Самое популярное 9 October

What did Earth say to the other planets? – “You guys have no life!”

A mom cows last words were to the mom cows son they were you are then died the son though that he was adopted but then 3 years later the mom cow rose from the dead and said to her son that she was going to say you were adorable then she died once more then 2 years later she rose from htm title=' her son and that’s why we adopted you.'>the dead for the last time to say to her son and that’s why we adopted you.

How does a crazy person get to the woods?

He takes the psychopath.

The pope drives around in a glass box or as I like to call him a snipers dream

Guy starts chatting to pretty woman at a party Seeing that she didn’t back off he asked her name. “Carmen,” she replied. That’s a nice name," he said warming up the conversation,

“Who named you, your mother?”

"No, I named myself, she answered.

“Oh, that’s interesting. Why Carmen?”

“Because I like cars, and I like men,” she said looking directly into his eyes. “So what’s your name?” she asked.

‘BJ Titsngolf’

What do you call a patronizing criminal walking down the stairs? A condescending con descending.

Why does a movie set say break a leg? because they have a CAST

My mom tells me and my sister to stop fighting mom! you and dad need to stop!

Why do black men have nightmares?

Because the only one that had a dream got shot.

What is a reverse exorcism? It is when the Devil tries to pull a priest out of a child.

I hope when I inevitably choke to death on gummy bears, people just say I was killed by bears and leave it at that

My grandfather died at atshuitz Poor fella fell of the guard tower

Why did the kid drop his ice cream cone

He got ran over by a bus

I tried to high five a tree, but it just left me hanging.

Two homeless alcoholics want to get drunk but don’t have enough money for even the cheapest drinks in any bar. So one of them devises a clever plan: he tells his friend “We should buy a hot-dog sausage with the last of our money and stick it down my pants, then drink a load of drinks but then when the bill comes you get down and suck on the hot-dog and it’ll look like you’re sucking on my dick so then we’ll get thrown out without paying and we can just go to another bar and do the same thing again”. His friend agrees so they buy the hot-dog, stick it down the first dude’s pants, go to the bar and then the second dude begins to suck on the hot-dog as agreed. They are thrown out and hit another four bars this way. In the end, as they lie drunk on the floor in some alleyway, the second guy says, “Well, what a great night. Free beers in five different bars!” The first guy says “Yeah! Especially since the hot-dog fell out before we even reached the first bar!”

Friends are like trees, they fall over if you hit them with an ax.

What’s the difference between America and a bottle of milk? – In 200 years the milk will have developed a culture.

What do you get when a dinosaur farts a blast from the past

I was watching my daughter play at the park, a woman came up to me and asked which one was mine, I said I was still choosing.

What’s the difference between Micheal Jackson and a plastic bag

One’s made of plastic and dangerous for kids to play with, and the other carries groceries

What did the fork say to the cake when he said i hope u get eaten

Fork off