Everyone in my class: I can’t wait until have a family, I can’t wait to study for my dream job My friends: What’s your dream job? Me: I’m going to die young :))
I just got a job at the prison library. It has its prose and cons.
Business Interview With Depression Inside my brain… Me: So… You’re new? Depression: (I don’t know who he is yet) mHMMMmmm! Me: Well what are your skills? Depression: Oh, taking control and leading… You know… Me: What are you trying out for? Depression: Oh, Vice Leader of Negative Thoughts. Me: Well we do need someone over there- for somewhat reason nobody wanted that job… Me: How did you know about us? Depression: Oh- I knew because of Anxiety, you know, we’re friends! Me: Interesting… (Still has no idea about Anxiety and it’s problemos) Me: Well I think you’re signed up! I’ll give you the job! Depression: tHaNKS :) AND THATS HOW MY LIFE GOT DESTROYED :]
wood fired pizza how would pizza get a job now
I saw a child crying yesterday so I asked him where his parents were. Bad move. I got fired from my job at the orphanage.
Yo mama is so ugly, she walked into a haunted house and walked out with a job application.
What is a pedophiles favorite job? The mall santa.
the teacher asked the class what sound does a cow make mooo said sally good job said the teacher what sound does a sheep make baa said jack good now what sound does a pig make little johnny raised his hand really high in the sky the teacher called him he said htm title=' ur hands on ur head u black moterf@cker'>the pig says get on the ground and put ur hands on ur head u black moterf@cker
What do you call a giraffe giving a blow job to another giraffe? Getting neck!
Boobs are like batteries… AA will get the job done… C is bigger than AA… D is bigger that C… …and if they’re square, you don’t want to put your tongue on them!
Why did the girl quit her job at the donut factory? – She was fed up with the hole business.
I hate these double standards. if you burn a body at a crematorium you’re "doing a good job" if you do it at home you’re “destroying evidence”
What did they call Susan B. Anthony when she was sleeping on the job? Snoozin’ B. Anthony!
in English class the teacher says (Teacher): Kids you need to say the alphabet ok Sally you first. (Sally): Okay a b c d e f g h i j k l m n o p q r s t u v w x y z. (Teacher): good job Sally. Then the teacher called on 4 other students who got it right. Then the teacher called on little Johnny. (Teacher): Little Johnny say the alphabet. (Little Johnny): bcefghijklmnopsvwxyz. (Teacher): no Johnny that’s not right. (Johnny): oh I forgot u r a q t. (Teacher). No still not right and thank you. (Johnny): oh I’ll give you the d later . (Class): (laughing). (Teacher): GO TO THE OFFICE NOW .
I kept asking these kids where there parents are and they started crying, I walked away laughing thinking i love my job at an orphanage
RUS | ENG
