I never wanted to believe that my Dad was stealing from his job as a road worker. But when I got home, all the signs were there.
You know a parana can devour a small child in 30 seconds Any way I lost my job at the aquarium today
Two Native Americans ?????? Unwittingly walk into a gay bar and sit down to order a pitcher of beer. As they’re sitting there sucking back on their ale, a gay guy walks up and says, “How would you boys like a blow job?” The one Indian stands up and decks the guy, knocking him unconscious. He then sits back down and finishes his beer. His buddy looks over and says, “Hey Joe, what did you do that for? ” Joe replies, “Not sure but it was something about getting a job!”
wood fired pizza how would pizza get a job now
(To a mexican person) When i first met you I thought you were going to say,My name is enrique i have a job for you.
I got a job at a library once, i got fired like an hour in because the library manager said that the cookbooks didn’t go into the women’s sports section.
Today was a bad day. First My ex got hit by a bus. Then I lost my job as a bus driver
A lawyer married a woman who had previously divorced 10 husbands. On their wedding night, she told her new husband, “Please be gentle, I’m still a virgin.” “What?” said the puzzled groom. “How can that be if you’ve been married 10 times?” “Well, Husband #1 was a sales representative. He kept telling me how great it was going to be. Husband #2 was in software services. He was never really sure how it was supposed to function, but he said he’d look into it and get back to me. Husband #3 was from field services. He said everything checked out diagnostically, but he just couldn’t get the system up. Husband #4 was in telemarketing. Even though he knew he had the order, he didn’t know when he would be able to deliver. Husband #5 was an engineer. He understood the basic process, but wanted three years to research, implement, and design a new state-of-the-art method. Husband #6 was from finance and administration. He thought he knew how, but he wasn’t sure whether it was his job or not. Husband #7 was in marketing. Although he had a nice product, he was never sure how to position it. Husband #8 was a psychologist. All he ever did was talk about it. Husband #9 was a gynecologist. All he did was look at it. Husband #10 was a stamp collector. All he ever did was… God! I miss him! But now that I’ve married you, I’m really excited!” “Good,” said the new husband, “but, why?” “You’re a lawyer. This time I know I’m going to get screwed!”
I was sitting with my little brother when he was about four-ish. He was starting to really like to identify objects for some reason, so he was showing me his toys. He grabbed his toy Mator truck and then pointed to the wheels, saying, “These are wheels.” I said, “Good job, yes they are.” Then he pointed to the bumper and said, “This is a bumper.” Again, I congratulated him. Then, he grabbed the toy’s wire with the hook at the end and said, “And this is a hooker.” I died laughing.
I just got a job at the prison library. It has its prose and cons.
a surgeon loses his job as he botched a surgery boss: “we have to let you go.” surgeon: “I protest innocence.” boss: “how?” surgeon: “I thought to do your job and saving people’s lives were two different things. ” boss: “get out”
Boobs are like batteries… AA will get the job done… C is bigger than AA… D is bigger that C… …and if they’re square, you don’t want to put your tongue on them!
I kept asking these kids where there parents are and they started crying, I walked away laughing thinking i love my job at an orphanage
what is the perfect job for a paedophile a physical doctor for kids
wait isnt this sans job to make a joke? Ur so ugly that when u came out of the hunted house u had a job offer
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