Nut jokes

There is a kid in my class who is allergic to peanuts. He says hes gay- he can’t be tho… he’s allergic to nuts!

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I have big balls said the kid holding to soccer balls

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Why did Adolf Hitler like nuts? He only had one.

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Why did the squirrel do the backstroke? He wanted to keep his nuts dry.

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Ow! you hit the spot!

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do you like wendys? when deez nutz are in your mouth

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Did you hear they think Michael Jackson died from food poisoning, he ate 12 year old nuts and a 13 year old wiener

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What does a robot do at the end of a one night stand? – He nuts and bolts.

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What is the difference between beer nuts and deer nuts? Well beer nuts are 49 cents but deer nuts are just under a buck. (If you don’t understand the genders of deer you won’t understand it.)

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a girl asked ?can i have some nuts too?? boy: ?sure what ones;)?

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I have a pun, but I will nut-tella you!

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Me: Do you like smash? Friend: Smash Rolls? Me: No, Smash DEEZ NUTS! Friend: AHHHHH (*moans)

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What do squirrels and men have in common? They always want a nut.

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“hey what’s the russian president’s name?” “putin?” “yeah, putin deez nuts in yo mouth”

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I tried to come up with a funny pun about squirrels, but all my ideas were nuts

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