A pirate walks into a bar and has a ship’s wheel in his pants. The bartender asks, “What’s with the wheel in your pants?” The pirate replies, “Yarrr! It’s drivin’ me nuts!”
You heard that Michael Jackson autopsy reports showed he died of food poisoning? It’s because he ate some 8 year old nuts.
Are you a walnut because I’m about to nut all over your walls!
Do you know wildee? What’s that? Willdeeznuts fit into your mouth
My puns drive people nuts, this is usually when I bolt away
What did the squirrel say to the dog? There are nuts in your poop. I found them. :(
There is a kid in my class who is allergic to peanuts. He says hes gay- he can’t be tho… he’s allergic to nuts!
A Pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel attached to his dick. The Bartender asks him why And the Pirate says: Argh, It’s driving me nuts.
A man walks into a bar. Sits down and asks the bartender for 12 shots of vodka. The bartender asks what the man is celebrating for and said he’ll give one shot on the house. The man said I celebrating my first blowjob. And nah if 12 shots doesn’t get the taste out of my mouth nothing will.
What is the difference between beer nuts and deer nuts? Well beer nuts are 49 cents but deer nuts are just under a buck. (If you don’t understand the genders of deer you won’t understand it.)
I tried to come up with a funny pun about squirrels, but all my ideas were nuts
Why did the squirrel swim on his back? keep his nuts dry.
I asked my doctor if it was normal for one of my nuts to be bigger than the other two.
I bet for Halloween you were a Goblin. how a about you gobble DEEZ nuts.
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