Ñàìîå ïîïóëÿðíîå 31 May
What did the doctor say to the chinese patient? Sum ting wong
| Doctors jokes |
Emo kids counting be like: 1,2,3 come hang with me! 4,5,6 Gonna get new slits! 7,8,9 Suicide! 10,11,12 Bring some pills!
| Dark Humor |
Why did Joey drop his ice cream? He was hit by a truck. (Don’t worry, the truck was fine.)
| Hit jokes |
| Fat jokes |
| Doctors jokes |
Sometimes i feel ugly, then i think of my sister and feel better
| Family jokes |
I see a poor guy. Mini me be like- mama can I giwve mwy spare money to him.?? and my mum sais yes so I give my money and home feeling SO NICE while MY MOM knows he’s going to spend it on DRUGS we go back tomorrow and then after we go to the same place and then I see him with drugs. Me- what I think fck what I do??.
| Poor jokes |
What’s the difference between hitler and logan paul? At least hitler had respect for the japanese!
| What’s the difference? |
A man got in a bad car accident. He was at risk of losing his arm. The doctors had to perform complicated surgery on his arm. The man’s wife visited after the surgery. The doctor came up to her and said: "I have good news and bad news." The wife said: "What’s the good news? “We managed to save his arm. ” “What’s the bad news?” “We couldn’t save the rest of him.”
| Doctors jokes |
What do you call a dog with no legs? Doesn’t matter whutcha call him he ain’t comin’
| Dark Humor |
Why Didnt The Skeleton Go To Prom?
He Was Dead. You Fool. You Fell For My Trick. Im Very Heartless-
Oh Wait
YOU FOOL-
| Waiting jokes |
| Dream jokes |
My gf told me she was pregnant. So I punched her in the stomach. She asked me why the hell did I did that. I told her I wanted to let her know I’m pro abortion.
| Hell jokes |
How can you tell the difference between a chemist and a plumber?
Ask them to pronounce “unionized”.
| What’s the difference? |
Does an orphanage have daddy issues
Yes because he didn’t come back form getting the milk
| Milk jokes |
Going to church, you don’t think, you are Christian. Sleeping with ten men, You don’t think, you are straight.
| Straight jokes |
Employer: Can you preform under pressure? Me: No, but i do a pretty good Bohemian Rhapsody.
| Job jokes |
Two muffins are sitting in a bar.
The first muffin says to the bartender, “I’ll have the usual”.
The second one does not say anything to the bartender because muffins lack the vocal ability of humans and even with the proper anatomy capable of speech access, they would most certainly be entirely unable to comprehend the human language. In fact, the first muffin would indefinitely not be able to provide speech to the bartender. The muffins also lack the muscular structure to be capable of support themselves to being suspended also preventing their access to movement. Even with the human like structure, muffins lack brains which are an essential part to being able to send nerve contact within the legs to be able to move. Also with them lacking a brain structure entirely prevents them from speech. The anatomy simply prohibits the food items mentioned to be able to carry out any of the tasks required to get them to said bar and be able to speak. Thus making the situation untruthful and completely idiotic.
| Bar jokes |
A guy walks into a bar with a revolver and yells, “WHO THE F*** F***ED MY WIFE!” A man in the back responds, “YOU AINT GOT ENOUGH BULLETS MATE!”
A friend of mine just got divorced. He and his ex-wife split the house. He got the outside.
| Woman jokes |
| Transport jokes |
Whats the difference between a rooster and a prostitute?
The rooster says… cock a doodle doo The prostitute says… any cock will do
| What’s the difference? |
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