Самое популярное 19 May

It’s all fun and games until someone fails at becoming superman.

Here’s a better version of a previous joke:

I would tell you a milk joke, but its whey too cheesy!

So this gu named andrew furda was my boy friend for like a half a week so five days then bam i cut my hair he only liked me for my looks and htm title=' if u see dis u going down andrew!'>i hoped he regrets it because it is WAR so if u see dis u going down andrew!

What do u call it when a boxer cums? Busting a nut

Guy 1: "Tell me a bad pun" Guy 2: "Alright What’s the difference between a tuna fish, a piano and a tube of glue" Guy 1: "Ok that last one was random as heck what is the difference" Guy 2: " you can tuna a piano, but you can’t piano a tuna" Guy 1: "Ok where does the glue come in" Guy 2: “Ah i knew you’d get stuck on that”

You might be

Girls are like blackjack you shoot for 21 but I keep hitting 14

Why do i love a block? because i can fall off the stairs

What do priest and doctors have in common?

They both do physicals on kids.

A man walks into a library and says to the librarian, “Do you have that book for men with small penises?”

The librarian looks on her computer and says, “I don’t know if it’s in yet.”

“Yeah, that’s the one!”

I Googled “How to start a Wildfire”. I got 48,500 matches.

I love the smell of my F5 key. – It’s very refreshing.

So a daughter goes to her dad and says “daddy can I borrow the car?” He the tells her “you know what to do”. So then she proceeds to suck him off, almost immediately pulls out in disgust and says “ugh tastes like shit” her dad then said “damn I forgot your brother took the car”

They say string theory is hanging on by a thread.

Hey guys! It’s Triple G you can give me more ideas on jokes, mainly Fish and Sea jokes as those are the jokes I specialise and only do best on the comment section below. Please do feel free to thumbs down and comment on improvements as well as thumbsing up and saying what you liked! :)

Au revouir, GGG

Light travels faster than sound. That’s why some people appear bright until you hear them speak

Sending gay men to prison makes no sense to me. I mean, you have sex with a man and then they lock you up with a bunch of other men.

That would be like arresting someone for drunk driving and forcing them to become a bartender.

Woman: Doctor, where are we going? Doctor: To the morgue. Woman: I’m not dead yet, doctor. Doctor: We’re not at morgue yet, either

Whats the hardest part when making skimmed milk? throwing the cow across the lake

Two homeless alcoholics want to get drunk but don’t have enough money for even the cheapest drinks in any bar. So one of them devises a clever plan: he tells his friend “We should buy a hot-dog sausage with the last of our money and stick it down my pants, then drink a load of drinks but then when the bill comes you get down and suck on the hot-dog and it’ll look like you’re sucking on my dick so then we’ll get thrown out without paying and we can just go to another bar and do the same thing again”. His friend agrees so they buy the hot-dog, stick it down the first dude’s pants, go to the bar and then the second dude begins to suck on the hot-dog as agreed. They are thrown out and hit another four bars this way. In the end, as they lie drunk on the floor in some alleyway, the second guy says, “Well, what a great night. Free beers in five different bars!” The first guy says “Yeah! Especially since the hot-dog fell out before we even reached the first bar!”

What’s the difference between a dirty bus stop and a lobster with boobs? – One is a crusty bus station and the other is a busty crustacean.

How can you tell the difference between a chemist and a plumber?

Ask them to pronounce “unionized”.