Me and my friend got in to a fight I look straight forward and said look me in my eyes
I told my wife* she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked at me surprised *(P.S. I am not at that age plus I am as straight as an helix ruler)
Three friends are in a hotel room in Soviet Russia. The first two men open a bottle of vodka, while the third is tired and goes straight to bed. He is unable to sleep however, as his increasingly drunk friends tell political jokes loudly. After a while, the tired man gets frustrated and walks downstairs for a smoke. He stops in the lounge and asks the receptionist to bring tea to their room in five minutes. The man walks back into the room, joins the table, leans towards a power outlet and speaks into it: “Comrade major, we want some tea to room 62 please.” His friends laugh on the joke, until there is a knock on the door. The receptionist brings a teapot. His friends fall silent and pale, horrified of what they just witnessed. The party is dead, and the man goes to sleep. After a good night’s rest, the man wakes up, and notices his friends are gone. Surprised, he walks downstairs and asks the receptionist where they went. The nervous receptionist whispers that KGB came and took them before dawn. The man is horrified. He wonders why he was spared. The receptionist responds: “Well, comrade major did quite like your tea joke.”
My brother caught Covid last month. First I knew about it was when he speed-dialled me at 3am and gasped, ‘I can’t breathe, I can’t breathe !’ I just told him straight: ‘Bro… you really need to work on your George Floyd jokes.’
So Paul Walker made a rap cover. It is called straight out of windshield.
When I was in 4th grade, we wrote letters to kids in the hospital. I wrote: It is a bumpy road but soon it will be a straight path. Not many people know I was talking about their heart monitor.
Me: Gay puns are the best!! Also me: but im straight tho
You know we straight with doin your mom
I bought a rainbow gun but for some reason it doesn’t shoot straight
NWA: Straight Outta Compton Kobe Bryant: Straight Outta the Helicopter
what do you call a lazy gay? someone who comes straight out of the closet,and goes straight to the couch.
I met this kid and he was being bullied by 9 people. I Asked 1 whats going on. They all said another one to bully they all tried hitting me and then my mates which was like 15 of them came in and it was like war all over again.
why can’t lgbtq+ members be straight cause they are lgbtq they are loser
straight (DYM 26)
3 blonde sisters die and are told by an angel that in order for them to go to heaven they have to pass all 100 steps. But each step has a joke , each joke gets funnier and funnier. And in order to pass them all, you can’t laugh at any joke or else you go to hell. The blonde girls accept the offer. So the angel begins telling them the joke, one of the girls laughs at the 3rd step. The second blonde laugjhs halfway there. Finally, the last blonde was at the 100th step. The angel said ‘‘this is the last step if you laugh you will go straight to hell with your sisters and if you don’t you can pass. The blonde agrees and the angel starts to tell the joke, ‘‘What do you ca…’’ out of nowhere the blonde starts bursting out laughing. ‘‘Why are you laughing I haven’t even finished the joke yet’’? The blonde replies ‘’ I just got the first joke’’.
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