Your forehead is so big, Megamind though he was your long lost sibling. (me)
Why does Spider-Man only have 11 months? He lost may.
Why does Spiderman only have 11 months in his calendar Because he Lost May!!
My Mum texted me she had lost her phone
My dad is like my virginity. I lost him at 12
I used to be a banker but I lost interest… Why was Cinderella thrown off the basketball team? She always ran away from the ball. Why can’t bikes stand? Because they are two tired (Too tired)
whats one thing youll never find in lost and found? your dad
What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? -Where’e my tractor?!
i just found out my ex got stabbed today…lets just say i lost my job as a butcher
What dose an Orphan and a lost kid have in comen. They have no way home
One night, I saw a woman sitting behind a dumpster. So I took her home. We talked all the way there. When we got home, I gave her a bath. Later on, things started getting passionate. We started doing intercourse, and some of the noises she made you would have thought she was still alive! My girlfriend dumped me, so I stole her wheelchair Guess who came crawling back
A woman gets rid of polish with chemicals and no one bats an eye The Germans got rid of polish with chemicals and everyone lost their mind
Three men are travelling through the desert when their single camel dies. They walk for a while but then it becomes night. Desperate for shelter, suddenly they stumble across a tent and inside is three beautiful women. The men were not only lost but horny too so they begin to have sex with the women. But the tent belongs to a prince and these three women were his wives so he is very angry when he arrives an hour later and sees three strangers having sex with his wives. He tells the three men he will chop off their penises as punishment, in some way relating to their job. He asks the first man what his job is: The guy says, "I’m a fireman" The prince says, "Then we’ll burn your dick off!" The second guy says, "I’m an employee at the shooting range" The prince says, "Then we’ll shoot your dick off! " The third guy smiles and says, "I’m a lollipop salesman
“You look like you’ve lost some weight.” “Really? Well, whatever weight I lost, you found it, pal!”
I lost my black friend in the shadows. I lost my white friend on the wall. I lost my Asian friend in the sand and I lost my Islamic friend in the bombings.
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