Самое популярное 6 October

Me: Hey how are you? Depression: I’m doing fine. We are just looking for a home:3 Insomnia: Mommy can we get a home? Anxiety: Insomnia wait for mommy to finish. Depression: Anyway here is my resume! Me: Okie thank you, Ok… mhmmm… WOW! Okie this is a nice resume! (Didn’t Read it…) Depression: Also I have 2 more friends that want to move in too! Me: Ok and there names? Depression: There names are: PTSD and Trauma! Me: Ok they seem fine (Doesn’t know about them) Depression: Okie here is the money (a penny:() Thank you we will call you if we need anything. Me: Ok see you soon!:3 Me now hates my life.:)

Q:Whats the difference between a computer and an abortion clinic A: Ctrl+Alt+Delete

R u a toaster? cuz i wanna take a bath wit u r u a knife? cuz u make me wanna kms r u a painting? cuz i hang u r u the flu? cuz u make me wanna hurl r u a newspaper? cuz u have new problems everyday r u the ground? cuz im six feet deep in u ;)

Boys: “Hey, can billy come out and play baseball?” Mom: “That’s not funny, you know billy doesn’t have any arms and legs” Boys: “I know, we need a third base”

Doctor: you don’t have long to live. 10… Patient: ten what? ten years, ten months? Doctor: 9… 8… 7…

What’s the difference between a dirty bus stop and a lobster with boobs? – One is a crusty bus station and the other is a busty crustacean.

Yo mama so poor, she buys used food.

What did the fork say to the cake when he said i hope u get eaten

Fork off

Why are washers better than babies?

Washers don’t cry when you put a load in it.

How many babies does it take to paint a wall?

One, if you throw it hard enough.

Asian pregnancy test: Stick a Rubik cube into vagina. Wait 30 seconds, if it’s solved then there’s a little Asian in there.

My grief counselor died the other day

He was so good at his job, i don’t even care.

My mom tells me and my sister to stop fighting mom! you and dad need to stop!

Yesterday, a clown held the door open for me. It was such a nice jester!:D

So a girl goes to Santa in the mall, and Santa asks what she would like for Christmas. So the kid says: “a little sister”. So then Santa says: “bring me your mother!”

Do you like Wendy’s? Yeah Wendy’s nuts finna go in your mouth

What do u call it when a boxer cums? Busting a nut

How do we know Stephen is dying in hell

There’s a stairway to heaven.

Girls are like blackjack you shoot for 21 but I keep hitting 14

What’s the difference between Bird flu and swine flu? – For one you get tweetment, for the other you get oinkment.