Paint jokes

what do Bob Ross’s painting and the orphanage have in common. They’re both filled with happy little accidents…

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How fast did Little Sally paint the barn red? As soon as the bomb exploded on her.

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Why did the snail paint a big “S” on his car? Because he wanted people to say look at that S car go when he rolled by.

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What do Michelangelo and Kurt Cobain have in common? They both used their brains to paint the ceiling.

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My Xbox has been acting up lately… So I painted it black to make it run faster

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Q, Why did the elephant paint his toenails red? A, To hide up cherry trees. Q, What’s the loudest noise in the jungle? A, Giraffes eating cherries.

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A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do. “Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?” The blonde said, “How about 50 dollars?” The man agreed and told her that the paint and ladders that she might need were in the garage. The man’s wife, inside the house, heard the conversation and said to her husband, “Does she realize that the porch goes all the way around the house?” The man replied, “She should. She was standing on the porch.” A short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money. “You’re finished already?” he asked. “Yes,” the blonde answered, "and I had paint left over, so I gave it two coats. "Impressed, the man reached in his pocket for the $50. “And by the way,” the blonde added, “that’s not a Porch, it’s a Ferrari.”

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Two kids walked into a bar, they were covered with blood. the bartender asked what happened. The youngest said “Well, we we’re trying to paint our basement but we threw the babies too hard”.

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What was one cool thing about hitler he used to paint his thoughts on the wall with a gun

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My young son saw trump on TV he asked “Why is the man on TV painted orange?” I replied “Son when Russia pays that much for equipment, They don’t want it to rust”

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall? Depends on how many you throw.

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how many babies does it take to paint a wall? Depends how hard you throw them

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