One night, I saw a woman sitting behind a dumpster. So I took her home. We talked all the way there. When we got home, I gave her a bath. Later on, things started getting passionate. We started doing intercourse, and some of the noises she made you would have thought she was still alive! My girlfriend dumped me, so I stole her wheelchair Guess who came crawling back
Why do Americans suck at chess… because they lost two towers Me: I have lost it. Random: Lost what? Me: My will to live.
My girlfriend got ran over by a bus I lost my job as a bus driver.
Three men are travelling through the desert when their single camel dies. They walk for a while but then it becomes night. Desperate for shelter, suddenly they stumble across a tent and inside is three beautiful women. The men were not only lost but horny too so they begin to have sex with the women. But the tent belongs to a prince and these three women were his wives so he is very angry when he arrives an hour later and sees three strangers having sex with his wives. He tells the three men he will chop off their penises as punishment, in some way relating to their job. He asks the first man what his job is: The guy says, "I’m a fireman" The prince says, "Then we’ll burn your dick off!" The second guy says, "I’m an employee at the shooting range" The prince says, "Then we’ll shoot your dick off! " The third guy smiles and says, "I’m a lollipop salesman
Why couldn’t the dairy farmer find his home ? He lost the whey!??
“why did the Carthaginian say Rome lost the war? -because they were just roman around”
Where did the cat go when it lost it’s tail? – To the retail store!
Today was the worst day ever! My brother got run over, and I lost my driver’s license!
why did stephen hawkins die he lost internet connections
I lost my black friend in the shadows. I lost my white friend on the wall. I lost my Asian friend in the sand and I lost my Islamic friend in the bombings.
Today was a terrible day. My wife got hit by a bus, and I lost my job as a bus driver
Chris Rock: Jada I can’t wait to see you in G.I Jane 2! Fresh Prince of Bel-Air theme song starts playing: Will: I got in one lil fight about my wife’s lost hair, she said,‘’ Will if you don’t do something I’m gonna have an affair!‘’ ??????
i just found out my ex got stabbed today…lets just say i lost my job as a butcher
Why do the japanese hate Christmas??? Becasue the last time a Fat Man came down the chimney, they lost half their population
Yo mama so fat i stood next to her and lost cell phone reception
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