Paint jokes

Dulux have created a new type of paint its called Sue grey it covers up everything.

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1: hey 2:what 1:we’re outta paint 2:HMM (and thats how stop signs have extra paint.)

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A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do. “Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?” The blonde said, “How about 50 dollars?” The man agreed and told her that the paint and ladders that she might need were in the garage. The man’s wife, inside the house, heard the conversation and said to her husband, “Does she realize that the porch goes all the way around the house?” The man replied, “She should. She was standing on the porch.” A short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money. “You’re finished already?” he asked. “Yes,” the blonde answered, "and I had paint left over, so I gave it two coats. "Impressed, the man reached in his pocket for the $50. “And by the way,” the blonde added, “that’s not a Porch, it’s a Ferrari.”

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I asked my dad , Why did you paint rabbits on your bald head? He replied, Because I thought it would look like hares

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How many babies does it take to paint a house? Depends on how hard you throw them. your hairline looks like someone tried to erase it using microsoft paint

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What did the two paintings say after a long battle? Lets call this one a draw

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One time I saw a manatee all spray painted to look like a tiger. Needless to say, the first thing I yelled was, “OH! THE HUMANATEE!”

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall? It depends on how hard you throw them. What’s so great about dead baby jokes? They never get old.

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My Xbox has been acting up lately… So I painted it black to make it run faster

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r u a toaster? cuz i wanna take a bath wit u r u a knife? cuz u make me wanna kms r u a painting? cuz i hang u r u the flu? cuz u make me wanna hurl r u a newspaper? cuz u have new problems everyday r u the ground? cuz im six feet deep in u ;)

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall? - Depends on how big they are and how hard you throw them.

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A boat carrying red paint ando a boat carrying blue paint crashed into each other. The crews were marooned

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How many babys does it take to paint a wall red. Depends how hard you can throw them.

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What’s the difference between a painting and jesus? A painting only needs one nail.

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What do Painters and Prostitutes have in common? They’re both paid for a good finish…

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