I GOT a job as a pencil sharpener I would tell you about it but you wouldn’t get the point.
My ex died today. I also lost my job as a butcher
Today my EX got trampled by a bunch of horse and sadly I lost my job as a horse trainer.
why did the hooker quit her job? she had a nut allergy Cindy goes up to her dad and says: "Daddy, can I have $100 for a new dress?" Her dad almost gags and says: "$100! You’re only 12, what do you want with such an expensive dress?" Cindy says: "Well daddy, I’ll look really pretty in it and I promise to look after it …" Dad gives in and says: “OK, give me a head-job then”. He flops it out and Cindy just get the end in her mouth and goes: "Eeee-yooo - that taste’s like shit! " Dad goes: “Well, your brother wanted to borrow the car this afternoon …”
My mom told me that she got a new job & I don’t have to leave the house. Then my mom told all my customers are the men that live in our neighborhood Then I ask what is your job call. My mom said job hand, then I said job and or is hand job . My mom said yeah that it. My mom said I; m good at my job that why all the males are always knocking at the door.
What’s the difference between a job and a wife The job keeps sucking after 5 years
Why do orphans become criminals? To know what it’s like to be Wanted. Why are orphans bad at poker? They don’t know what a full house is. I saw a child crying yesterday so I asked him where his parents were. Bad move. I got fired from my job at the orphanage. What do you call an orphan’s family reunion? Me time. Did you know? The letter ‘f’ in orphan stands for family. What is an orphan’s least favorite song? We are Family. What’s an orphan’s least favorite tv show? Family Guy. What’s an orphan’s least favorite movie? Meet the Parents. What’s an orphan’s least favorite type of music? House. Next: Inappropriate Jokes What’s an orphan’s least favorite store? Home Depot. What’s an orphan’s favorite band? Foster the People. What do you call a virgin from Alabama? An orphan. Where do orphan chickens end up? Foster Farms What beer do orphans drink? Foster’s. Why do orphans have water with their cereal? Because their dad never came back with the milk. What do you call a fish with no parents? An orfin Why do orphans like playing tennis? Because it’s the only love they get. Me: Are you an orphan? Orphan: Yes, what gave me away? Me: Your parents.
As a son I like sports and I watch sports with my mom. So one day we were looking at football. My mom ask me who makes the most money I said the quarter back. My mom told me I going to get a quarter back has my new boyfriend and it be your new step father. a week lady my mom went out I came home I see my mom making out with a high school kid. I said whats going on my mom said look my new boyfriend and new step father is the high school quarter back. My mom said see mission accomplish. I said yeah job well done.
I hate these double standards. if you burn a body at a crematorium you’re "doing a good job" if you do it at home you’re “destroying evidence”
I was on a bus when this girl offered to blow me for $5… ?…and never being a person to pass up a good deal, I gave her $5 and watched her do her thing. After she was finished she lit up a cigarette and started smoking right there on the bus. I was disgusted. I thought to myself, “What is this world coming to? Who sells cigarettes to a 12 year old?”
You know a parana can devour a small child in 30 seconds Any way I lost my job at the aquarium today
If you were to ask me, ‘What is the easiest job in the world?’, it would be an Australian psychiatrist. “G’Day, G’Day…how you doing…no worries, next!”.
wait isnt this sans job to make a joke? Ur so ugly that when u came out of the hunted house u had a job offer
A lawyer married a woman who had previously divorced 10 husbands. On their wedding night, she told her new husband, “Please be gentle, I’m still a virgin.” “What?” said the puzzled groom. “How can that be if you’ve been married 10 times?” “Well, Husband #1 was a sales representative. He kept telling me how great it was going to be. Husband #2 was in software services. He was never really sure how it was supposed to function, but he said he’d look into it and get back to me. Husband #3 was from field services. He said everything checked out diagnostically, but he just couldn’t get the system up. Husband #4 was in telemarketing. Even though he knew he had the order, he didn’t know when he would be able to deliver. Husband #5 was an engineer. He understood the basic process, but wanted three years to research, implement, and design a new state-of-the-art method. Husband #6 was from finance and administration. He thought he knew how, but he wasn’t sure whether it was his job or not. Husband #7 was in marketing. Although he had a nice product, he was never sure how to position it. Husband #8 was a psychologist. All he ever did was talk about it. Husband #9 was a gynecologist. All he did was look at it. Husband #10 was a stamp collector. All he ever did was… God! I miss him! But now that I’ve married you, I’m really excited!” “Good,” said the new husband, “but, why?” “You’re a lawyer. This time I know I’m going to get screwed!”
A job is like virginity. Not everyone loses it.
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