Two atom soldiers are fighting against an army. One gets shot. He cried out, im hit! I think I’ve lost an electron! Are you sure? Asks the other. Im positive! This one as actually physics(unlike some other joke here, ahem cough cough)
Where did the cat go when it lost it’s tail? – To the retail store!
My cousin: Brother I lost in a game of Call of Duty: Moe Bill [he was supposed to pronounce it as mobile however I left it as it is] Me: so tell me about it then. My cousin: I lost to Sum_Baldi Me: somebody? Don’t they have like the name of you opponents? My cousin: no no no the name was Sum_Baldi. S.U.M_B.A.L.D.I Me: Ok my bad. Continue My cousin: I got Sum_Baldi and 5 seconds later I got kill but [by] Sum_Fing_Wong. Me: it’s not wrong! In call of duty, you are suppose to kill or be killed. My cousin: no no no the name was Sum_Fing_Wong. S.U.M_F.I.N.G_W.O.N.G Me: my bad again. Do continue. My cousin: I got so angry I blowup Me: so you got blowed up, by what weapon? My cousin: by the game. Me: [was not expecting that for an answer]
I lost my job at the bank on my very first day. – A woman asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her over.
A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette were all lost in the desert. They found a lamp and rubbed it. A genie popped out and granted them each one wish. The redhead wished to be back home. Poof! She was back home. The brunette wished to be at home with her family. Poof! She was back home with her family. The blonde said, “Awwww, I wish my friends were here.”
Today I learned that a group of piranhas can maul a small child down to the bone in under 20 seconds. Well I lost my job at the aquarium today.
A guy goes to Starbucks and asks”Hey, if I can make you laugh I don’t have to pay.”The girl in the window says,”ok.”The guys says,”A little boy named Timmy lost his arms.”The girl says,” oh no!”The guy says”and his dad left him when he was 4.”The girl says “uhh yeah.” The guy says”Ok,I guess I’ll be paying then” The girl asks”Ok, And what name will that be under?”The guy says”Timmy,I’m Timmy.”
Today my EX got trampled by a bunch of horse and sadly I lost my job as a horse trainer.
I tried to sue the airport for misplacing my luggage. – I lost my case.
when the quiet kid lost a game of basket ball and reaches in to his bag other people in gym: oh shit this nigga bouta shot
what was the name of the Mexican that lost his car? Carlos
Today was a bad day. First My ex got hit by a bus. Then I lost my job as a bus driver
How did Stephen Hawking Die, He lost WiFi Connection.
My Mum texted me she had lost her phone
A man in conversation with his friend says that his wife is on a 3-week diet. The friend curiously asks, how much has she lost? The man replies, “her life.”
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