Самое популярное 26 July

If seagulls fly over the sea what flies over the bay

Bagels

Yo mama’s so poor I knocked on her front door of her house and realised I was already outside her backyard!

You don’t have a forehead you have a five head.

You don’t have dreams you have movies.

What is the best thing about living in Switzerland? – Well, the flag is a big plus.

What’s green then red all over?

A frog in a blender!:)

How do Chinese people get their names? Their parent’s throw woks down the stairs and name their children after the sound it makes,

What fell down the tree first the emo or the apple

Guess what the apple because the emo got left hanging

Stage 4 cancer is like a woman you can’t beat it but if you do she’ll probably come back again

A woman decides to take a well-earned vacation and she asks her brother to watch her cat while she’s away.

On the second day, when she calls her brother to see how things are going he tells her bluntly that the cat is dead.

The woman is really upset and goes into hysterics, before saying, “You can’t tell a person bad news so bluntly. You should break the news gently. The first day, you should have said that Fluffy was stuck on the roof and couldn’t get down. The second day, you could have said that she had fallen, but the vet said she would be okay. Then on the third day you could have said that she died from complications.”

The next day, the woman calls her brother again and asks how things are. He says, “Well, Grandma is stuck on the roof and can’t get down …”

What’s the difference between a potted plant and your wife?

The first is easier to bury.

I couldn’t quite remember how to throw a boomerang, but eventually it came back to me.

How do we know Stephen is dying in hell

There’s a stairway to heaven.

I went for a job interview today and the manager said, “We’re looking for someone who is responsible.”

“Well, I’m your man.” I replied, “In my last job, whenever anything went wrong, they said I was responsible.”

The emo kid tried to high five the tree But the tree left him hanging

I am still trying to figure out why paying the covid doctors a complement is so offensive. They even kicked me out and all I said was to stay positive…

An apple a day can do so much more than keep the doctor away… it can keep ANYONE away.

If you throw it hard enough.

When I become a parent I’m gonna regergetate my food to feed my children.

It’ll give me an excuse to make out with my daughter.

You wanna know what’s the difference between a girl and a refrigerator? “a refrigerator doesn’t moan when I put my meat in it”

Why cant emos come out of the closet to their parents? because they wont be there to stick around

Timmy has 5 apples,

His train is 7 minutes early

Calculate the mass of the sun

Despite Michael Jackson’s legal problems while we was alive, McDonald’s is still going to honor his life achievements in the music industry by naming a sandwich after him.

They’re going to call it the McMichael! It’s going to be a fifty year old piece of meat pressed between two eight year old buns.

R u a toaster? cuz i wanna take a bath wit u r u a knife? cuz u make me wanna kms r u a painting? cuz i hang u r u the flu? cuz u make me wanna hurl r u a newspaper? cuz u have new problems everyday r u the ground? cuz im six feet deep in u ;)

I remember my dad’s last words “I met your father.”