Straight jokes

An old man gets the call from the IRS The man on the phone says, “we’ve noticed large sums of money coming in and going out of your account constantly and we gotta get this straight. Come in tomorrow and we’ll have a chat about this.” The old man thinks for a while and then decides he better get his lawyer to come with him. The next day the old man and his lawyer

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Astronaut In The Ocean-By- Masked Wolf and watersharky Music Productions- Astro-naut What you know about rollin’ down in the deep? When your brain goes numb, you can call that mental freeze When these people talk too much, put that shit in slow motion, yeah I feel like an astronaut in the ocean, ayy What you know about rollin’ down in the deep?

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what do you call a lazy gay? someone who comes straight out of the closet,and goes straight to the couch.

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A man shot into a crowd at the train station and didn’t hit one person, when the police asked why he missed, someone said cause he gay. He couldn’t shoot straight

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So Paul Walker made a rap cover. It is called straight out of windshield.

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I told my wife* she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked at me surprised *(P.S. I am not at that age plus I am as straight as an helix ruler)

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The FitnessGram™ Pacer Test is a multistage aerobic capacity test that progressively gets more difficult?as?it continues. The 20-meter pacer test will begin in?30 seconds. Line up at the start. The running speed starts slowly but gets faster each minute after you hear this signal. A single lap should be completed each time you hear this sound. Remember to run in a straight line, and run as long as possible. The second time you fail to complete a lap before the sound, your test is over. The test will begin on the word start. On your mark, get ready, start. Level 1 Feel it One Two Three Four Five Six Seven; end of level one

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A Woman exclaims that she was robbed she was reading in the dark candles were next to her on she says the thief opens her cabin of Jewelry and leaves and enters from the window.He left the window open so she feels a drift of wind coming towards her.She turns the lights on and sees what happened.The candle wax was going down straight.A police man closes the window and cabin then tells her shes lying just for the cash reward.Why? Because if the drift of wind came in the candle wax would be dripping to the side not straight!

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“I’m going through a lot of things right now,” I said frustratedly to the person on the line as I crashed straight through the next building in my car.

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When I was in 4th grade, we wrote letters to kids in the hospital. I wrote: It is a bumpy road but soon it will be a straight path. Not many people know I was talking about their heart monitor.

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My friend said “Dude, if you don’t put your desk in line with the column, your gay.” so he did it and i said “Well i guess now he’s straight” ;D

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In Africa, it doesn’t matter if you’re gay, straight or bisexual. At the end of the day, it’s night.

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