I named my dog 5-Miles so now I tell people I walk 5-Miles everyday
How do trees get online? – They just log in.
Why was the ocean so blue? Because the island never waved back.
“Doctor, there’s a patient on line 1 that says he’s invisible” “Well, tell him I can’t see him right now.”
Two windmills are standing in a field and one asks the other, “What kind of music do you like?” – The other says, “I’m a big metal fan.”
New Teslas don’t come with a new car smell they come with an Elon Musk
I never wanted to believe that my Dad was stealing from his job as a road worker. But when I got home, all the signs were there.
If drinking alcohol makes you an alcoholic, does drinking fanta make you fantastic?
A prisoner was told how he’ll be executed. Needless to say, he was shocked.
Have you ever tried eating a clock? It’s really time-consuming, especially if you go for seconds.
What do you call a nose without a body? – Nobody knows.
My boyfriend just broke up with me for talking about video games too much. what a stupid thing to Fallout 4.
Claustrophobic people are more productive thinking out of the box.
Will glass coffins be a success? – Remains to be seen.
I once ate a watch. It was time consuming.
RUS | ENG
