i just found out my ex got stabbed today…lets just say i lost my job as a butcher
I used to be a banker but I lost interest… Why was Cinderella thrown off the basketball team? She always ran away from the ball. Why can’t bikes stand? Because they are two tired (Too tired)
You know a parana can devour a small child in 30 seconds Any way I lost my job at the aquarium today
A fully grown bull Great White Shark is 15 feet long and can open its jaws open up to 1.2 meters long. It could eat a small child in seconds. Anyways, I lost my job at the aquarium…
One night, I saw a woman sitting behind a dumpster. So I took her home. We talked all the way there. When we got home, I gave her a bath. Later on, things started getting passionate. We started doing intercourse, and some of the noises she made you would have thought she was still alive! My girlfriend dumped me, so I stole her wheelchair Guess who came crawling back
Location is in London by the way. One day a fatass came home and told his friend that he lost money. His friend, “Oh for once you lost some pounds!”
Where did the cat go when it lost it’s tail? – To the retail store!
Chris Rock: Jada I can’t wait to see you in G.I Jane 2! Fresh Prince of Bel-Air theme song starts playing: Will: I got in one lil fight about my wife’s lost hair, she said,‘’ Will if you don’t do something I’m gonna have an affair!‘’ ??????
I lost a race with a handicapped person today. The problem was the race was all stairs. Gravity sure is fast
A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette were all lost in the desert. They found a lamp and rubbed it. A genie popped out and granted them each one wish. The redhead wished to be back home. Poof! She was back home. The brunette wished to be at home with her family. Poof! She was back home with her family. The blonde said, “Awwww, I wish my friends were here.”
Your forehead is so big, Megamind though he was your long lost sibling. (me)
what was the name of the Mexican that lost his car? Carlos
I tried to sue the airline for losing my luggage. I lost my case.
“You look like you’ve lost some weight.” “Really? Well, whatever weight I lost, you found it, pal!”
Looks like I lost an electron, I should keep a better ion them.
RUS | ENG