The other day, my wife asked me to pass her lipstick but I accidentally passed her a glue stick. She still isn’t talking to me.
How can toilet paper decorate your house Shit sticks everywhere
So a bear and a rabbit are in field, the bear turns to the rabbit and asks, “does your poop stick to your fur?” And the rabbit replied, “no” and the bear then picks up the rabbit and wipes his butt.
A cop sees an old woman carrying two large sacks. One of the sacks has a hole and is leaking 20 dollar bills. The cop asks the woman, “Where did an old lady like you get all of that money?” She replies, “Well, there’s a golf course behind my house and when golfers need to go to the bathroom, they stick their penis through a hole in my fence and pee into my yard. It became a problem because it kills the flowers.” The cop asks, “So what did you do about it?” The old lady says, “I get my hedge clippers and I wait behind the fence. When a golfer sticks his penis through the fence, I grab ahold of it and shout GIVE ME $20 OR IT COMES CLEAN OFF!” “That seems fair enough,” the cop says, “so what’s in the other sack?” The old lady replies with, “Not everyone pays…”
Two homeless alcoholics want to get drunk but don’t have enough money for even the cheapest drinks in any bar. So one of them devises a clever plan : he tells his friend “We should buy a hot-dog sausage with the last of our money and stick it down my pants, then drink a load of drinks but then when the bill comes you get down and suck on the hot-dog and it’ll look like you’re sucking on my dick so then we’ll get thrown out without paying and we can just go to another bar and do the same thing again”. His friend agrees so they buy the hot-dog, stick it down the first dude’s pants, go to the bar and then the second dude begins to suck on the hot-dog as agreed. They are thrown out and hit another four bars this way. In the end, as they lie drunk on the floor in some alleyway, the second guy says, “Well, what a great night. Free beers in five different bars!” The first guy says “Yeah! Especially since the hot-dog fell out before we even reached the first bar!”
Asian pregnancy test: Stick a Rubik cube into vagina. Wait 30 seconds, if it’s solved then there’s a little Asian in there.
A man walks into a bar with an alligator and a stick. He walks up to the bartender and offers to put on a show for the bar’s patrons in exchange for a drink. The bartender agrees, so he pulls down his pants, sticks his dick in the alligators mouth and starts whacking it with the stick. After he’s done and gets his drink he asks if anyone else would like a go. A lady gets up and says yes she would like a go, asks that he doesn’t hit her with the stick.
What is the difference between peanut butter and a dead baby? One sticks to the roof of you mouth, while the other one doesn’t!
What’s a foot on one end, a foot on the other end, and a foot in the middle. A meter stick
I was at my drumming lesson and I accidentally dropped my drum stick when my sister made a terrible joke. KA-DOOM-CHA
why cant emos come out of the closet to their parents? because they wont be there to stick around
whats the definition of rude ? sticking a blind man in a corner and telling him to find his wife
I used to have a phobia of pogo-sticks. Those things always made me jump.
Shorts go up,Pants go down Body to Body, Skin to Skin When its sniff, Stick it in It goes in dry and comes out wet And the longer its in the stronger it gets it comes out dripping and starts to sag Its not what you think it is its a LIPTON TEA BAG Get your mind together
Why are blind people so good ad being a jedi? They are always swinging a stick
RUS | ENG
