%%A pirate walks into a bar with a wheel hanging down his pants. A guy walks buy and says ""Pardon me sir, but you’ve got a wheel hanging down your pants. The pirate responds ‘‘I know. i’ts driving me nuts!’’
My puns drive people nuts, this is usually when I bolt away
what do u call a nut in jail: a busted nut
Knock knock who is there deez nuts
DEEEZ NUTS
What do you call a nut stuck to a wall? A walnut.
when I throw a dodge ball at a person taller than its always a nut shot
What do squirrels and men have in common? They always want a nut.
How do you get a squirrel down from a tree? You pull down your pants and show it your nuts.
If you are what you eat, does that mean all squirrels are nuts?
I have big balls said the kid holding to soccer balls
What’s brown and sticky? A stick.
I tried to come up with a funny pun about squirrels, but all my ideas were nuts
What falls and never gets hurt? Snow
was walking down the street when I was accosted by a particularly dirty and shabby-looking homeless man who asked me for a couple of dollars for dinner. I took out my wallet, extracted ten dollars and asked,“If I give you this money, will you buy some beer with it instead of dinner?” %%“Will you use it to go fishing instead of buying food?” I asked. “No, I don’t waste time fishing,” the homeless man said…“I need to spend all my time trying to stay alive.” “Will you spend this on hunting equipment?” I asked. “Are you NUTS!” replied the homeless man. “I haven’t gone hunting in 20 years!” “Well,” I said, “I’m not going to give you money. Instead, I’m going to take you home for a shower and a terrific dinner cooked by my wife.” The homeless man was astounded. "Won’t your wife be furious with you for doing that? I replied, “Don’t worry about that. It’s important for her to see what a man looks like after he has given up drinking, fishing and hunting.” Not a joke but still dc
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