Nut jokes

What did the nut chasing the other nut say? Imma cashew

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when I throw a dodge ball at a person taller than its always a nut shot

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Nutted in my shoes, now my kids are taking a walk.

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ok this isnt a joke but its funny. Roses are red, nuts are brown, Skirts go up, pants go down. Body to body, skin to skin, when its stiff, stick it in. It goes in dry, comes out wet, the longer it’s in, the stronger it gets. It comes out dripping and starts to sag, its not what you think, its a lipton tea bag. Get your mind out of the gutter.

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You heard that Michael Jackson autopsy reports showed he died of food poisoning? It’s because he ate some 8 year old nuts.

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One day little johnny went to his grandma’s house and she asks “do you like nuts” and little johnny says “yes i like nuts” and his grandma says “okay then grab them out of the cabinet” so little johnny went and grabbed them and he was sad after he grabbed them his grandma then says “whats wrong? ” little johnny says “i thought they were real nuts.” and his grandma fainted.

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what do u call a nut in jail: a busted nut

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A Pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel attached to his dick. The Bartender asks him why And the Pirate says: Argh, It’s driving me nuts.

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Knock knock who is there deez nuts

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I asked my doctor if it was normal for one of my nuts to be bigger than the other two.

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Nutted in her braces, now my kids are behind bars.

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What did the wire say to the electrician Stop twisting my nuts

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Anybody know a girl named Candice? she just added me on snap

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What did one nut say to the other? Ignore the guy in the middle. He’s a d!ck.

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What did the wind say to the palm tree? Hold onto your nuts this is no ordinary blow job.

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