Nut jokes

Why do vegetarians give good head? Beause they’re used to eating nuts.

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I have a pun, but I will nut-tella you!

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Me: Do you like smash? Friend: Smash Rolls? Me: No, Smash DEEZ NUTS! Friend: AHHHHH (*moans)

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How do you get a squirrel down from a tree? You pull down your pants and show it your nuts.

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Yo girl…do you like squirrels, because i’m about to nut in your hole

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What did the squirrel say to the dog? There are nuts in your poop. I found them. :(

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%% %%Do you ate chef boyardee’s food? No, why? Boy are deez nuts so big

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at school nobody:do u want nuts me: wait u have some nobody: yeah their my own me: :0

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Did you hear they think Michael Jackson died from food poisoning, he ate 12 year old nuts and a 13 year old wiener

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I tried to come up with a funny pun about squirrels, but all my ideas were nuts

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Why did the squirrel do the backstroke? He wanted to keep his nuts dry.

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If you are what you eat, does that mean all squirrels are nuts?

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Are you a walnut because I’m about to nut all over your walls!

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Do you know wildee? What’s that? Willdeeznuts fit into your mouth

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What do squirrels and men have in common? They always want a nut.

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