A man walks into a bar. Sits down and asks the bartender for 12 shots of vodka. The bartender asks what the man is celebrating for and said he’ll give one shot on the house. The man said I celebrating my first blowjob. And nah if 12 shots doesn’t get the taste out of my mouth nothing will.
When I went to heaven I saw Steven hawking standing there I asked why he isn’t gone into heaven yet he said there is stairs
A guy is bankrupt so he gives his son a duck and tells him to go sell it for as much as he can.so the kid goes on the street to sell the duck. A prostitute walks by and says I’ll f–ck you for $10. The boy says I would but I don’t have any money. She says ok I’ll take the duck instead. He says ok so they go up stairs and f—ck. The prostitute says that’s the best sex I’ve ever had. I’ll give you the duck back and we can do it again. So they do and he gets the duck back. But when they go downstairs the duck gets hit by a car. And the guy that hit the duck feels so bad that he gives the kid $25. So when he gets home his father asks him why he looks so tired. The boy says well I got a f—ck for a duck, a duck for a f—ck, and $25 for a f—cked up f@ck.
Even people who are good for nothing have the capacity to bring a smile to your face, for instance when you push them down the stairs.
I lost a race with a handicapped person today. The problem was the race was all stairs. Gravity sure is fast
How do Chinese people get their names? Their parent’s throw woks down the stairs and name their children after the sound it makes,
I guess grandpa took the elevator to heaven. he definitely didn’t make it up the stairs
do nothing about people falling down the stairs, it will keep happening put razor blades on the stairs, it will be their last time falling down the stairs
What’s black, white, and red? A nun that fell down a 100 flight of stairs. What’s black, white, and laughing? The nun that pushed her!
What do you call a cow that fell up the stairs? Ground beef
Why was the stair case so sad? Because every one walks on them.
A mom and her son are taking a walk when they pass a homeless man fapping, the boy asks “what is that man doing?”. The mom says “Making pizza” trying to turn him away. The son sees a dog f@cking another dog and he asks the same thing. She says “Making extra cheese”. When they pass a window and see a couple doing it, he asks the same thing. She says “Ordering the pizza”. Later that day the mother says to the father “I think I want some to order some pizza with extra cheese tonight, dont know why that sounds good”. So that night the husband who was watching tv yelled up the stairs “wanna order some pizza !?” The mother replied “DONT WORRY IM MAKING SOME” the sons voice followed " IM ADDING EXTRA CHEESE"
Think about you are so f@cking high that you walking to a lift and inside the lift are stairs ????????
One day a guy named Carson is called a jerk and he says "I went to a party with my girlfriend and this random guy walks up to us and says can I borrow your girlfriend for a 30 minutes I say yes and he takes her up stairs. It was not only 30 minutes but a hour. When she came back down she was out of breath so I knew it was a pretty intense conversation.this happens about 3 more times that night. But as I was saying only a nice guy would let his girlfriend make friends with other guys ????
Why did the loo roll roll down the stairs - to get to the bottom What do you call a bear with no teeth - a gummy bear! !! What’s wite and black and red allover? A nun that fell down stairs
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