Самое популярное 22 December

How many babies does it take to paint a wall?

One, if you throw it hard enough.

I go into get a prostate exam, I’m nervous but the doctor says its all natural and needs to be done.

So he pulls down my pants and sticks one finger up my ass. I feel it go deeper inside, feeling for abnormalities.

That’s when I realize his hands are on my shoulders.

When I was a child, my parents told me my uncle was ‘sleeping with the fishes’. At first, I thought he bought a water bed, but I then discovered he was killed and buried at sea.

Me: Hey how are you? Depression: I’m doing fine. We are just looking for a home:3 Insomnia: Mommy can we get a home? Anxiety: Insomnia wait for mommy to finish. Depression: Anyway here is my resume! Me: Okie thank you, Ok… mhmmm… WOW! Okie this is a nice resume! (Didn’t Read it…) Depression: Also I have 2 more friends that want to move in too! Me: Ok and there names? Depression: There names are: PTSD and Trauma! Me: Ok they seem fine (Doesn’t know about them) Depression: Okie here is the money (a penny:() Thank you we will call you if we need anything. Me: Ok see you soon!:3 Me now hates my life.:)

Why did Joey drop his ice cream? He was hit by a truck. (Don’t worry, the truck was fine.)

What’s Thanos’ favorite game? Half-life

Whats green and smells like bacon?

Kermit the frogs finger.

When deaf people fight, they let their fists do the talking.

Yo girl…do you like squirrels, because i’m about to nut in your hole

What runs but never stop

If i’m the night guard at the Samsung store, does that make me a… guardian of the galaxy?

What is a suicide packs favorite song… Let the bodies hit floor

Why are quantum physicists so poor at sex? – Because when they find the position, they can’t find the momentum, and when they have the momentum, they can’t find the position.

What’s the difference between an ISIS training center and a school??

I don’t know, I just fly the drone

What is the difference between American teenage girls and Muslim teenage girls? – American teenage girls get stoned before they have sex.

Your forehead is so big, Megamind though he was your long lost sibling. (me)

%%Rules of Dark humor:

All subject matter can be used, nothing is off limits.

No saying “Me” or “My Life” as a joke. Nobody finds those funny. We want actual good and meaningful jokes.

Don’t Repeat Previously Posted Jokes. If you are saying the same joke that the person right before you posted you are just begging for attention and nobody by any means likes that. I will add more in the future and be frequent on this site.

Sincerely, Zane

Losing weight is a piece of cake. Just don’t pick it up.

What’s the difference between a gay guy and a microwave?

The microwave doesn’t brown the meat.

September 2020: Three makeup tutorialists, James Charles, Jeffree Star and Tati Westbrook has gone through smoke after the controversy surrounding the three of them. Honestly, Tati and Jeffree are trash, I just don’t find their content interesting, and I don’t watch James Charles, but I also dislike his content.

Ok heres ur funi jokeee

Who is the best makeup artist?

Just because Jeffree has Star at the end doesn’t mean he is best

A lady walked into a bar and ordered their special drink, the bartender then gave her a brown glass full of milk, the lady complained about this but then the bartender said, “just shut up and swallow”