Самое популярное 22 September

I WAS GONNA CLEAN MY ROOM

BEFORE I GOT HIGH

What did the drummer call his 2 twin daughters?

Anna 1 Anna 2

I went for a job interview today and the manager said, “We’re looking for someone who is responsible.”

“Well, I’m your man.” I replied, “In my last job, whenever anything went wrong, they said I was responsible.”

What Would you find on a haunted beach?

A Sand-witch!

“Hey guys I’m a new Jokester, remeber my name as I’ll be making a lot more! !! P.s. They will be much better than this one!”

What do friends and trees have in common? They both fall down when you hit them with an axe.

For steven hawking why is being drunk and having his power shutout the same He blacks out

What does an apple and a lawyer have in common?

They both look good hanging from a tree

I had an uncle who was a conductor. He wasn’t a symphony conductor, nor was he a street car conductor, nor was he a train conductor. He was struck by lightning.

A robber breaks into a house while the residents are away one dark night. Eager to see what he can loot, he quickly starts searching through cupboards and dressers, grabbing valuables with a trained eye. Suddenly, he hears a voice come out of nowhere. “Jesus is watching you.” The criminal jumps, scared the residents are back, and freezes. After a few minutes of silence however, he assumes it was his imagination, and goes back to robbing. A couple minutes pass, before once again, the voice returns. “Jesus is watching you.” Quite confused, the thief searches the house and checks the front door, but nothing pops out as unusual. He finally decides to move rooms, and finds a parrot, but ignores it. Before he can begin to do anything, someone speaks again, “Jesus is watching you.” The robber realized it was the parrot talking! Going to the parrot, he asks it, “Are you the one who’s been talking to me?” The parrot responds, “Yes.” The thief couldn’t believe it. So, he asks another question. “What is your name?” “Ismael.” the parrot replies. The man scoffed. “What type of idiot names a parrot Ismael?” The parrot speaks yet again, “The same type of idiot that names a Rottweiler Jesus.”

What’s the difference between a priest and a rabbi, the rabbi cuts it off the the priest sucks it off

What’s the difference between dark humor and morbid humor? Dark humor would be saying ten babies in one trashcan. Morbid humor would be saying one baby in ten trashcans

An apple a day keeps the doctor away… Or at least it does if you throw it hard enough…???

Yesterday, a clown held the door open for me. It was such a nice jester!:D

My uncle is a computer genius! The police even called him a pdf file!!

What do you call a patronizing criminal walking down the stairs? A condescending con descending.

A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel on his pants, a peg leg and a parrot on his shoulder. The bartender says, “Hey, you’ve got a steering wheel on your pants. ” The pirate says, “Arrrr, I know. It’s driving me nuts.”

Q: What do u call a boomerang that are not coming back A: a stick

I told a diabetic boy to have sweet dreams, and he died the next morning

Poor kids in American schools they want books, but all they get MAGAZEENS

Where do you find a turtle with no legs?

Right where you left it.

The most confusing day of my life was when I found out my toaster was waterproof.