Yo mama is so ugly, she walked into a haunted house and walked out with a job application.
A man walked into a shop and asked the shop keeper for a potato-clock. The shop keeper said, "I dont know what a potato clock is’ The man said, "me neither but im starting a new job and my boss told me work starts at 9 so id have to get a potato clock
A girl walked into a job interview. The interviewer said “you are what we are looking for, but i need to test your skills. ” he hands her a pen He said “sell me this pen” She puts in between her boobs.
I lost my job at the bank on my very first day. – A woman asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her over.
Last Night I had a dream I was swimming in lemonade… turns out I peed the bed. What’s a spider-man’s dream job? Web developer
I want a job cleaning mirrors, I could really see myself doing it ??
why did the hooker quit her job? she had a nut allergy Cindy goes up to her dad and says: "Daddy, can I have $100 for a new dress?" Her dad almost gags and says: "$100! You’re only 12, what do you want with such an expensive dress?" Cindy says: "Well daddy, I’ll look really pretty in it and I promise to look after it …" Dad gives in and says: “OK, give me a head-job then”. He flops it out and Cindy just get the end in her mouth and goes: "Eeee-yooo - that taste’s like shit! " Dad goes: “Well, your brother wanted to borrow the car this afternoon …”
I was working for Space X. I was instructed to control a satellite’s orbit rotation when suddenly the screen went black. I investigated and found out one of Penaldos penalty had hit and destroyed the satellite. Shame on you Penaldo for ruining my dream job!
Boobs are like batteries… AA will get the job done… C is bigger than AA… D is bigger that C… …and if they’re square, you don’t want to put your tongue on them!
You know a parana can devour a small child in 30 seconds Any way I lost my job at the aquarium today
What do you call sex in the world trade center? An inside job.
I GOT a job as a pencil sharpener I would tell you about it but you wouldn’t get the point.
One day I was going home, and 7 married men came to me and said you should be proud of your sister. I ask why they told me it was the best that they ever had and we got your sister a trophy. So I went home my sister said look at my trophy I earned. The trophy said The Best Blow Jobs. As a bro I couldn’t be more prouder.
Why is there a lot of whites in hockey? It’s the only other job that involves beating something black other than being a cop
What was Frankenstein’s second job? – He was a bodybuilder.
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