Lost jokes

A man from France, a man from Britain, and a man from New York are on an exposition to the Amazon Forest. After a while they get lost. So as they are walking suddenly the bushes jump up into the air and men with spears are there. One man says "Hey, your in our sacred land. So what we are going to do is skin you and then use your flesh to make canoes. But we aren’t that crazy so we will let you choose how you die." The man from France said, "bring me the poison." The man from Britain said, "bring me the gun" And the man from New York said, "bring me a fork" The guy was confused with the fork but still brought it the items and gave it to them. The guy from France said, “for the France!” And drank the poison and died. The man from Britain said, “long live the queen!” And shot himself and died. And the man from New York started stabbing himself with the fork and said “MAKE A CANOE OUT OF THIS YOU f@ckERS”

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Your forehead is so big, Megamind though he was your long lost sibling. (me)

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A fully grown bull Great White Shark is 15 feet long and can open its jaws open up to 1.2 meters long. It could eat a small child in seconds. Anyways, I lost my job at the aquarium…

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Today was a terrible day. My wife got hit by a bus, and I lost my job as a bus driver

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My Mum texted me she had lost her phone

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A woman gets rid of polish with chemicals and no one bats an eye The Germans got rid of polish with chemicals and everyone lost their mind

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“You look like you’ve lost some weight.” “Really? Well, whatever weight I lost, you found it, pal!”

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I lost my job at the bank on my very first day. – A woman asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her over.

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What dose an Orphan and a lost kid have in comen. They have no way home

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Where did Suzy go after getting lost on a minefield? Everywhere

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I always sucked at mazes. I found myself lost over and over again but if life is a labyrinth, I’d always find the escape. The final dead end, my personal favourite…

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Why did Steven hawking die? He lost wifi connection and don’t get the data plan.

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My girlfriend got ran over by a bus I lost my job as a bus driver.

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Today my EX got trampled by a bunch of horse and sadly I lost my job as a horse trainer.

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whats one thing youll never find in lost and found? your dad

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