Today I learned that a group of piranhas can maul a small child down to the bone in under 20 seconds. Well I lost my job at the aquarium today.
A fully grown bull Great White Shark is 15 feet long and can open its jaws open up to 1.2 meters long. It could eat a small child in seconds. Anyways, I lost my job at the aquarium…
A man in conversation with his friend says that his wife is on a 3-week diet. The friend curiously asks, how much has she lost? The man replies, “her life.”
As I get older, I remember all the people I lost along the way. Maybe a career as a tour guide was not the right choice.
Why are Americans bad chess players? They lost two towers.
A guy goes to Starbucks and asks”Hey, if I can make you laugh I don’t have to pay.”The girl in the window says,”ok.”The guys says,”A little boy named Timmy lost his arms.”The girl says,” oh no!”The guy says”and his dad left him when he was 4.”The girl says “uhh yeah.” The guy says”Ok,I guess I’ll be paying then” The girl asks”Ok, And what name will that be under?”The guy says”Timmy,I’m Timmy.”
Why did Steven hawking die? He lost wifi connection and don’t get the data plan.
A man lost his toe when he dropped a knife on it: Doctor: I have good news and bad news Guy" Whats the bad news Doc: They replaced your toe with a piece of candy Guy: Good news? Doc: You now have tic tac toe
Why couldn’t the dairy farmer find his home ? He lost the whey!??
Why does Spiderman only have 11 months in his calendar Because he Lost May!!
Stephen Hawking died because he accidentaly lost his bluetooth connection
I tried to sue the airport for misplacing my luggage. – I lost my case.
What dose an Orphan and a lost kid have in comen. They have no way home
i just found out my ex got stabbed today…lets just say i lost my job as a butcher
What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? -Where’e my tractor?!
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