One afternoon, a man was walking to a bar after work. Across the street, an Irish nun stood there waving her arms at the man. “Look at this poor drunkard! The Lord does not love him! He will be sent to Hell!” the nun shouted. The man walked over to the nun. “Hey! I had a hard day at work! I was going to get ONE beer! Have you ever even tried a drink before?” the man asked. The nun looked down and shook her head. “Well, if you tried it, you would probably like it! Would you want to try something?” the man asked. The nun replied, “Okay, only one thing.” “What would you like?” asked the man. He offered her beer and whiskey, but she declined. “How about a little gin?” the man concluded. “Okay, sure. But, can you ask them to put it in a mug so people don’t see what I’m drinking?” asked the nun. “Fine,” the man walks into the bar and waves to the bartender. “Hey, can I have a bottle of beer and a bit of gin? Also, can that be in a mug?” asked the man. The bartender looked up, with fury in his eyes. “Don’t tell me that damn nun is out there again!” the bartender said.
A police officer writes a ticket for a car not being parked correctly. The driver asks why. When he realizes he is parked poorly, he responds “Oh. I’m terribly sorry. You see, I’m so gay I can’t even park straight.”
Those poor kids at Sandy Hook, all they wanted was books. Instead, they got magazines
I know this is a really bad poem but I’ll do it anyway cuz I have nothing else to do. Twas so pretty a night, with people all asleep. Everyone’s dreaming of that candy apple treat, and a palace. But alas! No it’s all a dream. Even eating ice cream, it’s all a dream! Why can’t I have this? Why can’t I have that? BUT NO! It’s just hitting you like a bat. YOU JUST HAVE TO HAVE IT, you say to yourself. All for me, all for me, and exedra. it goes on and on. But why wish for riches? Your already rich enough? If you have a device, then take my advise, if you were poor you would have spent the money on food, like honey, not something that… OF ALL THINGS IS GOOGLE! Like I said, it’s really bad. :(
This homeless lady called me ugly so I told her “ok then imma just go on home”
If I was in a room with Khalid Sheikh Mohammed, Hitler, and my greatest enemy I would poor out the bullets and beat my enemy with the gun.
Once upon a time, there were three kingdoms, all bordering on the same lake. For centuries, these kingdoms had fought over an island in the middle of that lake. One day, they decided to have it out, once and for all. The first kingdom was quite rich, and sent an army of 25 knights, each with three squires. The night before the battle, the knights jousted
I’s so poor that I had to rob a food bank for a loaf of bread.
Why are quantum physicists so poor at sex? – Because when they find the position, they can’t find the momentum, and when they have the momentum, they can’t find the position.
kids- its time for dora kids-YAY nick jr host- today Dora is going on a big adventure with Grandma Swiper- hello kids i am trying to find my way to Diego’s will you please help me Kids- where’s dora Swiper- she’s under htm title=' Everybody- SWIPER NO SWIPING Swiper - AH MAN!'>cardiac arrest kids - poor dora Everybody- SWIPER NO SWIPING Swiper - AH MAN!!
Yo mama’s so poor I knocked on her front door of her house and realised I was already outside her backyard!
ME: when I saw an orphan on the street in rags also me: are u okay orphan: yeah what gave it way ME: because you have no family
Someone in London is stabbed every two minutes. Poor guy. What’s a homeless persons favorite cookie? Pooreo’s
Your so poor not even dollar tree has your prices
Poor kids in American schools they want books, but all they get MAGAZEENS
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