Ñàìîå ïîïóëÿðíîå 18 October

Your mama so fat when Santa saw her he said ho ho holy S***

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Fat jokes
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What’s the difference between a potted plant and your wife?

The first is easier to bury.

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What’s the difference?

You know why I don’t buy Velcro items anymore?

They are a total rip off.

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Puns jokes
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I like my woman like i like my coffee in a big sack on top of donkey

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Woman jokes
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Why cant emos come out of the closet to their parents? because they wont be there to stick around

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Stick jokes
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What do you call a red neck on fire. A fire cracker

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Fire jokes

Me, trying to interact with people: “Hey, are you a rope? Because I really wanna HANG with you”

Person I’m talking to: Pulling out phone to call suicide hotline “haha what”

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Dark Humor
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I know five fat people and you’re three of them

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Fat jokes
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Jim walks into a bar and asks for a shot of vodka. He then says to the barkeep, “Who’s the toughest guy in here?” The barkeep points to a man at the pool table. Jim then knocked him out and paid for the shot and left. He did this every Friday for 2 months. Finally, the barkeep is pissed because Jim keeps knocking out all of his customers. He then orders a gorilla and puts him in the bathroom. Jim walks into the bar and gets another shot of vodka. He asks again, “Who’s the toughest guy in here tonight?” The bartender points to the bathroom and says he’s in there. Jim walks into the bathroom and everyone in the bar can hear yelling and screaming. The bartender asks, “What happened in there?” Jim smiles and says, “I don’t know who that was, but when he wakes up tell him I put his fur jacket int the toilet.”

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Bar jokes
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Whats the similarities between an emo and some Christmas lights

They are both going to be hanging from a tree

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Dark Humor
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A girl walked into a job interview. The interviewer said “you are what we are looking for, but i need to test your skills. ” he hands her a pen He said “sell me this pen” She puts in between her boobs.

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Job jokes

Have you heard of the new sequel to “the exorcist”?

A woman hires the devil to get a priest out of her son

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Priest jokes
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What do you call Steven Hawkins on fire

Hot wheels

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Fire jokes
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This Dwarf was being mean to me so I said “when you get home I hope Snow White kicks the shit out of you.”

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Hope jokes
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My mom said she will slam me head into my computer of I don’t get of it, I’m not to worried though, I think she is just jhehus,d.kes,jdhcuya71,hshh.jdh

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Computer jokes
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I go into get a prostate exam, I’m nervous but the doctor says its all natural and needs to be done.

So he pulls down my pants and sticks one finger up my ass. I feel it go deeper inside, feeling for abnormalities.

That’s when I realize his hands are on my shoulders.

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Stick jokes

The emo kid tried to high five the tree But the tree left him hanging

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High jokes
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Why did the wall fall over?

A drunk driver hit it going 90mph and died.

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Drunk jokes
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Fruit is like ex-wives.

They both look really good hanging from a tree.

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Ex jokes
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Q:What did one koala say to the other? A:Hows it hanging.??

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Dark Humor
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What’s green then red all over?

A frog in a blender!:)

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Green jokes
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