Ñàìîå ïîïóëÿðíîå 2 August

R u a toaster? cuz i wanna take a bath wit u r u a knife? cuz u make me wanna kms r u a painting? cuz i hang u r u the flu? cuz u make me wanna hurl r u a newspaper? cuz u have new problems everyday r u the ground? cuz im six feet deep in u ;)

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Paint jokes
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1st daughter: Dad I;m lesbian! Dad: oh OK! 2nd daughter: I’m also lesbian Dad: WTF does any 1 in this family love d!cks?!? Son: I do…

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Family jokes

Why do black men have nightmares?

Because the only one that had a dream got shot.

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Dream jokes
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Have u ever noticed When a woman is pregnant aII her friends touch her stomach and say “congrats” but none of them touch the man’s penis and say “weII done”

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Woman jokes
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Yo mama so fat thanos had to snap twice

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Fat jokes
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What do you call terrible milk?

Udder Bullshit

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Milk jokes

Why can’t a steam locomotive sit down?

Because it has a tender behind.

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Transport jokes
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I’m the champion of this site I fight with the ten rings and ten fists of the legendary buddah.

Now for my joke… Why does Peter pan always fly? Because he neverlands…

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Puns jokes
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I will always remember my baby sisters last words.“What is the fire for?”.

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Dark Humor
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A guy is at home and he’s about to go get a physical at the Doctor’s office. When he gets there, the Doctor says, “Brian, you’re going to have to stop masturbating. ” He asked the Doc why? The Doc said, “So I can examine you!”

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Doctors jokes
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What’s the difference between a gay guy and a microwave?

The microwave doesn’t brown the meat.

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What’s the difference?

A frog goes into a bank and approaches the teller. He can see from her nameplate that the teller’s name is Patricia Whack. So he says, "Ms. Whack, I’d like to get a loan to buy a boat and go on a long vacation." Patti looks at the frog in disbelief and asks how much he wants to borrow.

The frog says $30,000.

The teller asks his name and the frog says that his name is Kermit Jagger, his dad is Mick Jagger, and that it’s OK, he knows the bank manager.

Patti explains that $30,000 is a substantial amount of money and that he will need to secure some collateral against the loan. She asks if he has anything he can use as collateral.

The frog says, “Sure. I have this,” and produces a tiny pink porcelain elephant, about half an inch tall, bright pink and perfectly formed.

Very confused, Patti explains that she’ll have to consult with the manager and disappears into a back office.

She finds the manager and says “There’s a frog called Kermit Jagger out there who claims to know you and wants to borrow $30,000. He wants to use this as collateral.” She holds up the tiny pink elephant. “I mean, what the heck is this?”

The bank manager looks back at her and says: “It’s a knick knack, Patti Whack. Give the frog a loan. His old man’s a Rolling Stone”

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Family jokes
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“Doctor, I’m shrinking!” “Well, you’ll just have to be a little patient.”

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Doctors jokes
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Why did stephen hawkins die

He lost internet connections

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Lost jokes
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What’s the difference between England and a tea bag? – The tea bag stays longer in a cup.

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What’s the difference?
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What did the beach say as the tide came in?

Long time, no sea.

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Sea jokes

Why did the carrots laugh?

They saw Mrs. Green Pea over the fence.

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Green jokes
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Why did the kid drop his ice cream cone

He got ran over by a bus

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Transport jokes
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I named my dog 5-Miles so now I tell people I walk 5-Miles everyday

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Puns jokes
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A hamburger walks into a bar.

The bartender says, “I’m sorry. We don’t serve food here.”

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Bar jokes
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Yo mama is so poor i saw her kicking a can and i ask her what was she doing and she said moving.

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Poor jokes
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