We wrote letters to a kid with cancer. My letter read “its a bumpy road but soon u will have a straight path.” People didnt realize it was meant for his heart monitor. Lol
Ten Catholic priests all die in a bus accident. When they arrive at the pearly gates, St. Peter acknowledges them. He sees that they’re all priests and immediately says "If any of you are pedophiles, there’s no point waiting here. You might as well eff off straight to hell right now!” Nine of the priests turn around and begin to walk away. St. Peter calls after them, "AND TAKE THE DEAF BASTARD WITH YOU TOO!”
people call me a bad person but just the other day i saw a little kid crying and asked him where were his parents , i love working at the orphanage At school, bobby boy’s classmate tells him some depressing stuff. Later that day, bobby comes home crying and his mom greets him at the door with “why are you crying”. Bobby says “someone said my grandpa died, but when did he die”. His mom looks him straight in the eye and says “depends, which one are you referring to?”
Why do gays get bad grades? They don’t get straight a’s
3 blonde sisters die and are told by an angel that in order for them to go to heaven they have to pass all 100 steps. But each step has a joke , each joke gets funnier and funnier. And in order to pass them all, you can’t laugh at any joke or else you go to hell. The blonde girls accept the offer. So the angel begins telling them the joke, one of the girls laughs at the 3rd step. The second blonde laugjhs halfway there. Finally, the last blonde was at the 100th step. The angel said ‘‘this is the last step if you laugh you will go straight to hell with your sisters and if you don’t you can pass. The blonde agrees and the angel starts to tell the joke, ‘‘What do you ca…’’ out of nowhere the blonde starts bursting out laughing. ‘‘Why are you laughing I haven’t even finished the joke yet’’? The blonde replies ‘’ I just got the first joke’’.
How do you find out if your kid is gay? Lock him in a closet and if he comes out his gay if not his dead straight.
why does a straight guy act gay? cause he wants to feel wanted and wants to be bffs with the hotest girls
Why can North Korea draw a straight line? Because they’ve got a supreme ruler
A three strangers have opened a gay chat; but if one left the chat, the chat will be closed. Stranger 3: how to turn a straight guy into a gay guy? Stranger 1: you can’t! Stranger 2: you can Stranger 3: how? Stranger 2: by using the same idea of russian experiment; like in a detention, put him in a closed room full of gay stuff but the difference that he can sleep and he will have a food for 30 days and toilet too. Stranger 3: great idea, but who can we try first? Stranger 1: you all gays are evil monsters Stranger 2: i think the stranger 1 is just a straight spy let’s try this experi- (the chat has been closed by stranger 1)
If you gay then wtf u doin tryna walk straight
Straight people ask why gays have such a good fashion sense. Baby we didn’t spend all that time in the closet for nothing.
everyone: so wait let me get this straight feminist want to cancel fathers day because it is offensive to single mothers feminist: correct everyone: THEN WTF IS THE POINT OF MOTHERS DAY
whats one thing gay people can’t draw? a straight line.
me be straight and bored goes to my local bar which has a goly hole out up spending the rest of the night there about to leave when mf I realize I’ve been sucking a guys cock this whole time ):
A police officer writes a ticket for a car not being parked correctly. The driver asks why. When he realizes he is parked poorly, he responds “Oh. I’m terribly sorry. You see, I’m so gay I can’t even park straight.”
RUS | ENG
