Ñàìîå ïîïóëÿðíîå 29 September

In what ways do nuns and hoes have something in common?

They both worship on their knees. They are both creatures of habit. They both take vows of poverty and obedience. Once chosen, neither can leave the life. They both swallow their hosts.

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Life jokes
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I asked my girlfriend if he wanted to join my family tree… She dropped the rope and ran

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Woman jokes

I got a job at a library once, i got fired like an hour in because the library manager said that the cookbooks didn’t go into the women’s sports section.

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Job jokes
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Yo mama is so ugly, her portraits hang themselves.

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Dark Humor
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What do u get when u cross a stick and a dog a run away joke…

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Stick jokes
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Friends are like trees, they fall over if you hit them with an ax.

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Hit jokes

What is the difference between a truck full of bowling balls and a truck full of babies?

U can’t unload a truck full of bowling balls with a pitch fork.

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What’s the difference?
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Confucius say, man who runs behind car will get exhausted, but man who runs in front of car will get tired.

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Puns jokes
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I have big balls said the kid holding to soccer balls

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Nut jokes
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I woke up to my daughter riding me in bed. I asked “What are you doing?” She replied, “Making a Creampie.”

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Family jokes
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What do you call a Dino stripper?

A dinowhore

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Nut jokes

Why do orphans eat cerial with water? Because their daddy still hasn’t come home with the milk

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Milk jokes
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For steven hawking why is being drunk and having his power shutout the same He blacks out

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Drunk jokes
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My friend made this joke (so I’m going steal it) I’m surrounded by fat people, oh wait… it’s just one

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Waiting jokes
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Man: I got fired from my job at the calander factory. Lady: What did you do? Man: I took a day of…

My grief counsellor died today. He did such a great job. I don’t even care

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Job jokes
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I have an exam next week so I called my ex and asked if she had any cheating tips

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Ex jokes

How many children does it take to paint a wall?

Depends on how hard you throw.

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Paint jokes
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A TWELVE VOLT BATTERY walks into a tavern and orders a drink.The bartender serves him, and comments now don’t start anything.

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Bar jokes
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I asked my girlfriend if she was a smoke alarm she said “ is it because I warned him when hottness came” I said “ no, you don’t shut up

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Smoking jokes
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U wanna hear a Suicide joke nvm it didn’t make it

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Dark Humor
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Women only call me ugly until they find out how much money I make.

Then they call me ugly and poor

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Poor jokes
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