Poor jokes

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Jay and Andrew, are best friends whom are almost alike, the difference between them both is Jay is poor and well…Andrew on the other hand is suck-a-dick-poor. Let me explain, Jay wakes-up in his room, walks to the kitchen and asks his mom Lisa (I call her Lisa now btw) if there is anything to eat, “No bitch !” She replies, so Jay drinks a glass of milk and goes back to bed. Now Andrew…wakes-up jumps out of bed and he’s in the kitchen, he sees his mom fixing some for work, after a long hard night of giving her husband blue-balls, “Anything left for me Mother?” Andrew asks “Sorry Honey, I have to eat to put food on the table and to get the running again.” *so she goes to work taking her time * Andrew sits by his bedside and says to himself “Man…I’d suck a dick for some water right now.” his mom storms back after hearing what he had said "I’ll buy you a soda if u do my first customer for me!!! "

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Today I donated my watch, phone, and $500 to a poor guy. You wouldn’t believe the happiness I felt as he slid the pistol back into his pocket.

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Flag of Congo - Kinshasa @osowxvyy I was in Portugal enjoying my lunch when I saw a man choking! i wanted to save him but a local stopped me. “that’s Penandes, he always chokes when it matters most and ghosts in big games.” True enough, Penandes’ Ghost emerged from his body! Poor Penandes, may he get well soon!

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Poor Bubba got burnt up so bad in a house fire that the coroner needed someone to identify the body. So Bubbas two best friends the three were inseparable agreed… The first friend said hard to tell can you turn him over the coroner look perplexed but did so nope that’s not Bubba. The second friend said he’s burnt up pretty bad can you roll him over again the coroner didn’t understand but rolled him over anyway, nope that’s not him. Pretty confused the coroner asked how can you tell its not him by rolling him over? well you see Bubba had two assholes, Impossible the coroner replied. The friends said I don’t know but everytime we went to town everyone would say here comes Bubba with them to assholes.

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Old mother Hubbard went to the cupboard to get her poor dog a bone. But when she bent over, Rover took over, and gave her a bone of his own

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I see a poor guy. Mini me be like- mama can I giwve mwy spare money to him. ?? and my mum sais yes so I give my money and home feeling SO NICE while MY MOM knows he’s going to spend it on DRUGS we go back tomorrow and then after we go to the same place and then I see him with drugs. Me- what I think fck what I do ??.

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We were so poor when we were kids, dad used to jerk off the dog to feed the cat. “This isn’t the first time my husband’s cheated on me, but you’re my sister! You’d better have a better explanation than this magic lamp.” “You know how you have to be specific making wishes? Well, I was really horny and asked the genie to have the world’s biggest penis…ended up with a concert pianist that’s seven foot tall. Nice guy. Next time I tried, I asked for the world’s biggest cock, that was fun but the poor rooster died. So I asked for the world’s biggest dick and that’s how I ended up on top of your husband.”

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stranger. do you want a lollipop. kid. no i hate lolipops so yeah and you are not my daddy.

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