I was digging in our garden when I found a chest full of gold coins. I was about to run straight home to tell my wife about it, but then I remembered why I was digging in our garden.
I told my wife* she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked at me surprised *(P.S. I am not at that age plus I am as straight as an helix ruler)
I was digging in our garden and found a chest full of gold coins. I wanted to run straight home to tell my wife about it. Then I remembered why I’m digging in our garden.
Three friends are in a hotel room in Soviet Russia. The first two men open a bottle of vodka, while the third is tired and goes straight to bed. He is unable to sleep however, as his increasingly drunk friends tell political jokes loudly. After a while, the tired man gets frustrated and walks downstairs for a smoke. He stops in the lounge and asks the receptionist to bring tea to their room in five minutes. The man walks back into the room, joins the table, leans towards a power outlet and speaks into it: “Comrade major, we want some tea to room 62 please.” His friends laugh on the joke, until there is a knock on the door. The receptionist brings a teapot. His friends fall silent and pale, horrified of what they just witnessed. The party is dead, and the man goes to sleep. After a good night’s rest, the man wakes up, and notices his friends are gone. Surprised, he walks downstairs and asks the receptionist where they went. The nervous receptionist whispers that KGB came and took them before dawn. The man is horrified. He wonders why he was spared. The receptionist responds: “Well, comrade major did quite like your tea joke.”
I was doing a race and I started after everyone cause I fell, but when I got up I realized I couldn’t even race, not because I was behind, because I can’t go straight, if i’m gay…
The only thing I do straight is vodka
Why did Sally stare out the window for 24 hours straight? Sally’s used to being blind!
All the lines on the LGBT flag are straight
What’s one thing that gay person scared at? A gay guy that’s straight!
The FitnessGram™ Pacer Test is a multistage aerobic capacity test that progressively gets more difficult?as?it continues. The 20-meter pacer test will begin in?30 seconds. Line up at the start. The running speed starts slowly but gets faster each minute after you hear this signal. A single lap should be completed each time you hear this sound. Remember to run in a straight line, and run as long as possible. The second time you fail to complete a lap before the sound, your test is over. The test will begin on the word start. On your mark, get ready, start. Level 1 Feel it One Two Three Four Five Six Seven; end of level one
Why can’t gay people play Baseball they can’t through the ball straight.
im hertophobic- aka im allergic to all straight guys
Me;you stupid Guy;you straight Me;sorry I’m not a mirror
For boys Life is a lot like a penis simple, soft, straight, relaxed and hanging freely… then a woman makes it really hard??????
I complimented my neighbor’s skeleton decoration for Halloween but they just told me that it’s their anorexic daughter. Please read all of it I know it’s long please read all of it. This dad heard his daughter praying as she was praying she came to an end: " Goodnight grandma, goodbye grandpa, goodnight daddy, goodnight mommy. The dad didn’t think about the grandpa part and headed to bed. The next morning the mom and dad heard that the grandpa died the dad thought it was just coincidence so he carried on his day. At night he heard his daughter again: “Goodbye grandma, goodnight daddy, goodnight mommy. After he heard goodbye grandma his facial expression changed and went straight to bed. The next morning the grandma died out of nowhere the dad began to worry and continued on his day, at night he heard his daughter again " Goodbye daddy, goodnight mommy. The dad got scared so he had a plan to go to work and stay hidden there so that’s what he did. When he got home the next day his wife asked where he had been and he replied back " Sorry honey I had a horrible day today.” She replied back saying: " OH YOU THINK YOU HAD A BAD THE MAILMAN JUST DIED ON THE FRONTPORCH THIS MORNING" If you get it you get it.
RUS | ENG
