What’s one thing that gay person scared at? A gay guy that’s straight!
All the lines on the LGBT flag are straight
Gays: I like men Straights: I like women Russia:Hole is hole
Me: Gay puns are the best!! Also me: but im straight tho
To my best friend, my brother is like a spider. She chose to kill him straight away. That’s why she is my friend, after all! :D
Jim’s car is swerving all over the road so a cop pulls him over, “Step out of the car” says the cop, “I am going to need you to take a breathalyzer test.” “I can’t”, Jim responds “You see I have very bad asthma, that can set off an attack.” “Alright,” says the cop, “then you’re going to have to take a blood test.” “Can’t do that either,” Jim responds, “I am a hemophiliac, if a wound is opened, I won’t stop bleeding, and I could bleed to death.” “Ok,” the cop answers “then I will need a urine sample.” “Sorry,” says Jim “I also have diabetes, that could push my sugar count really low.” “Fine, so just come on out, and walk a straight line for me.” “Can’t do that either” responds Jim. “Why not?” Demanded the exasperated cop. “Well, because I’m drunk!”
Ten Catholic priests all die in a bus accident. When they arrive at the pearly gates, St. Peter acknowledges them. He sees that they’re all priests and immediately says "If any of you are pedophiles, there’s no point waiting here. You might as well eff off straight to hell right now!” Nine of the priests turn around and begin to walk away. St. Peter calls after them, "AND TAKE THE DEAF BASTARD WITH YOU TOO!”
people call me a bad person but just the other day i saw a little kid crying and asked him where were his parents , i love working at the orphanage At school, bobby boy’s classmate tells him some depressing stuff. Later that day, bobby comes home crying and his mom greets him at the door with “why are you crying”. Bobby says “someone said my grandpa died, but when did he die”. His mom looks him straight in the eye and says “depends, which one are you referring to?”
me be straight and bored goes to my local bar which has a goly hole out up spending the rest of the night there about to leave when mf I realize I’ve been sucking a guys cock this whole time ):
I was digging in our garden when I found a chest full of gold coins. I was about to run straight home to tell my wife about it, but then I remembered why I was digging in our garden.
few jokes (sorry if they have already been used.) 1 I couldn’t figure out why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me. 2 Why does Humpty Dumpty love autumn? Because he always has a great fall. 3 Have you heard the one about the skunk? Never mind, it really stinks. 4 It’s always windy in a sports arena. All those fans. 5 What is the best day to go to the beach? Sunday, of course! 6 Comic Sans walks into a bar. The bartender says, “We don’t serve your type here.” 7 What’s the easiest way to get straight As? Use a ruler. 8 Why were they called the Dark Ages? Because there were lots of knights
Me;you stupid Guy;you straight Me;sorry I’m not a mirror
My friend said “Dude, if you don’t put your desk in line with the column, your gay.” so he did it and i said “Well i guess now he’s straight” ;D
I KNOW IT’S MARCH, BUT I THOUGHT OF THIS!! Jingle bells, jingle bells! OH GOD, SANTA FELL! I guess it’s time for Mrs. Claus to go straight down to hell!
Going to church, you don’t think, you are Christian. Sleeping with ten men, You don’t think, you are straight.
RUS | ENG