One day I was going home, and 7 married men came to me and said you should be proud of your sister. I ask why they told me it was the best that they ever had and we got your sister a trophy. So I went home my sister said look at my trophy I earned. The trophy said The Best Blow Jobs. As a bro I couldn’t be more prouder.
Man: I got fired from my job at the calander factory. Lady: What did you do? Man: I took a day of… My grief counsellor died today. He did such a great job. I don’t even care
I lost my job by giving up my seat to someone I didn’t know you’re not supposed to do that if you’re a bus driver!
want a kiss daddy wand a blow job
why did the zookeeper lose his job? for choking the chicken and spanking the monkey!
what’s the difference between a pizza delivery guy and a cop. pizza guys get punished for not doing their jobs properly
What’s the difference between a job and a wife The job keeps sucking after 5 years
what do you not want to do when it comes to giving an emo a job? showing them the ropes.
I lost my job at the bank on my very first day. – A woman asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her over.
Employer: Can you preform under pressure? Me: No, but i do a pretty good Bohemian Rhapsody.
What did the wind say to the palm tree? Hold onto your nuts this is no ordinary blow job.
Why did the dwarf get a job at lidl? Because every lidl heps
What do you call a giraffe giving a blow job to another giraffe? Getting neck!
My sister told me she like Medusa. I said h. My sister said my blow jobs are so good she looks up at the guy facial expression and when the look down they do nothing, but stay still.
A lawyer married a woman who had previously divorced 10 husbands. On their wedding night, she told her new husband, “Please be gentle, I’m still a virgin.” “What?” said the puzzled groom. “How can that be if you’ve been married 10 times?” “Well, Husband #1 was a sales representative. He kept telling me how great it was going to be. Husband #2 was in software services. He was never really sure how it was supposed to function, but he said he’d look into it and get back to me. Husband #3 was from field services. He said everything checked out diagnostically, but he just couldn’t get the system up. Husband #4 was in telemarketing. Even though he knew he had the order, he didn’t know when he would be able to deliver. Husband #5 was an engineer. He understood the basic process, but wanted three years to research, implement, and design a new state-of-the-art method. Husband #6 was from finance and administration. He thought he knew how, but he wasn’t sure whether it was his job or not. Husband #7 was in marketing. Although he had a nice product, he was never sure how to position it. Husband #8 was a psychologist. All he ever did was talk about it. Husband #9 was a gynecologist. All he did was look at it. Husband #10 was a stamp collector. All he ever did was… God! I miss him! But now that I’ve married you, I’m really excited!” “Good,” said the new husband, “but, why?” “You’re a lawyer. This time I know I’m going to get screwed!”
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