What brand of paint Michael Jackson use to paint Neverland Ranch? Dutch Boy.
Always practice safe sex: paint an x on the sheep that kick.
I’m going to open a wellness center for ASD kids to be able to express themselves through music and painting. I will call it Artism!
A father and a son were painting pictures together, the son and father were drawing the exact same thing to a T and the son said “what happened to your hand?” looking at the scar tissue near the father’s knuckle, the father replied with “you know what happened, you were there.” the son continues to deny this until they both finish their paintings - they’re exactly the same. The father passes out for a few hours and wakes up to find that there’s only one painting.
Kid starts shortcoming people in school, teacher asks “why are you doing that”. He responds, “I wanted to paint the walls red for Christmas”
Did you hear about the dead artist Too many strokes
How many babies does it take to paint a wall? Well it depends how hard you can throw.
An artist is commissioned to create a painting celebrating Soviet-Polish friendship, to be called “Lenin in Poland.” When the painting is unveiled at the Kremlin, there is a gasp from the invited guests. The painting depicts Lenin’s wife naked in bed with Leon Trotsky. “But this is a travesty! Where is Lenin? ” Asks one of the guests. “Lenin is in Poland,” replies the painter.
you’re so fat you probably apply sunscreen with a paint roller What’s the difference between Jesus and a painting of Jesus? A painting only takes one nail to be hanged.
What did the house painter ask when he went to the abortion clinic? Where do you keep the cans of paint?
Why did the snail paint a big “S” on his car? Because he wanted people to say look at that S car go when he rolled by.
What is the difference between Jesus and a painting? It only takes 1 nail to hang a painting!
how do you confuse a blonde? paint yourself green and throw forks at her
A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do. “Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?” The blonde said, “How about 50 dollars?” The man agreed and told her that the paint and ladders that she might need were in the garage. The man’s wife, inside the house, heard the conversation and said to her husband, “Does she realize that the porch goes all the way around the house?” The man replied, “She should. She was standing on the porch.” A short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money. “You’re finished already?” he asked. “Yes,” the blonde answered, "and I had paint left over, so I gave it two coats. "Impressed, the man reached in his pocket for the $50. “And by the way,” the blonde added, “that’s not a Porch, it’s a Ferrari.”
One time I saw a manatee all spray painted to look like a tiger. Needless to say, the first thing I yelled was, “OH! THE HUMANATEE!”
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