I lost my drivers license today i hit my ex with my car
I tried to find my watch I lost last week but I didn’t have the time
I lost at Kahoot so I had to ka-shoot
Why are Americans bad chess players? They lost two towers.
Today was a terrible day. My wife got hit by a bus, and I lost my job as a bus driver
A little kid was lost and he asked me to find his home, I love working at the orphanage
what was the name of the Mexican that lost his car? Carlos
I used to be a banker but I lost interest… Why was Cinderella thrown off the basketball team? She always ran away from the ball. Why can’t bikes stand? Because they are two tired (Too tired)
What do you call a lost indian women? Ms Singh
Looks like I lost an electron, I should keep a better ion them.
Today was a bad day. First My ex got hit by a bus. Then I lost my job as a bus driver
A man from France, a man from Britain, and a man from New York are on an exposition to the Amazon Forest. After a while they get lost. So as they are walking suddenly the bushes jump up into the air and men with spears are there. One man says "Hey, your in our sacred land. So what we are going to do is skin you and then use your flesh to make canoes. But we aren’t that crazy so we will let you choose how you die." The man from France said, "bring me the poison." The man from Britain said, "bring me the gun" And the man from New York said, "bring me a fork" The guy was confused with the fork but still brought it the items and gave it to them. The guy from France said, “for the France!” And drank the poison and died. The man from Britain said, “long live the queen!” And shot himself and died. And the man from New York started stabbing himself with the fork and said “MAKE A CANOE OUT OF THIS YOU f@ckERS”
You know a parana can devour a small child in 30 seconds Any way I lost my job at the aquarium today
Three men are travelling through the desert when their single camel dies. They walk for a while but then it becomes night. Desperate for shelter, suddenly they stumble across a tent and inside is three beautiful women. The men were not only lost but horny too so they begin to have sex with the women. But the tent belongs to a prince and these three women were his wives so he is very angry when he arrives an hour later and sees three strangers having sex with his wives. He tells the three men he will chop off their penises as punishment, in some way relating to their job. He asks the first man what his job is: The guy says, "I’m a fireman" The prince says, "Then we’ll burn your dick off!" The second guy says, "I’m an employee at the shooting range" The prince says, "Then we’ll shoot your dick off! " The third guy smiles and says, "I’m a lollipop salesman
when the quiet kid lost a game of basket ball and reaches in to his bag other people in gym: oh shit this nigga bouta shot
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