A fully grown bull Great White Shark is 15 feet long and can open its jaws open up to 1.2 meters long. It could eat a small child in seconds. Anyways, I lost my job at the aquarium…
Why couldn’t the dairy farmer find his home ? He lost the whey!??
I always sucked at mazes. I found myself lost over and over again but if life is a labyrinth, I’d always find the escape. The final dead end, my personal favourite…
“You look like you’ve lost some weight.” “Really? Well, whatever weight I lost, you found it, pal!”
Location is in London by the way. One day a fatass came home and told his friend that he lost money. His friend, “Oh for once you lost some pounds!”
whats one thing youll never find in lost and found? your dad
Three men are travelling through the desert when their single camel dies. They walk for a while but then it becomes night. Desperate for shelter, suddenly they stumble across a tent and inside is three beautiful women. The men were not only lost but horny too so they begin to have sex with the women. But the tent belongs to a prince and these three women were his wives so he is very angry when he arrives an hour later and sees three strangers having sex with his wives. He tells the three men he will chop off their penises as punishment, in some way relating to their job. He asks the first man what his job is: The guy says, "I’m a fireman" The prince says, "Then we’ll burn your dick off!" The second guy says, "I’m an employee at the shooting range" The prince says, "Then we’ll shoot your dick off! " The third guy smiles and says, "I’m a lollipop salesman
I tried to sue the airline for losing my luggage. I lost my case.
How do you know that the U.S. suck at chess/ They lost two towers.
My girlfriend got ran over by a bus I lost my job as a bus driver.
What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where’s my tractor?
Why do the japanese hate Christmas??? Becasue the last time a Fat Man came down the chimney, they lost half their population
Why is the USA bad a at clash Royale?, cause they already lost two towers
A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette were all lost in the desert. They found a lamp and rubbed it. A genie popped out and granted them each one wish. The redhead wished to be back home. Poof! She was back home. The brunette wished to be at home with her family. Poof! She was back home with her family. The blonde said, “Awwww, I wish my friends were here.”
A blonde and a redhead have a ranch. They have just lost their bull. The women need to buy another, but only have $500. The redhead tells the blonde, “I will go to the market and see if I can find one for under that amount. If I can, I will send you a telegram.” She goes to the market and finds one for $499. Having only one dollar left, she goes to the telegraph office and finds out that it costs one dollar per word. She is stumped on how to tell the blonde to bring the truck and trailer. Finally, she tells the telegraph operator to send the word “comfortable.” Skeptical, the operator asks, “How will she know to come with the trailer from just that word? ” The redhead replies, “She’s a blonde so she reads slow: ‘Come for ta bull.’”
RUS | ENG
