Jim’s car is swerving all over the road so a cop pulls him over, “Step out of the car” says the cop, “I am going to need you to take a breathalyzer test.” “I can’t”, Jim responds “You see I have very bad asthma, that can set off an attack.” “Alright,” says the cop, “then you’re going to have to take a blood test.” “Can’t do that either,” Jim responds, “I am a hemophiliac, if a wound is opened, I won’t stop bleeding, and I could bleed to death.” “Ok,” the cop answers “then I will need a urine sample.” “Sorry,” says Jim “I also have diabetes, that could push my sugar count really low.” “Fine, so just come on out, and walk a straight line for me.” “Can’t do that either” responds Jim. “Why not?” Demanded the exasperated cop. “Well, because I’m drunk!”
POV: You liked this joke because your straight
Gays: I like men Straights: I like women Russia:Hole is hole
isn’t it strange that the LGTBQ flag only has straight lines?
bro im so gay i can’t even spell strait
Three friends are in a hotel room in Soviet Russia. The first two men open a bottle of vodka, while the third is tired and goes straight to bed. He is unable to sleep however, as his increasingly drunk friends tell political jokes loudly. After a while, the tired man gets frustrated and walks downstairs for a smoke. He stops in the lounge and asks the receptionist to bring tea to their room in five minutes. The man walks back into the room, joins the table, leans towards a power outlet and speaks into it: “Comrade major, we want some tea to room 62 please.” His friends laugh on the joke, until there is a knock on the door. The receptionist brings a teapot. His friends fall silent and pale, horrified of what they just witnessed. The party is dead, and the man goes to sleep. After a good night’s rest, the man wakes up, and notices his friends are gone. Surprised, he walks downstairs and asks the receptionist where they went. The nervous receptionist whispers that KGB came and took them before dawn. The man is horrified. He wonders why he was spared. The receptionist responds: “Well, comrade major did quite like your tea joke.”
This boy said get get yo hairline straight I said girls don’t have a hairline how about you go to the barber shop htm title=' times worst then he did the first time.'>and let your barber do your hair 10 times worst then he did the first time.
You know we straight with doin your mom
So, I was walking down the path of my life with bigfoot, noticing the two pairs of footprints, mine and his. One day, I notice his prints are gone. I look up to him and say, “You had promised you would always be there for me. How is this possible?” He, then, looks me straight in the eyes, and say,“Raw!”
You’re so ugly you make Gay/Lesbian people straight
My friend said “Dude, if you don’t put your desk in line with the column, your gay.” so he did it and i said “Well i guess now he’s straight” ;D
So a retarded kids mom drops her kid off at school and says “you better stop the bus today because I’m not picking you up” and so he agrees and he arrives at the bus stop and says “stop” (in a retarded voice) and the bus goes straight past him the next day the mom says the same thing and the kid goes to the bus stop and says “stop” (in a retarded voice) and the bus goes straight past him the third day his mom says “I don’t care if have to jump out in the middle of the road you better stop that bus” so the kid goes to bus stop and jumps out in the middle of the road and says “Stop!” The bus driver runs over him a nearby lady stops the bus and says “why’d you run that poor kid over” and he responds “‘cause he was making fun of me” (in a retarded voice)
Little Johnny was late to school one day and miss brown asks, Johnny how come ur late to class and Johnny says, Miss, u wouldn’t believe it, the farmers bull got out and started f@cking the white cow miss brown said Johnny don’t use that word next time you want to say that use the word “surprised”. The next day Johnny was late again and miss brown said Johnny why are you late and Johnny replied miss you wouldn’t believe it the farmers bull got out and “surprised” the whit cow, miss brown said that’s much better Jonny and Johnny said yeah walked straight passed it and started f@cking the black one
3 blonde sisters die and are told by an angel that in order for them to go to heaven they have to pass all 100 steps. But each step has a joke , each joke gets funnier and funnier. And in order to pass them all, you can’t laugh at any joke or else you go to hell. The blonde girls accept the offer. So the angel begins telling them the joke, one of the girls laughs at the 3rd step. The second blonde laugjhs halfway there. Finally, the last blonde was at the 100th step. The angel said ‘‘this is the last step if you laugh you will go straight to hell with your sisters and if you don’t you can pass. The blonde agrees and the angel starts to tell the joke, ‘‘What do you ca…’’ out of nowhere the blonde starts bursting out laughing. ‘‘Why are you laughing I haven’t even finished the joke yet’’? The blonde replies ‘’ I just got the first joke’’.
In Africa, it doesn’t matter if you’re gay, straight or bisexual. At the end of the day, it’s night.
RUS | ENG
