Nut jokes

My puns drive people nuts, this is usually when I bolt away

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Why did the squirrel swim on his back? keep his nuts dry.

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A penis has a sad life. His hair is a mess. His family is nuts. His neighbor is an asshole. His best friend is a pussy. And his owner beats him.

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What time is it when when a nurse ????? s

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Are you a walnut because I’m about to nut all over your walls!

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I have big balls said the kid holding to soccer balls

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The popular girl told me "I bet your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory!" Two weeks later, She shows up pregnant. … I guess her rubber broke too

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Nutted in my shoes, now my kids are taking a walk.

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There is a kid in my class who is allergic to peanuts. He says hes gay- he can’t be tho… he’s allergic to nuts!

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I have a pun, but I will nut-tella you!

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How do you get a squirrel down from a tree? You pull down your pants and show it your nuts.

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Me:what’s that girls name from phinease and ferb the sister Crush:candice Me:candice dick fit in your mouth Crush: slaps me Walks away

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They say during sex you burn offas many calories as running 8 miles. Who the f@ck runs 8 miles in 30 seconds

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I bought a guh on the weekend. (whats a guh?) a GUHZZLE DEEZ NUTS! ?? ?? ??

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2 nuts were walking down the street, and one was a-salted! What’s A Squirrels Favourite OTT? Nut-Flix

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