Job jokes

wood fired pizza how would pizza get a job now

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I just quit my job at a can crushing factory. It was soda-pressing.

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my job is so amazing. today a man asked me to check his balance, so i pushed him over. his balance isn’t good

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So your in a hospital you barely survive your suicide attempt you see one of the scalpels you finish the job

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this isnt an orphan joke but. I got a job at a library, but it only lasted 15 minutes. Turns out, books about women’s rights shouldn’t go in the Sci-Fi / Fantasy section.

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Two Native Americans ?????? Unwittingly walk into a gay bar and sit down to order a pitcher of beer. As they’re sitting there sucking back on their ale, a gay guy walks up and says, “How would you boys like a blow job?” The one Indian stands up and decks the guy, knocking him unconscious. He then sits back down and finishes his beer. His buddy looks over and says, “Hey Joe, what did you do that for? ” Joe replies, “Not sure but it was something about getting a job!”

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Today my EX got trampled by a bunch of horse and sadly I lost my job as a horse trainer.

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What was Frankenstein’s second job? – He was a bodybuilder.

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A man goes into a job interview and sits down. The interviewer is looking over his resume and says, "I see here that there’s a 4-year gap on your resume. What were you doing?" The man says, "Oh, that was when I went to Yale!" The interviewer is impressed and says, "That’s great! You’re hired! " The man smiles. “Really? I’m so glad, because I really need this Yob.”

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I got a job at a library once, i got fired like an hour in because the library manager said that the cookbooks didn’t go into the women’s sports section.

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The teacher once said to some students ?i was an orphan before your principle hired me.? the students said ?oof that is sad? the teacher tried to ignore them and take attendance she said ?is anyone missing? the students said ? your parents.? the teacher got offended and later that day quit her job

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My ex died today. I also lost my job as a butcher

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Why can’t orphans get a job? Because they don’t have a home.

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My girlfriend got ran over by a bus I lost my job as a bus driver.

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wait isnt this sans job to make a joke? Ur so ugly that when u came out of the hunted house u had a job offer

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