Stairs jokes

Someone threatened to break into my house but I am in a wheelchair, I said sure and I moved everything upstairs and sat on the stairs so he couldn’t steal anything.

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I saw some kids bullying a kid in a wheelchair. i grabbed the kid, pushed him down the stairs and said,“gta physics.”

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A mom and her son are taking a walk when they pass a homeless man fapping, the boy asks “what is that man doing?”. The mom says “Making pizza” trying to turn him away. The son sees a dog f@cking another dog and he asks the same thing. She says “Making extra cheese”. When they pass a window and see a couple doing it, he asks the same thing. She says “Ordering the pizza”. Later that day the mother says to the father “I think I want some to order some pizza with extra cheese tonight, dont know why that sounds good”. So that night the husband who was watching tv yelled up the stairs “wanna order some pizza !?” The mother replied “DONT WORRY IM MAKING SOME” the sons voice followed " IM ADDING EXTRA CHEESE"

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A man walks into a bar. Sits down and asks the bartender for 12 shots of vodka. The bartender asks what the man is celebrating for and said he’ll give one shot on the house. The man said I celebrating my first blowjob. And nah if 12 shots doesn’t get the taste out of my mouth nothing will.

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One dark stormy night when i was 8 years old I woke up in the middle of the night busting to pee, half asleep i walked down the stairs and toward the bathroom and heard a strange whirring sound that sounded like a ghost. When I opened the door i felt a strange cool breeze and the light came on automatically and the ghostly sound stopped, terrified I did what I had to and went back to bed. The next 3 nights the same thing happened and finally i decided i had to tell my mom no matter how hard to believe it sounded. The next night I woke up I went into my parents room and woke my mom up and said, “you have to come with me and see this it’s really important,” Half asleep she murmured, "oh what is it can’t it wait until the morning?’ I pleaded, “no you have to come see, our bathroom is haunted by a ghost when I go in the middle of the night I can hear a ghost sound then when i open the door I feel the cold as it swoops through me and the light comes on automatically. ” She yawned and said, “oh so that’s who’s been peeing in the refrigerator.”

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I went out with this girl the other night, she wore this real slinky number. She especially looked great going down the stairs. what goes up stairs but doesnt move, stairs! laugh now!

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A man enters a bar with some friends, and they all sit down to a drink. After not too long, a man with glasses comes through the front door saying “Anyone who wants to fly off the third story balcony, come upstairs with me!” When no one listens, he shrugs, and everyone watches him go up the stairs. Ten seconds later, he comes back in through the door, again saying “Anyone who wants to fly off the third story balcony, come upstairs with me!” Everyone is amazed, and a few people leave to go fly with him. He keeps coming back into the bar, bringing more and more patrons to join him. The man at the bar is about to join in when the bartender finally sighs. "For the last time Superman, get out of my bar, you’re drunk and the only person here that can fly! " The man with glasses frowns. “Where did all the others go, then?”

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There’s a one-story house in which everything is yellow. Yellow walls, yellow doors, yellow furniture. What color are the stairs? Answer: There aren’t any—it’s a one-story house.

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Q: How do Chinese people name their kids. A: They throw pots and pans down the stairs and see what noises they make

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What’s black, white, and red? A nun that fell down a 100 flight of stairs. What’s black, white, and laughing? The nun that pushed her!

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