Ñàìîå ïîïóëÿðíîå 17 October
What do you call a girl with an hourglass figure? – A waist of time.
| Puns jokes |
My fifth wife asked me to help her dig in the garden. Here we go again
| Woman jokes |
What do you call a dog with no legs…
My asian neighbors dinner.
| Dark Humor |
| Life jokes |
This isnt an orphan joke but. I got a job at a library, but it only lasted 15 minutes. Turns out, books about women’s rights shouldn’t go in the Sci-Fi / Fantasy section.
| Job jokes |
| Fat jokes |
Your legs are just like oreos! I wanna split the ends and eat whats in between.
| Dark Humor |
The other day a squirrel asked me for a job, I asked him what jobs did you have previously. Calmly he answered," I am a pilot, I can pick it up from here and pile it over there, I also can fly a sign!!!" " To bad, this is a nut cannery, and we’re 100% automated, we don’t need anyone at this time, sorry." " No worries, I’m totally nuts anyway, guess I’ll fly a sign across town, don’t have bus fare!!!"
| Transport jokes |
| Game jokes |
If a computer was an apartment, the only passage would be the windows. It would have had doors but why was it ever spelt DOS
| Computer jokes |
A little girl beinng Girl: “Forgive me Father for I have sinned”
Priest: “What did you do Child?”
Girl: “I called a man a son of a bitch.”
Priest: “Why did you call him a son of a bitch?”
Girl: “Because he touched my hand.”
Priest: “Like this?” (as he touches her hand)
Girl: “Yes father.”
Priest: “That’s no reason to call a man a son of a bitch.”
Girl: “Then he touched my breast.”
Priest: “Like this?” (as he touched her breast)
Girl: “Yes father.”
Priest: “That’s no reason to call him a son of a bitch.”
Girl: “Then he took off my clothes, father.”
Priest: “Like this?” (as he takes off her clothes)
Girl: “Yes father.”
Priest: “That’s no reason to call him a son of a bitch.”
Girl: “Then he stuck his you know what into my you know where.”
Priest: “Like this?” (as he stuck his you know what into her you know where)
Girl: “YES FATHER, YES FATHER, YES FATHER!!!”
Priest: (after a few minutes): “That’s no reason to call him a son of a bitch. ”
Girl: “But father he had AIDS!”
Priest: “THAT SON OF A BITCH!!!”
| Priest jokes |
Despite Michael Jackson’s legal problems while we was alive, McDonald’s is still going to honor his life achievements in the music industry by naming a sandwich after him.
They’re going to call it the McMichael! It’s going to be a fifty year old piece of meat pressed between two eight year old buns.
| Life jokes |
| Dream jokes |
If you drop an emo and a piece of paper from a tree which will hit the ground first?
The piece of oaper because the rope will stop the emo
| Hit jokes |
What do you call a high school student? Alone and depressed.
| High jokes |
Zebra couldn’t find any grass then he saw the monkey cooking he thought to steal a little but he was burned in the fore and th smoke was all over him but when htm title=' and zebras are stuck in this stile forever'>he to the ocean it’s still there and zebras are stuck in this stile forever
| Smoking jokes |
A farmer walks up to his farmer neighbor with a jug of milk. the farmer says “I milked your cow”. the neighbor replies “i have a bull not a cow”
| Milk jokes |
| Green jokes |
What do you do when your dish washer stops working
Hit your wife harder
| Hit jokes |
| Stairs jokes |
Jim walks into a bar and asks for a shot of vodka. He then says to the barkeep, “Who’s the toughest guy in here?” The barkeep points to a man at the pool table. Jim then knocked him out and paid for the shot and left. He did this every Friday for 2 months. Finally, the barkeep is pissed because Jim keeps knocking out all of his customers. He then orders a gorilla and puts him in the bathroom. Jim walks into the bar and gets another shot of vodka. He asks again, “Who’s the toughest guy in here tonight?” The bartender points to the bathroom and says he’s in there. Jim walks into the bathroom and everyone in the bar can hear yelling and screaming. The bartender asks, “What happened in there?” Jim smiles and says, “I don’t know who that was, but when he wakes up tell him I put his fur jacket int the toilet.”
| Bar jokes |
| Hope jokes |
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