Today my EX got trampled by a bunch of horse and sadly I lost my job as a horse trainer.
You know a parana can devour a small child in 30 seconds Any way I lost my job at the aquarium today
I GOT a job as a pencil sharpener I would tell you about it but you wouldn’t get the point.
I never wanted to believe that my Dad was stealing from his job as a road worker. But when I got home, all the signs were there.
one day, little Sally hears the phone ringing. she picks it up "Hello, this is daddy, Sally. Is your mom nearby." Sally says, “No, shes upstairs with Uncle john” “Uncle john? i don’t know an Uncle John.” “no, no, no, you must be mistaken, daddy” “no i’m sure there’s no one named Uncle John in our family.” “Okay, but why did you call?” Says Sally. “Ummm no reason, just tell mommy that daddy’s pulling into the driveway right now.” “Okay daddy!” long pause "Okay daddy! I did it!’ “Great job Sally! What did she says?” “Mommy said OH FU… and then she ran around with no clothes on and tripped on the carpet and hit her head on the bookshelf. shes now resting it looks like… then Uncle John screams and jumps out the window into the swimming pool, but of course we took all the water out this winter…” then dad replies “Swimming pool? we dont have a…is this 468-1843?”
My girlfriend got ran over by a bus I lost my job as a bus driver.
want a kiss daddy wand a blow job
My ex boyfriend’s dick is so small that instead of giving him a handjob I had to give him a thumb and forefinger job.
Last Night I had a dream I was swimming in lemonade… turns out I peed the bed. What’s a spider-man’s dream job? Web developer
Today was a terrible day. My wife got hit by a bus, and I lost my job as a bus driver
where do mermaids get a job? at the kelp wanted station
Business Interview With Depression Inside my brain… Me: So… You’re new? Depression: (I don’t know who he is yet) mHMMMmmm! Me: Well what are your skills? Depression: Oh, taking control and leading… You know… Me: What are you trying out for? Depression: Oh, Vice Leader of Negative Thoughts. Me: Well we do need someone over there- for somewhat reason nobody wanted that job… Me: How did you know about us? Depression: Oh- I knew because of Anxiety, you know, we’re friends! Me: Interesting… (Still has no idea about Anxiety and it’s problemos) Me: Well I think you’re signed up! I’ll give you the job! Depression: tHaNKS :) AND THATS HOW MY LIFE GOT DESTROYED :]
If you were to ask me, ‘What is the easiest job in the world?’, it would be an Australian psychiatrist. “G’Day, G’Day…how you doing…no worries, next!”.
the teacher asked the class what sound does a cow make mooo said sally good job said the teacher what sound does a sheep make baa said jack good now what sound does a pig make little johnny raised his hand really high in the sky the teacher called him he said htm title=' ur hands on ur head u black moterf@cker'>the pig says get on the ground and put ur hands on ur head u black moterf@cker
I lost my job at the bank on my very first day. – A woman asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her over.
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