Straight jokes

im hertophobic- aka im allergic to all straight guys

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So, I was walking down the path of my life with bigfoot, noticing the two pairs of footprints, mine and his. One day, I notice his prints are gone. I look up to him and say, “You had promised you would always be there for me. How is this possible?” He, then, looks me straight in the eyes, and say,“Raw!”

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My friend said “Dude, if you don’t put your desk in line with the column, your gay.” so he did it and i said “Well i guess now he’s straight” ;D

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“I’m going through a lot of things right now,” I said frustratedly to the person on the line as I crashed straight through the next building in my car.

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One day i visited my friend in a hospital I remember when i spoke “You know, sometimes it’s reaching its peak and its lowest state, but i know you’ll always end like the others at calming and straight” Yes, i talked about heart monitor beside him

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A man shot into a crowd at the train station and didn’t hit one person, when the police asked why he missed, someone said cause he gay. He couldn’t shoot straight

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I was doing a race and I started after everyone cause I fell, but when I got up I realized I couldn’t even race, not because I was behind, because I can’t go straight, if i’m gay…

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My brother caught Covid last month. First I knew about it was when he speed-dialled me at 3am and gasped, ‘I can’t breathe, I can’t breathe !’ I just told him straight: ‘Bro… you really need to work on your George Floyd jokes.’