why did the hooker quit her job? she had a nut allergy
What do squirrels and men have in common? They always want a nut.
What do you call a nut on a Wheelchair?..a busted nut.
A GUY GOES TO SEE HIS PSYCHIATRIST DRESSED ONLY IN BUBBLE WRAP. WHEN HE GETS THERE HE ASKED THE PSYCH, cAN YOU PLEASE HELP ME? THE PSYCH SAYS NO, I’M SORRY, I CAN CLEARLY SEE YOUR NUTS. A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. “But why?” they asked, as they moved off. “Because”, he said, “I can’t stand chess-nuts boasting in an open foyer.”
2 nuts were chasing each other. One said to the other “I’m-a cashew!”
Why did the squirrel swim on his back? keep his nuts dry.
A man walks into a bar. Sits down and asks the bartender for 12 shots of vodka. The bartender asks what the man is celebrating for and said he’ll give one shot on the house. The man said I celebrating my first blowjob. And nah if 12 shots doesn’t get the taste out of my mouth nothing will.
I tried to come up with a funny pun about squirrels, but all my ideas were nuts
If you are what you eat, does that mean all squirrels are nuts?
What time is it when when a nurse ????? s
A pirate walks into a bar and has a ship’s wheel in his pants. The bartender asks, “What’s with the wheel in your pants?” The pirate replies, “Yarrr! It’s drivin’ me nuts!”
My puns drive people nuts, this is usually when I bolt away
Nutted in my shoes, now my kids are taking a walk.
sx
One day little johnny went to his grandma’s house and she asks “do you like nuts” and little johnny says “yes i like nuts” and his grandma says “okay then grab them out of the cabinet” so little johnny went and grabbed them and he was sad after he grabbed them his grandma then says “whats wrong? ” little johnny says “i thought they were real nuts.” and his grandma fainted.
RUS | ENG
