Nut jokes

The popular girl told me "I bet your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory!" Two weeks later, She shows up pregnant. … I guess her rubber broke too

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What did the wind say to the palm tree? Hold onto your nuts this is no ordinary blow job.

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at school nobody:do u want nuts me: wait u have some nobody: yeah their my own me: :0

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Nutted in my shoes, now my kids are taking a walk.

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I nutted on the wall, call that a walnut.

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have you heard of the… uh Pokemon called uh rhy… rhy rhydon deez nuts

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Knock knock who is there deez nuts

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Are you a walnut because I’m about to nut all over your walls!

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There is a kid in my class who is allergic to peanuts. He says hes gay- he can’t be tho… he’s allergic to nuts!

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There is a new kind of jock strap, it only holds one nut. It is called a trump supporter.

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A pirate walked into a bar with his ship’s steering wheel hanging off his pants. The bartender says, “Hey! What’s with the steering wheel? ” The pirate says, “I don’t know but it’s driving me nuts!”

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What do you call a nut stuck to a wall? A walnut.

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What did one nut say to the other? Ignore the guy in the middle. He’s a d!ck.

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I bought a guh on the weekend. (whats a guh?) a GUHZZLE DEEZ NUTS! ?? ?? ??

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