I went for a job interview today and the manager said, “We’re looking for someone who is responsible.” “Well, I’m your man.” I replied, “In my last job, whenever anything went wrong, they said I was responsible.”
A fully grown bull Great White Shark is 15 feet long and can open its jaws open up to 1.2 meters long. It could eat a small child in seconds. Anyways, I lost my job at the aquarium…
What did they call Susan B. Anthony when she was sleeping on the job? Snoozin’ B. Anthony!
The Wine Taster At An Old Vineyard Died. A Homeless Guy, Looking Ragged And Dirty, Came To Apply. He Persuaded The Manager To Give Him A Try. The guy was given a glass of wine. He swirled, smelled, sipped and spit. “It’s a red wine, Merlot, three years old, grown on the South Slope and matured in oak barrels." He said. “Impressive,” said the manager. The man is given another. "Still a red wine, Cabernet, eight years old, from the Northeast slope, stored in a steel vats.” The manager was amazed. He winked at his secretary. The secretary understood and brought out a glass of urine. The drunkard tasted it and said. “It’s a blond, 27 years old, three months pregnant, and if I don’t get this job, I’ll tell who the father is!” How did the security guard at the orchid get better at his job? He got an Apple Watch.
A man goes into a job interview and sits down. The interviewer is looking over his resume and says, "I see here that there’s a 4-year gap on your resume. What were you doing?" The man says, "Oh, that was when I went to Yale!" The interviewer is impressed and says, "That’s great! You’re hired! " The man smiles. “Really? I’m so glad, because I really need this Yob.”
Today was a bad day. First My ex got hit by a bus. Then I lost my job as a bus driver
What’s the difference between a job and a wife The job keeps sucking after 5 years
why did the zookeeper lose his job? for choking the chicken and spanking the monkey!
A job is like virginity. Not everyone loses it.
What is a pedophiles favorite job? The mall santa.
what’s the difference between your job and a dead hooker? your job still sucks
My sister told me she like Medusa. I said h. My sister said my blow jobs are so good she looks up at the guy facial expression and when the look down they do nothing, but stay still.
Man: I got fired from my job at the calander factory. Lady: What did you do? Man: I took a day of… My grief counsellor died today. He did such a great job. I don’t even care
what do you not want to do when it comes to giving an emo a job? showing them the ropes.
i just found out my ex got stabbed today…lets just say i lost my job as a butcher
RUS | ENG
