Straight jokes

We wrote letters to a kid with cancer. My letter read “its a bumpy road but soon u will have a straight path.” People didnt realize it was meant for his heart monitor. Lol

I KNOW IT’S MARCH, BUT I THOUGHT OF THIS!! Jingle bells, jingle bells! OH GOD, SANTA FELL! I guess it’s time for Mrs. Claus to go straight down to hell!

Are you a Bullet because you go straight throw my head

What’s one thing that gay person scared at? A gay guy that’s straight!

Why can North Korea draw a straight line? Because they’ve got a supreme ruler

So Paul Walker made a rap cover. It is called straight out of windshield.

me be straight and bored goes to my local bar which has a goly hole out up spending the rest of the night there about to leave when mf I realize I’ve been sucking a guys cock this whole time ):

Roses are red my heart my heart is dead I have a gun straight to my head What the difference between being gay and straight, well it is the hole

Two men are in a rainforest and one of them is peeing. Suddenly a snake jumps out of some bushes and bites the man’s penis. The other man says, “ Oh my God, I will go to a doctor immediately!”. He didn’t have enough time to load the man into the car so he went straight to the hospital. The man told the doctor what happened and the doctor said, “You will have to make an incision at the wound and suck the poison out. The man wen back to the other man and said, “ There is no hope, you will die.”

A straight man and a gay man are talking, the straight man says, “I’m wanted in 2 states for murder.” and the gay man replies with, “oh, that sucks. I’m wanted in 13 for existing.”

whats one thing gay people can’t draw? a straight line.

I went to school with a gay guy who was really smart, but he always got mad that he got straight A’s instead of getting all the D’s

========================= (pre-election 2016) Trump Hating Comedian at seedy East L.A. comedy club - "Hey how "bout that Donald Trump chump… what the f@ck up with that dude, man ? “Geeeezus, he got some kuh-razy ass shit spewing endlessly out that pie-hole, 24/8!” (< leap week, muthafukas !) . . . "I mean, even his last name rhymes with shit

I complimented my neighbor’s skeleton decoration for Halloween but they just told me that it’s their anorexic daughter. Please read all of it I know it’s long please read all of it. This dad heard his daughter praying as she was praying she came to an end: " Goodnight grandma, goodbye grandpa, goodnight daddy, goodnight mommy. The dad didn’t think about the grandpa part and headed to bed. The next morning the mom and dad heard that the grandpa died the dad thought it was just coincidence so he carried on his day. At night he heard his daughter again: “Goodbye grandma, goodnight daddy, goodnight mommy. After he heard goodbye grandma his facial expression changed and went straight to bed. The next morning the grandma died out of nowhere the dad began to worry and continued on his day, at night he heard his daughter again " Goodbye daddy, goodnight mommy. The dad got scared so he had a plan to go to work and stay hidden there so that’s what he did. When he got home the next day his wife asked where he had been and he replied back " Sorry honey I had a horrible day today.” She replied back saying: " OH YOU THINK YOU HAD A BAD THE MAILMAN JUST DIED ON THE FRONTPORCH THIS MORNING" If you get it you get it.

I was doing a race and I started after everyone cause I fell, but when I got up I realized I couldn’t even race, not because I was behind, because I can’t go straight, if i’m gay…