Самое популярное 31 July

A guy is at home and he’s about to go get a physical at the Doctor’s office. When he gets there, the Doctor says, “Brian, you’re going to have to stop masturbating. ” He asked the Doc why? The Doc said, “So I can examine you!”

What’s the difference between Steven Hawking and the Statue of Liberty, the statue stands for something

Me and my friend got in to a fight I look straight forward and said look me in my eyes

Q:How do you make a door cry A:Twist it’s knob

Have u ever noticed When a woman is pregnant aII her friends touch her stomach and say “congrats” but none of them touch the man’s penis and say “weII done”

%%Dad: “Son, does mommy like having lady-friends over?”

Son: “Nah, mostly men.”

Dad: “Do you think you’d be comfortable telling that to a judge in court…”

I cannot moderate myself at all. It’s either I don’t take my meds, or I take the entire bottle. Decisions decisions…

Bleach solves so many problems, Staines, Dirty dishes, messes, and over population

I was addicted to the hokey pokey… but thankfully, I turned myself around.

Whats the difference between my thighs and my eyebrows?

Nothing i slit both of them

My mom tells me and my sister to stop fighting mom! you and dad need to stop!

Woman: Doctor, where are we going? Doctor: To the morgue. Woman: I’m not dead yet, doctor. Doctor: We’re not at morgue yet, either

What’s the difference between America and a bottle of milk? – In 200 years the milk will have developed a culture.

Two artists had an art contest. – It ended in a draw.

I hope when I inevitably choke to death on gummy bears, people just say I was killed by bears and leave it at that

What’s the difference between Dark humor and Morbid humor? Dark humon is 10 babies in 1 trash can and Morbid humor is 1 baby in 10 trash cans

What’s the difference between a pizza and a baby? A pizza dosent scream in the oven.

There’s nothing more depressing than a failed suicide attempt.

Little Natalie was playing with matches. Her mother caught her, took them, whupped her and told her never to play with matches again. A few minutes later, Little Natalie was playing with matches again. The curtains caught fire and the house burned down. Another few minutes later, when she and her mother were sitting at their neighbors, her mother told her: If you think I gave you a whupping, wait till your father gets home! Little Natalie just cackled with delight, because she knew her father had gotten home earlier and gone upstairs to take a nap.

What do you call a cow that fell up the stairs? Ground beef

Asian pregnancy test: Stick a Rubik cube into vagina. Wait 30 seconds, if it’s solved then there’s a little Asian in there.

What’s the easiest way to get straight As? Use a ruler.

I was at a friends place yesterday, and… There was A mother, father, three sons, and a daughter.

That night the mother and father started f@cking each other. I yelled and told them there are innocent children in this house.

An hour later they started up again. I walked to their room and they were asleep. So I looked in the brothers room and all three brothers were f@cking the sister.

I sighed at this. “Incest aside. You guys make a cute family.” I started, “So Anna, when am I gonna have nieces and nephews?” They stopped instantly and went to sleep. “Thank you.” I replied before walking back to my room they let me sleep in and I passed out for the rest of the night.