Paint jokes

The saddest painting you will see is a mirror.

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As I’m lying down on the table for a radiation treatment, a small angel lands on one shoulder, a tiny devil on the other shoulder. And then the mind game begins: Angel: This won’t last long. You are perfectly lined up. The treatment only lasts a few mins. Remember, stay absolutely still. Devil: Did she just twitch? A: No. She didn’t twitch. D: I think I saw her

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How fast did Little Sally paint the barn red? As soon as the bomb exploded on her.

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An artist is commissioned to create a painting celebrating Soviet-Polish friendship, to be called “Lenin in Poland.” When the painting is unveiled at the Kremlin, there is a gasp from the invited guests. The painting depicts Lenin’s wife naked in bed with Leon Trotsky. “But this is a travesty! Where is Lenin? ” Asks one of the guests. “Lenin is in Poland,” replies the painter.

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Q, Why did the elephant paint his toenails red? A, To hide up cherry trees. Q, What’s the loudest noise in the jungle? A, Giraffes eating cherries.

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A boat carrying red paint ando a boat carrying blue paint crashed into each other. The crews were marooned

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What is blue but smells like red paint? Blue paint

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A guy meets a sex worker in a bar. She says, ‘This is your lucky night. I’ve got a special game for you. I’ll do absolutely anything you want for ?300 as long as you can say it in three words.’ The guy replies, ‘Hey, why not?’ He pulls his wallet out of his pocket and lays ? 300 on the bar, and says slowly. ‘Paint…my….house.’

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall red? It depends on how hard you through them. ????

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how many babies does it take to paint a room red. depends how hard you throw em.

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Why do elephants paint their toes red, blue, green, orange, Brown and yellow? So they can hide in a bag of M&Ms

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One time I saw a manatee all spray painted to look like a tiger. Needless to say, the first thing I yelled was, “OH! THE HUMANATEE!”

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What did the paintings name their daughter? Palette

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What was one cool thing about hitler he used to paint his thoughts on the wall with a gun

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall? Well it depends how hard you can throw.

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