My family loves to have dance parties. My dad will just play music from his iPod, and I’ll go to the light switch and make a nice strobe light effect. Everyone loves it, especially my younger cousin. He gets down on the floor and starts breakdancing! It makes him so happy, and he needs that extra joy in his life, especially since the doctor recently diagnosed him with epilepsy.
If being ugly was a crime you would have a life sentence My phone battery lasts longer than your friendships There is a tree out there giving you oxegyn, and you owe that tree an apology. I don’t hate you, but I gotta unplug your life support to charge my phone. When I saw your dad on the side walk I didn’t laugh but the sidewalk cracked up. If I had powers I would make you the dumbest person alive but it seems life already beat me to the punch. If karma ever comes to punch ya in the face, I wanna be there to help it If I had a dollar for every time you said something smart I’d be broke. You are more disappointing than a cake without frosting Were you born on a highway cuz that’s where most accidents happen Wow, that hurts, now I know how it felt when your mom said that to ya Your the reason this country has to put directions on shampoo, and you may as well be the reason why the middle finger was invented
Life is like a box of chocolates, mostly dissapointing
what makes a nuke and divorce the same? it only takes one of each to end your life.
whats the difference between life and death…life hurts
A penis has a sad life. His hair is a mess. His family is nuts. His neighbor is an asshole. His best friend is a pussy. And his owner beats him.
A cow went into a pride of lion’s territory? Since that moment he knew his life was on stake
People say that life is short I say… Life is the longest thing we ever do
Give a man a plane ticket and he’ll fly for a day. Push a man from a plane and he’ll fly for the rest of his life.
My life is like a broken pencil, it’s pointless.
My mom trying to get me to do dishes Mom: I gave you life and you should be able to wash dishes. Me: Why did you? Mom: I was very drunk… Explains a lot…
My teacher gave us an assignment and one of the questions was "What do you want to be when you grow up?" I answered “Happy”. The teacher said I didn’t understand the test, I said to her that she didn’t understand life
Tell a woman she’s beautiful a hundred times and she won’t believe you. Tell a woman she’s fat once and she will remember it for the rest of her life because elephants never forget.
If being ugly was a crime u would get a life sentence
The closest thing in a depression person’s life is a knife and his/her throat
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