Ñàìîå ïîïóëÿðíîå 17 December

I went for a job interview today and the manager said, “We’re looking for someone who is responsible.”

“Well, I’m your man.” I replied, “In my last job, whenever anything went wrong, they said I was responsible.”

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Puns jokes
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What’s the difference between America and a bottle of milk? – In 200 years the milk will have developed a culture.

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Milk jokes

Boy: why is my sister named Rose Dad: someone threw a rose out of a car and it hit her in the head Boy: okay Dad Dad: No problem Brick

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Family jokes
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I just quit my job at a can crushing factory.

It was soda-pressing.

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Job jokes
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I bought a gun from Walmart today. I guess they knew what I was going to do with it, because when I pulled the gun on the cashier, I realized the firing mechanism was in reverse.

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Fire jokes
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Nutted in my shoes, now my kids are taking a walk.

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Nut jokes

My grandpas last words were, why is there a body in my kitchen.

No witnessess

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Dark Humor
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Your forehead is so big I bet your dreams are in IMAX.

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Dream jokes
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Asian pregnancy test: Stick a Rubik cube into vagina. Wait 30 seconds, if it’s solved then there’s a little Asian in there.

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Waiting jokes
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What did the beach say as the tide came in?

Long time, no sea.

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Sea jokes
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I told her roses are red violets are blue god made me pretty what the hell happened to you!! MF???

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Hell jokes

Friend: hits head* others: how many fingers am i holding up? me: to friend* how suicidal am i on a scale from one to ten? friend: ten me: hes fine guys

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Hit jokes
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Whats the hardest part when making skimmed milk? throwing the cow across the lake

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Milk jokes
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What’s a similarity between your best friend and a tree? They both fall over when you hit them with an axe.

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Hit jokes
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%%Rules of Dark humor:

All subject matter can be used, nothing is off limits.

No saying “Me” or “My Life” as a joke. Nobody finds those funny. We want actual good and meaningful jokes.

Don’t Repeat Previously Posted Jokes. If you are saying the same joke that the person right before you posted you are just begging for attention and nobody by any means likes that. I will add more in the future and be frequent on this site.

Sincerely, Zane

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Life jokes
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A father of five puts on gas mask and a hazard suit, and walks outside, but before he could make it, his son came and asked “Dad, what are you wearing?”. The father would answer with “A costume for Halloween.”. the child asked “can i join?”. He said no, for he said it’s their last Halloween. *after that, I saw green smoke all over the same house they lived in.

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Smoking jokes

My sisters name is coco and one day she was funny so I told her you

Coconut

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Family jokes
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Yo mamas so poor the ducks through bread at her

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Poor jokes
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Donald Trump is making hospitals so poor that they are using kidney beans for their transplants

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Poor jokes
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Why can’t Stephen hawking go to heaven cause he walk up the stairs

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Stairs jokes
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Life is a try not to kill yourself challenge.

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Life jokes
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