Nut jokes

A Pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel attached to his dick. The Bartender asks him why And the Pirate says: Argh, It’s driving me nuts.

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I bet for Halloween you were a Goblin. how a about you gobble DEEZ nuts.

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why did the hooker quit her job? she had a nut allergy

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They say during sex you burn offas many calories as running 8 miles. Who the f@ck runs 8 miles in 30 seconds

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DEEEZ NUTS

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I asked my doctor if it was normal for one of my nuts to be bigger than the other two.

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What did the bread say to the peanut butter? I think your nuts

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I bought a guh on the weekend. (whats a guh?) a GUHZZLE DEEZ NUTS! ?? ?? ??

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What falls and never gets hurt? Snow

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A pirate walked into a bar with his ship’s steering wheel hanging off his pants. The bartender says, “Hey! What’s with the steering wheel? ” The pirate says, “I don’t know but it’s driving me nuts!”

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What do you call a vegan slut…? A garden Ho…!

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Yo girl…do you like squirrels, because i’m about to nut in your hole

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Nutted in her braces, now my kids are behind bars.

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what do u call a nut in jail: a busted nut

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A GUY GOES TO SEE HIS PSYCHIATRIST DRESSED ONLY IN BUBBLE WRAP. WHEN HE GETS THERE HE ASKED THE PSYCH, cAN YOU PLEASE HELP ME? THE PSYCH SAYS NO, I’M SORRY, I CAN CLEARLY SEE YOUR NUTS. A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. “But why?” they asked, as they moved off. “Because”, he said, “I can’t stand chess-nuts boasting in an open foyer.”

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