Life jokes

I have a funny joke: my life

I am trying to re comment something that used to be on here, but is no longer on here. Here are some rules to make a good joke: 1: don’t say “my life” 2: proof read your joke, and make sure people can read it/have good grammar in it 3: And don’t re post things (although this last one is hippocritical because this was me trying to repost something but it is still a good rule to go by)

What makes a nuke and divorce the same?

It only takes one of each to end your life.

%%Rules of Dark humor:

All subject matter can be used, nothing is off limits.

No saying “Me” or “My Life” as a joke. Nobody finds those funny. We want actual good and meaningful jokes.

Don’t Repeat Previously Posted Jokes. If you are saying the same joke that the person right before you posted you are just begging for attention and nobody by any means likes that. I will add more in the future and be frequent on this site.

Sincerely, Zane

What’s the similarity between a broken pencil and my life? They’re both pointless.

Life is like a box of chocolates. It doesn’t last as long for fat people.

Why cant the orphan play the game of life? they dont know what a family road trip is.??

Remember kids, when you’re angry, burn down an orphanage. Then they’ll really be living the hard knock life.

My life is a lot like a game of Black Jack

I always hit on 16, the get busted

Whats the difference between life and death…life hurts

Business Interview With Depression Inside my brain…

Me: So… You’re new?

Depression: (I don’t know who he is yet) mHMMMmmm!

Me: Well what are your skills?

Depression: Oh, taking control and leading… You know…

Me: What are you trying out for?

Depression: Oh, Vice Leader of Negative Thoughts.

Me: Well we do need someone over there- for somewhat reason nobody wanted that job…

Me: How did you know about us?

Depression: Oh- I knew because of Anxiety, you know, we’re friends!

Me: Interesting… (Still has no idea about Anxiety and it’s problemos)

Me: Well I think you’re signed up! I’ll give you the job!

Depression: tHaNKS:)

AND THATS HOW MY LIFE GOT DESTROYED:]

Despite Michael Jackson’s legal problems while we was alive, McDonald’s is still going to honor his life achievements in the music industry by naming a sandwich after him.

They’re going to call it the McMichael! It’s going to be a fifty year old piece of meat pressed between two eight year old buns.

Life is like a box of chocolates, mostly dissapointing

People say that life is short I say… Life is the longest thing we ever do

You looking for jokes? i have one, your life