A guy meets a sex worker in a bar. She says, ‘This is your lucky night. I’ve got a special game for you. I’ll do absolutely anything you want for ?300 as long as you can say it in three words.’ The guy replies, ‘Hey, why not?’ He pulls his wallet out of his pocket and lays ? 300 on the bar, and says slowly. ‘Paint…my….house.’
I feel bad for cumming on my turtle
Why did the snail paint a big “S” on his car? Because he wanted people to say look at that S car go when he rolled by.
I when to the orphans to paint a picture of there parents so they can actually talk to them
How many babies does it take to paint a wall? Well it depends how hard you can throw.
One time I saw a manatee all spray painted to look like a tiger. Needless to say, the first thing I yelled was, “OH! THE HUMANATEE!”
What’s the difference between a painting and jesus? A painting only needs one nail.
What is blue but smells like red paint? Blue paint
How many babies does it take to paint a wall? - Depends on how big they are and how hard you throw them.
What do Michaelangelo and Hitler have in common? They both used their brain to paint the ceiling
My young son saw trump on TV he asked “Why is the man on TV painted orange?” I replied “Son when Russia pays that much for equipment, They don’t want it to rust”
how do you confuse a blonde? paint yourself green and throw forks at her
What’s the difference between school and prison. One is painted
Hey what is the difference between a painting and a wife? Only the wife was hung up
How many babies do you need to paint a wall? Depends on how hard you throw them.
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