I asked my dad , Why did you paint rabbits on your bald head? He replied, Because I thought it would look like hares
I painted my dad white so he wouldn’t leave
A guy meets a sex worker in a bar. She says, ‘This is your lucky night. I’ve got a special game for you. I’ll do absolutely anything you want for ?300 as long as you can say it in three words.’ The guy replies, ‘Hey, why not?’ He pulls his wallet out of his pocket and lays ? 300 on the bar, and says slowly. ‘Paint…my….house.’
Dulux have created a new type of paint its called Sue grey it covers up everything.
What is blue but smells like red paint? Blue paint
What do Michelangelo and Kurt Cobain have in common? They both used their brains to paint the ceiling.
1: hey 2:what 1:we’re outta paint 2:HMM (and thats how stop signs have extra paint.)
How many babys does it take to paint a wall red. Depends how hard you can throw them.
Boom boom acka-lacka lacka boom Boom boom acka-lacka boom boom
What is the difference between Jesus and a painting? It only takes 1 nail to hang a painting!
you’re so fat you probably apply sunscreen with a paint roller What’s the difference between Jesus and a painting of Jesus? A painting only takes one nail to be hanged.
What did the paintings name their daughter? Palette
Why did the snail paint a big “S” on his car? Because he wanted people to say look at that S car go when he rolled by.
Ex Of Johnnys: I have a question. Johnny:What? Ex Of Johnnys: Am I pretty? Johnny: Yes ofc jesus mad everbody wonderfully! Ex: Awhh! Johnny: But who ever made you was painting tomas the train while making your face.
What do Painters and Prostitutes have in common? They’re both paid for a good finish…
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