Job jokes

(To a mexican person) When i first met you I thought you were going to say,My name is enrique i have a job for you.

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Why can’t orphans get a job? Because they don’t have a home.

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I got a job at a library once, i got fired like an hour in because the library manager said that the cookbooks didn’t go into the women’s sports section.

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What did the wind say to the palm tree? Hold onto your nuts this is no ordinary blow job.

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I lost my job at the bank on my very first day. – A woman asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her over.

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So your in a hospital you barely survive your suicide attempt you see one of the scalpels you finish the job

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Last Night I had a dream I was swimming in lemonade… turns out I peed the bed. What’s a spider-man’s dream job? Web developer

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a surgeon loses his job as he botched a surgery boss: “we have to let you go.” surgeon: “I protest innocence.” boss: “how?” surgeon: “I thought to do your job and saving people’s lives were two different things. ” boss: “get out”

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I was on a bus when this girl offered to blow me for $5… ?…and never being a person to pass up a good deal, I gave her $5 and watched her do her thing. After she was finished she lit up a cigarette and started smoking right there on the bus. I was disgusted. I thought to myself, “What is this world coming to? Who sells cigarettes to a 12 year old?”

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what’s the difference between a pizza delivery guy and a cop. pizza guys get punished for not doing their jobs properly

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Today was a bad day. First My ex got hit by a bus. Then I lost my job as a bus driver

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wood fired pizza how would pizza get a job now