A guy goes to Starbucks and asks”Hey, if I can make you laugh I don’t have to pay.”The girl in the window says,”ok.”The guys says,”A little boy named Timmy lost his arms.”The girl says,” oh no!”The guy says”and his dad left him when he was 4.”The girl says “uhh yeah.” The guy says”Ok,I guess I’ll be paying then” The girl asks”Ok, And what name will that be under?”The guy says”Timmy,I’m Timmy.”
A blonde and a redhead have a ranch. They have just lost their bull. The women need to buy another, but only have $500. The redhead tells the blonde, “I will go to the market and see if I can find one for under that amount. If I can, I will send you a telegram.” She goes to the market and finds one for $499. Having only one dollar left, she goes to the telegraph office and finds out that it costs one dollar per word. She is stumped on how to tell the blonde to bring the truck and trailer. Finally, she tells the telegraph operator to send the word “comfortable.” Skeptical, the operator asks, “How will she know to come with the trailer from just that word? ” The redhead replies, “She’s a blonde so she reads slow: ‘Come for ta bull.’”
Why did Steven hawking die? He lost wifi connection and don’t get the data plan.
Today my EX got trampled by a bunch of horse and sadly I lost my job as a horse trainer.
My ex girlfriend got hit by a bus. I also lost my bus drivers licence.
I tried to sue the airport for misplacing my luggage. – I lost my case.
Why couldn’t the dairy farmer find his home ? He lost the whey!??
I lost my drivers license today i hit my ex with my car
what do u call a mexican who’s lost his car carlos
“You look like you’ve lost some weight.” “Really? Well, whatever weight I lost, you found it, pal!”
Where did Suzy go after getting lost on a minefield? Everywhere
I lost a race with a handicapped person today. The problem was the race was all stairs. Gravity sure is fast
Your forehead is so big, Megamind though he was your long lost sibling. (me)
You know a parana can devour a small child in 30 seconds Any way I lost my job at the aquarium today
One night, I saw a woman sitting behind a dumpster. So I took her home. We talked all the way there. When we got home, I gave her a bath. Later on, things started getting passionate. We started doing intercourse, and some of the noises she made you would have thought she was still alive! My girlfriend dumped me, so I stole her wheelchair Guess who came crawling back
RUS | ENG
