Nut jokes

A pirate walks into a bar and has a ship’s wheel in his pants. The bartender asks, “What’s with the wheel in your pants?” The pirate replies, “Yarrr! It’s drivin’ me nuts!”

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%% %%Do you ate chef boyardee’s food? No, why? Boy are deez nuts so big

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What do you call a vegan slut…? A garden Ho…!

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Why did the squirrel swim on his back? keep his nuts dry.

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I asked my doctor if it was normal for one of my nuts to be bigger than the other two.

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have you seen the xbox game sea of thieves?sea if these nuts fit on yo mouth

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Yo girl…do you like squirrels, because i’m about to nut in your hole

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have you heard of the… uh Pokemon called uh rhy… rhy rhydon deez nuts

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a girl asked ?can i have some nuts too?? boy: ?sure what ones;)?

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when I throw a dodge ball at a person taller than its always a nut shot

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My puns drive people nuts, this is usually when I bolt away

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I nutted on the wall, call that a walnut.

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my best friend got ligma (ah did he, sorry bro) LIGMA BALLS

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The popular girl told me "I bet your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory!" Two weeks later, She shows up pregnant. … I guess her rubber broke too

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