Самое популярное 11 August

What do you call a high school student? Alone and depressed.

Asian pregnancy test: Stick a Rubik cube into vagina. Wait 30 seconds, if it’s solved then there’s a little Asian in there.

I have a pun, but I will nut-tella you!

What’s the difference between a dirty bus stop and a lobster with boobs? – One is a crusty bus station and the other is a busty crustacean.

I was crying when Sasha died in AOT, i also got jealous.

Yo girl…do you like squirrels, because i’m about to nut in your hole

What do you call a red neck on fire. A fire cracker

One day Little Johnny’s class is having an English lesson. The teacher asks them, “Who can use the word intelligent in a sentence?” Little Mary says, “The teacher is very intelligent.” The teacher asks them, “Who can use the word fashionable in a sentence?” Little Suzie says, “They are very fashionable.” The teacher says, “Johnny, why don’t you have a go? Use the word dictate in a sentence.” Johnny thinks for a moment and then says, "Last night I heard Daddy asking Mommy ‘Darling how does my dictate’ "

My 14 year old daughter went shopping at grocery story

She gets to the register and she asked the cashier to scan her scarred wrist,

The cashier scanned it and replied with " ma’am this item is worthless "

Man: I got fired from my job at the calander factory. Lady: What did you do? Man: I took a day of…

My grief counsellor died today. He did such a great job. I don’t even care

I hope when I inevitably choke to death on gummy bears, people just say I was killed by bears and leave it at that

Doctor: you don’t have long to live. 10… Patient: ten what? ten years, ten months? Doctor: 9… 8… 7…

What’s worse than depression & suicide? Easy: LIVING Everyday you wish you were dead but than reality hits u in the face that your still alive and has to suffer living Pretend or not pretend we have to decide everyday even if we don’t pretend no onw will notice:) no one ever does:) Living is the problem to everything we get depression cuz of it and so much why can’t we just die:)?

Yo mama so poor, she buys used food.

Yo dad’s so stupid he came back after he got the milk.

Father: "The church is on fire! GET OUT GET OUT!" Priest: "Ok, what about the children?“ Father:“f@ck THE CHILDREN" Preist:” Do you think we’ll have time?”

Why did the brother cross the road? Because The Sister Farted.

Twinkle, twinkle little star. I hope i’ll get hit by a car. am not dead yet, i hope i’ll die. I hope i’ll born to a new hole life.

So a guy walks into a bar and asks for a drink, the bartender says “I’ll give you a drink if you can tell me a meta joke” so the guy says “alreight so a guy walks into a bar and asks for a drink” the bartender says “I’ll give you a drink if you can tell me a meta joke” so the guy says “ so a guy walks into a bar and asks for a drink” the bartender says”I’ll give you a drink if you can tell me a meta joke” so the guy says” so a guy walks into a bar and asks for a drink” the bartender says” ok here you go” so he gives the guy a drink, so he gives the guy a drink, so he gives the guy a drink

What do you get when a dinosaur farts a blast from the past

Question: What’s bald and is in a straight line?

Answer: The cancer ward

How do you turn get a straight guy into you a gay guy well… For starts you grab that ass of his drag him into the bathroom and tell him to suck my long big pineapple and thus you have yourself one straight guy converted into dick suckin machine