A little kid was lost and he asked me to find his home, I love working at the orphanage
Today my EX got trampled by a bunch of horse and sadly I lost my job as a horse trainer.
Your forehead is so big, Megamind though he was your long lost sibling. (me)
I lost my black friend in the shadows. I lost my white friend on the wall. I lost my Asian friend in the sand and I lost my Islamic friend in the bombings.
I lost my drivers license today i hit my ex with my car
“You look like you’ve lost some weight.” “Really? Well, whatever weight I lost, you found it, pal!”
I always sucked at mazes. I found myself lost over and over again but if life is a labyrinth, I’d always find the escape. The final dead end, my personal favourite…
What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? -Where’e my tractor?!
One night, I saw a woman sitting behind a dumpster. So I took her home. We talked all the way there. When we got home, I gave her a bath. Later on, things started getting passionate. We started doing intercourse, and some of the noises she made you would have thought she was still alive! My girlfriend dumped me, so I stole her wheelchair Guess who came crawling back
A man in conversation with his friend says that his wife is on a 3-week diet. The friend curiously asks, how much has she lost? The man replies, “her life.”
Did you hear about the fire in the shoe factory? Many soles were lost.
My dad is like my virginity. I lost him at 12
My ex girlfriend got hit by a bus. I also lost my bus drivers licence.
Today was the worst day ever! My brother got run over, and I lost my driver’s license!
I used to be a banker but I lost interest… Why was Cinderella thrown off the basketball team? She always ran away from the ball. Why can’t bikes stand? Because they are two tired (Too tired)
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