Teacher jokes

One day Timmy walks in on his mum in the bath. Then he asks “What’s that dark fuzzy thing, mummy?” and mum said “It’s a bush, every girl has one!” Then the next day he walks in on his dad in the shower. So he asks “Daddy, what’s that long thing?” The dad then says “It’s a sexy boy” accidentally. Timmy asks his dad “What does sexy mean?” And the dad says “Your mother, of course.” making it seem like a child-friendly compliment. Then the next day at school Timmy wanted to compliment his teacher. He walks up to her and says “You’re so so sexy!”

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One day the teacher said “there are 3 birds on a wire, a shooter shoots one. how many are left?” the teacher calls on lil johnny. “none” the teacher said ‘‘no but try again’’ lil johnny says " none bc if u shoot one the rest get scared and leave" the teacher said’’ not quiter but i like the way you think" lil johnny then says " alr teacher i have one for you. there are 3 women sitting on a bench, ones sucking it. the other its licking it, and the last on is bitting it. witch one is married?" the teacher then says "the one sucking it ofc" lil johnny then says “no the one with the ring but i like the way you think”

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Why was the guitar teacher arrested?

For fingering a minor.

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Teacher: what’s your favorite animal

Me: Desert Eagle

Teacher:why?

Me:cause it fits in my backpack

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Kid:Hey what’s black and sneaky! Social studies teacher:Harriet Tubman

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So I was doing a project in my class and my teacher asked me to give an example of allusion, which is referencing something else with a word.

So I answered, “Jane 9/11ed her little sisters Jenga kit”

The principles office smells nice

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An old teacher asked her student, “If I say, ‘I am beautiful,’ which tense is that?” The student replied, “It is obviously past.”

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Teacher:Kids what does a chicken give you

Students: Eggs

Teacher: Very good now what does the pig give you

Kids: Bacon

Teacher: Excellent now what does the fat cow give you

Kids: Homework

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My teacher told me, “You have no idea how powerful this quote is.” I looked at her and told her, “You don’t know how powerful the shotgun in my bookbag is.”

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My teacher said he is gonna call my dad, i cant wait to meet him???

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My friends: ugh why are you so lazy and no fun My parents: why can’t u be like ur siblings My teacher: I don’t care if ur depressed focus on ur study! The songs: we understand you:)

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Why did Beethoven have trouble finding a music teacher? – Because his teacher was Haydn.

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I love telling stories as theatrical plays. When we had a free dress day near Christmas my teacher dressed up as a reindeer, so I got my teacher involved…and shot her.

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Little Johnny went on a camping trip. All the tents we’re taken so her shared with the teacher. So Little Johnny says: Can I play with your bellybutton my mom always let’s me when we camp. So the teacher says: Sure 5 minutes later the teacher says: Woah Woah Woah that’s not my bellybutton! Little Johnny says: Woah Woah Woah thats not my finger.

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Teacher: Who here has thought about committing suicide? Half of the class: raises hand Teacher: … The half of the class: Starts talking about how they were thinking of doing it

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