Ñàìîå ïîïóëÿðíîå 10 October
What do you get when you combine a priest and lawyer?
A Father in law
| Priest jokes |
What do friends and trees have in common? They both fall down when you hit them with an axe.
| Hit jokes |
I just quit my job at a can crushing factory.
It was soda-pressing.
| Job jokes |
| Fat jokes |
| Stick jokes |
Doctor: you don’t have long to live. 10… Patient: ten what? ten years, ten months? Doctor: 9… 8… 7…
| Doctors jokes |
| Poor jokes |
So this gu named andrew furda was my boy friend for like a half a week so five days then bam i cut my hair he only liked me for my looks and htm title=' if u see dis u going down andrew!'>i hoped he regrets it because it is WAR so if u see dis u going down andrew!
| Hope jokes |
A little girl beinng Girl: “Forgive me Father for I have sinned”
Priest: “What did you do Child?”
Girl: “I called a man a son of a bitch.”
Priest: “Why did you call him a son of a bitch?”
Girl: “Because he touched my hand.”
Priest: “Like this?” (as he touches her hand)
Girl: “Yes father.”
Priest: “That’s no reason to call a man a son of a bitch.”
Girl: “Then he touched my breast.”
Priest: “Like this?” (as he touched her breast)
Girl: “Yes father.”
Priest: “That’s no reason to call him a son of a bitch.”
Girl: “Then he took off my clothes, father.”
Priest: “Like this?” (as he takes off her clothes)
Girl: “Yes father.”
Priest: “That’s no reason to call him a son of a bitch.”
Girl: “Then he stuck his you know what into my you know where.”
Priest: “Like this?” (as he stuck his you know what into her you know where)
Girl: “YES FATHER, YES FATHER, YES FATHER!!!”
Priest: (after a few minutes): “That’s no reason to call him a son of a bitch. ”
Girl: “But father he had AIDS!”
Priest: “THAT SON OF A BITCH!!!”
| Priest jokes |
Stage 4 cancer is like a woman you can’t beat it but if you do she’ll probably come back again
A woman decides to take a well-earned vacation and she asks her brother to watch her cat while she’s away.
On the second day, when she calls her brother to see how things are going he tells her bluntly that the cat is dead.
The woman is really upset and goes into hysterics, before saying, “You can’t tell a person bad news so bluntly. You should break the news gently. The first day, you should have said that Fluffy was stuck on the roof and couldn’t get down. The second day, you could have said that she had fallen, but the vet said she would be okay. Then on the third day you could have said that she died from complications.”
The next day, the woman calls her brother again and asks how things are. He says, “Well, Grandma is stuck on the roof and can’t get down …”
| Woman jokes |
| Sea jokes |
Whats green and sings? ELVIS PARSELY!!!
| Green jokes |
A computer is a HARDware device. How come someone still feels it is MicroSOFT
| Computer jokes |
I find this website i see this person named gwen i simp fr her but just for a troll. next thing ik were some how dating? then her ex comes in and dates her again apparently he is gay. and im pretty shure gwen could be a boy but he or she has 3 friends who always back her up, just to let yall know this isnt really supposed be a dating app or drama app its a joke app and this isnt really a joke. but one last thing u guys are all biches…
| Ex jokes |
What can fly underwater:A mosquito in a submerine
| Sea jokes |
I still remember my granpas last words: turn the lawn mower off!
| Dark Humor |
What is the difference between an ISIS training camp and a school? Don’t ask me, i just fly the drone.
| Transport jokes |
What’s green then red all over?
A frog in a blender!:)
| Green jokes |
Me:Whats that sound? Ex:What? Me:oh its the elevator going up. BYEEEE see you on another level!
| Ex jokes |
Me and my girlfriend were planning on having sex but I said me and my little brother share a bunk bed and he’s on the bottom. She said tell him we’re making sandwiches so we came up with a plan. Tomato means harder and cheese means faster. So we were having sex and she was screaming tomato tomato tomato cheese cheese cheese, then my little brother said can y’all stop making sandwiches your getting mayonnaise all over my bed.
| Woman jokes |
A bear and a rabbit are at a bar getting high smoking weed talking about nothing but lies and straight up garbage. and then the bear starts to drink too much damn liquor gets drunk and ask the rabbit can i have one more scotch pretty please? And the rabbit says hell to the naw I’m not about to carry your drunk ass home with me and smell your breath.
| Smoking jokes |
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