Employer: Can you preform under pressure? Me: No, but i do a pretty good Bohemian Rhapsody.
Last Night I had a dream I was swimming in lemonade… turns out I peed the bed. What’s a spider-man’s dream job? Web developer
“I work with animals” the man said to his date. his date said “I love a man who works with animals what job is it for the animal” “I am a butcher” said the man
A girl walked into a job interview. The interviewer said “you are what we are looking for, but i need to test your skills. ” he hands her a pen He said “sell me this pen” She puts in between her boobs.
So your in a hospital you barely survive your suicide attempt you see one of the scalpels you finish the job
What did the wind say to the palm tree? Hold onto your nuts this is no ordinary blow job.
My grief counselor died the other day He was so good at his job, i don’t even care.
I went to my sister room one day. I see a trophy, so I ask my sister how did you won this trophy my sister said to me the neighbors gave it to me because I gave out the best hand jobs in the neighbor. I guess my sister put her hands in good use.
Everyone in my class: I can’t wait until have a family, I can’t wait to study for my dream job My friends: What’s your dream job? Me: I’m going to die young :))
Today my EX got trampled by a bunch of horse and sadly I lost my job as a horse trainer.
where do mermaids get a job? at the kelp wanted station
The Wine Taster At An Old Vineyard Died. A Homeless Guy, Looking Ragged And Dirty, Came To Apply. He Persuaded The Manager To Give Him A Try. The guy was given a glass of wine. He swirled, smelled, sipped and spit. “It’s a red wine, Merlot, three years old, grown on the South Slope and matured in oak barrels." He said. “Impressive,” said the manager. The man is given another. "Still a red wine, Cabernet, eight years old, from the Northeast slope, stored in a steel vats.” The manager was amazed. He winked at his secretary. The secretary understood and brought out a glass of urine. The drunkard tasted it and said. “It’s a blond, 27 years old, three months pregnant, and if I don’t get this job, I’ll tell who the father is!” How did the security guard at the orchid get better at his job? He got an Apple Watch.
how come orphans know how to do laundry cause thats usually the moms job
A dad told his son never to hit girls so the sun repeid i promis. When the sun got older he was doing the dirty with "a girl " and the girl sais spank me daddy… and the sons repsonds my dad said never to hit a girl. and the “girl” takes of the wig and its his dad and the dad said good job son!.. Son:… um
I want a job cleaning mirrors, I could really see myself doing it ??
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