i just found out my ex got stabbed today…lets just say i lost my job as a butcher
Why does Spiderman only have 11 months in his calendar Because he Lost May!!
A man lost his toe when he dropped a knife on it: Doctor: I have good news and bad news Guy" Whats the bad news Doc: They replaced your toe with a piece of candy Guy: Good news? Doc: You now have tic tac toe
sans:why was the skeleton depressed? because frisk keeps reseting and it resets when he lost his phone
You know a parana can devour a small child in 30 seconds Any way I lost my job at the aquarium today
A guy goes to Starbucks and asks”Hey, if I can make you laugh I don’t have to pay.”The girl in the window says,”ok.”The guys says,”A little boy named Timmy lost his arms.”The girl says,” oh no!”The guy says”and his dad left him when he was 4.”The girl says “uhh yeah.” The guy says”Ok,I guess I’ll be paying then” The girl asks”Ok, And what name will that be under?”The guy says”Timmy,I’m Timmy.”
What do you call a magician who has lost their magic? Ian.
Stephen Hawking died because he accidentaly lost his bluetooth connection
A blonde and a redhead have a ranch. They have just lost their bull. The women need to buy another, but only have $500. The redhead tells the blonde, “I will go to the market and see if I can find one for under that amount. If I can, I will send you a telegram.” She goes to the market and finds one for $499. Having only one dollar left, she goes to the telegraph office and finds out that it costs one dollar per word. She is stumped on how to tell the blonde to bring the truck and trailer. Finally, she tells the telegraph operator to send the word “comfortable.” Skeptical, the operator asks, “How will she know to come with the trailer from just that word? ” The redhead replies, “She’s a blonde so she reads slow: ‘Come for ta bull.’”
Location is in London by the way. One day a fatass came home and told his friend that he lost money. His friend, “Oh for once you lost some pounds!”
Today my EX got trampled by a bunch of horse and sadly I lost my job as a horse trainer.
when the quiet kid lost a game of basket ball and reaches in to his bag other people in gym: oh shit this nigga bouta shot
A man in conversation with his friend says that his wife is on a 3-week diet. The friend curiously asks, how much has she lost? The man replies, “her life.”
My dad is like my virginity. I lost him at 12
why did stephen hawkins die he lost internet connections
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