Today was a terrible day. My wife got hit by a bus, and I lost my job as a bus driver
What was Frankenstein’s second job? – He was a bodybuilder.
why did the hooker quit her job? she had a nut allergy Cindy goes up to her dad and says: "Daddy, can I have $100 for a new dress?" Her dad almost gags and says: "$100! You’re only 12, what do you want with such an expensive dress?" Cindy says: "Well daddy, I’ll look really pretty in it and I promise to look after it …" Dad gives in and says: “OK, give me a head-job then”. He flops it out and Cindy just get the end in her mouth and goes: "Eeee-yooo - that taste’s like shit! " Dad goes: “Well, your brother wanted to borrow the car this afternoon …”
What’s the difference between a job and a wife The job keeps sucking after 5 years
What would be a good job for a fat person? A four-chin teller!!
Everyone in my class: I can’t wait until have a family, I can’t wait to study for my dream job My friends: What’s your dream job? Me: I’m going to die young :))
I went for a job interview today and the manager said, “We’re looking for someone who is responsible.” “Well, I’m your man.” I replied, “In my last job, whenever anything went wrong, they said I was responsible.”
what’s the difference between a pizza delivery guy and a cop. pizza guys get punished for not doing their jobs properly
(To a mexican person) When i first met you I thought you were going to say,My name is enrique i have a job for you.
What did the wind say to the palm tree? Hold onto your nuts this is no ordinary blow job.
how come orphans know how to do laundry cause thats usually the moms job
my job is so amazing. today a man asked me to check his balance, so i pushed him over. his balance isn’t good
A fully grown bull Great White Shark is 15 feet long and can open its jaws open up to 1.2 meters long. It could eat a small child in seconds. Anyways, I lost my job at the aquarium…
The Wine Taster At An Old Vineyard Died. A Homeless Guy, Looking Ragged And Dirty, Came To Apply. He Persuaded The Manager To Give Him A Try. The guy was given a glass of wine. He swirled, smelled, sipped and spit. “It’s a red wine, Merlot, three years old, grown on the South Slope and matured in oak barrels." He said. “Impressive,” said the manager. The man is given another. "Still a red wine, Cabernet, eight years old, from the Northeast slope, stored in a steel vats.” The manager was amazed. He winked at his secretary. The secretary understood and brought out a glass of urine. The drunkard tasted it and said. “It’s a blond, 27 years old, three months pregnant, and if I don’t get this job, I’ll tell who the father is!” How did the security guard at the orchid get better at his job? He got an Apple Watch.
a surgeon loses his job as he botched a surgery boss: “we have to let you go.” surgeon: “I protest innocence.” boss: “how?” surgeon: “I thought to do your job and saving people’s lives were two different things. ” boss: “get out”
RUS | ENG
