Самое популярное 14 May

A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do. “Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?” The blonde said, “How about 50 dollars?” The man agreed and told her that the paint and ladders that she might need were in the garage. The man’s wife, inside the house, heard the conversation and said to her husband, “Does she realize that the porch goes all the way around the house?” The man replied, “She should. She was standing on the porch.” A short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money. “You’re finished already?” he asked. “Yes,” the blonde answered, "and I had paint left over, so I gave it two coats. "Impressed, the man reached in his pocket for the $50. “And by the way,” the blonde added, “that’s not a Porch, it’s a Ferrari.”

Why is Steven hawking going to hell not heaven? Because it’s a stair way to heaven not a ramp.

Q:What’s black and white and red all over A: a nun falling down the stairs

What’s the difference between you and Hitler? Hitler knew when to kill himself.

Confucius say, man who runs behind car will get exhausted, but man who runs in front of car will get tired.

/en/doctor

I’ll never forget my sister’s last word. “Is it edible?”

Yo mama is so ugly, she walked into a haunted house and walked out with a job application.

My friend dreamed of being a porno star. He did it for 3 months and decided it was not for him The next job he got was pumping petrol, halfway through filling up, he pulled the hose out and started spraying all over the car!

Your so poor not even dollar tree has your prices

If seagulls fly over the sea what flies over the bay

Bagels

What is the difference between stephen hawkings and a walkie talkie he doesnt walkie or talkie

A wife is like a grenade. Pull the ring and the house is gone.

I lost at Kahoot so I had to ka-shoot

One day, he started crying out of nowhere. Everyone started crying with him. There was a crying pandemic going around.

If you slit your wrist while crying in pain, that’s self-harm. If you slit your wrist but have no expression, that’s acting. it isn’t any of those if it’s suicide.

Jack took jill up a hill to have a picknic but jack and jill got drunk they then jill unzipped jacks fly then said you know you want me to he said yes so she took off her dress and bra jack took his pants and shirt off to they both went in the well together and playd a game jacks candy stick in jills candy stick next jill was suking jacks candy stick while jack licked htm title=' sat on jacks candy stick while making out'>and sucked her candy stick then jill sat on jacks candy stick while making out

%%Rules of Dark humor:

All subject matter can be used, nothing is off limits.

No saying “Me” or “My Life” as a joke. Nobody finds those funny. We want actual good and meaningful jokes.

Don’t Repeat Previously Posted Jokes. If you are saying the same joke that the person right before you posted you are just begging for attention and nobody by any means likes that. I will add more in the future and be frequent on this site.

Sincerely, Zane

I had a dream of swimming in an ocean of orange soda guess it is just a FANTAsea.

My friend:What are you doing Me:I?m making holy water My friend:How? Me:I?m boiling the hell out of it.

Someone stole my toilet and the police have nothing to go on.