An old teacher asked her student, “If I say, ‘I am beautiful,’ which tense is that?” The student replied, “It is obviously past.”
Teacher: Johnny can you use a sentence with definitely in it Little Johnny: Do farts have lumps in them Teacher: of cause not Johnny Little Johnny: then I’ve definitely shat myself
A teacher says to her class one day, "Whoever answers my next question, can go home." A boy throws his bag out the window. The teacher asks, “Who just threw that?” The boy says, “Me! I’m going home now.”
Little Johnny walked into the bathroom while his dad was taking a dump. As soon as Little Johnny walked in his dad let out a big FART! Little Johnny said “WHAT WAS THAT?” His dad said “ That was the sound of the north wind. The next day his teacher asked the class “ What’s the direction of the north wind?” Little Johnny raised his hand. The teacher called on him and he said “TEACH IT’S MY DADDY’S BOOTY!”
New Teacher: I was an orphan as a kid. Students: OOF Teacher: Is anyone missing. Students: Your Parents
Today in math class we had to do an activity where we had to flip coins. The teacher said that we had to flip some coins, remove all of the heads, count them, and put the rest of the coins back in the cup and repeat until we had no coins left. I’m not sure what we were supposed to get out of that activity, but I got 15 dead bodies.
My teacher told me, “You have no idea how powerful this quote is.” I looked at her and told her, “You don’t know how powerful the shotgun in my bookbag is.”
Teacher: I used to be an orphan once. Student: OOFT Teacher: Who are we missing? Student: Your parents
New Teacher: I was an orphan as a kid. Students: sad Teacher: anyway Is anyone missing. Students: Your Parents “I had a great day today.” “Why?” “Because Allison was frustrated at her calculator and started banging it on the side of the table and the teacher screamed, ‘Allison how would you like it if I banged you on the table?’”
Teacher: People with Depression never get anywhere in life. Student 1: My mom has depression, but she died. Student 2: My sister has depression and she’s going to Therapy. Student 3: My Dad Has depression, and he’s Doing REALLY Well
Little Johnny and his teacher were telling each other jokes and riddles, His teacher asked “Three birds where sitting on a wire, a hunter shot one. How many are left?” Little Johnny replied “None, because the sound would scare the other two away.” His teacher said “No, but I like the way you think!” Little Johnny replied, “Alright, now I have one for you. What goes in dry and hard and comes out soft and hard?” His teacher was shocked and said “Little Johnny! ” He replied “It’s gum! But I like the way you think!”
My teacher asked everyone how tall their grandparents were, I responded “My grandpa is 5ft 10, and my grandma is -6ft.”
Teacher: your bag is heavy what’s in there! Weird Kid: Magazines
Teacher: You cant be here after school without a parent! Orphan: -no response-
I was sitting in math class, and our teacher doesn’t like it if we don’t work on math in his class. So I did science homework on top of a math book
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