Today was a bad day. First My ex got hit by a bus. Then I lost my job as a bus driver
“You look like you’ve lost some weight.” “Really? Well, whatever weight I lost, you found it, pal!”
Your forehead is so big, Megamind though he was your long lost sibling. (me)
why did stephen hawkins die he lost internet connections
Chris Rock: Jada I can’t wait to see you in G.I Jane 2! Fresh Prince of Bel-Air theme song starts playing: Will: I got in one lil fight about my wife’s lost hair, she said,‘’ Will if you don’t do something I’m gonna have an affair!‘’ ??????
Today was the worst day ever! My brother got run over, and I lost my driver’s license!
Today my EX got trampled by a bunch of horse and sadly I lost my job as a horse trainer.
A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette were all lost in the desert. They found a lamp and rubbed it. A genie popped out and granted them each one wish. The redhead wished to be back home. Poof! She was back home. The brunette wished to be at home with her family. Poof! She was back home with her family. The blonde said, “Awwww, I wish my friends were here.”
Why do Americans suck at chess… because they lost two towers Me: I have lost it. Random: Lost what? Me: My will to live.
“why did the Carthaginian say Rome lost the war? -because they were just roman around”
whats one thing youll never find in lost and found? your dad
What do you call a magician who has lost their magic? Ian.
So you know those people that commit suicide by hanging them selves I guess they lost Hangman
A guy goes to Starbucks and asks”Hey, if I can make you laugh I don’t have to pay.”The girl in the window says,”ok.”The guys says,”A little boy named Timmy lost his arms.”The girl says,” oh no!”The guy says”and his dad left him when he was 4.”The girl says “uhh yeah.” The guy says”Ok,I guess I’ll be paying then” The girl asks”Ok, And what name will that be under?”The guy says”Timmy,I’m Timmy.”
My dad is like my virginity. I lost him at 12
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