I went to my sister room one day. I see a trophy, so I ask my sister how did you won this trophy my sister said to me the neighbors gave it to me because I gave out the best hand jobs in the neighbor. I guess my sister put her hands in good use.
how come orphans know how to do laundry cause thats usually the moms job
A scarecrow said this job isn’t for everyone. But HAY! its in my jeans
I got a job at a library once, i got fired like an hour in because the library manager said that the cookbooks didn’t go into the women’s sports section.
My sister told me she like Medusa. I said h. My sister said my blow jobs are so good she looks up at the guy facial expression and when the look down they do nothing, but stay still.
Why is there a lot of whites in hockey? It’s the only other job that involves beating something black other than being a cop
My ex boyfriend’s dick is so small that instead of giving him a handjob I had to give him a thumb and forefinger job.
I just quit my job at a can crushing factory. It was soda-pressing.
What’s the difference between a job and a wife The job keeps sucking after 5 years
where do mermaids get a job? at the kelp wanted station
want a kiss daddy wand a blow job
A foreign man came to America not knowing a word of English and right away began looking for a job. He became a chorus teacher and learned to say, ?Mi-mi-mi-mi-mi!? After that he joined the Army and learned to say, ?Yes sir!? After that he worked at a restaurant and learned to say, ?Forks and knives, forks and knives!? After that he worked at a candy store and picked up the words, ?Goody-goody gumdrops!? A few weeks later, there was a murder in the area and he was the first person to be interrogated by the police. The interrogation went as follows: Policeman: Who killed the man? Foreign man: Mi-mi-mi-mi-mi! Policeman: Did you kill the man? Foreign man: Yes sir! Policeman: What did you use to kill him: Foreign man: Forks and knives, forks and knives! Policeman: You?re under arrest. Foreign man: Goody-goody gumdrops!
Last Night I had a dream I was swimming in lemonade… turns out I peed the bed. What’s a spider-man’s dream job? Web developer
in English class the teacher says (Teacher): Kids you need to say the alphabet ok Sally you first. (Sally): Okay a b c d e f g h i j k l m n o p q r s t u v w x y z. (Teacher): good job Sally. Then the teacher called on 4 other students who got it right. Then the teacher called on little Johnny. (Teacher): Little Johnny say the alphabet. (Little Johnny): bcefghijklmnopsvwxyz. (Teacher): no Johnny that’s not right. (Johnny): oh I forgot u r a q t. (Teacher). No still not right and thank you. (Johnny): oh I’ll give you the d later . (Class): (laughing). (Teacher): GO TO THE OFFICE NOW .
I lost my job by giving up my seat to someone I didn’t know you’re not supposed to do that if you’re a bus driver!
RUS | ENG
