Ñàìîå ïîïóëÿðíîå 8 May

What do u get when u cross a stick and a dog a run away joke…

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Stick jokes
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R u a toaster? cuz i wanna take a bath wit u r u a knife? cuz u make me wanna kms r u a painting? cuz i hang u r u the flu? cuz u make me wanna hurl r u a newspaper? cuz u have new problems everyday r u the ground? cuz im six feet deep in u ;)

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Paint jokes

What Football Club das Mason green wood play for? Prison Fc

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Green jokes
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Me and a person downtown.

Person: Hey, crazy Saturday night.

Me: I guess so.

Person: Why do people do crazy stuff like this?

Me: I don’t know. I used too, but don’t anymore.

Person: why’d you stop?

Me: unfortunately, I lived every time I’d try something.

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Dark Humor
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Today; Worst day ever

My annoying sibling got hit by a train and I lost my job as a conductor.

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Transport jokes
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Sometimes, stairs get me down.

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Stairs jokes

Despite Michael Jackson’s legal problems while we was alive, McDonald’s is still going to honor his life achievements in the music industry by naming a sandwich after him.

They’re going to call it the McMichael! It’s going to be a fifty year old piece of meat pressed between two eight year old buns.

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Life jokes
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Why do people think about handsome boys at night? Because their dreamy!

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Dream jokes
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What’s the difference between an ISIS training center and a school??

I don’t know, I just fly the drone

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Transport jokes
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Why does sally have a 100 sisters? She lives in a orphanage

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Family jokes
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Life is like a box of chocolate, it doesn’t last long if you’re fat

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Fat jokes

Hey, I’m not an alcoholic! I only drink 2 times a year. When it’s my Birthday, and when it’s not…

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Drunk jokes
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What’s the difference between a priest and a rabbi, the rabbi cuts it off the the priest sucks it off

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Priest jokes
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My brother couldn’t wait for fall, so I tripped him.

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Waiting jokes
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What did the beach say as the tide came in?

Long time, no sea.

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Sea jokes
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Yo mama so ugly she made happy meals cry

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Dark Humor

My uncle is a computer genius! The police even called him a pdf file!!

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Computer jokes
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The last words my Dad spoke before he passed was, “Honey put down the knife we were only talking about getting a divorce.”

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Family jokes
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Whats the difference between a bear with a gun and an American Man with a gun?

The bear has common sense not to fire it

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Fire jokes
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Little Natalie was playing with matches. Her mother caught her, took them, whupped her and told her never to play with matches again. A few minutes later, Little Natalie was playing with matches again. The curtains caught fire and the house burned down. Another few minutes later, when she and her mother were sitting at their neighbors, her mother told her: If you think I gave you a whupping, wait till your father gets home! Little Natalie just cackled with delight, because she knew her father had gotten home earlier and gone upstairs to take a nap.

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Waiting jokes
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I’d tell a sodium and hydrogen pun, but NaH

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Puns jokes
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