Stick jokes

why cant emos come out of the closet to their parents? because they wont be there to stick around

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A man decides on a day that it is time to buy a pet. He goes to the pet store, looks around and sees a beautiful parrot, sitting quietly on a stick in his cage. Yet the beast has no feet and paws. “What is the matter with you?” the man thinks aloud. “Well, that’s how I was born, I’m actually a faulty parrot” says the bird. “Haha,” the man laughs, “it seems like that

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I despise lumberjacks. They are always barking up the wrong tree, all bark and no bite. They just need to leaf people a lone or stick with something nicer

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whats the difference between McDonald’s and a priest nothing… they both stick their meat in ten year old buns

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What does five dicks sticking out of the glory holes and five udders both have in common? they are ready for milking

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What’s tree plus tree? Sticks!

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The IRS came to this mans house one day and told him to come in the next morning to talk about all the money thats been coming in and out of his bank account. So the man though maybe I need to get a lawyer. So he and his lawyer get to the IRS’s office and sit down and the agent said there has been a large amount of money flowing in and out of your account and

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Whats brown and sticky? … A stick. Get your head out of the gutters…Jeez.

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I walked into a store and I pointed a stick to the roof and i said"this is a stick up"

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A German, an Australian, and a Mexican are on a plane. They say that they can tell where they are by sticking their hands out of the pane. The German sticks his hand out and says “We are in Germany.” The others ask, “How do you know,” the German says, “Because it’s so cold.” Then the Australian sticks his hand out and says “We are in Australia,” the others ask “How do you know,” he replies “Because it’s so warm.” Then the Mexican sticks his hand out and back in. He says " We are in Mexico, " the others ask “How do you know,” he says " Because my watch is gone"

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Did you hear about the dyslexic wanna-be bank robber? He walked in and yelled "HANDS UP, THIS IS A MOTHER STICKING F##K UP! The lucky idiot got away because nobody could stop laughing!

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Why are blind people so good ad being a jedi? They are always swinging a stick

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How can toilet paper decorate your house Shit sticks everywhere

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A kid has an older brother that’s a very popular lifeguard. He sees all of the people that talk to his brother but he’s fairly ignored. So one day he asks his brother why everyone likes him so much. His older brother says “well all you gotta do is stick a potato in your pocket”. So the next day the boy goes back to the pool and he has a potato in his pocket, but everyone is avoiding him even more now. At the end of the day he goes up to his brother and asks why it didn’t work, and his brother says “dumbass, you were supposed to put it in the front!”

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I don’t get why people don’t like my abortion jokes. Do they have a stick up their ass? Wait, that’s the other hole.

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