Ñàìîå ïîïóëÿðíîå 14 November

The teacher once said to some students?i was an orphan before your principle hired me.? the students said?oof that is sad? the teacher tried to ignore them and take attendance she said?is anyone missing? the students said? your parents.? the teacher got offended and later that day quit her job

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Job jokes
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I encountered a milf at a bar last night although she is 57 years old, she is still very charming and sexy

We were drinking, chatting, laughing, and having a good time

Then, she asked me flirtatiously

“have you ever tried a mother-daughter threesome before?”

I said, “Nope, not yet”.

She drank a little more, and said, “well, darling, tonight is your lucky night.”

So she took me to her place.

She took out her keys

Opens her door

Turn on the light

And she yells towards upstairs

"Mom, are you still awake?”

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Family jokes

A salesman rings the door bell and Little Johnny answers. Salesman: “Can I see your dad?” Johnny: “No, he’s in the shower.” Salesman: “What about your mother? Can I see her?” Johnny: “Nope. She’s in the shower, too.” Salesman: “Do you think they’ll be out soon?” Johnny: “Doubt it. When my dad asked me for the Vaseline, I gave him super glue instead.”

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Little Johnny
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What is the difference between a baby and a watermelon?

One is a refreshing summertime snack the other one is a watermelon.

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What’s the difference?
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The first trains were often derailed. They had a bad track record.

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Transport jokes
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IDK if this is a joke or a question but If killing yourself send you to hell where does siting in the waiting room get you?

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Hell jokes

What do you call a high school student? Alone and depressed.

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High jokes
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I entered ten puns into a contest to see which one would win.

No pun in ten did

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Puns jokes
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Yo mama so fat she sat on an iPhone and turned it into an iPad.

How do you get a fat girl to bed? Piece of cake

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Fat jokes
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Why do orphans eat cerial with water? Because their daddy still hasn’t come home with the milk

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Milk jokes
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What’s the hardest line to draw in a hospital? * …

A FLATLINE!

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Dark Humor

Why did the fish cross the sea?

To get to the other tide!??????

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Sea jokes
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Despite Michael Jackson’s legal problems while we was alive, McDonald’s is still going to honor his life achievements in the music industry by naming a sandwich after him.

They’re going to call it the McMichael! It’s going to be a fifty year old piece of meat pressed between two eight year old buns.

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Life jokes
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Why can’t blind people have a sea food diet?

They have to see the food to eat

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Sea jokes
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What do you call a girl with an hourglass figure? – A waist of time.

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Puns jokes
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Don’t challenge Death to a pillow fight. Unless you’re prepared for the reaper cushions.

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Fight jokes

What has two legs and is red all over?

Half a cat

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Dark Humor
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There is a young man smoking and a woman in a wheelchair. The woman says “why is a young man like you smoking? ”. The man turns around and says “why the f@ck are you wearing trainers…”

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Smoking jokes
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I named my daughter Kennedy so when I talked about how her brain was shot out of her head people just thought I paid really close attention in history.

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Family jokes
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What do you get when you put a baby in a box filled with glass and nails and push it down the stairs? … A boner…

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Stairs jokes
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Q: What do u call a boomerang that are not coming back A: a stick

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Stick jokes
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