Poor jokes

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why are cheetahs the best animals? The cheetah is the fastest land animal in the world. They can reach a top speed of around 113 km per hour. A cheetah can accelerate from 0 to 113 km in just a few seconds. Cheetahs are extremely fast however they tire quickly and can only keep up their top speed for a few minutes before they are too tired to continue. Cheetahs are smaller than other members of the big cat family, weighing only 45 – 60 kilograms. One way to always recognise a cheetah is by the long, black lines which run from the inside of each eye to the mouth. These are usually called “tear lines” and scientists believe they help protect the cheetah’s eyes from the harsh sun and help them to see long distances. Cheetahs are the only big cat that cannot roar. They can purr though and usually purr most loudly when they are grooming or sitting near other cheetahs. While lions and leopards usually do their hunting at night, cheetahs hunt for food during the day. A cheetah has amazing eyesight during the day and can spot prey from 5 km away. Cheetahs cannot climb trees and have poor night vision. With their light body weight and blunt claws, cheetahs are not well designed to protect themselves or their prey. When a larger or more aggressive animal approaches a cheetah in the wild, it will give up its catch to avoid a fight. Cheetahs only need to drink once every three to four days.

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Old mother Hubbard went to the cupboard to get her poor dog a bone. But when she bent over, Rover took over, and gave her a bone of his own

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Studies have shown that in London, a person is stabbed 24 times a second. Poor bastard…

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We were so poor when we were kids, dad used to jerk off the dog to feed the cat. “This isn’t the first time my husband’s cheated on me, but you’re my sister! You’d better have a better explanation than this magic lamp.” “You know how you have to be specific making wishes? Well, I was really horny and asked the genie to have the world’s biggest penis…ended up with a concert pianist that’s seven foot tall. Nice guy. Next time I tried, I asked for the world’s biggest cock, that was fun but the poor rooster died. So I asked for the world’s biggest dick and that’s how I ended up on top of your husband.”

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What’s a perfect example of poor management? A prostitute getting pregnant.

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Being a man that is poor really isn’t that bad as long as you are involved in the world’s oldest profession and you are well-endowed and you are not homophobic and as long as you can suck the chrome off a tailpipe then you have nothing to worry about if you are desperate enough to pay your bills ?? ?? ?? ?? ?? ?? ?? ?? ?? ?? ?? lack of money is the root of all evil ?? ?? ?? ?? ?? ?? ?? ?? ?? ?? ?? ?? ?? ?? ?? ?? ?? ???? ?? ?? ?? ?? ?? ?? ???? ??

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Just before Lockdown began, a woman took her 15 yr old son Tom, and 14, 16 and 18 yr old daughters Sally, Mary, and Annie and went to the family cabin in the mountains to wait it out, while her husband stayed in town as an essential worker. The weekly family zoom call went well enough…until the 8th week when the father noticed the 14 year old was looking

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Someone in London is stabbed every two minutes. Poor guy. What’s a homeless persons favorite cookie? Pooreo’s

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So I went to my friends funeral today, As we were all leaving a kid put a get well soon card next to my friends grave ‘poor kid’

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My mother wanted to test my responsibility and wanted me to cook dinner for the family to help mean understand how it feels to constantly cook for a whole family. So me with my horrible humor decided to make a giant joke for when dinner time came around and so I just got four plates and set them in front of my family and I then said, “Here you are a fine African meal.” then everybody looked at me in disappointment and then I continued to say, “what poor taste?”

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