Job jokes

What do you call a giraffe giving a blow job to another giraffe? Getting neck!

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I went for a job interview today and the manager said, “We’re looking for someone who is responsible.” “Well, I’m your man.” I replied, “In my last job, whenever anything went wrong, they said I was responsible.”

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A fully grown bull Great White Shark is 15 feet long and can open its jaws open up to 1.2 meters long. It could eat a small child in seconds. Anyways, I lost my job at the aquarium…

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I kept asking these kids where there parents are and they started crying, I walked away laughing thinking i love my job at an orphanage

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A girl walked into a job interview. The interviewer said “you are what we are looking for, but i need to test your skills. ” he hands her a pen He said “sell me this pen” She puts in between her boobs.

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wood fired pizza how would pizza get a job now

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Why do orphans become criminals? To know what it’s like to be Wanted. Why are orphans bad at poker? They don’t know what a full house is. I saw a child crying yesterday so I asked him where his parents were. Bad move. I got fired from my job at the orphanage. What do you call an orphan’s family reunion? Me time. Did you know? The letter ‘f’ in orphan stands for family. What is an orphan’s least favorite song? We are Family. What’s an orphan’s least favorite tv show? Family Guy. What’s an orphan’s least favorite movie? Meet the Parents. What’s an orphan’s least favorite type of music? House. Next: Inappropriate Jokes What’s an orphan’s least favorite store? Home Depot. What’s an orphan’s favorite band? Foster the People. What do you call a virgin from Alabama? An orphan. Where do orphan chickens end up? Foster Farms What beer do orphans drink? Foster’s. Why do orphans have water with their cereal? Because their dad never came back with the milk. What do you call a fish with no parents? An orfin Why do orphans like playing tennis? Because it’s the only love they get. Me: Are you an orphan? Orphan: Yes, what gave me away? Me: Your parents.

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A job is like virginity. Not everyone loses it.

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Everyone in my class: I can’t wait until have a family, I can’t wait to study for my dream job My friends: What’s your dream job? Me: I’m going to die young :))

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A scarecrow said this job isn’t for everyone. But HAY! its in my jeans

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what’s the difference between your job and a dead hooker? your job still sucks

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so i was asleep and woke up and went to work my wife left already to her job i was driving my car and ran over someone i woke up in my bed realized it was htm title=' the my wife got hit bye a car'>all a dream 20 minutes later i got a phone call the my wife got hit bye a car

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I GOT a job as a pencil sharpener I would tell you about it but you wouldn’t get the point.

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i just found out my ex got stabbed today…lets just say i lost my job as a butcher

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I hate these double standards. if you burn a body at a crematorium you’re "doing a good job" if you do it at home you’re “destroying evidence”

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