Ñàìîå ïîïóëÿðíîå 4 December

I GOT a job as a pencil sharpener I would tell you about it but you wouldn’t get the point.

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Job jokes
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What do you call a freight train with bubble gum?

A chew chew train!

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Transport jokes

I’ll never forget my aunt’s last words before she died “can you stop shaking the latter please”

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Dark Humor
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What is the most popular game at the orphanage?

Need For Speed MOST Wanted.

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Game jokes
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Any girl can be a squirter if you hit the right artery

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Hit jokes
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Did you hear how Steven Hawkins Died? There was a mix up and he was dropped at pc world instead of A&E!

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Computer jokes

Do one day i was sitting on my couch watching youtube when i heard a knock on the door. i opened the door and to my surprise it was my dad. i haven’t seen him in 16 years, so i let him in. i noticed he had a gallon of milk in his hand and he went to the kitchen and put the milk in the fridge. then he walked towards me and said “Oh no! i forgot the cereal! ” then he walked out the door and drove away. i never saw him again

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Milk jokes
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Guy 1: "Tell me a bad pun" Guy 2: "Alright What’s the difference between a tuna fish, a piano and a tube of glue" Guy 1: "Ok that last one was random as heck what is the difference" Guy 2: " you can tuna a piano, but you can’t piano a tuna" Guy 1: "Ok where does the glue come in" Guy 2: “Ah i knew you’d get stuck on that”

You might be

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What’s the difference?
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What do you call a dog with no legs?

It don’t matter what you call it. It ain’t coming.

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Dark Humor
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Employer: Can you preform under pressure? Me: No, but i do a pretty good Bohemian Rhapsody.

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Job jokes
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Life is like a box of chocolate, it doesn’t last long if you’re fat

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Fat jokes

Confucius say, man who runs behind car will get exhausted, but man who runs in front of car will get tired.

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Puns jokes
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Dark humor is like a dad not everyone gets it

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Family jokes
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I go into get a prostate exam, I’m nervous but the doctor says its all natural and needs to be done.

So he pulls down my pants and sticks one finger up my ass. I feel it go deeper inside, feeling for abnormalities.

That’s when I realize his hands are on my shoulders.

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Stick jokes
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A kid has an older brother that’s a very popular lifeguard. He sees all of the people that talk to his brother but he’s fairly ignored. So one day he asks his brother why everyone likes him so much. His older brother says “well all you gotta do is stick a potato in your pocket”. So the next day the boy goes back to the pool and he has a potato in his pocket, but everyone is avoiding him even more now. At the end of the day he goes up to his brother and asks why it didn’t work, and his brother says “dumbass, you were supposed to put it in the front!”

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Stick jokes
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For steven hawking why is being drunk and having his power shutout the same He blacks out

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Drunk jokes

I’d tell a sodium and hydrogen pun, but NaH

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Puns jokes
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In what ways do nuns and hoes have something in common?

They both worship on their knees. They are both creatures of habit. They both take vows of poverty and obedience. Once chosen, neither can leave the life. They both swallow their hosts.

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Life jokes
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Are you a fire alarm because your loud and annoying

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Fire jokes
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Me:Whats that sound? Ex:What? Me:oh its the elevator going up. BYEEEE see you on another level!

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Ex jokes
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I tried to eat ass once the donkeys got one hell of a kick!

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Hell jokes
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