Ñàìîå ïîïóëÿðíîå 25 July

When I was a little boy I had this dream I was eating a giant marshmallow

When I woke I was being sexually abused

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Dream jokes
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Whats the difference between onions and babys?

I cry when i cut onions.

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Dark Humor

Thanks for explaining the word “many” to me, it means a lot.

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Puns jokes
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What’s green and smells of bacon???

KERMITS FINGERS??

Why is a cabage green? Because its in Greenland

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Green jokes
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Do one day i was sitting on my couch watching youtube when i heard a knock on the door. i opened the door and to my surprise it was my dad. i haven’t seen him in 16 years, so i let him in. i noticed he had a gallon of milk in his hand and he went to the kitchen and put the milk in the fridge. then he walked towards me and said “Oh no! i forgot the cereal! ” then he walked out the door and drove away. i never saw him again

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Milk jokes
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As a little boy I walked in on my parents having intercourse one night, and of course, my parents stopped and sent me back to bed.

The next day my dad tells me “Don’t worry son, I wasn’t hurting mommy, we were just trying to make you a little sister.”

So, when I was young I always wanted a pet. I then looked at my father and asked “Could you do mommy doggy style next time? I want a puppy.”

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Family jokes

Why’d sally drop her ice cream she was hit by a bus

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Transport jokes
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I KNOW IT’S MARCH, BUT I THOUGHT OF THIS!!

Jingle bells, jingle bells! OH GOD, SANTA FELL! I guess it’s time for Mrs. Claus to go straight down to hell!

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Straight jokes
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What is the weirdest thing to wear and what is weirdest thing to say. Weirdest thing to ware: Socks with sandals, also with flip flops! Weirdest thing to say: “Would you rather be a bath or a toilet?” “The blue angel sea slug looks like an alien.” (weird). Bonus: Things to ware with other things: Crop top with t-shirt(really hip), Crop top with tights or shorts, dresses with tights! (Cool) Oh well byeeeeeee!

All these sea monster jokes are just Kraken me up.

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Sea jokes
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Whats green and sings? ELVIS PARSELY!!!

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Green jokes
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Other girls be like “I want a 6ft guy”, meanwhile I want to be 6ft under???

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Dark Humor

I told her roses are red violets are blue god made me pretty what the hell happened to you!! MF???

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Hell jokes
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Why did the little girl’s ice cream melt?

She was on fire.

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Fire jokes
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What do priest and doctors have in common?

They both do physicals on kids.

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Priest jokes
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Whats the difference between a gay guy and a freezer?

The freezer doesn’t fart when you pull the meat out

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What’s the difference?
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You are the reason double doors were invented

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Fat jokes

They should add an eleventh commandment to the Bible:

Thou shalt not f… altar boys

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Priest jokes
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In what ways do nuns and hoes have something in common?

They both worship on their knees. They are both creatures of habit. They both take vows of poverty and obedience. Once chosen, neither can leave the life. They both swallow their hosts.

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Life jokes
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What do you call someone who used to kill people? An ex-ecutioner.

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Ex jokes
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I went out with this girl the other night, she wore this real slinky number. She especially looked great going down the stairs.

What goes up stairs but doesnt move, stairs! laugh now!

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Stairs jokes
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What’s green then red all over?

A frog in a blender!:)

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Green jokes
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