Teacher : Who here has thought about committing suicide? Half of the class : raises hand Teacher : … The half of the class: Starts talking about how they were thinking of doing it
little johnny was siting in class one day and the teacher was talking about life and ask him " little johnny how do you want your wife to be like" and he answered " like the moon" and the teacher said " that’s such a beautiful answer because it calm and peaceful " and little htm title=' appears at night and disappears in the morning'>johnny said " no because it appears at night and disappears in the morning"
Teacher:what does a pig give you Little Johnny:Bacon Teacher:good,what does the sheep give you Little Johnny:Wool Teacher:What does the fat cow give you Little Johnny: homework and says leave motherf*cker
The teacher asked,"why are you in school on a saturday?" I told her my mum told me to go to hell.
so the teacher go up to you and says im going to call your parents me: good luck finding them
teacher: "you know you can’t sleep in my class" boy: " I know. Maybe if you were a little quieter, I could
A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales. The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because it was a very large mammal, its throat was very small. The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale. Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible. The little girl said, “When I get to Heaven, I will ask Jonah.” The teacher asked, “What if Jonah went to Hell?” The little girl replied, “Then you ask him.”
Teacher: where’s you homework? Student: at home… Teacher: what’s it doing there? Student: having a better time than me.
How do you say goodbye to a calculus teacher? Calculator!
Why did the girl rage badly when she got an D- on her essay? Because the teacher said she missed all her periods
when the teacher calls on you and asks you how many people did Hitler kill. “One, he killed himself”
Little Johnny and his teacher were telling each other jokes and riddles, His teacher asked “Three birds where sitting on a wire, a hunter shot one. How many are left?” Little Johnny replied “None, because the sound would scare the other two away.” His teacher said “No, but I like the way you think!” Little Johnny replied, “Alright, now I have one for you. What goes in dry and hard and comes out soft and hard?” His teacher was shocked and said “Little Johnny! ” He replied “It’s gum! But I like the way you think!”
Today in math class we had to do an activity where we had to flip coins. The teacher said that we had to flip some coins, remove all of the heads, count them, and put the rest of the coins back in the cup and repeat until we had no coins left. I’m not sure what we were supposed to get out of that activity, but I got 15 dead bodies.
Whats the difference between a boring teacher and a boring book? You can shut the book up
What the type of teacher who doesn’t fart in public? A Private Tutor/Tooter
RUS | ENG
