I wanted to learn how to drive a stick shift, but I couldn’t find a manual.
Three nuns are on their way up to heaven after having been involved in a terrible minibus crash on the Italian Alps that killed them and the driver (he went the other direction!) As they’re approaching the Pearly Gates to be interview by St. Peter, they are requested by an attendant to form a single line and wait. Sister Agnes is first, Sister Bernadette behind her and Sister Carmel on the end. Finally, St. Peter approaches the nuns to determine their worthiness for entry to Heaven. He says to the first nun : “Sister Agnes, have you ever seen the penis of a man”? Sister Agnes bursts into tears and says : Yes, St. Peter, I have, but please don’t let this prevent me from entering the Kingdom of Heaven". St. Peter says : “Never fear, my child. Say a thousand Hail Marys and then go over to that font of Holy Water and wash your eyes out, then you shall enter the Kingdom of Heaven”. Sister Carmel sees what’s going on and taps Sister Bernadette on the shoulder, somewhat urgently. “Pssst - hey Bernie”!, she says. Sister Bernadette asks : “What is it?” A little annoyed. Sister Carmel says : “Do you mind if we swap places”? Sister Bernadette replies : “What for”? Sister Carmel says : “Well, I wouldn’t mind gargling before you stick your ass in there”!
I don’t get why people don’t like my abortion jokes. Do they have a stick up their ass? Wait, that’s the other hole.
I used to have a phobia of pogo-sticks. Those things always made me jump.
I walked into a store and I pointed a stick to the roof and i said"this is a stick up"
how did riahna know that chris brown was cheating on her…there was a different color of lip stick on his knuckles
I haven’t talked to my wife in three weeks. – I didn’t want to interrupt her. A female class teacher was having a problem with a boy in her class in Grade 3… The boy said, “Madam, I should be in Grade 4. I am smarter than my sister & she’s in Grade 4”. The Madam had heard enough and took the boy to the principal.The principal decided to test the boy with some
A man ate a glue stick. It tasted bad. He died.hahahahah
so this blind man was walking down the street with his stick right. and he walked passed this fish market, he took a deep breath and said " WWOAAH GOODMORNING LADIES"
“Sticks and stones break my bones.” a crowbar does it so much quicker
A teacher asked her class “what is sex?” Little Johnny got up and said: “Sex is a temptation Causes by a sensation Where the boy sticks his location Into a girls destination To increase the population Of the next generation Did you get my explanation? Or do you need a demonstration The teacher faints By:Xzavier
Why are blind people so good ad being a jedi? They are always swinging a stick
I was at my drumming lesson and I accidentally dropped my drum stick when my sister made a terrible joke. KA-DOOM-CHA
What does a stick say when it falls down- Wood you help me up
The IRS came to this mans house one day and told him to come in the next morning to talk about all the money thats been coming in and out of his bank account. So the man though maybe I need to get a lawyer. So he and his lawyer get to the IRS’s office and sit down and the agent said there has been a large amount of money flowing in and out of your account and
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