I tried to find my watch I lost last week but I didn’t have the time
Where did Joe go after getting lost on the mine field? Everywhere.
Today was a bad day. First My ex got hit by a bus. Then I lost my job as a bus driver
A guy goes to Starbucks and asks”Hey, if I can make you laugh I don’t have to pay.”The girl in the window says,”ok.”The guys says,”A little boy named Timmy lost his arms.”The girl says,” oh no!”The guy says”and his dad left him when he was 4.”The girl says “uhh yeah.” The guy says”Ok,I guess I’ll be paying then” The girl asks”Ok, And what name will that be under?”The guy says”Timmy,I’m Timmy.”
I tried to sue the airline for losing my luggage. I lost my case.
One night, I saw a woman sitting behind a dumpster. So I took her home. We talked all the way there. When we got home, I gave her a bath. Later on, things started getting passionate. We started doing intercourse, and some of the noises she made you would have thought she was still alive! My girlfriend dumped me, so I stole her wheelchair Guess who came crawling back
What do you call a Mexican who lost his car? Carlos.
Your forehead is so big, Megamind though he was your long lost sibling. (me)
I lost my job at the bank on my very first day. – A woman asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her over.
What do you call a magician who has lost their magic? Ian.
Where did the cat go when it lost it’s tail? – To the retail store!
what do u call a mexican who’s lost his car carlos
How did Stephen Hawking Die, He lost WiFi Connection.
Today I learned that a group of piranhas can maul a small child down to the bone in under 20 seconds. Well I lost my job at the aquarium today.
Three men are travelling through the desert when their single camel dies. They walk for a while but then it becomes night. Desperate for shelter, suddenly they stumble across a tent and inside is three beautiful women. The men were not only lost but horny too so they begin to have sex with the women. But the tent belongs to a prince and these three women were his wives so he is very angry when he arrives an hour later and sees three strangers having sex with his wives. He tells the three men he will chop off their penises as punishment, in some way relating to their job. He asks the first man what his job is: The guy says, "I’m a fireman" The prince says, "Then we’ll burn your dick off!" The second guy says, "I’m an employee at the shooting range" The prince says, "Then we’ll shoot your dick off! " The third guy smiles and says, "I’m a lollipop salesman
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