Lost jokes

A man in conversation with his friend says that his wife is on a 3-week diet. The friend curiously asks, how much has she lost? The man replies, “her life.”

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

How did Stephen Hawking Die, He lost WiFi Connection.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2

I lost my drivers license today i hit my ex with my car

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

You know a parana can devour a small child in 30 seconds Any way I lost my job at the aquarium today

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

Stephen Hawking died because he accidentaly lost his bluetooth connection

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

Yo mama so fat i stood next to her and lost cell phone reception

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

Today was the worst day ever! My brother got run over, and I lost my driver’s license!

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

Where did Suzy go after getting lost on a minefield? Everywhere

-2 -1 0 +1 +2

Two atom soldiers are fighting against an army. One gets shot. He cried out, im hit! I think I’ve lost an electron! Are you sure? Asks the other. Im positive! This one as actually physics(unlike some other joke here, ahem cough cough)

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

I lost my job at the bank on my very first day. – A woman asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her over.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

I tried to find my watch I lost last week but I didn’t have the time

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

My cousin: Brother I lost in a game of Call of Duty: Moe Bill [he was supposed to pronounce it as mobile however I left it as it is] Me: so tell me about it then. My cousin: I lost to Sum_Baldi Me: somebody? Don’t they have like the name of you opponents? My cousin: no no no the name was Sum_Baldi. S.U.M_B.A.L.D.I Me: Ok my bad. Continue My cousin: I got Sum_Baldi and 5 seconds later I got kill but [by] Sum_Fing_Wong. Me: it’s not wrong! In call of duty, you are suppose to kill or be killed. My cousin: no no no the name was Sum_Fing_Wong. S.U.M_F.I.N.G_W.O.N.G Me: my bad again. Do continue. My cousin: I got so angry I blowup Me: so you got blowed up, by what weapon? My cousin: by the game. Me: [was not expecting that for an answer]

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

I tried to sue the airline for losing my luggage. I lost my case.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

Chris Rock: Jada I can’t wait to see you in G.I Jane 2! Fresh Prince of Bel-Air theme song starts playing: Will: I got in one lil fight about my wife’s lost hair, she said,‘’ Will if you don’t do something I’m gonna have an affair!‘’ ??????

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

What do you call a Mexican who lost his car? Carlos.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *
- up - << N E X T! >> random

© àíåêäîòîâ.net, 1997 - 2025