Teacher jokes

Your forehead so big that the Teachers use it as a whiteboard

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Teacher: what’s your favorite animal Me: Desert Eagle Teacher:why? Me:cause it fits in my backpack

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Teacher:Kids what does a chicken give you Students: Eggs Teacher: Very good now what does the pig give you Kids: Bacon Teacher: Excellent now what does the fat cow give you Kids: Homework

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New Teacher: I was an orphan as a kid. Students: sad Teacher: anyway Is anyone missing. Students: Your Parents “I had a great day today.” “Why?” “Because Allison was frustrated at her calculator and started banging it on the side of the table and the teacher screamed, ‘Allison how would you like it if I banged you on the table?’”

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Teahcer: At the end of this ruler is a idiot. Student: which end?

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Michael Jackson was once a guitar teacher, but he got fired because he fingered a minor

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Why did the girl rage badly when she got an D- on her essay? Because the teacher said she missed all her periods

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My teacher asked everyone how tall their grandparents were, I responded “My grandpa is 5ft 10, and my grandma is -6ft.”

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best friend makes 9/11 joke you: hey my dad was inside the tower best friend: im sorry you: I always knew he was a great pilot Why do orphans have water with cereal? Because there dad never came back with the milk

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New Teacher: I was an orphan as a kid. Students: OOF Teacher: Is anyone missing. Students: Your Parents

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One day Timmy walks in on his mum in the bath. Then he asks “What’s that dark fuzzy thing, mummy?” and mum said “It’s a bush, every girl has one!” Then the next day he walks in on his dad in the shower. So he asks “Daddy, what’s that long thing?” The dad then says “It’s a sexy boy” accidentally. Timmy asks his dad “What does sexy mean?” And the dad says “Your mother, of course.” making it seem like a child-friendly compliment. Then the next day at school Timmy wanted to compliment his teacher. He walks up to her and says “You’re so so sexy!”

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Teacher: You cant be here after school without a parent! Orphan: -no response-

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Teacher: Now class, if you are dumb, please stand up. Class: no one stands up Teacher: Oh c’mon. I know someone over here is dumb. waves her finger around the left side of the room Little Johnny: stands up Teacher: Oh, Johnny, you think you’re dumb? Little Johnny: No, I just feel bad you’re standing alone.

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Little Johnny walked into the bathroom while his dad was taking a dump. As soon as Little Johnny walked in his dad let out a big FART! Little Johnny said “WHAT WAS THAT?” His dad said “ That was the sound of the north wind. The next day his teacher asked the class “ What’s the direction of the north wind?” Little Johnny raised his hand. The teacher called on him and he said “TEACH IT’S MY DADDY’S BOOTY!”

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A teacher asked her class “what is sex?” Little Johnny got up and said: “Sex is a temptation Causes by a sensation Where the boy sticks his location Into a girls destination To increase the population Of the next generation Did you get my explanation? Or do you need a demonstration The teacher faints By:Xzavier

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