A blonde and a redhead have a ranch. They have just lost their bull. The women need to buy another, but only have $500. The redhead tells the blonde, “I will go to the market and see if I can find one for under that amount. If I can, I will send you a telegram.” She goes to the market and finds one for $499. Having only one dollar left, she goes to the telegraph office and finds out that it costs one dollar per word. She is stumped on how to tell the blonde to bring the truck and trailer. Finally, she tells the telegraph operator to send the word “comfortable.” Skeptical, the operator asks, “How will she know to come with the trailer from just that word? ” The redhead replies, “She’s a blonde so she reads slow: ‘Come for ta bull.’”
Today was a bad day. First My ex got hit by a bus. Then I lost my job as a bus driver
I lost my black friend in the shadows. I lost my white friend on the wall. I lost my Asian friend in the sand and I lost my Islamic friend in the bombings.
Why does Spider-Man only have 11 months? He lost may.
I tried to sue the airline for losing my luggage. I lost my case.
Two atoms are walking down the street and they run in to each other. One says to the other, “Are you all right?” “No, I lost an electron!” “Are you sure?” “Yeah, I’m positive!”
What do you call a magician who has lost their magic? Ian.
So you know those people that commit suicide by hanging them selves I guess they lost Hangman
Stephen Hawking died because he accidentaly lost his bluetooth connection
Why couldn’t the dairy farmer find his home ? He lost the whey!??
Today was the worst day ever! My brother got run over, and I lost my driver’s license!
what was the name of the Mexican that lost his car? Carlos
What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where’s my tractor?
A guy goes to Starbucks and asks”Hey, if I can make you laugh I don’t have to pay.”The girl in the window says,”ok.”The guys says,”A little boy named Timmy lost his arms.”The girl says,” oh no!”The guy says”and his dad left him when he was 4.”The girl says “uhh yeah.” The guy says”Ok,I guess I’ll be paying then” The girl asks”Ok, And what name will that be under?”The guy says”Timmy,I’m Timmy.”
A man in conversation with his friend says that his wife is on a 3-week diet. The friend curiously asks, how much has she lost? The man replies, “her life.”
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