my job is so amazing. today a man asked me to check his balance, so i pushed him over. his balance isn’t good
a surgeon loses his job as he botched a surgery boss: “we have to let you go.” surgeon: “I protest innocence.” boss: “how?” surgeon: “I thought to do your job and saving people’s lives were two different things. ” boss: “get out”
What did they call Susan B. Anthony when she was sleeping on the job? Snoozin’ B. Anthony!
the teacher asked the class what sound does a cow make mooo said sally good job said the teacher what sound does a sheep make baa said jack good now what sound does a pig make little johnny raised his hand really high in the sky the teacher called him he said htm title=' ur hands on ur head u black moterf@cker'>the pig says get on the ground and put ur hands on ur head u black moterf@cker
I hate these double standards. if you burn a body at a crematorium you’re "doing a good job" if you do it at home you’re “destroying evidence”
A man walked into a shop and asked the shop keeper for a potato-clock. The shop keeper said, "I dont know what a potato clock is’ The man said, "me neither but im starting a new job and my boss told me work starts at 9 so id have to get a potato clock
wait isnt this sans job to make a joke? Ur so ugly that when u came out of the hunted house u had a job offer
Guy asked me what I do for a living. Now I’m not old enough to get a job so I said nothing. He asked me again so I said, “Your wife” The guy goes to slap me but his wife is standing right there. She instead slapped me and said, “You swore not to tell!”
I was working for Space X. I was instructed to control a satellite’s orbit rotation when suddenly the screen went black. I investigated and found out one of Penaldos penalty had hit and destroyed the satellite. Shame on you Penaldo for ruining my dream job!
I saw a child crying yesterday so I asked him where his parents were. Bad move. I got fired from my job at the orphanage.
I kept asking these kids where there parents are and they started crying, I walked away laughing thinking i love my job at an orphanage
I lost my job by giving up my seat to someone I didn’t know you’re not supposed to do that if you’re a bus driver!
how come orphans know how to do laundry cause thats usually the moms job
Boobs are like batteries… AA will get the job done… C is bigger than AA… D is bigger that C… …and if they’re square, you don’t want to put your tongue on them!
What do you call sex in the world trade center? An inside job.
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