Самое популярное 20 July

When I was young, I decided to go to a medical school. At the entrance exam, we were asked to re-arrange letters

‘PNEIS’

And form the name of an important human body part which is most useful when erect.

Those who answered ‘SPINE’ are doctors.

Me and my friend got in to a fight I look straight forward and said look me in my eyes

What do u call it when a boxer cums? Busting a nut

My sisters name is coco and one day she was funny so I told her you

Coconut

Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson decide to go on a camping trip. After dinner and a bottle of wine, they lay down for the night, and go to sleep.

Some hours later, Holmes awoke and nudged his faithful friend.

“Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see.”

Watson replied, “I see millions of stars.”

“What does that tell you?”

Watson pondered for a minute.

“Astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets.” “Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo.” “Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three.” “Theologically, I can see that God is all powerful and that we are small and insignificant.” “Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow.” “What does it tell you, Holmes?”

Holmes was silent for a minute, then spoke: “Watson, you idiot. Someone has stolen our tent!”

Why did the kid drop his ice cream cone

He got ran over by a bus

Other girls be like “I want a 6ft guy”, meanwhile I want to be 6ft under???

My 14 year old daughter went shopping at grocery story

She gets to the register and she asked the cashier to scan her scarred wrist,

The cashier scanned it and replied with " ma’am this item is worthless "

If a computer was an apartment, the only passage would be the windows. It would have had doors but why was it ever spelt DOS

What do you call a rejected guitarist who now lives on the beach?

A sea minor.

I see a poor guy. Mini me be like- mama can I giwve mwy spare money to him.?? and my mum sais yes so I give my money and home feeling SO NICE while MY MOM knows he’s going to spend it on DRUGS we go back tomorrow and then after we go to the same place and then I see him with drugs. Me- what I think fck what I do??.

Why do priests appreciate educated children? They don’t spit.

What do you call a high school student? Alone and depressed.

%%Dad: “Son, does mommy like having lady-friends over?”

Son: “Nah, mostly men.”

Dad: “Do you think you’d be comfortable telling that to a judge in court…”

Yo dad’s so stupid he came back after he got the milk.

So i saw two homeless people on the road fight i said stop fighting and go home i gess it was a little insensitive

It’s all fun and games until someone fails at becoming superman.

I was at my drumming lesson and I accidentally dropped my drum stick when my sister made a terrible joke. KA-DOOM-CHA

What do you call a crazy computer? Wired.

A bully walks up to a kid named Billy to insult him and steal his lunch money. Later that night when he is at home, the bully’s father comes into his room to insult him and take the lunch money he stole. The father walks down stair to check on his father in the living room. When he walks in, his father insults him and takes the lunch money. The grandfather of the bully walks into the back yard and in the dark is Billy. The grandfather walks up to him and says “Where’s my money you worthless old fart.”

Why did the blind man fall down the well?

He just couldn’t see that well.