Stick jokes

What does a stick say when it falls down- Wood you help me up

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A kid has an older brother that’s a very popular lifeguard. He sees all of the people that talk to his brother but he’s fairly ignored. So one day he asks his brother why everyone likes him so much. His older brother says “well all you gotta do is stick a potato in your pocket”. So the next day the boy goes back to the pool and he has a potato in his pocket, but everyone is avoiding him even more now. At the end of the day he goes up to his brother and asks why it didn’t work, and his brother says “dumbass, you were supposed to put it in the front!”

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What’s brown and sticky? A stick.

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Hey God what are you making? Just a wooden stick that lights on fire sounds like a match made in heaven

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What do call a stick with a string on the end of it… A fshingpole

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“Sticks and stones break my bones.” a crowbar does it so much quicker

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Q: How did the mobile phone propose to his girlfriend? A: He gave her a ring. Q: What’s the most popular video game at the bread bakery? A: Knead for Speed. Q: Why is Santa good at karate? A: He has a black belt. Q: Where do werewolves buy Christmas gifts? A: Beast Buy. Q: What did the snowflake say to the road? A: Let’s stick together. Q: Why did the turkey

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I was in an argument with a “friend” at school. he said, “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me”… …so I threw a dictionary at him.

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I used to have a phobia of pogo-sticks. Those things always made me jump.

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Sticks and stones may break my bones but there will always be something that offends feminists.

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I go into get a prostate exam, I’m nervous but the doctor says its all natural and needs to be done. So he pulls down my pants and sticks one finger up my ass. I feel it go deeper inside , feeling for abnormalities. That’s when I realize his hands are on my shoulders.

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What’s sticky and brown? A stick!

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What is the difference between peanut butter and a dead baby? One sticks to the roof of you mouth, while the other one doesn’t!

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The other day, my wife asked me to pass her lipstick but I accidentally passed her a glue stick. She still isn’t talking to me.

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Q:Why did Tigger stick his head in the toilet? A:To find Pooh!

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