My life is a lot like a game of Black Jack I always hit on 16, the get busted
Whats the point of hiding the screaming speedbump you ran over? You might as well hit it again to A: Stop the screaming B:Make it look like an actually speed bump and C: … You think its Hilarious the noise it makes when you ran over its stomach
I’m not saying I hate you. But if you got hit by a bus I’d be driving that bus.
What did the fish say when it hit the wall? Dam. What did the other fish say to that fish when he hit the wall? Dumb Bass.
What hit the floor first, the kid or the feather? the feather. the rope stopped the kid
I was working for Space X. I was instructed to control a satellite’s orbit rotation when suddenly the screen went black. I investigated and found out one of Penaldos penalty had hit and destroyed the satellite. Shame on you Penaldo for ruining my dream job!
making fun of someone you’re angry with is childish. Be an adult and hit them with your car <3
A man walks into a bar with an alligator and a stick. He walks up to the bartender and offers to put on a show for the bar’s patrons in exchange for a drink. The bartender agrees, so he pulls down his pants, sticks his dick in the alligators mouth and starts whacking it with the stick. After he’s done and gets his drink he asks if anyone else would like a go. A lady gets up and says yes she would like a go, asks that he doesn’t hit her with the stick.
Why did Joey drop his ice cream? He was hit by a truck. (Don’t worry, the truck was fine.)
What’s the definition of “perfect pitch?” Throwing a viola into the dumpster without hitting the rim.
What do Pink Floyd and Princess Diana have in common? Their last big hit was the wall.
What is the difference between a plane and a helicoptor. A plane hits a building but a helicopter hits the floor
titanic - “yo look at that sexy babe of an iceberg, lets hit her” (Set up joke for the actual joke) So why don’t blind people go sky diving? It scares the hell out of their seeing eye dog. (Actual joke) When does a blind person know when he’s about to hit the ground? The leash goes slack.
What is stronger than family. The tree Paul Walker hit
When your mom tries to hit you with the belt but misses and hits herself… #victoryroyale
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