Stairs jokes

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What’s Black and sits at the top of the stairs? Stephen Hawkins in a house fire.

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A man walks into a bar. Sits down and asks the bartender for 12 shots of vodka. The bartender asks what the man is celebrating for and said he’ll give one shot on the house. The man said I celebrating my first blowjob. And nah if 12 shots doesn’t get the taste out of my mouth nothing will.

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A is for Amy who fell down the stairs. B is for Basil assaulted by bears. C is for Clara who wasted away. D is for Desmond thrown out of a sleigh. E is for Ernest who choked on a peach. F is for Fanny sucked dry by a leech. G is for George smothered under a rug. H is for Hector done in by a thug. I is for Ida who drowned in a lake. J is for James who took lye by mistake. K is for Kate who was struck with an axe. L is for Leo who swallowed some tacks. M is for Maud who was swept out to sea. N is for Neville who died of ennui. O is for Olive run through with an awl. P is for Prue trampled flat in a brawl. Q is for Quentin who sank in a mire. R is for Rhoda consumed by a fire. S is for Susan who perished of fits. T is for Titus who flew into bits. U is for Una who slipped down a drain. V is for Victor squashed under a train. W is for Winnie embedded in ice. X is for Xerxes devoured by mice. Y is for Yorick whose head was knocked in. Z is for Zillah who drank too much gin

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A mom and her son are taking a walk when they pass a homeless man fapping, the boy asks “what is that man doing?”. The mom says “Making pizza” trying to turn him away. The son sees a dog f@cking another dog and he asks the same thing. She says “Making extra cheese”. When they pass a window and see a couple doing it, he asks the same thing. She says “Ordering the pizza”. Later that day the mother says to the father “I think I want some to order some pizza with extra cheese tonight, dont know why that sounds good”. So that night the husband who was watching tv yelled up the stairs “wanna order some pizza !?” The mother replied “DONT WORRY IM MAKING SOME” the sons voice followed " IM ADDING EXTRA CHEESE"

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What do you get when you put a baby in a box of razor blades, and throw it down the stairs? An erection!

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I was thinking of starting up a stair company, but there was too many steps to it.

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Why was the stair case so sad? Because every one walks on them.

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One dark stormy night when i was 8 years old I woke up in the middle of the night busting to pee, half asleep i walked down the stairs and toward the bathroom and heard a strange whirring sound that sounded like a ghost. When I opened the door i felt a strange cool breeze and the light came on automatically and the ghostly sound stopped, terrified I did what I had to and went back to bed. The next 3 nights the same thing happened and finally i decided i had to tell my mom no matter how hard to believe it sounded. The next night I woke up I went into my parents room and woke my mom up and said, “you have to come with me and see this it’s really important,” Half asleep she murmured, "oh what is it can’t it wait until the morning?’ I pleaded, “no you have to come see, our bathroom is haunted by a ghost when I go in the middle of the night I can hear a ghost sound then when i open the door I feel the cold as it swoops through me and the light comes on automatically. ” She yawned and said, “oh so that’s who’s been peeing in the refrigerator.”

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%%Why didn’t the girl like stairs? They were always up to something.

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There’s a one-story house in which everything is yellow. Yellow walls, yellow doors, yellow furniture. What color are the stairs? Answer: There aren’t any—it’s a one-story house.

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