One night, I saw a woman sitting behind a dumpster. So I took her home. We talked all the way there. When we got home, I gave her a bath. Later on, things started getting passionate. We started doing intercourse, and some of the noises she made you would have thought she was still alive! My girlfriend dumped me, so I stole her wheelchair Guess who came crawling back
Looks like I lost an electron, I should keep a better ion them.
“You look like you’ve lost some weight.” “Really? Well, whatever weight I lost, you found it, pal!”
when the quiet kid lost a game of basket ball and reaches in to his bag other people in gym: oh shit this nigga bouta shot
Where did Suzy go after getting lost on a minefield? Everywhere
An orphan walks into a supermarket, gets lost calls for his mum then remembers
Location is in London by the way. One day a fatass came home and told his friend that he lost money. His friend, “Oh for once you lost some pounds!”
what is a orphans favorite song. lost boy
My ex girlfriend got hit by a bus. I also lost my bus drivers licence.
what do u call a mexican who’s lost his car carlos
How do you know that the U.S. suck at chess/ They lost two towers.
What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? -Where’e my tractor?!
Three men are travelling through the desert when their single camel dies. They walk for a while but then it becomes night. Desperate for shelter, suddenly they stumble across a tent and inside is three beautiful women. The men were not only lost but horny too so they begin to have sex with the women. But the tent belongs to a prince and these three women were his wives so he is very angry when he arrives an hour later and sees three strangers having sex with his wives. He tells the three men he will chop off their penises as punishment, in some way relating to their job. He asks the first man what his job is: The guy says, "I’m a fireman" The prince says, "Then we’ll burn your dick off!" The second guy says, "I’m an employee at the shooting range" The prince says, "Then we’ll shoot your dick off! " The third guy smiles and says, "I’m a lollipop salesman
You know a parana can devour a small child in 30 seconds Any way I lost my job at the aquarium today
A blonde and a redhead have a ranch. They have just lost their bull. The women need to buy another, but only have $500. The redhead tells the blonde, “I will go to the market and see if I can find one for under that amount. If I can, I will send you a telegram.” She goes to the market and finds one for $499. Having only one dollar left, she goes to the telegraph office and finds out that it costs one dollar per word. She is stumped on how to tell the blonde to bring the truck and trailer. Finally, she tells the telegraph operator to send the word “comfortable.” Skeptical, the operator asks, “How will she know to come with the trailer from just that word? ” The redhead replies, “She’s a blonde so she reads slow: ‘Come for ta bull.’”
RUS | ENG
