I’m going to open a wellness center for ASD kids to be able to express themselves through music and painting. I will call it Artism!
I asked my dad , Why did you paint rabbits on your bald head? He replied, Because I thought it would look like hares
A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do. “Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?” The blonde said, “How about 50 dollars?” The man agreed and told her that the paint and ladders that she might need were in the garage. The man’s wife, inside the house, heard the conversation and said to her husband, “Does she realize that the porch goes all the way around the house?” The man replied, “She should. She was standing on the porch.” A short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money. “You’re finished already?” he asked. “Yes,” the blonde answered, "and I had paint left over, so I gave it two coats. "Impressed, the man reached in his pocket for the $50. “And by the way,” the blonde added, “that’s not a Porch, it’s a Ferrari.”
How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall? Depends on how hard you throw em
What’s the difference between school and prison. One is painted
"…This morning, I came out my front door to see my neighbor frantically trying to scrub off the word “PEDO” that had been spray-painted on his front window. “What’s been going on John? ”’ I asked. “f@cking kids,” came his mumbled reply. The dirty bastard!’
What did the house painter ask when he went to the abortion clinic? Where do you keep the cans of paint?
Dulux have created a new type of paint its called Sue grey it covers up everything.
How many babies does it take to paint a wall? One, if you throw it hard enough.
r u a toaster? cuz i wanna take a bath wit u r u a knife? cuz u make me wanna kms r u a painting? cuz i hang u r u the flu? cuz u make me wanna hurl r u a newspaper? cuz u have new problems everyday r u the ground? cuz im six feet deep in u ;)
As I’m lying down on the table for a radiation treatment, a small angel lands on one shoulder, a tiny devil on the other shoulder. And then the mind game begins: Angel: This won’t last long. You are perfectly lined up. The treatment only lasts a few mins. Remember, stay absolutely still. Devil: Did she just twitch? A: No. She didn’t twitch. D: I think I saw her
Q, Why did the elephant paint his toenails red? A, To hide up cherry trees. Q, What’s the loudest noise in the jungle? A, Giraffes eating cherries.
Kid starts shortcoming people in school, teacher asks “why are you doing that”. He responds, “I wanted to paint the walls red for Christmas”
What do Michaelangelo and Hitler have in common? They both used their brain to paint the ceiling
A guy meets a sex worker in a bar. She says, ‘This is your lucky night. I’ve got a special game for you. I’ll do absolutely anything you want for ?300 as long as you can say it in three words.’ The guy replies, ‘Hey, why not?’ He pulls his wallet out of his pocket and lays ? 300 on the bar, and says slowly. ‘Paint…my….house.’
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