Paint jokes

Always practice safe sex: paint an x on the sheep that kick.

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Q, Why did the elephant paint his toenails red? A, To hide up cherry trees. Q, What’s the loudest noise in the jungle? A, Giraffes eating cherries.

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Kid starts shortcoming people in school, teacher asks “why are you doing that”. He responds, “I wanted to paint the walls red for Christmas”

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A father and a son were painting pictures together, the son and father were drawing the exact same thing to a T and the son said “what happened to your hand?” looking at the scar tissue near the father’s knuckle, the father replied with “you know what happened, you were there.” the son continues to deny this until they both finish their paintings - they’re exactly the same. The father passes out for a few hours and wakes up to find that there’s only one painting.

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how many babies does it take to paint a wall? Depends how hard you throw them

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall? Depends on how hard you throw em

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What do Michelangelo and Kurt Cobain have in common? They both used their brains to paint the ceiling.

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What do Michaelangelo and Hitler have in common? They both used their brain to paint the ceiling

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall? One, if you throw it hard enough.

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Why did the snail paint a big “S” on his car? Because he wanted people to say look at that S car go when he rolled by.

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