All you need is a Razor Blade in life.
Give a man a plane ticket and he’ll fly for a day. Push a man from a plane and he’ll fly for the rest of his life.
I am trying to re comment something that used to be on here, but is no longer on here. Here are some rules to make a good joke: 1: don’t say “my life” 2: proof read your joke, and make sure people can read it/have good grammar in it 3: And don’t re post things (although this last one is hippocritical because this was me trying to repost something but it is still a good rule to go by)
In what ways do nuns and hoes have something in common? They both worship on their knees. They are both creatures of habit. They both take vows of poverty and obedience. Once chosen, neither can leave the life. They both swallow their hosts.
when you frend ask why dont you smile then you look at them and then rels no one there becase you have no frinds #my life
I wish I could say that my life is a joke but I can’t because jokes have a meaning
A penis has a sad life. His hair is a mess. His family is nuts. His neighbor is an asshole. His best friend is a pussy. And his owner beats him.
Nobody Literally nobody Gordan Ramsey: do you need me to bring Hitler back to life so he can show you how to use a f@cking oven
Friend 1: What’s the most disappointing thing that ever happened to you? For me repeating a year. Friend 2: Failing an important test. And you? Then there is me: My life.
When Jim was playing on his phone, my grandfather told him, “You use way too much technology!”. Jim then said, “No, YOU use too much technology! ” and then Jim disconnected his grandfather’s life support.
My teacher gave us an assignment and one of the questions was "What do you want to be when you grow up?" I answered “Happy”. The teacher said I didn’t understand the test, I said to her that she didn’t understand life
One night a girl said to her family "Goodnight Mommy, Goodnight Daddy, Goodnight Grandma, Goodbye Grandpa. the next morning her grandpa died. That night she said "Goodnight mommy, Goodnight daddy, Goodbye Grandma. the next morning the grandma died. The dad started to fear for his life because he was next. That night the girl said "Goodnight mommy, Goodbye daddy. the next morning the dad woke up and he was perfectly fine but when he went into the kitchen he saw his wife crying. when he asked her whats wrong she said “The Mail Man died”.
My family loves to have dance parties. My dad will just play music from his iPod, and I’ll go to the light switch and make a nice strobe light effect. Everyone loves it, especially my younger cousin. He gets down on the floor and starts breakdancing! It makes him so happy, and he needs that extra joy in his life, especially since the doctor recently diagnosed him with epilepsy.
im not suicidal im just speedrunning life
If being ugly was a crime u would get a life sentence
RUS | ENG
