Paint jokes

Always practice safe sex: paint an x on the sheep that kick.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

What did the two paintings say after a long battle? Lets call this one a draw

-2 -1 0 +1 +2

A father and a son were painting pictures together, the son and father were drawing the exact same thing to a T and the son said “what happened to your hand?” looking at the scar tissue near the father’s knuckle, the father replied with “you know what happened, you were there.” the son continues to deny this until they both finish their paintings - they’re exactly the same. The father passes out for a few hours and wakes up to find that there’s only one painting.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

A guy meets a sex worker in a bar. She says, ‘This is your lucky night. I’ve got a special game for you. I’ll do absolutely anything you want for ?300 as long as you can say it in three words.’ The guy replies, ‘Hey, why not?’ He pulls his wallet out of his pocket and lays ? 300 on the bar, and says slowly. ‘Paint…my….house.’

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

whats the difference between a gay guy and a freezer? the freezer doesn’t fart when you pull the meat out what doe Michelangelo and Kurt Cobain have in common? they both used there brains to paint the the walls

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

How many babys does it take to paint a wall red. Depends how hard you can throw them.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

Kid starts shortcoming people in school, teacher asks “why are you doing that”. He responds, “I wanted to paint the walls red for Christmas”

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

How many babies does it take to paint a wall? 1 you just need too throw it hard enough.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2

What do Michelangelo and Kurt Cobain have in common? They both used their brains to paint the ceiling.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

What’s the difference between a painting and jesus? A painting only needs one nail.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

How many babies does it take to paint a wall? Depends on how many you throw.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

What is blue but smells like red paint? Blue paint

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

little Johnny likes to play with toy guns little Johnny paints them black little Johnny went to a gun store little johnny made a big mess the cemitary people were getting paid.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

Why did the bald man paint rabbits on his head? Because from a distance, they looked like hare.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

As I’m lying down on the table for a radiation treatment, a small angel lands on one shoulder, a tiny devil on the other shoulder. And then the mind game begins: Angel: This won’t last long. You are perfectly lined up. The treatment only lasts a few mins. Remember, stay absolutely still. Devil: Did she just twitch? A: No. She didn’t twitch. D: I think I saw her

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *
- up - << N E X T! >> random

© àíåêäîòîâ.net, 1997 - 2026