Ñàìîå ïîïóëÿðíîå 1 September
Why don’t emos live alone?they like to hang with their freinds.
| Dark Humor |
What do Chinese parents hate the most?
A new born daughter…
| Family jokes |
A doctor walks up to a dying man and sadly says: "I’m sorry, the test shows you only have 10 more to live." The man says " 10! ? 10 what!? Years? Weeks? Days? What?!!?" The doctor calmly replies “Nine”
| Doctors jokes |
I’ve been looking for my ex girlfriend’s killer for the past two years. But no one would do it.
| Woman jokes |
“I work with animals” the man said to his date. his date said “I love a man who works with animals what job is it for the animal” “I am a butcher” said the man
| Job jokes |
What’s a pedophile’s favorite part of a hockey game? Before the first period starts.
| Game jokes |
A guy is at home and he’s about to go get a physical at the Doctor’s office. When he gets there, the Doctor says, “Brian, you’re going to have to stop masturbating. ” He asked the Doc why? The Doc said, “So I can examine you!”
| Doctors jokes |
I hated church growing up as a child, it was always standing, kneeling, sitting, standing, kneeling, sitting. I wish the priest would just pick a position and f*** me!
| Priest jokes |
I got my daughter a fridge for her birthday. I can’t wait to see her face light up when she opens it.
| Waiting jokes |
| Straight jokes |
One day Little Johnny’s class is having an English lesson. The teacher asks them, “Who can use the word intelligent in a sentence?” Little Mary says, “The teacher is very intelligent.” The teacher asks them, “Who can use the word fashionable in a sentence?” Little Suzie says, “They are very fashionable.” The teacher says, “Johnny, why don’t you have a go? Use the word dictate in a sentence.” Johnny thinks for a moment and then says, "Last night I heard Daddy asking Mommy ‘Darling how does my dictate’ "
| Little Johnny |
Guy starts chatting to pretty woman at a party Seeing that she didn’t back off he asked her name. “Carmen,” she replied. That’s a nice name," he said warming up the conversation,
“Who named you, your mother?”
"No, I named myself, she answered.
“Oh, that’s interesting. Why Carmen?”
“Because I like cars, and I like men,” she said looking directly into his eyes. “So what’s your name?” she asked.
‘BJ Titsngolf’
| Woman jokes |
| Life jokes |
I see a poor guy. Mini me be like- mama can I giwve mwy spare money to him.?? and my mum sais yes so I give my money and home feeling SO NICE while MY MOM knows he’s going to spend it on DRUGS we go back tomorrow and then after we go to the same place and then I see him with drugs. Me- what I think fck what I do??.
| Poor jokes |
What is the difference between a cat and a complex sentence? – A cat has claws at the end of its paws. A complex sentence has a pause at the end of its clause.
| What’s the difference? |
What do you call a girl with an hourglass figure? – A waist of time.
| Puns jokes |
I go into get a prostate exam, I’m nervous but the doctor says its all natural and needs to be done.
So he pulls down my pants and sticks one finger up my ass. I feel it go deeper inside, feeling for abnormalities.
That’s when I realize his hands are on my shoulders.
| Stick jokes |
So what if I can’t spell Armageddon? It’s not the end of the world
| Puns jokes |
We may look different, but we all taste the same with a little ketchup.
| What’s the difference? |
Why do orphan eat cereal with water
Because dad never came back with the milk
I have a stepladder. my real ladder left for milk and never came back.
| Milk jokes |
| Dark Humor |
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