I tried to find my watch I lost last week but I didn’t have the time
i just found out my ex got stabbed today…lets just say i lost my job as a butcher
My girlfriend got ran over by a bus I lost my job as a bus driver.
“You look like you’ve lost some weight.” “Really? Well, whatever weight I lost, you found it, pal!”
So you know those people that commit suicide by hanging them selves I guess they lost Hangman
whats one thing youll never find in lost and found? your dad
Yo mama so fat i stood next to her and lost cell phone reception
Today I learned that a group of piranhas can maul a small child down to the bone in under 20 seconds. Well I lost my job at the aquarium today.
A man in conversation with his friend says that his wife is on a 3-week diet. The friend curiously asks, how much has she lost? The man replies, “her life.”
Why don’t orphans like to get lost?? Because somebody’s going to ask where their parents are. There was an American wrestler from Texas named John, who throughout his high school career had never lost a match. As he went on into college he continued undefeated. He became a national icon and symbol of American strength. News began to circulate of a Russian
My dad is like my virginity. I lost him at 12
One night, I saw a woman sitting behind a dumpster. So I took her home. We talked all the way there. When we got home, I gave her a bath. Later on, things started getting passionate. We started doing intercourse, and some of the noises she made you would have thought she was still alive! My girlfriend dumped me, so I stole her wheelchair Guess who came crawling back
Where did Joe go after getting lost on the mine field? Everywhere.
What do you call a magician who has lost their magic? Ian.
As I get older, I remember all the people I lost along the way. Maybe a career as a tour guide was not the right choice.
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