Job jokes

Why can’t orphans get a job? Because they don’t have a home.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

wait isnt this sans job to make a joke? Ur so ugly that when u came out of the hunted house u had a job offer

-2 -1 0 +1 +2


I lost my job at the bank on my very first day. – A woman asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her over.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

John : hi boss it is raining heavily today so I would not be coming Boss: u stated in ur job application that swimming was it hobby so see u at at 11am

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *
-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

Business Interview With Depression Inside my brain… Me: So… You’re new? Depression: (I don’t know who he is yet) mHMMMmmm! Me: Well what are your skills? Depression: Oh, taking control and leading… You know… Me: What are you trying out for? Depression: Oh, Vice Leader of Negative Thoughts. Me: Well we do need someone over there- for somewhat reason nobody wanted that job… Me: How did you know about us? Depression: Oh- I knew because of Anxiety, you know, we’re friends! Me: Interesting… (Still has no idea about Anxiety and it’s problemos) Me: Well I think you’re signed up! I’ll give you the job! Depression: tHaNKS :) AND THATS HOW MY LIFE GOT DESTROYED :]

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

A job is like virginity. Not everyone loses it.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

why did the zookeeper lose his job? for choking the chicken and spanking the monkey!

-2 -1 0 +1 +2


I went to my sister room one day. I see a trophy, so I ask my sister how did you won this trophy my sister said to me the neighbors gave it to me because I gave out the best hand jobs in the neighbor. I guess my sister put her hands in good use.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

Three men are travelling through the desert when their single camel dies. They walk for a while but then it becomes night. Desperate for shelter, suddenly they stumble across a tent and inside is three beautiful women. The men were not only lost but horny too so they begin to have sex with the women. But the tent belongs to a prince and these three women were his wives so he is very angry when he arrives an hour later and sees three strangers having sex with his wives. He tells the three men he will chop off their penises as punishment, in some way relating to their job. He asks the first man what his job is: The guy says, "I’m a fireman" The prince says, "Then we’ll burn your dick off!" The second guy says, "I’m an employee at the shooting range" The prince says, "Then we’ll shoot your dick off! " The third guy smiles and says, "I’m a lollipop salesman

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

A girl walked into a job interview. The interviewer said “you are what we are looking for, but i need to test your skills. ” he hands her a pen He said “sell me this pen” She puts in between her boobs.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

I got a job at a library once, i got fired like an hour in because the library manager said that the cookbooks didn’t go into the women’s sports section.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

What was Frankenstein’s second job? – He was a bodybuilder.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *
-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

I hate these double standards. if you burn a body at a crematorium you’re "doing a good job" if you do it at home you’re “destroying evidence”

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *


© àíåêäîòîâ.net, 1997 - 2025