Looks like I lost an electron, I should keep a better ion them.
A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette were all lost in the desert. They found a lamp and rubbed it. A genie popped out and granted them each one wish. The redhead wished to be back home. Poof! She was back home. The brunette wished to be at home with her family. Poof! She was back home with her family. The blonde said, “Awwww, I wish my friends were here.”
Yo mama’s so stupid, when I told her that she lost her mind, she went looking for it
Three men are travelling through the desert when their single camel dies. They walk for a while but then it becomes night. Desperate for shelter, suddenly they stumble across a tent and inside is three beautiful women. The men were not only lost but horny too so they begin to have sex with the women. But the tent belongs to a prince and these three women were his wives so he is very angry when he arrives an hour later and sees three strangers having sex with his wives. He tells the three men he will chop off their penises as punishment, in some way relating to their job. He asks the first man what his job is: The guy says, "I’m a fireman" The prince says, "Then we’ll burn your dick off!" The second guy says, "I’m an employee at the shooting range" The prince says, "Then we’ll shoot your dick off! " The third guy smiles and says, "I’m a lollipop salesman
Why do Americans suck at chess… because they lost two towers Me: I have lost it. Random: Lost what? Me: My will to live.
What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? -Where’e my tractor?!
My Mum texted me she had lost her phone
Why don’t orphans like to get lost?? Because somebody’s going to ask where their parents are. There was an American wrestler from Texas named John, who throughout his high school career had never lost a match. As he went on into college he continued undefeated. He became a national icon and symbol of American strength. News began to circulate of a Russian
A woman gets rid of polish with chemicals and no one bats an eye The Germans got rid of polish with chemicals and everyone lost their mind
“You look like you’ve lost some weight.” “Really? Well, whatever weight I lost, you found it, pal!”
A fully grown bull Great White Shark is 15 feet long and can open its jaws open up to 1.2 meters long. It could eat a small child in seconds. Anyways, I lost my job at the aquarium…
I lost a race with a handicapped person today. The problem was the race was all stairs. Gravity sure is fast
Yo mama so fat i stood next to her and lost cell phone reception
Why does us suck at chess? we lost both our towers. Why is england so good at chess? they still have their queen. Why does russia suck at chess? they only have pawns
Why do the japanese hate Christmas??? Becasue the last time a Fat Man came down the chimney, they lost half their population
RUS | ENG
