Самое популярное 5 December

How many babies does it take to paint a wall?

One, if you throw it hard enough.

I was crying at school telling my friends my grandpa died, And they asked me what his last words were. His last words were “Are you still holding the ladder?”

Did you hear how Steven Hawkins Died? There was a mix up and he was dropped at pc world instead of A&E!

Why doesn’t barbie ever get pregnant? Because Ken comes in a different box!!!

Your forehead is so big that you dream in 4K.

So what if I can’t spell Armageddon? It’s not the end of the world

The doctor told me I had aids I said it’s your fault sister.

A farmer walks up to his farmer neighbor with a jug of milk. the farmer says “I milked your cow”. the neighbor replies “i have a bull not a cow”

What do Chinese parents hate the most?

A new born daughter…

I went for a job interview today and the manager said, “We’re looking for someone who is responsible.”

“Well, I’m your man.” I replied, “In my last job, whenever anything went wrong, they said I was responsible.”

Why can’t blind people have a sea food diet?

They have to see the food to eat

When I saw a girl sitting on the ground crying

When I asked her where her parents were, she cried louder

That’s why I like to volunteer in an orphanage

Only one of Kenny’s girlfriends has ever said he’s good in bed. But she has to. She’s his mom.

What is different about priests and acne.

Acne waits until your 13 to cum on your face

Do one day i was sitting on my couch watching youtube when i heard a knock on the door. i opened the door and to my surprise it was my dad. i haven’t seen him in 16 years, so i let him in. i noticed he had a gallon of milk in his hand and he went to the kitchen and put the milk in the fridge. then he walked towards me and said “Oh no! i forgot the cereal! ” then he walked out the door and drove away. i never saw him again

What do you call a magician who has lost their magic?

Ian.

Why don’t midgets fight? They walk away to be the bigger man

A salesman rings the door bell and Little Johnny answers. Salesman: “Can I see your dad?” Johnny: “No, he’s in the shower.” Salesman: “What about your mother? Can I see her?” Johnny: “Nope. She’s in the shower, too.” Salesman: “Do you think they’ll be out soon?” Johnny: “Doubt it. When my dad asked me for the Vaseline, I gave him super glue instead.”

Are you sad then don’t be sad because sad backwards is das and das no good.

What goes up and down but stays in the same place? Stairs.

[god creating sharks] god: ok give them 3 rows of teeth. Angel: seems excessive but ok. God: and make them mean as hell. Angel: wtf y. God: BECAUSSE I SAID SO. Angel:… god: and make one of the types have a hammer for a head angel: why do I still work for you? God: because I’m the only employer as of right now.