Ñàìîå ïîïóëÿðíîå 28 April

Why do trees never call emo kids?

The emos always hang up on them.

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Dark Humor
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I hated church growing up as a child, it was always standing, kneeling, sitting, standing, kneeling, sitting. I wish the priest would just pick a position and f*** me!

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Priest jokes

What’s a depressed person’s least favorite type of cereal???

LIFE

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Life jokes
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I was talking to this absolutely gorgeous woman, and I asked her, “what do you do?” And she said, “I’m a brain surgeon.” And I don’t know if this makes me sexist or not, but I was really impressed. Most women can’t pull off sarcasm

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Woman jokes
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Yo mama so poor she walked into a elevator and thought it was a mobile home.

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Poor jokes
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Boys: “Hey, can billy come out and play baseball?” Mom: “That’s not funny, you know billy doesn’t have any arms and legs” Boys: “I know, we need a third base”

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Dark Humor

I am still trying to figure out why paying the covid doctors a complement is so offensive. They even kicked me out and all I said was to stay positive…

An apple a day can do so much more than keep the doctor away… it can keep ANYONE away.

If you throw it hard enough.

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Doctors jokes
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Kidnapping is just surprise adoption, congrats! You are now all my children! Just hop into the portal that leads to the Lust ring in hell-

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Hell jokes
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What do you call it if your mom is a guy and ur dad is a woman?

Transparent

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Woman jokes
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Have you ever tried eating a clock? It’s really time-consuming, especially if you go for seconds.

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Puns jokes
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When does a joke become a dad joke?

When it Leaves and never comes back

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Family jokes

Did you hear the scores of the African basketball game?

It was Eight-Nothing

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Game jokes
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Is that a quirked-up white boi with a little bit of swag, busting it down sexual style?

Is HE goated with the sauce?

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Dream jokes
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A man was walking down the street with a swivel chair under one arm, a computer under the other and a desk strapped to his back. A policeman ran over to him and handcuffed him, saying “I’m arresting you for impersonating an office, sir”

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Computer jokes
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What do you call a bear without teeth? A gummy bear hahaha

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Family jokes
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Whats The Difference Between A Rabi And A Priest One Cuts Them Off And One Sucks Them Off

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Priest jokes

Fruit is like ex-wives.

They both look really good hanging from a tree.

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Ex jokes
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Yo mama so fat, she needed cheat codes for WII FIT!

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Fat jokes
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Last Night I had a dream I was swimming in lemonade… turns out I peed the bed.

What’s a spider-man’s dream job? Web developer

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Job jokes
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I was sitting with my little brother when he was about four-ish. He was starting to really like to identify objects for some reason, so he was showing me his toys. He grabbed his toy Mator truck and then pointed to the wheels, saying, “These are wheels.” I said, “Good job, yes they are.” Then he pointed to the bumper and said, “This is a bumper.” Again, I congratulated him. Then, he grabbed the toy’s wire with the hook at the end and said, “And this is a hooker.” I died laughing.

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Job jokes
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I wanted to learn how to drive a stick shift, but I couldn’t find a manual.

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Stick jokes
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