Ñàìîå ïîïóëÿðíîå 1 August

A salesman rings the door bell and Little Johnny answers. Salesman: “Can I see your dad?” Johnny: “No, he’s in the shower.” Salesman: “What about your mother? Can I see her?” Johnny: “Nope. She’s in the shower, too.” Salesman: “Do you think they’ll be out soon?” Johnny: “Doubt it. When my dad asked me for the Vaseline, I gave him super glue instead.”

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Little Johnny
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What is the most popular game at the orphanage?

Need For Speed MOST Wanted.

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Game jokes

Yo mama is so ugly, she walked into a haunted house and walked out with a job application.

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Job jokes
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Sometimes, stairs get me down.

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Stairs jokes
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You’re so short, when you were born, the doctor couldn’t tell if you were a boy, a girl, or a Jimmy Dean pork sausage.

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Doctors jokes
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My girlfriend treats me like God. – She ignores my existence and only talks to me when she needs something.

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Woman jokes

A computer is a HARDware device. How come someone still feels it is MicroSOFT

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Computer jokes
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What do you call Mexican that smokes weed.a Baked bean

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Smoking jokes
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All you need is a Razor Blade in life.

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Life jokes
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What do you call a green camel.

My parents left me.

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Green jokes
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Does an orphanage have daddy issues

Yes because he didn’t come back form getting the milk

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Milk jokes

My grandpas last words were, why is there a body in my kitchen.

No witnessess

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Dark Humor
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Asian man goes to the eye doctor. Doctor says, “It looks like you have a cataract.” Asian guy says, “No Doc, I drive a Rincoln.”

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Doctors jokes
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NINA YOU BETTER RUN TO HELL YOUR GOING THERE ANYWAY!!! YOU DONT BE MEAN TO ALEX!!! HE IS SWEET KIND LOVING AND PROTECTIVE!!!

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Hell jokes
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I find this website i see this person named gwen i simp fr her but just for a troll. next thing ik were some how dating? then her ex comes in and dates her again apparently he is gay. and im pretty shure gwen could be a boy but he or she has 3 friends who always back her up, just to let yall know this isnt really supposed be a dating app or drama app its a joke app and this isnt really a joke. but one last thing u guys are all biches…

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Ex jokes
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So three daughters were sitting in the same room as their mother, the first daughter asked why she was named Daisy. So the mother replies “Because when we were taking you out of the hospital, a daisy landed on your forehead.” The second daughter asked why she was named Rose. So the mother explained “Same as Daisy, when you we were taking you out of the hospital, a rose petal landed on your forehead.” The third daughter then said “ksvrjxbdkavdowbxksb” so the mother said “Shut Up Brick!”

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Family jokes

What’s the difference between a black & a white fairy tail? White begins, “Once upon a time…” Black begins, " Yall mutherf@ckers aint gonna believe dis shit"

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What’s the difference?
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I just got a job at the prison library. It has its prose and cons.

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Job jokes
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The emo kid tried to high five the tree But the tree left him hanging

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High jokes
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Have you ever tried eating a clock? It’s really time-consuming, especially if you go for seconds.

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Puns jokes
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What happened when the emo kid tried to high 5 a tree?

It left him hanging

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High jokes
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