Paint jokes

My young son saw trump on TV he asked “Why is the man on TV painted orange?” I replied “Son when Russia pays that much for equipment, They don’t want it to rust”

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Two kids walked into a bar, they were covered with blood. the bartender asked what happened. The youngest said “Well, we we’re trying to paint our basement but we threw the babies too hard”.

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Always practice safe sex: paint an x on the sheep that kick.

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A boat carrying red paint ando a boat carrying blue paint crashed into each other. The crews were marooned

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall? 1 you just need too throw it hard enough.

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A father and a son were painting pictures together, the son and father were drawing the exact same thing to a T and the son said “what happened to your hand?” looking at the scar tissue near the father’s knuckle, the father replied with “you know what happened, you were there.” the son continues to deny this until they both finish their paintings - they’re exactly the same. The father passes out for a few hours and wakes up to find that there’s only one painting.

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How many babys does it take to paint wheels red? It depends on your speed.

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What brand of paint Michael Jackson use to paint Neverland Ranch? Dutch Boy.

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i will never forget my little brothers last word rip. his last words: paint dosent taste good

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How many children does it take to paint a wall? Depends on how hard you throw.

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How many dead babies dose it take to paint my room It depends how many bullets you have

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What is blue but smells like red paint? Blue paint

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A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do. “Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?” The blonde said, “How about 50 dollars?” The man agreed and told her that the paint and ladders that she might need were in the garage. The man’s wife, inside the house, heard the conversation and said to her husband, “Does she realize that the porch goes all the way around the house?” The man replied, “She should. She was standing on the porch.” A short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money. “You’re finished already?” he asked. “Yes,” the blonde answered, "and I had paint left over, so I gave it two coats. "Impressed, the man reached in his pocket for the $50. “And by the way,” the blonde added, “that’s not a Porch, it’s a Ferrari.”

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What did the house painter ask when he went to the abortion clinic? Where do you keep the cans of paint?

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The saddest painting you will see is a mirror.

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