Straight jokes

========================= (pre-election 2016) Trump Hating Comedian at seedy East L.A. comedy club - "Hey how "bout that Donald Trump chump… what the f@ck up with that dude, man ? “Geeeezus, he got some kuh-razy ass shit spewing endlessly out that pie-hole, 24/8!” (< leap week, muthafukas !) . . . "I mean, even his last name rhymes with shit

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I asked what LGBTQ stands for and I couldn’t get straight answer??

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I went to school with a gay guy who was really smart, but he always got mad that he got straight A’s instead of getting all the D’s

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straight (DYM 26)

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Why do gays get bad grades? They don’t get straight a’s

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Why did Sally stare out the window for 24 hours straight? Sally’s used to being blind!

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Three friends are in a hotel room in Soviet Russia. The first two men open a bottle of vodka, while the third is tired and goes straight to bed. He is unable to sleep however, as his increasingly drunk friends tell political jokes loudly. After a while, the tired man gets frustrated and walks downstairs for a smoke. He stops in the lounge and asks the receptionist to bring tea to their room in five minutes. The man walks back into the room, joins the table, leans towards a power outlet and speaks into it: “Comrade major, we want some tea to room 62 please.” His friends laugh on the joke, until there is a knock on the door. The receptionist brings a teapot. His friends fall silent and pale, horrified of what they just witnessed. The party is dead, and the man goes to sleep. After a good night’s rest, the man wakes up, and notices his friends are gone. Surprised, he walks downstairs and asks the receptionist where they went. The nervous receptionist whispers that KGB came and took them before dawn. The man is horrified. He wonders why he was spared. The receptionist responds: “Well, comrade major did quite like your tea joke.”

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I met this kid and he was being bullied by 9 people. I Asked 1 whats going on. They all said another one to bully they all tried hitting me and then my mates which was like 15 of them came in and it was like war all over again.

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One day i visited my friend in a hospital I remember when i spoke “You know, sometimes it’s reaching its peak and its lowest state, but i know you’ll always end like the others at calming and straight” Yes, i talked about heart monitor beside him

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if gay means happy then i am now straight A news headline read: A toddler has shot a person every week in the US for two years straight He was in the infantry

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What’s one thing that gay person scared at? A gay guy that’s straight!

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What’s the easiest way to get straight As? Use a ruler.

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I was doing a race and I started after everyone cause I fell, but when I got up I realized I couldn’t even race, not because I was behind, because I can’t go straight, if i’m gay…

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Pinocchio goes to the doctor for a checkup. When he gets there the doctor asks him “Do you have cancer?” Pinocchio replies, “That was very straight up, but, no I’m pretty sure I don’t have cancer.” After saying this, his nose grew.

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Going to church, you don’t think, you are Christian. Sleeping with ten men, You don’t think, you are straight.

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