I lost a race with a handicapped person today. The problem was the race was all stairs. Gravity sure is fast
Location is in London by the way. One day a fatass came home and told his friend that he lost money. His friend, “Oh for once you lost some pounds!”
I tried to sue the airport for misplacing my luggage. – I lost my case.
My girlfriend got ran over by a bus I lost my job as a bus driver.
Your forehead is so big, Megamind though he was your long lost sibling. (me)
Today I learned that a group of piranhas can maul a small child down to the bone in under 20 seconds. Well I lost my job at the aquarium today.
Where did Joe go after getting lost on the mine field? Everywhere.
How do you know that the U.S. suck at chess/ They lost two towers.
Today my EX got trampled by a bunch of horse and sadly I lost my job as a horse trainer.
Why did Steven hawking die? He lost wifi connection and don’t get the data plan.
A guy goes to Starbucks and asks”Hey, if I can make you laugh I don’t have to pay.”The girl in the window says,”ok.”The guys says,”A little boy named Timmy lost his arms.”The girl says,” oh no!”The guy says”and his dad left him when he was 4.”The girl says “uhh yeah.” The guy says”Ok,I guess I’ll be paying then” The girl asks”Ok, And what name will that be under?”The guy says”Timmy,I’m Timmy.”
Did you hear about the fire in the shoe factory? Many soles were lost.
As I get older, I remember all the people I lost along the way. Maybe a career as a tour guide was not the right choice.
Two atoms are walking down the street and they run in to each other. One says to the other, “Are you all right?” “No, I lost an electron!” “Are you sure?” “Yeah, I’m positive!”
Where did the cat go when it lost it’s tail? – To the retail store!
RUS | ENG
