Ñàìîå ïîïóëÿðíîå 29 September

In what ways do nuns and hoes have something in common?

They both worship on their knees. They are both creatures of habit. They both take vows of poverty and obedience. Once chosen, neither can leave the life. They both swallow their hosts.

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Life jokes
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I asked my girlfriend if he wanted to join my family tree… She dropped the rope and ran

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Woman jokes

What do u get when u cross a stick and a dog a run away joke…

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Stick jokes
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What is the difference between a truck full of bowling balls and a truck full of babies?

U can’t unload a truck full of bowling balls with a pitch fork.

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What’s the difference?
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I got a job at a library once, i got fired like an hour in because the library manager said that the cookbooks didn’t go into the women’s sports section.

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Job jokes
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Yo mama is so ugly, her portraits hang themselves.

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Dark Humor

Friends are like trees, they fall over if you hit them with an ax.

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Hit jokes
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Confucius say, man who runs behind car will get exhausted, but man who runs in front of car will get tired.

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Puns jokes
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I woke up to my daughter riding me in bed. I asked “What are you doing?” She replied, “Making a Creampie.”

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Family jokes
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I have big balls said the kid holding to soccer balls

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Nut jokes
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What do you call a Dino stripper?

A dinowhore

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Nut jokes

Man: I got fired from my job at the calander factory. Lady: What did you do? Man: I took a day of…

My grief counsellor died today. He did such a great job. I don’t even care

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Job jokes
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For steven hawking why is being drunk and having his power shutout the same He blacks out

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Drunk jokes
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My friend made this joke (so I’m going steal it) I’m surrounded by fat people, oh wait… it’s just one

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Waiting jokes
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I have an exam next week so I called my ex and asked if she had any cheating tips

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Ex jokes
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Why do orphans eat cerial with water? Because their daddy still hasn’t come home with the milk

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Milk jokes

How many children does it take to paint a wall?

Depends on how hard you throw.

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Paint jokes
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Do you know why i dont like stairs…they are always UP TO SOMETHIG#dadjokes

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Stairs jokes
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U wanna hear a Suicide joke nvm it didn’t make it

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Dark Humor
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A Blonde walks into a hospital claiming that everywhere she touches hurts. So she goes into the examination room and the doctor says “Okay I’d like you to point to wherever it hurts”. So the Blonde pokes her cheek and says “Here. Ow.” She then pokes her arm and says “Here. Ow.” She then repeats this with different parts of her body until the doctor finally says that she should stop. The doctor say “I know what’s happened to you.” “What’s happened to me??” The Blonde says, concerned. The doctor simply replies, “You have a broken finger.”

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Doctors jokes
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I wont ever Forget my dads last words: “OH GOD THE POLICE!!!”

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Family jokes
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