Why did little Timmy drop his ice cream cone? He got hit by a bus.
What’s a similarity between your best friend and a tree? They both fall over when you hit them with an axe.
In America planes hit the twin towers. In Soviet Russia Twin Towers hit planes.
What did the fish say when it hit the wall? Dam. What did the other fish say to that fish when he hit the wall? Dumb Bass.
If you drop an emo and a piece of paper from a tree which will hit the ground first? The piece of oaper because the rope will stop the emo
what is the difference between a baby and a watermelon, one smashes open when you hit it with a sledge hammer and the other is a water melon Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn’t, I hit it with my car 3 blocks down
If you ever get Mad, just hit an orphan What are they gonna do, tell their parents?
I was working for Space X. I was instructed to control a satellite’s orbit rotation when suddenly the screen went black. I investigated and found out one of Penaldos penalty had hit and destroyed the satellite. Shame on you Penaldo for ruining my dream job!
friend: hits head* others: how many fingers am i holding up? me: to friend* how suicidal am i on a scale from one to ten? friend: ten me: hes fine guys
I lost my drivers license today i hit my ex with my car
Women are like blackjack. I’m trying for 21, but I always hit on 14.
If a person in a wheel chair runs you over, can you call it a Hit and Can?t Run
I’m not saying I hate you. But if you got hit by a bus I’d be driving that bus.
A german soldier is walking down the street during a hail storm when a lady suddenly falls over after being hit. He, along with a few others, walk over to her. One man asks, “What happened?” and the soldier replies, “Hail hit her.” (say the joke aloud and it will make more sense)
So this guy and his wife figure out that she has gotten pregnant. The baby is due March 31st. Well the guy is at work and he gets a call from his wife. She tells him she is going into labor. He rushes to pick her up, and once he is on the road he starts speeding. Eventually he hits another car and swerves off the road into a ditch. He wakes up in the hospital, looks around but doesn’t see his wife. He asks the doctor, is my wife okay, she was carrying my child. The doctor said the wife is fine and the baby is in good health. 10 seconds later he goes “APRIL FOOLS! Your wife is dead and your child has brain damage
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