What is the difference between Jesus and a painting? It only takes 1 nail to hang a painting!
Why did the bald man paint rabbits on his head? Because from a distance, they looked like hare.
Why do elephants paint their toes red, blue, green, orange, Brown and yellow? So they can hide in a bag of M&Ms
what do Bob Ross’s painting and the orphanage have in common. They’re both filled with happy little accidents…
"…This morning, I came out my front door to see my neighbor frantically trying to scrub off the word “PEDO” that had been spray-painted on his front window. “What’s been going on John? ”’ I asked. “f@cking kids,” came his mumbled reply. The dirty bastard!’
How many babies does it take to paint a wall? One, if you throw it hard enough.
How many babies does it take to paint a house? Depends on how hard you throw them. your hairline looks like someone tried to erase it using microsoft paint
What is blue but smells like red paint? Blue paint
Why did the painting go to jail? Because it was framed!
An artist is commissioned to create a painting celebrating Soviet-Polish friendship, to be called “Lenin in Poland.” When the painting is unveiled at the Kremlin, there is a gasp from the invited guests. The painting depicts Lenin’s wife naked in bed with Leon Trotsky. “But this is a travesty! Where is Lenin? ” Asks one of the guests. “Lenin is in Poland,” replies the painter.
A father and a son were painting pictures together, the son and father were drawing the exact same thing to a T and the son said “what happened to your hand?” looking at the scar tissue near the father’s knuckle, the father replied with “you know what happened, you were there.” the son continues to deny this until they both finish their paintings - they’re exactly the same. The father passes out for a few hours and wakes up to find that there’s only one painting.
My young son saw trump on TV he asked “Why is the man on TV painted orange?” I replied “Son when Russia pays that much for equipment, They don’t want it to rust”
How many babys does it take to paint a wall red. Depends how hard you can throw them.
How many baby’s does it take to paint a wall depends on how hard you throw it
How many babies does it take to paint a wall? Depends on how many you throw.
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