Straight jokes

Straights are ALWAYS asking LGBTQ+ people why they have such GOOD FASHION SENSE, we didn’t spend all that time in the closet for nothing,honey ;)

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So, I was walking down the path of my life with bigfoot, noticing the two pairs of footprints, mine and his. One day, I notice his prints are gone. I look up to him and say, “You had promised you would always be there for me. How is this possible?” He, then, looks me straight in the eyes, and say,“Raw!”

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In Africa, it doesn’t matter if you’re gay, straight or bisexual. At the end of the day, it’s night.

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“I’m going through a lot of things right now,” I said frustratedly to the person on the line as I crashed straight through the next building in my car.

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To my best friend, my brother is like a spider. She chose to kill him straight away. That’s why she is my friend, after all! :D

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why does a straight guy act gay? cause he wants to feel wanted and wants to be bffs with the hotest girls

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Me: Gay puns are the best!! Also me: but im straight tho

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A three strangers have opened a gay chat; but if one left the chat, the chat will be closed. Stranger 3: how to turn a straight guy into a gay guy? Stranger 1: you can’t! Stranger 2: you can Stranger 3: how? Stranger 2: by using the same idea of russian experiment; like in a detention, put him in a closed room full of gay stuff but the difference that he can sleep and he will have a food for 30 days and toilet too. Stranger 3: great idea, but who can we try first? Stranger 1: you all gays are evil monsters Stranger 2: i think the stranger 1 is just a straight spy let’s try this experi- (the chat has been closed by stranger 1)

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Three friends are in a hotel room in Soviet Russia. The first two men open a bottle of vodka, while the third is tired and goes straight to bed. He is unable to sleep however, as his increasingly drunk friends tell political jokes loudly. After a while, the tired man gets frustrated and walks downstairs for a smoke. He stops in the lounge and asks the receptionist to bring tea to their room in five minutes. The man walks back into the room, joins the table, leans towards a power outlet and speaks into it: “Comrade major, we want some tea to room 62 please.” His friends laugh on the joke, until there is a knock on the door. The receptionist brings a teapot. His friends fall silent and pale, horrified of what they just witnessed. The party is dead, and the man goes to sleep. After a good night’s rest, the man wakes up, and notices his friends are gone. Surprised, he walks downstairs and asks the receptionist where they went. The nervous receptionist whispers that KGB came and took them before dawn. The man is horrified. He wonders why he was spared. The receptionist responds: “Well, comrade major did quite like your tea joke.”

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Roses are red my heart my heart is dead I have a gun straight to my head What the difference between being gay and straight, well it is the hole

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