Today was the worst day ever! My brother got run over, and I lost my driver’s license!
I lost a race with a handicapped person today. The problem was the race was all stairs. Gravity sure is fast
What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where’s my tractor?
Two atoms are walking down the street and they run in to each other. One says to the other, “Are you all right?” “No, I lost an electron!” “Are you sure?” “Yeah, I’m positive!”
Where did Suzy go after getting lost on a minefield? Everywhere
I lost my black friend in the shadows. I lost my white friend on the wall. I lost my Asian friend in the sand and I lost my Islamic friend in the bombings.
My ex girlfriend got hit by a bus. I also lost my bus drivers licence.
A little kid was lost and he asked me to find his home, I love working at the orphanage
A man lost his toe when he dropped a knife on it: Doctor: I have good news and bad news Guy" Whats the bad news Doc: They replaced your toe with a piece of candy Guy: Good news? Doc: You now have tic tac toe
My dad is like my virginity. I lost him at 12
An orphan walks into a supermarket, gets lost calls for his mum then remembers
My Mum texted me she had lost her phone
Location is in London by the way. One day a fatass came home and told his friend that he lost money. His friend, “Oh for once you lost some pounds!”
A man in conversation with his friend says that his wife is on a 3-week diet. The friend curiously asks, how much has she lost? The man replies, “her life.”
Why couldn’t the dairy farmer find his home ? He lost the whey!??
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