Nut jokes

What falls and never gets hurt? Snow

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You heard that Michael Jackson autopsy reports showed he died of food poisoning? It’s because he ate some 8 year old nuts.

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What do you call a nut on a Wheelchair?..a busted nut.

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Do you like Wendy’s? Yeah Wendy’s nuts finna go in your mouth

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The popular girl told me "I bet your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory!" Two weeks later, She shows up pregnant. … I guess her rubber broke too

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Ow! you hit the spot!

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Nutted in my shoes, now my kids are taking a walk.

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What did one nut say to the other? Ignore the guy in the middle. He’s a d!ck.

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A man walks into a bar. Sits down and asks the bartender for 12 shots of vodka. The bartender asks what the man is celebrating for and said he’ll give one shot on the house. The man said I celebrating my first blowjob. And nah if 12 shots doesn’t get the taste out of my mouth nothing will.

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can i put deez nuts in yo cluts?

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have you heard of the… uh Pokemon called uh rhy… rhy rhydon deez nuts

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%% %%Do you ate chef boyardee’s food? No, why? Boy are deez nuts so big

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They say during sex you burn offas many calories as running 8 miles. Who the f@ck runs 8 miles in 30 seconds

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DEEEZ NUTS

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why did the hooker quit her job? she had a nut allergy

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