One man was very depressed cause he lost everything. He lost his job. He lost his home and he lost his wife. So he went lonely into the forest to grief. Suddenly with the head rise up he sees Santa Claus walking by. - Santa? he asks. ‘Why are you early, it is not even christmas?’ ho, ho. Don’t worry about me. Lets worry about you instead’ says Santa. What is the problem my friend?’ I lost everything good in my life. I got fired from my job. My wife divorced me. I lost my house." Santa: I can help you. You can wish three things you want in life and i’ll give it to you-" Man: My first wish is i want my house back. Santa: Done! Man: My second wish is i want 1 million amount of cash in my bank account. Santa: Done! Man: My third wish is i also want my job back! Santa: Done, but before i actually give you those wishes, I haft to hump you. Man: Okey. Lets do it. So the Santa claus takes of his pants to hump the man. After they are done humping the santa ask the man: -How old are you? Man: I am 35 years old. Santa: And still believe in Santa Claus??!! HOHOHOHO!!!
wood fired pizza how would pizza get a job now
where do mermaids get a job? at the kelp wanted station
What’s the difference between a job and a wife The job keeps sucking after 5 years
So your in a hospital you barely survive your suicide attempt you see one of the scalpels you finish the job
my job is so amazing. today a man asked me to check his balance, so i pushed him over. his balance isn’t good
John : hi boss it is raining heavily today so I would not be coming Boss: u stated in ur job application that swimming was it hobby so see u at at 11am
Two Native Americans ?????? Unwittingly walk into a gay bar and sit down to order a pitcher of beer. As they’re sitting there sucking back on their ale, a gay guy walks up and says, “How would you boys like a blow job?” The one Indian stands up and decks the guy, knocking him unconscious. He then sits back down and finishes his beer. His buddy looks over and says, “Hey Joe, what did you do that for? ” Joe replies, “Not sure but it was something about getting a job!”
I got a job at a library once, i got fired like an hour in because the library manager said that the cookbooks didn’t go into the women’s sports section.
I was sitting with my little brother when he was about four-ish. He was starting to really like to identify objects for some reason, so he was showing me his toys. He grabbed his toy Mator truck and then pointed to the wheels, saying, “These are wheels.” I said, “Good job, yes they are.” Then he pointed to the bumper and said, “This is a bumper.” Again, I congratulated him. Then, he grabbed the toy’s wire with the hook at the end and said, “And this is a hooker.” I died laughing.
What did the wind say to the palm tree? Hold onto your nuts this is no ordinary blow job.
Boobs are like batteries… AA will get the job done… C is bigger than AA… D is bigger that C… …and if they’re square, you don’t want to put your tongue on them!
A dad told his son never to hit girls so the sun repeid i promis. When the sun got older he was doing the dirty with "a girl " and the girl sais spank me daddy… and the sons repsonds my dad said never to hit a girl. and the “girl” takes of the wig and its his dad and the dad said good job son!.. Son:… um
Why is there a lot of whites in hockey? It’s the only other job that involves beating something black other than being a cop
My girlfriend got ran over by a bus I lost my job as a bus driver.
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