A scarecrow said this job isn’t for everyone. But HAY! its in my jeans
my job is so amazing. today a man asked me to check his balance, so i pushed him over. his balance isn’t good
If you were to ask me, ‘What is the easiest job in the world?’, it would be an Australian psychiatrist. “G’Day, G’Day…how you doing…no worries, next!”.
what’s the difference between a pizza delivery guy and a cop. pizza guys get punished for not doing their jobs properly
One day I was going home, and 7 married men came to me and said you should be proud of your sister. I ask why they told me it was the best that they ever had and we got your sister a trophy. So I went home my sister said look at my trophy I earned. The trophy said The Best Blow Jobs. As a bro I couldn’t be more prouder.
one day, little Sally hears the phone ringing. she picks it up "Hello, this is daddy, Sally. Is your mom nearby." Sally says, “No, shes upstairs with Uncle john” “Uncle john? i don’t know an Uncle John.” “no, no, no, you must be mistaken, daddy” “no i’m sure there’s no one named Uncle John in our family.” “Okay, but why did you call?” Says Sally. “Ummm no reason, just tell mommy that daddy’s pulling into the driveway right now.” “Okay daddy!” long pause "Okay daddy! I did it!’ “Great job Sally! What did she says?” “Mommy said OH FU… and then she ran around with no clothes on and tripped on the carpet and hit her head on the bookshelf. shes now resting it looks like… then Uncle John screams and jumps out the window into the swimming pool, but of course we took all the water out this winter…” then dad replies “Swimming pool? we dont have a…is this 468-1843?”
My girlfriend got ran over by a bus I lost my job as a bus driver.
(To a mexican person) When i first met you I thought you were going to say,My name is enrique i have a job for you.
a surgeon loses his job as he botched a surgery boss: “we have to let you go.” surgeon: “I protest innocence.” boss: “how?” surgeon: “I thought to do your job and saving people’s lives were two different things. ” boss: “get out”
why did the zookeeper lose his job? for choking the chicken and spanking the monkey!
So your in a hospital you barely survive your suicide attempt you see one of the scalpels you finish the job
What would be a good job for a fat person? A four-chin teller!!
Why did the dwarf get a job at lidl? Because every lidl heps
this isnt an orphan joke but. I got a job at a library, but it only lasted 15 minutes. Turns out, books about women’s rights shouldn’t go in the Sci-Fi / Fantasy section.
Today was a bad day. First My ex got hit by a bus. Then I lost my job as a bus driver
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