Why did the painting go to jail? Because it was framed!
If the red house is on the left, and the blue house on the right, where is the white house? in Washington D.C.
A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do. “Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?” The blonde said, “How about 50 dollars?” The man agreed and told her that the paint and ladders that she might need were in the garage. The man’s wife, inside the house, heard the conversation and said to her husband, “Does she realize that the porch goes all the way around the house?” The man replied, “She should. She was standing on the porch.” A short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money. “You’re finished already?” he asked. “Yes,” the blonde answered, "and I had paint left over, so I gave it two coats. "Impressed, the man reached in his pocket for the $50. “And by the way,” the blonde added, “that’s not a Porch, it’s a Ferrari.”
I painted my dad white so he wouldn’t leave
As I’m lying down on the table for a radiation treatment, a small angel lands on one shoulder, a tiny devil on the other shoulder. And then the mind game begins: Angel: This won’t last long. You are perfectly lined up. The treatment only lasts a few mins. Remember, stay absolutely still. Devil: Did she just twitch? A: No. She didn’t twitch. D: I think I saw her
how many babies does it take to paint a room red. depends how hard you throw em.
How many baby’s does it take to paint a wall depends on how hard you throw it
"…This morning, I came out my front door to see my neighbor frantically trying to scrub off the word “PEDO” that had been spray-painted on his front window. “What’s been going on John? ”’ I asked. “f@cking kids,” came his mumbled reply. The dirty bastard!’
you’re so fat you probably apply sunscreen with a paint roller What’s the difference between Jesus and a painting of Jesus? A painting only takes one nail to be hanged.
How many babies does it take to paint a wall? One, if you throw it hard enough.
Kid starts shortcoming people in school, teacher asks “why are you doing that”. He responds, “I wanted to paint the walls red for Christmas”
What do Michelangelo and Kurt Cobain have in common? They both used their brains to paint the ceiling.
A father and a son were painting pictures together, the son and father were drawing the exact same thing to a T and the son said “what happened to your hand?” looking at the scar tissue near the father’s knuckle, the father replied with “you know what happened, you were there.” the son continues to deny this until they both finish their paintings - they’re exactly the same. The father passes out for a few hours and wakes up to find that there’s only one painting.
I when to the orphans to paint a picture of there parents so they can actually talk to them
i will never forget my little brothers last word rip. his last words: paint dosent taste good
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