Job jokes

I want a job cleaning mirrors, I could really see myself doing it ??

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I never wanted to believe that my Dad was stealing from his job as a road worker. But when I got home, all the signs were there.

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A girl walked into a job interview. The interviewer said “you are what we are looking for, but i need to test your skills. ” he hands her a pen He said “sell me this pen” She puts in between her boobs.

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Boobs are like batteries… AA will get the job done… C is bigger than AA… D is bigger that C… …and if they’re square, you don’t want to put your tongue on them!

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what do you not want to do when it comes to giving an emo a job? showing them the ropes.

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why did the zookeeper lose his job? for choking the chicken and spanking the monkey!

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wood fired pizza how would pizza get a job now

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A scarecrow said this job isn’t for everyone. But HAY! its in my jeans

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I just quit my job at a can crushing factory. It was soda-pressing.

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What would be a good job for a fat person? A four-chin teller!!

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The Wine Taster At An Old Vineyard Died. A Homeless Guy, Looking Ragged And Dirty, Came To Apply. He Persuaded The Manager To Give Him A Try. The guy was given a glass of wine. He swirled, smelled, sipped and spit. “It’s a red wine, Merlot, three years old, grown on the South Slope and matured in oak barrels." He said. “Impressive,” said the manager. The man is given another. "Still a red wine, Cabernet, eight years old, from the Northeast slope, stored in a steel vats.” The manager was amazed. He winked at his secretary. The secretary understood and brought out a glass of urine. The drunkard tasted it and said. “It’s a blond, 27 years old, three months pregnant, and if I don’t get this job, I’ll tell who the father is!” How did the security guard at the orchid get better at his job? He got an Apple Watch.

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Everyone in my class: I can’t wait until have a family, I can’t wait to study for my dream job My friends: What’s your dream job? Me: I’m going to die young :))

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Why can’t orphans get a job? Because they don’t have a home.

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I went to my sister room one day. I see a trophy, so I ask my sister how did you won this trophy my sister said to me the neighbors gave it to me because I gave out the best hand jobs in the neighbor. I guess my sister put her hands in good use.

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what’s the difference between your job and a dead hooker? your job still sucks

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