I lost a race with a handicapped person today. The problem was the race was all stairs. Gravity sure is fast
What do you call a lost indian women? Ms Singh
You know a parana can devour a small child in 30 seconds Any way I lost my job at the aquarium today
What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? -Where’e my tractor?!
My cousin: Brother I lost in a game of Call of Duty: Moe Bill [he was supposed to pronounce it as mobile however I left it as it is] Me: so tell me about it then. My cousin: I lost to Sum_Baldi Me: somebody? Don’t they have like the name of you opponents? My cousin: no no no the name was Sum_Baldi. S.U.M_B.A.L.D.I Me: Ok my bad. Continue My cousin: I got Sum_Baldi and 5 seconds later I got kill but [by] Sum_Fing_Wong. Me: it’s not wrong! In call of duty, you are suppose to kill or be killed. My cousin: no no no the name was Sum_Fing_Wong. S.U.M_F.I.N.G_W.O.N.G Me: my bad again. Do continue. My cousin: I got so angry I blowup Me: so you got blowed up, by what weapon? My cousin: by the game. Me: [was not expecting that for an answer]
An orphan walks into a supermarket, gets lost calls for his mum then remembers
i just found out my ex got stabbed today…lets just say i lost my job as a butcher
I tried to sue the airport for misplacing my luggage. – I lost my case.
Stephen Hawking died because he accidentaly lost his bluetooth connection
Your forehead is so big, Megamind though he was your long lost sibling. (me)
A blonde and a redhead have a ranch. They have just lost their bull. The women need to buy another, but only have $500. The redhead tells the blonde, “I will go to the market and see if I can find one for under that amount. If I can, I will send you a telegram.” She goes to the market and finds one for $499. Having only one dollar left, she goes to the telegraph office and finds out that it costs one dollar per word. She is stumped on how to tell the blonde to bring the truck and trailer. Finally, she tells the telegraph operator to send the word “comfortable.” Skeptical, the operator asks, “How will she know to come with the trailer from just that word? ” The redhead replies, “She’s a blonde so she reads slow: ‘Come for ta bull.’”
I used to be a banker but I lost interest… Why was Cinderella thrown off the basketball team? She always ran away from the ball. Why can’t bikes stand? Because they are two tired (Too tired)
I lost my job at the bank on my very first day. – A woman asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her over.
So you know those people that commit suicide by hanging them selves I guess they lost Hangman
What dose an Orphan and a lost kid have in comen. They have no way home
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