Ñàìîå ïîïóëÿðíîå 3 November

I tried to high five a tree, but it just left me hanging.

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High jokes
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It’s all fun and games until someone fails at becoming superman.

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Game jokes
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What’s the difference between a prostitute and a daredevil?

One has cunning stunts, whilst the other has a stunning…

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What’s the difference?

Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson decide to go on a camping trip. After dinner and a bottle of wine, they lay down for the night, and go to sleep.

Some hours later, Holmes awoke and nudged his faithful friend.

“Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see.”

Watson replied, “I see millions of stars.”

“What does that tell you?”

Watson pondered for a minute.

“Astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets.” “Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo.” “Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three.” “Theologically, I can see that God is all powerful and that we are small and insignificant.” “Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow.” “What does it tell you, Holmes?”

Holmes was silent for a minute, then spoke: “Watson, you idiot. Someone has stolen our tent!”

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Puns jokes
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Where did the software developer go?! I don’t know, he ransomware!

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Computer jokes
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What is red, green, lies in a ditch and is covered in cookie crumbs?

…a girl scout that got hit by a car

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Green jokes
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The weirdest thing happend to me today i was driving 50mph and hit a speedbump aand it screamed

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Hit jokes

My dad still hasn’t come back with the milk. Now we are stuck eating dry cereal.

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Milk jokes
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I can measure the speed of an object. Because I want to km/s

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Dark Humor
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I just got a job at the prison library. It has its prose and cons.

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Job jokes
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Why are priests called father? because its too suspicious to call them daddy.

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Priest jokes
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Thanks for explaining the word “many” to me, it means a lot.

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Puns jokes

What’s black and yellow and cant swim?

A School Bus Full Of Orphans

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Transport jokes
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Yo mama so fat, she got baptized at SeaWorld.

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Fat jokes
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I was sitting with my little brother when he was about four-ish. He was starting to really like to identify objects for some reason, so he was showing me his toys. He grabbed his toy Mator truck and then pointed to the wheels, saying, “These are wheels.” I said, “Good job, yes they are.” Then he pointed to the bumper and said, “This is a bumper.” Again, I congratulated him. Then, he grabbed the toy’s wire with the hook at the end and said, “And this is a hooker.” I died laughing.

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Job jokes
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I’ll always remember my dads last words… Why do you have an axe we live in the city

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Family jokes
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I’ve decided to marry a pencil. I can’t wait to introduce my parents to my bride 2B.

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Waiting jokes

Yo mama is so fat when she got on the scale it said one at a time please.

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Fat jokes
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YOUR MAMA SO FAT WHEN SHE ASKED FOR A WATER BED THEY PUT A BLAKET OVER THE PACIFIC OCEAN

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Fat jokes
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The difference between dark jokes and morbid is

Dark jokes are 10 babies in 1 trash can and

Morbid jokes are 1 baby in 10 trash cans

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What’s the difference?
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What’s a aliens favorite computer key?

The space bar!

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Computer jokes
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Your forehead is so huge, you dont have dreams, you have movies

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Dream jokes
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