Ñàìîå ïîïóëÿðíîå 14 September

What do you call terrible milk?

Udder Bullshit

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Milk jokes
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What’s green then red all over?

A frog in a blender!:)

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Green jokes

I cought my girlfriend cheating on me, with our dad.

Q:What did the elephant say to the naked man?

A:How do you breathe through that little thing?

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Family jokes
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I was addicted to the hokey pokey… but thankfully, I turned myself around.

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Puns jokes
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It says enter a joke, but I can’t enter my life.

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Life jokes
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Where did the software developer go?! I don’t know, he ransomware!

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Computer jokes

I couldn’t quite remember how to throw a boomerang, but eventually it came back to me.

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Puns jokes
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A man was having a dream. He dreamt about a mystical creature that was commonly known as the god of toast. When the man woke up, he turned to tell his wife about the dream. When he delivers the toast god punch line, his wife shrugged as she faced the opposite direction to the man. The man turned around also and started sobbing as he realised his marriage is in shambles

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Dream jokes
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How can you tell the difference between a chemist and a plumber?

Ask them to pronounce “unionized”.

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What’s the difference?
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I bought a gun from Walmart today. I guess they knew what I was going to do with it, because when I pulled the gun on the cashier, I realized the firing mechanism was in reverse.

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Fire jokes
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Yo mama so ugly when her parents had a gender reveal part the balloon came out green.

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Green jokes

Have you heard of the new sequel to “the exorcist”?

A woman hires the devil to get a priest out of her son

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Priest jokes
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Little Johnny is watching his dad shave one morning and his dad was making alot of mistakes. Suddenly his dad screams " bitches and asses!" Johnny asks what it meant and his dad replied " aunts and uncles" Oh. next thing he hears is “dicks and pussies!” Johnny asks " what’s that mean?" To which his dad replied " uh coats and hats." Oh next thing he know he sees his dad jumping around the the bathroom yelling " f@cking, f@ck,f@ck,f@ck" " what does that mean dad?" And his dad yells " cut Johnny, it means cut!!!" Oh. Next week is Thanksgiving and the doorbell rings and Johnny answers it and says " Hey bitches and asses, hang your dicks and pussies here, dad’s in the kitchen f@cking the turkey.

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Little Johnny
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Why was the train late?

It kept getting side-tracked.

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Transport jokes
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Woman: Doctor, where are we going? Doctor: To the morgue. Woman: I’m not dead yet, doctor. Doctor: We’re not at morgue yet, either

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Woman jokes
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Bf: Do you love me?

Gf: Most of time.

Bf: Well it’s either yes or no.

Gf: …

Bf: Well when is it that you don’t love me?

Gf: 2:30 to 4:00. Every time when you to the river an hour than it takes me a half hour to love you again.

Bf: Why?

Gf: Cuz you always see that OTHER GIRL.

Bf: MY LOVE! That other girl is my sister!!!

Gf: Ohh…

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Family jokes

Why did the silly girl?? put sugar under her pillow?

She wanted to have sweet dreams.??

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Dream jokes
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What do you get when you put a baby in a box of razor blades, and throw it down the stairs?

An erection!

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Stairs jokes
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Poor Stephen Hawking couldnt pass the?im not a robot? test

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Poor jokes
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The other day, I donated my car keys, $1,000, and a passport to a homeless man. You could feel the happiness come from me after he holstered his suppressed shotgun.

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Poor jokes
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Fun fact! You can hold your breath till the rest of your life

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Life jokes
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