I lost my job at the bank on my very first day. – A woman asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her over.
What did they call Susan B. Anthony when she was sleeping on the job? Snoozin’ B. Anthony!
where do mermaids get a job? at the kelp wanted station
Three men are travelling through the desert when their single camel dies. They walk for a while but then it becomes night. Desperate for shelter, suddenly they stumble across a tent and inside is three beautiful women. The men were not only lost but horny too so they begin to have sex with the women. But the tent belongs to a prince and these three women were his wives so he is very angry when he arrives an hour later and sees three strangers having sex with his wives. He tells the three men he will chop off their penises as punishment, in some way relating to their job. He asks the first man what his job is: The guy says, "I’m a fireman" The prince says, "Then we’ll burn your dick off!" The second guy says, "I’m an employee at the shooting range" The prince says, "Then we’ll shoot your dick off! " The third guy smiles and says, "I’m a lollipop salesman
my job is so amazing. today a man asked me to check his balance, so i pushed him over. his balance isn’t good
I saw a child crying yesterday so I asked him where his parents were. Bad move. I got fired from my job at the orphanage.
One day I was going home, and 7 married men came to me and said you should be proud of your sister. I ask why they told me it was the best that they ever had and we got your sister a trophy. So I went home my sister said look at my trophy I earned. The trophy said The Best Blow Jobs. As a bro I couldn’t be more prouder.
I kept asking these kids where there parents are and they started crying, I walked away laughing thinking i love my job at an orphanage
I want a job cleaning mirrors, I could really see myself doing it ??
Today I learned that a group of piranhas can maul a small child down to the bone in under 20 seconds. Well I lost my job at the aquarium today.
I just got a job at the prison library. It has its prose and cons.
I got a job at a library once, i got fired like an hour in because the library manager said that the cookbooks didn’t go into the women’s sports section.
what do you not want to do when it comes to giving an emo a job? showing them the ropes.
The Wine Taster At An Old Vineyard Died. A Homeless Guy, Looking Ragged And Dirty, Came To Apply. He Persuaded The Manager To Give Him A Try. The guy was given a glass of wine. He swirled, smelled, sipped and spit. “It’s a red wine, Merlot, three years old, grown on the South Slope and matured in oak barrels." He said. “Impressive,” said the manager. The man is given another. "Still a red wine, Cabernet, eight years old, from the Northeast slope, stored in a steel vats.” The manager was amazed. He winked at his secretary. The secretary understood and brought out a glass of urine. The drunkard tasted it and said. “It’s a blond, 27 years old, three months pregnant, and if I don’t get this job, I’ll tell who the father is!” How did the security guard at the orchid get better at his job? He got an Apple Watch.
I was on a bus when this girl offered to blow me for $5… ?…and never being a person to pass up a good deal, I gave her $5 and watched her do her thing. After she was finished she lit up a cigarette and started smoking right there on the bus. I was disgusted. I thought to myself, “What is this world coming to? Who sells cigarettes to a 12 year old?”
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