What do you call an alligator with a vest? An investigator.
Confucius say, man who runs behind car will get exhausted, but man who runs in front of car will get tired.
When a family friend passed away, my granddaughter took her three-year-old son to visit the widow. As they approached the front door, she whispered to the boy, “Make sure to tell her how sorry you are. ” He whispered back, “Why? I didn’t kill him.”
I’ve never worn my gay sweater, it hasn’t come out of the closet yet
If trees could kill you, they wood.
Why were the Middle Ages called the Dark Ages? Because there were too many knights.
I went for a job interview today and the manager said, “We’re looking for someone who is responsible.” “Well, I’m your man.” I replied, “In my last job, whenever anything went wrong, they said I was responsible.”
When the chair was invented, the inventor’s friend wanted to know what it did. The inventor replied: ‘You might want to sit down for this.’
Dont trust atoms they make up everything.
What do you call 100 rabbits walking backwards? A receding hare line. How do you cut ancient Rome in half? With a pair of Caesars.
Two windmills are standing in a field and one asks the other, “What kind of music do you like?” – The other says, “I’m a big metal fan.”
What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo? – One is really heavy, and the other is a little lighter.
I accidentally drank a little food colouring last night. I ended up dying inside.
My friend gave me sugar for my birthday, she thought it was cheap I thought it was pretty sweet
I told the doctor I didn’t want a brain surgery. But he changed my mind.
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