What is the difference between beer nuts and deer nuts? Well beer nuts are 49 cents but deer nuts are just under a buck. (If you don’t understand the genders of deer you won’t understand it.)
A Pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel attached to his dick. The Bartender asks him why And the Pirate says: Argh, It’s driving me nuts.
Did you guys see on the news where they arrested that pervert at the Michaels Crafts store?? He was running around completely naked and had sprinkled glitter all over his testicles. I guess it was pretty nuts.
Why did the squirrel swim on his back? keep his nuts dry.
I nutted on the wall, call that a walnut.
Anybody know a girl named Candice? she just added me on snap
Me: Do you like smash? Friend: Smash Rolls? Me: No, Smash DEEZ NUTS! Friend: AHHHHH (*moans)
The popular girl told me "I bet your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory!" Two weeks later, She shows up pregnant. … I guess her rubber broke too
can i put deez nuts in yo cluts?
My puns drive people nuts, this is usually when I bolt away
Are you a walnut because I’m about to nut all over your walls!
What do you call a nut stuck to a wall? A walnut.
What’s brown and sticky? A stick.
A sailor drops anchor in a port and heads into the nearest pub. Everyone in the pub is whispering and pointing at him because of his odd shaped body; he has a very muscular body, but a very tiny head on his shoulders. As he orders his drink, he tells the bartender, “I’ll explain. I get this in every port and town I visit. I caught a mermaid and she granted me three wishes if I would release her back into the sea. So I told her I wanted a yacht and, sure enough, she came through for me. Next, I asked for a million bucks and now I am set for life. Last of all, I asked her if I could have sex with her and her response was, ‘I don’t know how you can make love to me with your type of body.’ So I asked her, ‘How about a little head?’” Other jokes: Why did the ketchup blush? He saw the salad dressing. What did the elephant ask the naked man? How do you breathe out of that thing? How do you make your husband scream during sex? Call him and let him hear it. Why does the mermaid wear seashells? She outgrew her b-shells! How is life like toilet paper? You’re either on a roll or taking shit from someone. What does one boob say to the other boob? If we don’t get support, people will think we’re nuts. What’s the difference between a G-spot and a golf ball? A man will actually search for a golf ball. What did Cinderella do when she arrived at the ball? She gagged.
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