Straight jokes

So, I was walking down the path of my life with bigfoot, noticing the two pairs of footprints, mine and his. One day, I notice his prints are gone. I look up to him and say, “You had promised you would always be there for me. How is this possible?” He, then, looks me straight in the eyes, and say,“Raw!”

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

Why do gays get bad grades? They don’t get straight a’s

-2 -1 0 +1 +2


========================= (pre-election 2016) Trump Hating Comedian at seedy East L.A. comedy club - "Hey how "bout that Donald Trump chump… what the f@ck up with that dude, man ? “Geeeezus, he got some kuh-razy ass shit spewing endlessly out that pie-hole, 24/8!” (< leap week, muthafukas !) . . . "I mean, even his last name rhymes with shit

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *
-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

Ten Catholic priests all die in a bus accident. When they arrive at the pearly gates, St. Peter acknowledges them. He sees that they’re all priests and immediately says "If any of you are pedophiles, there’s no point waiting here. You might as well eff off straight to hell right now!” Nine of the priests turn around and begin to walk away. St. Peter calls after them, "AND TAKE THE DEAF BASTARD WITH YOU TOO!”

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *
-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *
-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

A man shot into a crowd at the train station and didn’t hit one person, when the police asked why he missed, someone said cause he gay. He couldn’t shoot straight

-2 -1 0 +1 +2


-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

I was doing a race and I started after everyone cause I fell, but when I got up I realized I couldn’t even race, not because I was behind, because I can’t go straight, if i’m gay…

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *
-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

What’s one thing that gay person scared at? A gay guy that’s straight!

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *
-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

what do you call a lazy gay? someone who comes straight out of the closet,and goes straight to the couch.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

Father : “That’s great son. Who is she?” Son: “It’s Tina, the neighbor’s daughter”. Father : “Ohhh I wish you hadn’t said that.I have to tell u something son, but you must promise not to tell your mother.Tina is actually your sister.” The boy is naturally bummed out, but a couple of months later Son : “Daddy, I fell in love again and she is even hotter!” Father : “That’s great son. Who is she?” Son: “It’s Peny, the other neighbor’s daughter.” Father : “Ohhhh I wish you hadn’t said that. Peny is also your sister.” This went on couple of times and the son was so mad,he went straight to his mother crying. Son : “Mum I am so mad at dad ! I fell in love with six girls but I can’t date any of them because daddy is their father!” The mother hugs him affectionately and says: “My love, you can date whoever you want. Don’t listen to him. He is not your Father.”!!!

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *


© àíåêäîòîâ.net, 1997 - 2026