As I get older, I remember all the people I lost along the way. Maybe a career as a tour guide was not the right choice.
Today was a terrible day. My wife got hit by a bus, and I lost my job as a bus driver
A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette were all lost in the desert. They found a lamp and rubbed it. A genie popped out and granted them each one wish. The redhead wished to be back home. Poof! She was back home. The brunette wished to be at home with her family. Poof! She was back home with her family. The blonde said, “Awwww, I wish my friends were here.”
“why did the Carthaginian say Rome lost the war? -because they were just roman around”
“You look like you’ve lost some weight.” “Really? Well, whatever weight I lost, you found it, pal!”
A woman gets rid of polish with chemicals and no one bats an eye The Germans got rid of polish with chemicals and everyone lost their mind
Where did the cat go when it lost it’s tail? – To the retail store!
What do you call a magician who has lost their magic? Ian.
A fully grown bull Great White Shark is 15 feet long and can open its jaws open up to 1.2 meters long. It could eat a small child in seconds. Anyways, I lost my job at the aquarium…
Why does Spiderman only have 11 months in his calendar Because he Lost May!!
Did you hear about the fire in the shoe factory? Many soles were lost.
I always sucked at mazes. I found myself lost over and over again but if life is a labyrinth, I’d always find the escape. The final dead end, my personal favourite…
what is a orphans favorite song. lost boy
I used to be a banker but I lost interest… Why was Cinderella thrown off the basketball team? She always ran away from the ball. Why can’t bikes stand? Because they are two tired (Too tired)
A man from France, a man from Britain, and a man from New York are on an exposition to the Amazon Forest. After a while they get lost. So as they are walking suddenly the bushes jump up into the air and men with spears are there. One man says "Hey, your in our sacred land. So what we are going to do is skin you and then use your flesh to make canoes. But we aren’t that crazy so we will let you choose how you die." The man from France said, "bring me the poison." The man from Britain said, "bring me the gun" And the man from New York said, "bring me a fork" The guy was confused with the fork but still brought it the items and gave it to them. The guy from France said, “for the France!” And drank the poison and died. The man from Britain said, “long live the queen!” And shot himself and died. And the man from New York started stabbing himself with the fork and said “MAKE A CANOE OUT OF THIS YOU f@ckERS”
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