Paint jokes

How many babys does it take to paint wheels red? It depends on your speed.

-2

-1

* * *

How many babies does it take to paint a wall. Depends on how hard you throw them.with fuk.

-2

-1

Did you hear about the dead artist Too many strokes

-2

-1

* * *

What do Michelangelo and Kurt Cobain have in common? They both used their brains to paint the ceiling.

-2

-1

* * *

how many babies does it take to paint a room red. depends how hard you throw em.

-2

-1

* * *

How many babies does it take to paint a wall? It depends on how hard you throw them. What’s so great about dead baby jokes? They never get old.

-2

-1

* * *

these are all of my terrible jokes Two antennas met on a roof, they fell in love and got married. The ceremony was alright but the reception was amazing A jumper cable walks into a bar and the bartender said "I’ll serve you but don’t start anything A dyslexic man walks into a bra Two cannibals are eating a clown, one says "does this taste funny to you, I’m

See more... (about 1 min.reading)

joking of course" Dejamoo: the feeling that you’ve heard this bull before A man woke up in a hospital after a serious accident and said to the doctor “I can’t feel my legs” the doctor said " I know, I AMPUTATED YOUR ARMS" I went to seafood disco last week, I pulled a muscle What do you call a fish with no eyes, a fsh Two fish swim into a concrete wall, one says "dam" A mystic dwarf escapes from a jail, the call went out of a "small medium at large" A man walks into a bar with solid tar under his arm, he says "a beer please,and one for the road" Why can’t you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? The p is silent YO MAMA SO FAT THAT she should be worried, diabetes is a serious problem What do you call a black man on the moon? An astronaut, duh A priest a rabbi and a cleric walk into a bar, the cleric, due to his religious constructions, does not drink alcohol. The others do the same, they have a pleasant fun and nothing bad happens. What’s red and smells like blue paint? red paint. I remember the last words my grandad said before he kicked the bucket, how far do you think I can kick this bucket A man walks into a bar, his alcohol independence is pulling this family apart I like my coffee like my women, on sometimes with a penis A man is working at a bar, a money comes in and orders a banana martini. The man wakes up and tells his story to his wife, he is ignored and he turns around sobbing. His marriage is falling apart Why didn’t Jesus play hockey? Soccer and baseball are more popular in Mexico What’s green and has wheels? Grass, the wheels WERE A LIE. What do a duck and a bicycle have in common? They both have wheels except the duck Why couldn’t the dinosaur break the wall, I don’t know. I’m asking you Why did the old woman put rainbow roller skates on her walker, she has dementia There are an owl and a squirrel watching a farmer go by, they owl turns to the squirrel and says nothing. It’s an owl it can’t talk. The owl then eats the squirrel because the owl is a bird of prey

-2

-1

* * *

Why did the snail paint a big “S” on his car? Because he wanted people to say look at that S car go when he rolled by.

-2

-1

What did the house painter ask when he went to the abortion clinic? Where do you keep the cans of paint?

-2

-1

* * *

How many babies does it take to paint a wall? - Depends on how big they are and how hard you throw them.

-2

-1

* * *

I’m going to open a wellness center for ASD kids to be able to express themselves through music and painting. I will call it Artism!

-2

-1

* * *

What brand of paint Michael Jackson use to paint Neverland Ranch? Dutch Boy.

-2

-1

* * *

One Tuesday afternoon Little Jonny Decides he wants extra Homework So he went to his teacher and said,Hello can I have extra homework this week and the teacher replied with,Sure be at my house Friday afternoon to cut my lawn, Polish the counters,Scrub the Baseboards,Scrub and paint the walls! And johnny replied with,That’s not what I Ment but at least I’ll get paid! And The Teacher said, How about 200 each job? Johnny replied with,OK (Friday afternoon at her house After Johnny Does all the jobs he asked for his payment and the teacher laughed and said, You do know that Tuesday was April fools day right?

-2

-1

* * *

One time I saw a manatee all spray painted to look like a tiger. Needless to say, the first thing I yelled was, “OH! THE HUMANATEE!”

-2

-1

* * *

A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do. “Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?” The blonde said, “How about 50 dollars?” The man agreed and told her that the paint and ladders that she might need were in the garage. The man’s wife, inside the house, heard the conversation and said to her husband, “Does she realize that the porch goes all the way around the house?” The man replied, “She should. She was standing on the porch.” A short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money. “You’re finished already?” he asked. “Yes,” the blonde answered, "and I had paint left over, so I gave it two coats. "Impressed, the man reached in his pocket for the $50. “And by the way,” the blonde added, “that’s not a Porch, it’s a Ferrari.”

-2

-1

* * *

- up -

N E X T!

random