Ñàìîå ïîïóëÿðíîå 2 November

What do you call a dog with no legs? Doesn’t matter whutcha call him he ain’t comin’

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Dark Humor
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What do you call terrible milk?

Udder Bullshit

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Milk jokes

The doctor told me I had aids I said it’s your fault sister.

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Family jokes
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Why did the little boy cross the road multiple times?

He stepped on an IED after being mutilated on a chopping block that was on fire with a table saw and multiple gallows which were infested with flaming termites with splotches of blood all over him from his eyes after they were squashed with a brick.

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Fire jokes
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Two artists had an art contest. – It ended in a draw.

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Puns jokes
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What do you call 100 rabbits walking backwards?

A receding hare line.

How do you cut ancient Rome in half?

With a pair of Caesars.

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Puns jokes

Yo mama so ugly when her parents had a gender reveal part the balloon came out green.

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Green jokes
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What is yellow and can’t swim? A school bus full of kids.

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Transport jokes
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Kids- its time for dora kids-YAY nick jr host- today Dora is going on a big adventure with Grandma Swiper- hello kids i am trying to find my way to Diego’s will you please help me Kids- where’s dora Swiper- she’s under cardiac arrest kids — htm title=' Everybody- SWIPER NO SWIPING Swiper - AH MAN!'> poor dora Everybody- SWIPER NO SWIPING Swiper — AH MAN!!

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Poor jokes
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You use your legs as support you count on your fingers

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Dark Humor
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Daughter: mommy what ever happened to Steven hawking? Mother: he died. Daughter: how did he die? Mother: he never got recharged.

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Family jokes

Me and my friend got in to a fight I look straight forward and said look me in my eyes

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Straight jokes
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Man: I got fired from my job at the calander factory. Lady: What did you do? Man: I took a day of…

My grief counsellor died today. He did such a great job. I don’t even care

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Job jokes
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Fun fact! You can hold your breath till the rest of your life

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Life jokes
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Two men were talking about their wives

The first man says “My wife is an angel.” The second man says “You’re lucky, mine’s still alive.”

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Woman jokes
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I entered 10 puns in a pun contest, hoping one would win, but no pun in ten did.

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Hope jokes

A kid has an older brother that’s a very popular lifeguard. He sees all of the people that talk to his brother but he’s fairly ignored. So one day he asks his brother why everyone likes him so much. His older brother says “well all you gotta do is stick a potato in your pocket”. So the next day the boy goes back to the pool and he has a potato in his pocket, but everyone is avoiding him even more now. At the end of the day he goes up to his brother and asks why it didn’t work, and his brother says “dumbass, you were supposed to put it in the front!”

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Stick jokes
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A guy goes to Starbucks and asks”Hey, if I can make you laugh I don’t have to pay.”The girl in the window says,”ok.”The guys says,”A little boy named Timmy lost his arms.”The girl says,” oh no!”The guy says”and his dad left him when he was 4.”The girl says “uhh yeah.” The guy says”Ok,I guess I’ll be paying then” The girl asks”Ok, And what name will that be under?”The guy says”Timmy,I’m Timmy.”

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Lost jokes
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I hated church growing up as a child, it was always standing, kneeling, sitting, standing, kneeling, sitting. I wish the priest would just pick a position and f*** me!

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Priest jokes
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Whats the difference between a feminist and a pencil? One of them has a POINT:)

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What’s the difference?
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You are the reason double doors were invented

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Fat jokes
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