Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The ceremony wasn’t much, but the reception was excellent. There’s a movie about constipation. It hasn’t come out yet.
How does a fish always know how much they weigh? – Because they have their own scales.
little johnny was siting in class one day and the teacher was talking about life and ask him " little johnny how do you want your wife to be like" and he answered " like the moon" and the teacher said " that’s such a beautiful answer because it calm and peaceful " and little htm title=' appears at night and disappears in the morning'>johnny said " no because it appears at night and disappears in the morning"
I would tell you a construction pun, but I’m still working on it
If trees could kill you, they wood.
There was a kidnapping at school… Don?t worry, he woke up.
If you’re waiting for the waiter at a restaurant, aren’t you the waiter?
If drinking alcohol makes you an alcoholic, does drinking fanta make you fantastic?
I was addicted to the hokey pokey… but thankfully, I turned myself around.
I lost my job at the bank on my very first day. – A woman asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her over.
I went for a job interview today and the manager said, “We’re looking for someone who is responsible.” “Well, I’m your man.” I replied, “In my last job, whenever anything went wrong, they said I was responsible.”
I’ve just been fired from the clock making factory after all those extra hours I put in.
Why were the Middle Ages called the Dark Ages? Because there were too many knights.
What do you call a Russian tree? Dimitree
Why did the library book go to the doctor? – It needed to be checked out.
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