There were once three brothers, Shit, Shut up and Manners. One day Shit got hit by a car. Shut up went to find help at the local police station whilst Manners tried to help Shit. When Shut up got to the police station he says “my brother has just been hit by a car.” The policeman replied with “OK then first I need to know your name.” “Shut up” “No, I need to know your name.” “Shut up. ” “Excuse me but where are your manners.” “Round the corner picking up shit.”
Why did timmy drop his ice cream cone… He got hit by a train
I was cooking eggs the other day. It was very EGGxiting, all though, I was EGGxaggerating, but, if you think that wasn’t funny to you, then your hard boiled, that’s all for today YOLKS, so I said before several cats starting fighting, that sht was a CATastrophe, these kittens were all like “You’ve gotta be KITTEN me.” Mean while, in the ocean, they just waved, SEA what I did there? You SHORE you didn’t? Oh, alright, that’s okay bud- I guess these ocean puns are too DEEP for you. No? Okay- but, you know why the skeleton was lonely, eh? Oh, cause he had NO BODY. Why didn’t the skeleton ask the girl out? He didn’t have the guts. What did the skeleton do to his gf? He BNED her. No? Alright. Those didn’t make you laugh? Maybe I should hit your funny bone.
What hit the floor first, the kid or the feather? the feather. the rope stopped the kid
My life is a lot like a game of Black Jack I always hit on 16, the get busted
Doctor : what makes you feel depressed? Me: I used to work at the word trade centre, before the plane hit. Doctor: a lot of people fell to pieces after that.
Yo mama’s so stupid, she got hit by a parked car.
When earthquakes hit coffins become maracas underground
I hit a ball with a bat it was called animal abuse
Depression hits harder than my dad
Today was a terrible day. My wife got hit by a bus, and I lost my job as a bus driver
Why don’t orphans get offended by dark humour jokes? It can’t hit home.
What did the fish say before he hit the wall? – “Oh, dam.”
What is a suicide packs favorite song… Let the bodies hit floor
what did Chris Brown say when he saw Rhianna “I’d hit that”
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