I used to have a phobia of pogo-sticks. Those things always made me jump.
Q: How did the mobile phone propose to his girlfriend? A: He gave her a ring. Q: What’s the most popular video game at the bread bakery? A: Knead for Speed. Q: Why is Santa good at karate? A: He has a black belt. Q: Where do werewolves buy Christmas gifts? A: Beast Buy. Q: What did the snowflake say to the road? A: Let’s stick together. Q: Why did the turkey
A cop sees an old woman carrying two large sacks. One of the sacks has a hole and is leaking 20 dollar bills. The cop asks the woman, “Where did an old lady like you get all of that money?” She replies, “Well, there’s a golf course behind my house and when golfers need to go to the bathroom, they stick their penis through a hole in my fence and pee into my yard. It became a problem because it kills the flowers.” The cop asks, “So what did you do about it?” The old lady says, “I get my hedge clippers and I wait behind the fence. When a golfer sticks his penis through the fence, I grab ahold of it and shout GIVE ME $20 OR IT COMES CLEAN OFF!” “That seems fair enough,” the cop says, “so what’s in the other sack?” The old lady replies with, “Not everyone pays…”
I go into get a prostate exam, I’m nervous but the doctor says its all natural and needs to be done. So he pulls down my pants and sticks one finger up my ass. I feel it go deeper inside , feeling for abnormalities. That’s when I realize his hands are on my shoulders.
What do u get when u cross a stick and a dog a run away joke…
What is the difference between peanut butter and a dead baby? One sticks to the roof of you mouth, while the other one doesn’t!
Asian pregnancy test: Stick a Rubik cube into vagina. Wait 30 seconds, if it’s solved then there’s a little Asian in there.
Whats long brown and sticky? A stick.
In school, we learned that squirrels stick their nuts in trees. So, just like my uncle dave…
What is the origins of the glory hole? The origins can be found in San Francisco, California where historians claim that a meat thermometer was sticking out of a hole from both sides especially the divider between bathroom stalls inside the men’s restroom used for a anonymous massage for gay men by gay men in San Francisco, CA in the wild west. I have good faith in the glue police. They usually stick to their word.
Q:Why did Tigger stick his head in the toilet? A:To find Pooh!
Whats brown and sticky? … A stick. Get your head out of the gutters…Jeez.
I despise lumberjacks. They are always barking up the wrong tree, all bark and no bite. They just need to leaf people a lone or stick with something nicer
What’s tree plus tree? Sticks! (Three plus three = six)
The other day, my wife asked me to pass her lipstick but I accidentally passed her a glue stick. She still isn’t talking to me.
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