Job jokes

I saw a child crying yesterday so I asked him where his parents were. Bad move. I got fired from my job at the orphanage.

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where do mermaids get a job? at the kelp wanted station

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my job is so amazing. today a man asked me to check his balance, so i pushed him over. his balance isn’t good

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what’s the difference between your job and a dead hooker? your job still sucks

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Everyone in my class: I can’t wait until have a family, I can’t wait to study for my dream job My friends: What’s your dream job? Me: I’m going to die young :))

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So your in a hospital you barely survive your suicide attempt you see one of the scalpels you finish the job

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Today was a terrible day. My wife got hit by a bus, and I lost my job as a bus driver

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I never wanted to believe that my Dad was stealing from his job as a road worker. But when I got home, all the signs were there.

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A dad told his son never to hit girls so the sun repeid i promis. When the sun got older he was doing the dirty with "a girl " and the girl sais spank me daddy… and the sons repsonds my dad said never to hit a girl. and the “girl” takes of the wig and its his dad and the dad said good job son!.. Son:… um

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I got a job at a library once, i got fired like an hour in because the library manager said that the cookbooks didn’t go into the women’s sports section.

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what’s the difference between a pizza delivery guy and a cop. pizza guys get punished for not doing their jobs properly

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I lost my job by giving up my seat to someone I didn’t know you’re not supposed to do that if you’re a bus driver!

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If you were to ask me, ‘What is the easiest job in the world?’, it would be an Australian psychiatrist. “G’Day, G’Day…how you doing…no worries, next!”.

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The teacher once said to some students ?i was an orphan before your principle hired me.? the students said ?oof that is sad? the teacher tried to ignore them and take attendance she said ?is anyone missing? the students said ? your parents.? the teacher got offended and later that day quit her job

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My ex died today. I also lost my job as a butcher

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