Nut jokes

You heard that Michael Jackson autopsy reports showed he died of food poisoning? It’s because he ate some 8 year old nuts.

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have you heard of the… uh Pokemon called uh rhy… rhy rhydon deez nuts

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There is a new kind of jock strap, it only holds one nut. It is called a trump supporter.

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What does a robot do at the end of a one night stand? – He nuts and bolts.

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sx

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Why did the squirrel do the backstroke? He wanted to keep his nuts dry.

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I asked my doctor if it was normal for one of my nuts to be bigger than the other two.

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can i put deez nuts in yo cluts?

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Yo girl…do you like squirrels, because i’m about to nut in your hole

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DR Brody: Sir your son has a disease called boofa dad: whats boofa? DR Brody: both of these nuts in your mouth

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do you like wendys? when deez nutz are in your mouth

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Me: Do you like smash? Friend: Smash Rolls? Me: No, Smash DEEZ NUTS! Friend: AHHHHH (*moans)

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Me:what’s that girls name from phinease and ferb the sister Crush:candice Me:candice dick fit in your mouth Crush: slaps me Walks away

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What is the difference between beer nuts and deer nuts? Well beer nuts are 49 cents but deer nuts are just under a buck. (If you don’t understand the genders of deer you won’t understand it.)

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Do you you like Cds. There’s this really cool one called C Deez nuts.

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