I tried to sue the airline for losing my luggage. I lost my case.
One night, I saw a woman sitting behind a dumpster. So I took her home. We talked all the way there. When we got home, I gave her a bath. Later on, things started getting passionate. We started doing intercourse, and some of the noises she made you would have thought she was still alive! My girlfriend dumped me, so I stole her wheelchair Guess who came crawling back
Two atom soldiers are fighting against an army. One gets shot. He cried out, im hit! I think I’ve lost an electron! Are you sure? Asks the other. Im positive! This one as actually physics(unlike some other joke here, ahem cough cough)
My girlfriend got ran over by a bus I lost my job as a bus driver.
Why is the USA bad a at clash Royale?, cause they already lost two towers
Why do Americans suck at chess… because they lost two towers Me: I have lost it. Random: Lost what? Me: My will to live.
A man in conversation with his friend says that his wife is on a 3-week diet. The friend curiously asks, how much has she lost? The man replies, “her life.”
%%Why Did The Columbine High School Basketball Team Lose The Big Game? Because They Lost Their Two Best Shooters…
Why does Spiderman only have 11 months in his calendar Because he Lost May!!
A blonde and a redhead have a ranch. They have just lost their bull. The women need to buy another, but only have $500. The redhead tells the blonde, “I will go to the market and see if I can find one for under that amount. If I can, I will send you a telegram.” She goes to the market and finds one for $499. Having only one dollar left, she goes to the telegraph office and finds out that it costs one dollar per word. She is stumped on how to tell the blonde to bring the truck and trailer. Finally, she tells the telegraph operator to send the word “comfortable.” Skeptical, the operator asks, “How will she know to come with the trailer from just that word? ” The redhead replies, “She’s a blonde so she reads slow: ‘Come for ta bull.’”
My ex girlfriend got hit by a bus. I also lost my bus drivers licence.
Looks like I lost an electron, I should keep a better ion them.
A guy goes to Starbucks and asks”Hey, if I can make you laugh I don’t have to pay.”The girl in the window says,”ok.”The guys says,”A little boy named Timmy lost his arms.”The girl says,” oh no!”The guy says”and his dad left him when he was 4.”The girl says “uhh yeah.” The guy says”Ok,I guess I’ll be paying then” The girl asks”Ok, And what name will that be under?”The guy says”Timmy,I’m Timmy.”
i just found out my ex got stabbed today…lets just say i lost my job as a butcher
I lost my drivers license today i hit my ex with my car
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