Paint jokes

What do Michelangelo and Kurt Cobain have in common? They both used their brains to paint the ceiling.

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What brand of paint Michael Jackson use to paint Neverland Ranch? Dutch Boy.

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How do you paint a wall red? You shoot a baby with a .50 cal

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What was one cool thing about hitler he used to paint his thoughts on the wall with a gun

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Ex Of Johnnys: I have a question. Johnny:What? Ex Of Johnnys: Am I pretty? Johnny: Yes ofc jesus mad everbody wonderfully! Ex: Awhh! Johnny: But who ever made you was painting tomas the train while making your face.

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The saddest painting you will see is a mirror.

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What did the two paintings say after a long battle? Lets call this one a draw

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An artist is commissioned to create a painting celebrating Soviet-Polish friendship, to be called “Lenin in Poland.” When the painting is unveiled at the Kremlin, there is a gasp from the invited guests. The painting depicts Lenin’s wife naked in bed with Leon Trotsky. “But this is a travesty! Where is Lenin? ” Asks one of the guests. “Lenin is in Poland,” replies the painter.

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Why did the snail paint a big “S” on his car? Because he wanted people to say look at that S car go when he rolled by.

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Little Johnny was in class and the teacher said ok class whats behind my back she said its round and red and sally said ooh ooh its an apple and the teacher noo but i like where your going with this so now teacher said it is also used to make multipule things and sally said ooh ooh its a container of paint and the teacher said again noo but i like where your going with this and the teacher said its a ball of yarn as she pulled it out from behind her back then little johnny said ok my turn he said whats in my pocket its round and it has a head and the teacher said thats enough johnny now sit down and little johnny pulled the thing htm title=' but i like where your going with this'>out of his pocket and said its a nickle but i like where your going with this

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how many babies does it take to paint a wall? 327

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall? 1 you just need too throw it hard enough.

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A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do. “Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?” The blonde said, “How about 50 dollars?” The man agreed and told her that the paint and ladders that she might need were in the garage. The man’s wife, inside the house, heard the conversation and said to her husband, “Does she realize that the porch goes all the way around the house?” The man replied, “She should. She was standing on the porch.” A short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money. “You’re finished already?” he asked. “Yes,” the blonde answered, "and I had paint left over, so I gave it two coats. "Impressed, the man reached in his pocket for the $50. “And by the way,” the blonde added, “that’s not a Porch, it’s a Ferrari.”

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Kid starts shortcoming people in school, teacher asks “why are you doing that”. He responds, “I wanted to paint the walls red for Christmas”

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Q, Why did the elephant paint his toenails red? A, To hide up cherry trees. Q, What’s the loudest noise in the jungle? A, Giraffes eating cherries.

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