Самое популярное 18 September

Q:Whats the difference between a computer and an abortion clinic A: Ctrl+Alt+Delete

Yo mama so fat thanos had to snap twice

What do u call it when a boxer cums? Busting a nut

One time their was a depressed man standing in the middle of a train track a girl said excuse me can you move please I’m trying than the man stopped her sentence htm title=' than she said back easy hung it up'>and said how is your t shirt so clean than she said back easy hung it up

My grandfather said we rely on technology too much so I unplugged his life support. Luckily I remember his last words. “You little bastard!”

I go into get a prostate exam, I’m nervous but the doctor says its all natural and needs to be done.

So he pulls down my pants and sticks one finger up my ass. I feel it go deeper inside, feeling for abnormalities.

That’s when I realize his hands are on my shoulders.

How do we know Stephen is dying in hell

There’s a stairway to heaven.

Your forehead is so big that you dream in 4K.

Why did the man get fired from work cause he took 2 days off in febuary

There was a car accident and the cops pull up to the crime seen to start asking people questions. The police started talking to a blonde lady and said what happened here she responded by saying a car crash. They then asked but how did it happen, she responded the cars crashed into each other. They finally said but why did it happen. The lady said oh i know where your going with this. It happened because when cars push on the gas peddle the car goes forward and they both pushed it so they both went forward and hit each other. One cop said never mind ma’m and they stared walking away. The blonde lady then said oh and officers my computer froze do you think i should put in the microwave or in the oven?

Vagina jokes aren’t funny.

Moist of the time.

What’s Thanos’ favorite game? Half-life

You’re so short, when you were born, the doctor couldn’t tell if you were a boy, a girl, or a Jimmy Dean pork sausage.

I went out with this girl the other night, she wore this real slinky number. She especially looked great going down the stairs.

What goes up stairs but doesnt move, stairs! laugh now!

How many babies do you need to paint a wall?

Depends on how hard you throw them.

What’s the difference between a priest and acne? At least acne waits til the boy is 12 to come on his face.

Why do bees have sticky hair

They always use honeycombs

Women are like blackjack. I’m trying for 21, but I always hit on 14.

Whats the difference between a hippie chick and a hockey player? – The hockey player showers after 3 periods.

Why was the train late?

It kept getting side-tracked.

I have just started a sexual relationship with a blind woman. It’s very rewarding, but quite challenging. – Took me ages to get her husband’s voice right.

A girl walked into a job interview. The interviewer said “you are what we are looking for, but i need to test your skills. ” he hands her a pen He said “sell me this pen” She puts in between her boobs.