Ñàìîå ïîïóëÿðíîå 14 January

A guy walks into a bar with a revolver and yells, “WHO THE F*** F***ED MY WIFE!” A man in the back responds, “YOU AINT GOT ENOUGH BULLETS MATE!”

A friend of mine just got divorced. He and his ex-wife split the house. He got the outside.

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Woman jokes
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I really hate waiting to die… Its taking a lifetime

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Waiting jokes

Wanna hear some famous last words? “We are just experiencing some turbulence”

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Dark Humor
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Doctor: you’ll be at peace soon, sir. Me: what am I dying? Doctor: no your wife is.

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Doctors jokes
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What’s Thanos’ favorite game? Half-life

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Life jokes
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What’s Yellow and Can’t Swim?

A school bus full of kids drowning

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Transport jokes

Hey, I’m not an alcoholic! I only drink 2 times a year. When it’s my Birthday, and when it’s not…

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Drunk jokes
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Why did stephen hawkins die

He lost internet connections

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Lost jokes
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So a neutron went to a bar, he asked the bartender how much for a beer, the bartender said, " For you, NO charge."

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Bar jokes
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What is the weirdest thing to wear and what is weirdest thing to say. Weirdest thing to ware: Socks with sandals, also with flip flops! Weirdest thing to say: “Would you rather be a bath or a toilet?” “The blue angel sea slug looks like an alien.” (weird). Bonus: Things to ware with other things: Crop top with t-shirt(really hip), Crop top with tights or shorts, dresses with tights! (Cool) Oh well byeeeeeee!

All these sea monster jokes are just Kraken me up.

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Sea jokes
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What’s the difference between a dirty bus station and a lobster with breast implants? One is a crusty bus station, and the other is a busty crustation

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Transport jokes

What is 14 inches long and starts with D

A Dookie From GREEN DAY

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Green jokes
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What do priest and doctors have in common?

They both do physicals on kids.

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Priest jokes
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I went for a job interview today and the manager said, “We’re looking for someone who is responsible.”

“Well, I’m your man.” I replied, “In my last job, whenever anything went wrong, they said I was responsible.”

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Puns jokes
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What does an astronaut call his ex from space?

SpaceX

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Ex jokes
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My doctor told me that I had to burn calories, so I took a fat kid and lit them on fire

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Fire jokes

It’s all fun and games until someone fails at becoming superman.

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Game jokes
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One night, I saw a woman sitting behind a dumpster. So I took her home. We talked all the way there. When we got home, I gave her a bath. Later on, things started getting passionate. We started doing intercourse, and some of the noises she made you would have thought she was still alive!



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Woman jokes
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Nutted in her braces, now my kids are behind bars.

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Nut jokes
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R u a toaster? cuz i wanna take a bath wit u r u a knife? cuz u make me wanna kms r u a painting? cuz i hang u r u the flu? cuz u make me wanna hurl r u a newspaper? cuz u have new problems everyday r u the ground? cuz im six feet deep in u ;)

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Paint jokes
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I pushed a kid in a wheelchair into a fire today. Now they call him Hot Wheels.

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Fire jokes
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