The teacher once said to some students ?i was an orphan before your principle hired me.? the students said ?oof that is sad? the teacher tried to ignore them and take attendance she said ?is anyone missing? the students said ? your parents.? the teacher got offended and later that day quit her job
Today my EX got trampled by a bunch of horse and sadly I lost my job as a horse trainer.
A foreign man came to America not knowing a word of English and right away began looking for a job. He became a chorus teacher and learned to say, ?Mi-mi-mi-mi-mi!? After that he joined the Army and learned to say, ?Yes sir!? After that he worked at a restaurant and learned to say, ?Forks and knives, forks and knives!? After that he worked at a candy store and picked up the words, ?Goody-goody gumdrops!? A few weeks later, there was a murder in the area and he was the first person to be interrogated by the police. The interrogation went as follows: Policeman: Who killed the man? Foreign man: Mi-mi-mi-mi-mi! Policeman: Did you kill the man? Foreign man: Yes sir! Policeman: What did you use to kill him: Foreign man: Forks and knives, forks and knives! Policeman: You?re under arrest. Foreign man: Goody-goody gumdrops!
A dad told his son never to hit girls so the sun repeid i promis. When the sun got older he was doing the dirty with "a girl " and the girl sais spank me daddy… and the sons repsonds my dad said never to hit a girl. and the “girl” takes of the wig and its his dad and the dad said good job son!.. Son:… um
Today was a terrible day. My wife got hit by a bus, and I lost my job as a bus driver
“I work with animals” the man said to his date. his date said “I love a man who works with animals what job is it for the animal” “I am a butcher” said the man
wait isnt this sans job to make a joke? Ur so ugly that when u came out of the hunted house u had a job offer
Last Night I had a dream I was swimming in lemonade… turns out I peed the bed. What’s a spider-man’s dream job? Web developer
I was on a bus when this girl offered to blow me for $5… ?…and never being a person to pass up a good deal, I gave her $5 and watched her do her thing. After she was finished she lit up a cigarette and started smoking right there on the bus. I was disgusted. I thought to myself, “What is this world coming to? Who sells cigarettes to a 12 year old?”
Employer: Can you preform under pressure? Me: No, but i do a pretty good Bohemian Rhapsody.
Why did the dwarf get a job at lidl? Because every lidl heps
One day I was going home, and 7 married men came to me and said you should be proud of your sister. I ask why they told me it was the best that they ever had and we got your sister a trophy. So I went home my sister said look at my trophy I earned. The trophy said The Best Blow Jobs. As a bro I couldn’t be more prouder.
Everyone in my class: I can’t wait until have a family, I can’t wait to study for my dream job My friends: What’s your dream job? Me: I’m going to die young :))
my job is so amazing. today a man asked me to check his balance, so i pushed him over. his balance isn’t good
I just quit my job at a can crushing factory. It was soda-pressing.
RUS | ENG
