Paint jokes

r u a toaster? cuz i wanna take a bath wit u r u a knife? cuz u make me wanna kms r u a painting? cuz i hang u r u the flu? cuz u make me wanna hurl r u a newspaper? cuz u have new problems everyday r u the ground? cuz im six feet deep in u ;)

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Two kids walked into a bar, they were covered with blood. the bartender asked what happened. The youngest said “Well, we we’re trying to paint our basement but we threw the babies too hard”.

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What do Painters and Prostitutes have in common? They’re both paid for a good finish…

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What is the difference between Jesus and a painting? It only takes 1 nail to hang a painting!

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Why did the snail paint a big “S” on his car? Because he wanted people to say look at that S car go when he rolled by.

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall? One, if you throw it hard enough.

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If the red house is on the left, and the blue house on the right, where is the white house? in Washington D.C.

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these are all of my terrible jokes Two antennas met on a roof, they fell in love and got married. The ceremony was alright but the reception was amazing A jumper cable walks into a bar and the bartender said "I’ll serve you but don’t start anything A dyslexic man walks into a bra Two cannibals are eating a clown, one says "does this taste funny to you, I’m

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As I’m lying down on the table for a radiation treatment, a small angel lands on one shoulder, a tiny devil on the other shoulder. And then the mind game begins: Angel: This won’t last long. You are perfectly lined up. The treatment only lasts a few mins. Remember, stay absolutely still. Devil: Did she just twitch? A: No. She didn’t twitch. D: I think I saw her

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I asked my dad , Why did you paint rabbits on your bald head? He replied, Because I thought it would look like hares

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whats the difference between a gay guy and a freezer? the freezer doesn’t fart when you pull the meat out what doe Michelangelo and Kurt Cobain have in common? they both used there brains to paint the the walls

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