Nut jokes

2 nuts were walking down the street, and one was a-salted! What’s A Squirrels Favourite OTT? Nut-Flix

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Did you guys see on the news where they arrested that pervert at the Michaels Crafts store?? He was running around completely naked and had sprinkled glitter all over his testicles. I guess it was pretty nuts.

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What do squirrels and men have in common? They always want a nut.

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Me: Do you like smash? Friend: Smash Rolls? Me: No, Smash DEEZ NUTS! Friend: AHHHHH (*moans)

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What’s brown and sticky? A stick.

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What does a robot do at the end of a one night stand? – He nuts and bolts.

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have you heard of the… uh Pokemon called uh rhy… rhy rhydon deez nuts

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Why did the squirrel swim on his back? keep his nuts dry.

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What did the wind say to the palm tree? Hold onto your nuts this is no ordinary blow job.

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I bet for Halloween you were a Goblin. how a about you gobble DEEZ nuts.

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There is a new kind of jock strap, it only holds one nut. It is called a trump supporter.

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What do u call it when a boxer cums? Busting a nut

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What is the difference between beer nuts and deer nuts? Well beer nuts are 49 cents but deer nuts are just under a buck. (If you don’t understand the genders of deer you won’t understand it.)

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The popular girl told me "I bet your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory!" Two weeks later, She shows up pregnant. … I guess her rubber broke too

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Do you you like Cds. There’s this really cool one called C Deez nuts.

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