Самое популярное 6 September

Whats green and smells like bacon?

Kermit the frogs finger.

When you realize you have depression and depression realize how stupid you were

What’s worse than depression & suicide? Easy: LIVING Everyday you wish you were dead but than reality hits u in the face that your still alive and has to suffer living Pretend or not pretend we have to decide everyday even if we don’t pretend no onw will notice:) no one ever does:) Living is the problem to everything we get depression cuz of it and so much why can’t we just die:)?

Two artists had an art contest. – It ended in a draw.

Why did Logan Paul go to the suicide forest?

To see who’s hanging around.

What do u call it when a boxer cums? Busting a nut

The last words my Dad spoke before he passed was, “Honey put down the knife we were only talking about getting a divorce.”

As a child, my mother always told me she was going horse riding. My whole life change when I found out she was under the horse.

What do you call a magician who has lost their magic?

Ian.

What can fly underwater:A mosquito in a submerine

What talks high pitched and can’t fly?

A gay man in Iran

A young boy enters a barber shop and the barber whispers to his customer, “This is the dumbest kid in the world. Watch while I prove it to you.”

The barber puts a dollar bill in one hand and two quarters in the other, then calls the boy over and asks, “Which do you want, son?” The boy takes the quarters and leaves.

“What did I tell you?” said the barber. “That kid never learns!”

Later, when the customer leaves, he sees the same young boy coming out of the ice cream parlor.

“Hey, son! May I ask you a question? Why did you take the quarters instead of the dollar bill?”

The boy licked his cone and replied:

“Because the day I take the dollar the game is over!”

What do you call you’re daughter’s boyfriend when he brings her back past 10pm?

An ambulance

What has two legs and is red all over?

Half a cat

One day a computer said to another computer, "Why are you so dumb." The other computer replied, “Because I have low memory.”

In what ways do nuns and hoes have something in common?

They both worship on their knees. They are both creatures of habit. They both take vows of poverty and obedience. Once chosen, neither can leave the life. They both swallow their hosts.

This Dwarf was being mean to me so I said “when you get home I hope Snow White kicks the shit out of you.”

Why do orphans eat cerial with water? Because their daddy still hasn’t come home with the milk

What would be a good job for a fat person? A four-chin teller!!

My doctor told me that I had to burn calories, so I took a fat kid and lit them on fire

Ten Catholic priests all die in a bus accident. When they arrive at the pearly gates, St. Peter acknowledges them. He sees that they’re all priests and immediately says "If any of you are pedophiles, there’s no point waiting here. You might as well eff off straight to hell right now!” Nine of the priests turn around and begin to walk away. St. Peter calls after them, "AND TAKE THE DEAF BASTARD WITH YOU TOO!”