Самое популярное 2 October

I still remember my grandpas last words stop wobbling the ladder you cunt

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The Mother and her Daughter went to the store. After they arrived, the Daughter looked around and ran off somewhere. The Mother realized this and took off looking for her, after awhile, she found her tugging on a black man, the Mother asked “What are you doing” and the Daughter replied “I wan’t the chocolate”

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Family jokes

A salesman rings the door bell and Little Johnny answers. Salesman: “Can I see your dad?” Johnny: “No, he’s in the shower.” Salesman: “What about your mother? Can I see her?” Johnny: “Nope. She’s in the shower, too.” Salesman: “Do you think they’ll be out soon?” Johnny: “Doubt it. When my dad asked me for the Vaseline, I gave him super glue instead.”

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Little Johnny

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This joke is so funny I’ll bet you greened (grined)

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Green jokes

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The only time you see a depressed person lifted up — when they hang themselves.

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Dark Humor

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Do you like Wendy’s? Yeah Wendy’s nuts finna go in your mouth

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Nut jokes

Man: I got fired from my job at the calander factory. Lady: What did you do? Man: I took a day of…

My grief counsellor died today. He did such a great job. I don’t even care

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Job jokes

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I named my dog 5-Miles so now I tell people I walk 5-Miles everyday

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Puns jokes

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What did one ocean say to the other ocean? nothing, they just WAVED. can you SEA what i did there? im SHORE you did. Why are you so SALTY? dont be a BEACH.

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Sea jokes

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Whats the difference between a smart blonde and Bigfoot? Bigfoot has been sighted.

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What’s the difference?

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Why didnt the cows eat the lemon grass.

It made sour milk.

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Milk jokes

Two homeless alcoholics want to get drunk but don’t have enough money for even the cheapest drinks in any bar. So one of them devises a clever plan: he tells his friend “We should buy a hot-dog sausage with the last of our money and stick it down my pants, then drink a load of drinks but then when the bill comes you get down and suck on the hot-dog and it’ll look like you’re sucking on my dick so then we’ll get thrown out without paying and we can just go to another bar and do the same thing again”. His friend agrees so they buy the hot-dog, stick it down the first dude’s pants, go to the bar and then the second dude begins to suck on the hot-dog as agreed. They are thrown out and hit another four bars this way. In the end, as they lie drunk on the floor in some alleyway, the second guy says, “Well, what a great night. Free beers in five different bars!” The first guy says “Yeah! Especially since the hot-dog fell out before we even reached the first bar!”

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Stick jokes

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Johnny is very attached to his parents, he asks to take a shower with her when she gets in. He looks down and asks "whats that?"The mother replies "that’s my garage" he looks up and asks what are those? The mother responds “those are my headlights.” He then goes and takes a shower with his dad. He looks down “daddy whats that?” The dad replies “that’s my car.” He goes to sleep that night and wakes up because of a bad dream. He goes and tell his mother and she says “you can lay with me.” He falls fast asleep then wakes up once more because of falling off the bed he gets back up and gets under the covers. Then he feels the bed moving he looks under the covers to investigate and see’s them going at it he then yells “mommy turn on you’re headlights daddy’s parking his car in you’re garage!” THUD

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Family jokes

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What does an astronaut call his ex from space?

SpaceX

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Ex jokes

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Why was the computer so good at golf? because he had a hard drive

If a dog made a computer it would have a mega bite