Paint jokes

So I went to a church the other day and I asked my friend is that painting of Jesus and is it through the wall with one with three htm title=' not doing the T post that he invented'>nails Oh wait I wasn’t even Jesus he’s not doing the T post that he invented

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r u a toaster? cuz i wanna take a bath wit u r u a knife? cuz u make me wanna kms r u a painting? cuz i hang u r u the flu? cuz u make me wanna hurl r u a newspaper? cuz u have new problems everyday r u the ground? cuz im six feet deep in u ;)

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how do you confuse a blonde? paint yourself green and throw forks at her

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A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do. “Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?” The blonde said, “How about 50 dollars?” The man agreed and told her that the paint and ladders that she might need were in the garage. The man’s wife, inside the house, heard the conversation and said to her husband, “Does she realize that the porch goes all the way around the house?” The man replied, “She should. She was standing on the porch.” A short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money. “You’re finished already?” he asked. “Yes,” the blonde answered, "and I had paint left over, so I gave it two coats. "Impressed, the man reached in his pocket for the $50. “And by the way,” the blonde added, “that’s not a Porch, it’s a Ferrari.”

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1: hey 2:what 1:we’re outta paint 2:HMM (and thats how stop signs have extra paint.)

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I asked my dad , Why did you paint rabbits on your bald head? He replied, Because I thought it would look like hares

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What is blue but smells like red paint? Blue paint

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Why did the painting go to jail? Because it was framed!

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If the red house is on the left, and the blue house on the right, where is the white house? in Washington D.C.

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Why did the bald man paint rabbits on his head? Because from a distance, they looked like hare.

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how many babies does it take to paint a room red. depends how hard you throw em.

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The saddest painting you will see is a mirror.

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As I’m lying down on the table for a radiation treatment, a small angel lands on one shoulder, a tiny devil on the other shoulder. And then the mind game begins: Angel: This won’t last long. You are perfectly lined up. The treatment only lasts a few mins. Remember, stay absolutely still. Devil: Did she just twitch? A: No. She didn’t twitch. D: I think I saw her

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My Xbox has been acting up lately… So I painted it black to make it run faster

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Boom boom acka-lacka lacka boom Boom boom acka-lacka boom boom

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