Lost jokes

A man lost his toe when he dropped a knife on it: Doctor: I have good news and bad news Guy" Whats the bad news Doc: They replaced your toe with a piece of candy Guy: Good news? Doc: You now have tic tac toe

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My girlfriend got ran over by a bus I lost my job as a bus driver.

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Two atom soldiers are fighting against an army. One gets shot. He cried out, im hit! I think I’ve lost an electron! Are you sure? Asks the other. Im positive! This one as actually physics(unlike some other joke here, ahem cough cough)

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Today was a bad day. First My ex got hit by a bus. Then I lost my job as a bus driver

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what do u call a mexican who’s lost his car carlos

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I tried to find my watch I lost last week but I didn’t have the time

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I lost a race with a handicapped person today. The problem was the race was all stairs. Gravity sure is fast

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Where did Suzy go after getting lost on a minefield? Everywhere

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My dad is like my virginity. I lost him at 12

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A man in conversation with his friend says that his wife is on a 3-week diet. The friend curiously asks, how much has she lost? The man replies, “her life.”

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what was the name of the Mexican that lost his car? Carlos

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A woman gets rid of polish with chemicals and no one bats an eye The Germans got rid of polish with chemicals and everyone lost their mind

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Did you hear about the fire in the shoe factory? Many soles were lost.

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I used to be a banker but I lost interest… Why was Cinderella thrown off the basketball team? She always ran away from the ball. Why can’t bikes stand? Because they are two tired (Too tired)

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Why did Steven hawking die? He lost wifi connection and don’t get the data plan.

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