I used to be a banker but I lost interest…
Why was Cinderella thrown off the basketball team? She always ran away from the ball. Why can’t bikes stand? Because they are two tired (Too tired)
Why can’t bikes stand? Because they are two tired (Too tired)
Why does us suck at chess? we lost both our towers. Why is england so good at chess? they still have their queen. Why does russia suck at chess? they only have pawns
A man in conversation with his friend says that his wife is on a 3-week diet. The friend curiously asks, how much has she lost? The man replies, “her life.”
Today my EX got trampled by a bunch of horse and sadly I lost my job as a horse trainer.
Chris Rock: Jada I can’t wait to see you in G.I Jane 2!
Fresh Prince of Bel-Air theme song starts playing:
Will: I got in one lil fight about my wife’s lost hair, she said,‘’ Will if you don’t do something I’m gonna have an affair!‘’???
A man from France, a man from Britain, and a man from New York are on an exposition to the Amazon Forest. After a while they get lost. So as they are walking suddenly the bushes jump up into the air and men with spears are there. One man says "Hey, your in our sacred land. So what we are going to do is skin you and then use your flesh to make canoes. But we aren’t that crazy so we will let you choose how you die." The man from France said, "bring me the poison." The man from Britain said, "bring me the gun" And the man from New York said, "bring me a fork" The guy was confused with the fork but still brought it the items and gave it to them. The guy from France said, “for the France!” And drank the poison and died. The man from Britain said, “long live the queen!” And shot himself and died. And the man from New York started stabbing himself with the fork and said “MAKE A CANOE OUT OF THIS YOU f@ckERS”
I lost at Kahoot so I had to ka-shoot
“You look like you’ve lost some weight.”
“Really? Well, whatever weight I lost, you found it, pal!”
Today I learned that a group of piranhas can maul a small child down to the bone in under 20 seconds. Well I lost my job at the aquarium today.
What do you call a lost indian women? Ms Singh
Where did Suzy go after getting lost on a minefield?
Everywhere
A blonde and a redhead have a ranch. They have just lost their bull. The women need to buy another, but only have $500. The redhead tells the blonde, “I will go to the market and see if I can find one for under that amount. If I can, I will send you a telegram.” She goes to the market and finds one for $499. Having only one dollar left, she goes to the telegraph office and finds out that it costs one dollar per word. She is stumped on how to tell the blonde to bring the truck and trailer. Finally, she tells the telegraph operator to send the word “comfortable.” Skeptical, the operator asks, “How will she know to come with the trailer from just that word? ” The redhead replies, “She’s a blonde so she reads slow: ‘Come for ta bull.’”
Looks like I lost an electron, I should keep a better ion them.
Whats one thing youll never find in lost and found? your dad
A man lost his toe when he dropped a knife on it: Doctor: I have good news and bad news Guy" Whats the bad news Doc: They replaced your toe with a piece of candy Guy: Good news? Doc: You now have tic tac toe
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