Stick jokes

What’s tree + tree? Sticks! (Three + three = six)

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What do u get when u cross a stick and a dog a run away joke…

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Q: How did the mobile phone propose to his girlfriend? A: He gave her a ring. Q: What’s the most popular video game at the bread bakery? A: Knead for Speed. Q: Why is Santa good at karate? A: He has a black belt. Q: Where do werewolves buy Christmas gifts? A: Beast Buy. Q: What did the snowflake say to the road? A: Let’s stick together. Q: Why did the turkey

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join a band? A: So he could use his drumsticks. Q: What’s a math teacher’s favorite winter sport? A: Figure skating. Q: Where do werewolves buy Christmas gifts? A: Beast Buy. Q: What did the snowflake say to the road? A: Let’s stick together. Q: Why did the turkey join a band? A: So he could use his drumsticks. Q: What’s a math teacher’s favorite winter sport? A: Figure skating. Q: What’s a firefly’s favorite dance? A: The glitterbug. Q: Why are eyeshadow, lipstick, and mascara never mad at each other? A: Because they always make-up via GIPHY Q: Where do roses sleep at night? A: In their flowerbed Q: Why was the show bad at gymnastics? A: She was a flip-flop Q: What should you wear to a tea party? A: A t-shirt Q: What’s rain’s favorite accessory? A: A rainbow Q: Where does a sink go dancing? A: The Dish-co Q: What’s a princess’s favorite time? A: Knight time. Q: Why did the Genie get mad? A: Because he was rubbed the wrong way. Q: What’s a ballerina’s favorite type of bread? A: A bun. Q: What kind of dance was the frog prince best at? A: Hip hop. Q: What do bunnies like to do at the mall? A: Shop ‘til they hop. via GIPHY Q: How did the beauty school student do on her manicure test? A: She nailed it. Q: What is corn’s favorite music? A: Pop. Q: Why can’t Monday lift Saturday? A: It’s a weak day. Q: Why was the politician out of breath? A: He was running for office. Q: What is a soccer player’s favorite chemical element? A: Goooooooooooold! Q: Why did the fastest cat in class get kicked out of school? A: He was a cheetah. Q: Which state has the greatest number of jokes? A: Pennsylvania. Q: Where is the best place to sit when a submarine is diving? A: Inside. Q: Why did the lawyer show up in court in his underwear? A: He forgot his lawsuit. Q: Why was the teenager no longer allowed online without a license? A: He crashed the computer via GIPHY Q: What’s a ball that you don’t throw, shoot, eat, spit, bounce, or catch? A: An eyeball. Q: What do turtles, eggs, and beaches all have? A: Shells. Q: What time of year do people get injured the most? A: In the fall. Q: Why did the quarterback take the hardest classes? A: Because he knew he would pass. Q: Why did the musician throw away her table? A: Because it was flat. Q: Why didn’t the farmer’s son study medicine? A: Because he wanted to go into a different field? Q: What is the math teacher’s favorite dessert? A: Pi Q: Why was the princess in the emergency r

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A man decides on a day that it is time to buy a pet. He goes to the pet store, looks around and sees a beautiful parrot, sitting quietly on a stick in his cage. Yet the beast has no feet and paws. “What is the matter with you?” the man thinks aloud. “Well, that’s how I was born, I’m actually a faulty parrot” says the bird. “Haha,” the man laughs, “it seems like that

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parrot understands what I’m saying and even answers!” “I understand everything you say, I am extremely intelligent and very well educated,” says the bird. “Well, if you’re so smart then tell me how you can stay on your stick without legs.” “Well,” says the parrot, “it’s a bit embarrassing, but okay, I wrap my little parrot penis around the stick, like a hook, but I hide that with my thick feathers.” “Wow, you really understand everything I say, do not you?” “Yes, yes,” replies the bird, "and I speak Spanish and English fluently, I can speak on a level about almost everything, politics, religion, sport and philosophy and I specialize in bird science, you should buy me, I am also a very good friend for you. " The man looks at the price tag, 200 euros is on it. “Sorry, I can not afford that.” “Psst,” whispers the parrot as he beckons the man with his wing closer. "Nobody wants me because I do not have legs, just bid 25 euros and you can take me with you." The man offers 25 euros and walks 5 minutes later with the parrot out of the store. A few weeks pass. The parrot is sensational. He is fun and interesting, gives good advice, is sympathetic to everyone, in short; the perfect roommate and friend. One day the man comes home from work and the parrot says “Pssssssssssst” while he beckons his wing again. The man comes close to the cage. “I do not know if I should tell you this,” says the parrot, “but it’s about your wife and the postman.” “What!?” says the man. “Well, the postman came to the door and your wife greeted him in a nothing disguised nightgown and kissed him flat on the mouth.” “And then,” the man hisses, “What happened then?” “Well, the postman came in, grabbed her nightgown and started caressing her everywhere.” “My God,” says the now furious man, “And what else did they do?” “Then he took off her nightgown, went through his knees and started to lick her everywhere, starting at her breasts and getting further and further down.” “And then, what happened, what else did they do?” the man screams . “No idea,” says the papgaai, “I got a boner and thundered off my stick …”

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How do you punish Hellen Keller? you stick a toilet plunger in the toilet Why cant Helen Keller have kids? It went up to far

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when little johnny was about 3 he got curious and stuck his hand up a maniquins pants and his mom says no little johnny there is teeth up there that will bite off your hand little johnny thing oh no i cant do that again. a few years later he was 15 and he had a gf and they were making out and she says why dont you ever stick your hand up my pants he says on no my mom says there is teeth that will bite off my hand up there she says no there isnt just look little johnny looks and says well no wonder there aint no teeth by the way them gums look.

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I despise lumberjacks. They are always barking up the wrong tree, all bark and no bite. They just need to leaf people a lone or stick with something nicer

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A bus full of Nuns falls of a cliff and they all die. They arrive at the gates of heaven and meet St. Peter. St. Peter says to them “Sisters, welcome to Heaven. In a moment I will let you all though the pearly gates, but before I may do that, I must ask each of you a single question. ” St. Peter turns to the first Nun in the line and asks her “Sister, have you ever touched a penis?” The Sister Responds “Well… there was this one time… that I kinda sorta… touched one with the tip of my pinky finger…” St. Peter says “Alright Sister, now dip the tip of your pinky finger in the Holy Water, and you may be admitted.” and she did so. St. Peter now turns to the second nun and says “Sister, have you ever touched a penis?” “Well…. There was this one time… that I held one for a moment…” “Alright Sister, now just wash your hands in the Holy Water, and you may be admitted” and she does so. Now at this, there is a noise, a jostling in the line. It seems that one nun is trying to cut in front of another! St. Peter sees this and asks the Nun “Sister Susan, what is this? There is no rush!” Sister Susan responds “Well if I’m going to have to gargle this stuff, I’d rather do it before Sister Mary sticks her ass in it!”

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