I tried to sue the airport for misplacing my luggage. – I lost my case.
“You look like you’ve lost some weight.” “Really? Well, whatever weight I lost, you found it, pal!”
As I get older, I remember all the people I lost along the way. Maybe a career as a tour guide was not the right choice.
I lost my job at the bank on my very first day. – A woman asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her over.
Two atom soldiers are fighting against an army. One gets shot. He cried out, im hit! I think I’ve lost an electron! Are you sure? Asks the other. Im positive! This one as actually physics(unlike some other joke here, ahem cough cough)
Today I learned that a group of piranhas can maul a small child down to the bone in under 20 seconds. Well I lost my job at the aquarium today.
What do you call a lost indian women? Ms Singh
Why does Spiderman only have 11 months in his calendar Because he Lost May!!
Why do the japanese hate Christmas??? Becasue the last time a Fat Man came down the chimney, they lost half their population
A woman gets rid of polish with chemicals and no one bats an eye The Germans got rid of polish with chemicals and everyone lost their mind
“why did the Carthaginian say Rome lost the war? -because they were just roman around”
I lost my drivers license today i hit my ex with my car
Why do Americans suck at chess… because they lost two towers Me: I have lost it. Random: Lost what? Me: My will to live.
How do you know that the U.S. suck at chess/ They lost two towers.
One night, I saw a woman sitting behind a dumpster. So I took her home. We talked all the way there. When we got home, I gave her a bath. Later on, things started getting passionate. We started doing intercourse, and some of the noises she made you would have thought she was still alive! My girlfriend dumped me, so I stole her wheelchair Guess who came crawling back
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