%%A pirate walks into a bar with a wheel hanging down his pants. A guy walks buy and says ""Pardon me sir, but you’ve got a wheel hanging down your pants. The pirate responds ‘‘I know. i’ts driving me nuts!’’
Are you a walnut because I’m about to nut all over your walls!
What falls and never gets hurt? Snow
Yo girl…do you like squirrels, because i’m about to nut in your hole
How do you get a squirrel down from a tree? You pull down your pants and show it your nuts.
I’m so excited for Christmas Pudding… Pudding these nuts in your mouth
What did one nut say to the other? Ignore the guy in the middle. He’s a d!ck.
when I throw a dodge ball at a person taller than its always a nut shot
One day little johnny went to his grandma’s house and she asks “do you like nuts” and little johnny says “yes i like nuts” and his grandma says “okay then grab them out of the cabinet” so little johnny went and grabbed them and he was sad after he grabbed them his grandma then says “whats wrong? ” little johnny says “i thought they were real nuts.” and his grandma fainted.
Why did Adolf Hitler like nuts? He only had one.
do you like wendys? when deez nutz are in your mouth
was walking down the street when I was accosted by a particularly dirty and shabby-looking homeless man who asked me for a couple of dollars for dinner. I took out my wallet, extracted ten dollars and asked,“If I give you this money, will you buy some beer with it instead of dinner?” %%“Will you use it to go fishing instead of buying food?” I asked. “No, I don’t waste time fishing,” the homeless man said…“I need to spend all my time trying to stay alive.” “Will you spend this on hunting equipment?” I asked. “Are you NUTS!” replied the homeless man. “I haven’t gone hunting in 20 years!” “Well,” I said, “I’m not going to give you money. Instead, I’m going to take you home for a shower and a terrific dinner cooked by my wife.” The homeless man was astounded. "Won’t your wife be furious with you for doing that? I replied, “Don’t worry about that. It’s important for her to see what a man looks like after he has given up drinking, fishing and hunting.” Not a joke but still dc
They say during sex you burn offas many calories as running 8 miles. Who the f@ck runs 8 miles in 30 seconds
In school, we learned that squirrels stick their nuts in trees. So, just like my uncle dave…
What do you call a Dino stripper? A dinowhore
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