My teacher told me, “You have no idea how powerful this quote is.” I looked at her and told her, “You don’t know how powerful the shotgun in my bookbag is.”
Teahcer: At the end of this ruler is a idiot. Student: which end?
What’s the difference between a teacher and a train? The teacher says, “Spit out your gum,” but a train says, “Chew chew!”
Teacher: where’s you homework? Student: at home… Teacher: what’s it doing there? Student: having a better time than me.
The teacher asked,"why are you in school on a saturday?" I told her my mum told me to go to hell.
Student: a plane is carrying 204 bricks, one falls out, how many are left? Teacher: 203 Student: how do you put an elephant in the fridge? Teacher: You can’t Student: yes you can, open fridge door put elephant in. How do you put a giraffe in the fridge? Teacher: open door put in giraffe? Student: no, take out elephant put in giraffe. The lion king is having a party, who isn’t there? Teacher: let me guess, the lion Student: no the giraffe, he’s stuck in a fridge. Sally has to cross a river full of vicious alligators to get to safety, she gets across safely how? Teacher: she stepped on the alligators? Student: no the alligators are at the party, Sally dies anyway, how? Teacher: she frowned? Student: no, she was hit in the head by a falling brick.
A teacher asked his students a math question. “You have one dollar. Your parents give you five dollars. How much money do you have?” After some thinking, about half the class raised their hands. The teacher called on a little girl in the front. “One dollar!” she said
An old teacher asked her student, “If I say, ‘I am beautiful,’ which tense is that?” The student replied, “It is obviously past.”
My teacher asked everyone how tall their grandparents were, I responded “My grandpa is 5ft 10, and my grandma is -6ft.”
The teacher asked her student to say the alphabet , The student recited the alphabet abcdefghijklmnoqrstuvwxyz, Where’s the p, He looked down to the floor and said : it’s running down my legs
Little Johnny walked into the bathroom while his dad was taking a dump. As soon as Little Johnny walked in his dad let out a big FART! Little Johnny said “WHAT WAS THAT?” His dad said “ That was the sound of the north wind. The next day his teacher asked the class “ What’s the direction of the north wind?” Little Johnny raised his hand. The teacher called on him and he said “TEACH IT’S MY DADDY’S BOOTY!”
How do you say goodbye to a calculus teacher? Calculator!
A teacher says to her class one day, "Whoever answers my next question, can go home." A boy throws his bag out the window. The teacher asks, “Who just threw that?” The boy says, “Me! I’m going home now.”
Teacher: You cant be here after school without a parent! Orphan: -no response-
Two boys were arguing in class one day when the teacher walked in to the classroom. The teacher asked them, “Why are you arguing?” One of the boys replied, “We found a ten dollar bill and decided to give it to whoever tells the biggest lie.” “You should be ashamed of yourselves,” said the teacher. “When I was your age I didn’t even know what a lie was. ” The boys gave the ten dollars to the teacher.
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