
A baby skunk’s mother gets hit by a car, so the baby skunk doesn’t know what he is. So the baby skunk walks up to a baby bunny and asks ‘What are you?’, the baby bunny replies ‘Well I’m a baby bunny. What are you?’ the baby skunk says "Well I don’t know am I a baby bunny too?" the baby bunny says ‘No you’re not a baby bunny.’ so the baby skunk asks "Well what am I then?" the baby bunny replies ‘Well you’re not exactly blank and you’re not exactly white so you must be Mexican.’
Whats the point of hiding the screaming speedbump you ran over? You might as well hit it again to A: Stop the screaming B:Make it look like an actually speed bump and C: … You think its Hilarious the noise it makes when you ran over its stomach
Q: what’s stronger than family? A: whatever tree Paul walker hit
What’s the definition of “perfect pitch?” Throwing a viola into the dumpster without hitting the rim.
What is a suicide packs favorite song… Let the bodies hit floor
What’s the difference between an orphan and a watermelon? One of them is fun to hit with a sledge hammer and the other one is just a watermelon
I was hit on by president kennedy, too bad i shot him down
Yo mama so dumb she got hit by a cup and told the police she got mugged.
So this guy and his wife figure out that she has gotten pregnant. The baby is due March 31st. Well the guy is at work and he gets a call from his wife. She tells him she is going into labor. He rushes to pick her up, and once he is on the road he starts speeding. Eventually he hits another car and swerves off the road into a ditch. He wakes up in the hospital, looks around but doesn’t see his wife. He asks the doctor, is my wife okay, she was carrying my child. The doctor said the wife is fine and the baby is in good health. 10 seconds later he goes “APRIL FOOLS! Your wife is dead and your child has brain damage
In America planes hit the twin towers. In Soviet Russia Twin Towers hit planes.
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