Me:what’s that girls name from phinease and ferb the sister Crush:candice Me:candice dick fit in your mouth Crush: slaps me Walks away
What did one nut say to the other? Ignore the guy in the middle. He’s a d!ck.
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why did the hooker quit her job? she had a nut allergy
%% %%Do you ate chef boyardee’s food? No, why? Boy are deez nuts so big
In school, we learned that squirrels stick their nuts in trees. So, just like my uncle dave…
have you heard of the… uh Pokemon called uh rhy… rhy rhydon deez nuts
Why do vegetarians give good head? Beause they’re used to eating nuts.
What did the wire say to the electrician Stop twisting my nuts
I asked my doctor if it was normal for one of my nuts to be bigger than the other two.
Knock knock who is there deez nuts
a girl asked ?can i have some nuts too?? boy: ?sure what ones;)?
What did the nut chasing the other nut say? Imma cashew
I’m so excited for Christmas Pudding… Pudding these nuts in your mouth
was walking down the street when I was accosted by a particularly dirty and shabby-looking homeless man who asked me for a couple of dollars for dinner. I took out my wallet, extracted ten dollars and asked,“If I give you this money, will you buy some beer with it instead of dinner?” %%“Will you use it to go fishing instead of buying food?” I asked. “No, I don’t waste time fishing,” the homeless man said…“I need to spend all my time trying to stay alive.” “Will you spend this on hunting equipment?” I asked. “Are you NUTS!” replied the homeless man. “I haven’t gone hunting in 20 years!” “Well,” I said, “I’m not going to give you money. Instead, I’m going to take you home for a shower and a terrific dinner cooked by my wife.” The homeless man was astounded. "Won’t your wife be furious with you for doing that? I replied, “Don’t worry about that. It’s important for her to see what a man looks like after he has given up drinking, fishing and hunting.” Not a joke but still dc
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