Today was a terrible day. My wife got hit by a bus, and I lost my job as a bus driver
Why don’t orphans get offended by dark humour jokes? It can’t hit home.
Why did Joey drop his ice cream? He was hit by a truck. (Don’t worry, the truck was fine.)
What’s the definition of “perfect pitch?” Throwing a viola into the dumpster without hitting the rim.
Girls are like blackjack you shoot for 21 but I keep hitting 14
Q: What did the Ice berg say to the Titanic? A: I’d hit that.
What did the fish say when it hit the wall? Dam. What did the other fish say to that fish when he hit the wall? Dumb Bass.
What is the difference between a baby and a watermelon, one smashes open when you hit it with a sledge hammer and the other is a water melon
Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn’t, I hit it with my car 3 blocks down
Whats the point of hiding the screaming speedbump you ran over? You might as well hit it again to A: Stop the screaming B:Make it look like an actually speed bump and C: … You think its Hilarious the noise it makes when you ran over its stomach
Three blondes were taking a walk when they stumbled on some tracks. They argued on what the tracks came from. One of them said “it’s a deer.” The other said it “No it’s a coyote.” The last one was going to give her thoughts, but that was when the train hit them.
What’s black and white and red all over? The prisoner I just hit with my car.
I got hit in the head with a can of soda yesterday. Luckily for me, it was a soft drink.
Friends are like trees, they fall over if you hit them with an ax.
The weirdest thing happend to me today i was driving 50mph and hit a speedbump aand it screamed
Q: what’s stronger than family?
A: whatever tree Paul walker hit
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