2 nuts were chasing each other. One said to the other “I’m-a cashew!”
What do you call a Dino stripper? A dinowhore
A GUY GOES TO SEE HIS PSYCHIATRIST DRESSED ONLY IN BUBBLE WRAP. WHEN HE GETS THERE HE ASKED THE PSYCH, cAN YOU PLEASE HELP ME? THE PSYCH SAYS NO, I’M SORRY, I CAN CLEARLY SEE YOUR NUTS. A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. “But why?” they asked, as they moved off. “Because”, he said, “I can’t stand chess-nuts boasting in an open foyer.”
ok this isnt a joke but its funny. Roses are red, nuts are brown, Skirts go up, pants go down. Body to body, skin to skin, when its stiff, stick it in. It goes in dry, comes out wet, the longer it’s in, the stronger it gets. It comes out dripping and starts to sag, its not what you think, its a lipton tea bag. Get your mind out of the gutter.
There is a new kind of jock strap, it only holds one nut. It is called a trump supporter.
What do you call a vegan slut…? A garden Ho…!
Why did Adolf Hitler like nuts? He only had one.
Did you guys see on the news where they arrested that pervert at the Michaels Crafts store?? He was running around completely naked and had sprinkled glitter all over his testicles. I guess it was pretty nuts.
When you throw your peanut butter sandwich at the nut allergy table 25+ kill streak
What did the wind say to the palm tree? Hold onto your nuts this is no ordinary blow job.
I bought a guh on the weekend. (whats a guh?) a GUHZZLE DEEZ NUTS! ?? ?? ??
was walking down the street when I was accosted by a particularly dirty and shabby-looking homeless man who asked me for a couple of dollars for dinner. I took out my wallet, extracted ten dollars and asked,“If I give you this money, will you buy some beer with it instead of dinner?” %%“Will you use it to go fishing instead of buying food?” I asked. “No, I don’t waste time fishing,” the homeless man said…“I need to spend all my time trying to stay alive.” “Will you spend this on hunting equipment?” I asked. “Are you NUTS!” replied the homeless man. “I haven’t gone hunting in 20 years!” “Well,” I said, “I’m not going to give you money. Instead, I’m going to take you home for a shower and a terrific dinner cooked by my wife.” The homeless man was astounded. "Won’t your wife be furious with you for doing that? I replied, “Don’t worry about that. It’s important for her to see what a man looks like after he has given up drinking, fishing and hunting.” Not a joke but still dc
They say during sex you burn offas many calories as running 8 miles. Who the f@ck runs 8 miles in 30 seconds
What is the difference between beer nuts and deer nuts? Well beer nuts are 49 cents but deer nuts are just under a buck. (If you don’t understand the genders of deer you won’t understand it.)
RUS | ENG
