Today I learned that a group of piranhas can maul a small child down to the bone in under 20 seconds. Well I lost my job at the aquarium today.
Yo mama’s so stupid, when I told her that she lost her mind, she went looking for it
As I get older, I remember all the people I lost along the way. Maybe a career as a tour guide was not the right choice.
How did Stephen Hawking Die, He lost WiFi Connection.
Why does Spiderman only have 11 months in his calendar Because he Lost May!!
i just found out my ex got stabbed today…lets just say i lost my job as a butcher
How do you know that the U.S. suck at chess/ They lost two towers.
I lost a race with a handicapped person today. The problem was the race was all stairs. Gravity sure is fast
roses are red my blood is too i see a lot when i lost u
“why did the Carthaginian say Rome lost the war? -because they were just roman around”
I used to be a banker but I lost interest… Why was Cinderella thrown off the basketball team? She always ran away from the ball. Why can’t bikes stand? Because they are two tired (Too tired)
A guy goes to Starbucks and asks”Hey, if I can make you laugh I don’t have to pay.”The girl in the window says,”ok.”The guys says,”A little boy named Timmy lost his arms.”The girl says,” oh no!”The guy says”and his dad left him when he was 4.”The girl says “uhh yeah.” The guy says”Ok,I guess I’ll be paying then” The girl asks”Ok, And what name will that be under?”The guy says”Timmy,I’m Timmy.”
One night, I saw a woman sitting behind a dumpster. So I took her home. We talked all the way there. When we got home, I gave her a bath. Later on, things started getting passionate. We started doing intercourse, and some of the noises she made you would have thought she was still alive! My girlfriend dumped me, so I stole her wheelchair Guess who came crawling back
What do you call a magician who has lost their magic? Ian.
What do you call a Mexican who lost his car? Carlos.
RUS | ENG
