Ñàìîå ïîïóëÿðíîå 23 August
Two guys where on a hunting trip and after the first day of hunting they don’t see anything so that decide the next day they will split up and meet back at, the fire at dinner time. After a day of hunting they meet back at the fire and the one hunter asked the other how did your day go? So the one hunter said “I had the best day ever,” I went down the hill and hunted by the train tracks and saw the hottest chick ever, we had sex for hours in every position you could think of. Then the other hunter asked him “was she a good lookin blond? ” And he said “ oh I don’t know I didn’t find her head”
| Transport jokes |
| Stairs jokes |
What’s green and smells like bacon?
Kermit’s finger.
| Green jokes |
I KNOW IT’S MARCH, BUT I THOUGHT OF THIS!!
Jingle bells, jingle bells! OH GOD, SANTA FELL! I guess it’s time for Mrs. Claus to go straight down to hell!
| Straight jokes |
| High jokes |
A man got in a bad car accident. He was at risk of losing his arm. The doctors had to perform complicated surgery on his arm. The man’s wife visited after the surgery. The doctor came up to her and said: "I have good news and bad news." The wife said: "What’s the good news? “We managed to save his arm. ” “What’s the bad news?” “We couldn’t save the rest of him.”
| Doctors jokes |
| Hit jokes |
| Game jokes |
They should add an eleventh commandment to the Bible:
Thou shalt not f… altar boys
| Priest jokes |
| Nut jokes |
A man was having a dream. He dreamt about a mystical creature that was commonly known as the god of toast. When the man woke up, he turned to tell his wife about the dream. When he delivers the toast god punch line, his wife shrugged as she faced the opposite direction to the man. The man turned around also and started sobbing as he realised his marriage is in shambles
| Dream jokes |
Chinese Names — Annie Wan (Anyone)
Caller: Hello, can I speak to Annie Wan (anyone)?
Operator: Yes, you can speak to me.
Caller: No, I want to speak to Annie Wan (anyone)!
Operator: You are talking to someone! Who is this?
Caller: I’m Sam Wan (Someone). And I need to talk to Annie Wan (anyone)! It’s urgent.
Operator: I know you are someone and you want to talk to anyone! But what’s this urgent matter about?
Caller: Well… just tell my sister Annie Wan (anyone) that our brother Noel Wan (no one)?as involved in an accident. Noel Wan (no one) got injured and now Noel Wan (no one) is being sent to the hospital.
Operator: Look if no one was injured and no one was sent to the hospital, then the accident isn’t an urgent matter! You may find this hilarious but I don’t have time for this!
Caller: You are so rude! Who are you?
Operator: I’m Saw Lee (Sorry).
Caller: Yes! You should be sorry. Now give me your name!!
| Family jokes |
Why is Steven hawking going to hell not heaven? Because it’s a stair way to heaven not a ramp.
Q:What’s black and white and red all over A: a nun falling down the stairs
| Stairs jokes |
I go into get a prostate exam, I’m nervous but the doctor says its all natural and needs to be done.
So he pulls down my pants and sticks one finger up my ass. I feel it go deeper inside, feeling for abnormalities.
That’s when I realize his hands are on my shoulders.
| Stick jokes |
| Straight jokes |
| Ex jokes |
| Transport jokes |
What is the difference between a frog and a horny toad? One says “Ribbit, Ribbit” and the other says “Rub it, Rub it”.
| What’s the difference? |
Light travels faster than sound. That’s why some people appear bright until you hear them speak
| Puns jokes |
What is the worst part of milking a cow?
The smell of the dairy air.
| Milk jokes |
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