Straight jokes

I was digging in our garden and found a chest full of gold coins. I wanted to run straight home to tell my wife about it. Then I remembered why I’m digging in our garden.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

How do you find out if your kid is gay? Lock him in a closet and if he comes out his gay if not his dead straight.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2


A Woman exclaims that she was robbed she was reading in the dark candles were next to her on she says the thief opens her cabin of Jewelry and leaves and enters from the window.He left the window open so she feels a drift of wind coming towards her.She turns the lights on and sees what happened.The candle wax was going down straight.A police man closes the window and cabin then tells her shes lying just for the cash reward.Why? Because if the drift of wind came in the candle wax would be dripping to the side not straight!

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

My friend said “Dude, if you don’t put your desk in line with the column, your gay.” so he did it and i said “Well i guess now he’s straight” ;D

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

NWA: Straight Outta Compton Kobe Bryant: Straight Outta the Helicopter

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *
-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

To my best friend, my brother is like a spider. She chose to kill him straight away. That’s why she is my friend, after all! :D

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

3 blonde sisters die and are told by an angel that in order for them to go to heaven they have to pass all 100 steps. But each step has a joke , each joke gets funnier and funnier. And in order to pass them all, you can’t laugh at any joke or else you go to hell. The blonde girls accept the offer. So the angel begins telling them the joke, one of the girls laughs at the 3rd step. The second blonde laugjhs halfway there. Finally, the last blonde was at the 100th step. The angel said ‘‘this is the last step if you laugh you will go straight to hell with your sisters and if you don’t you can pass. The blonde agrees and the angel starts to tell the joke, ‘‘What do you ca…’’ out of nowhere the blonde starts bursting out laughing. ‘‘Why are you laughing I haven’t even finished the joke yet’’? The blonde replies ‘’ I just got the first joke’’.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2


An old man gets the call from the IRS The man on the phone says, “we’ve noticed large sums of money coming in and going out of your account constantly and we gotta get this straight. Come in tomorrow and we’ll have a chat about this.” The old man thinks for a while and then decides he better get his lawyer to come with him. The next day the old man and his lawyer

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

Jim’s car is swerving all over the road so a cop pulls him over, “Step out of the car” says the cop, “I am going to need you to take a breathalyzer test.” “I can’t”, Jim responds “You see I have very bad asthma, that can set off an attack.” “Alright,” says the cop, “then you’re going to have to take a blood test.” “Can’t do that either,” Jim responds, “I am a hemophiliac, if a wound is opened, I won’t stop bleeding, and I could bleed to death.” “Ok,” the cop answers “then I will need a urine sample.” “Sorry,” says Jim “I also have diabetes, that could push my sugar count really low.” “Fine, so just come on out, and walk a straight line for me.” “Can’t do that either” responds Jim. “Why not?” Demanded the exasperated cop. “Well, because I’m drunk!”

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

Me: Gay puns are the best!! Also me: but im straight tho

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *
-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

Pinocchio goes to the doctor for a checkup. When he gets there the doctor asks him “Do you have cancer?” Pinocchio replies, “That was very straight up, but, no I’m pretty sure I don’t have cancer.” After saying this, his nose grew.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *
-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *
-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *


© àíåêäîòîâ.net, 1997 - 2025