Doctor : what makes you feel depressed? Me: I used to work at the word trade centre, before the plane hit. Doctor: a lot of people fell to pieces after that.
Why was I stress eating on the train track? To wait to get hit.
Friends are like trees, they fall over if you hit them with an ax.
I was wondering why the frisbee was getting bigger, then it hit me.
Jason: Did you hear about the storm-trooper who attempted suicide? Dave: No. Jason: Well, he hit his first target.
Depression hits harder than my dad
Today was a bad day. First My ex got hit by a bus. Then I lost my job as a bus driver
I got hit in the head with a can of soda yesterday. Luckily for me, it was a soft drink.
Three blondes were taking a walk when they stumbled on some tracks. They argued on what the tracks came from. One of them said “it’s a deer.” The other said it “No it’s a coyote.” The last one was going to give her thoughts, but that was when the train hit them.
What’s black and white and red all over? The prisoner I just hit with my car.
a man walks into a bar, and notices a steak hanging from the ceiling. when he asks the bartender about it, the bartender says “If you can jump up and hit it, drinks are on the house for the night, but if you miss, everyone’s drinks are on your tab for the next two hours. Do you want to try? ” the man decided not to take the risk. he thought the steaks where too high.
Why done orphans get offended by dark humor? It doesn’t hit home
I hit a ball with a bat it was called animal abuse
Whats the point of hiding the screaming speedbump you ran over? You might as well hit it again to A: Stop the screaming B:Make it look like an actually speed bump and C: … You think its Hilarious the noise it makes when you ran over its stomach
any girl can be a squirter if you hit the right artery
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