Ñàìîå ïîïóëÿðíîå 27 April

I punched an orphan and told him to go back to his parents and tell them about it… oh wait

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Waiting jokes
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I entered 10 puns in a pun contest, hoping one would win, but no pun in ten did.

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Hope jokes

Despite Michael Jackson’s legal problems while we was alive, McDonald’s is still going to honor his life achievements in the music industry by naming a sandwich after him.

They’re going to call it the McMichael! It’s going to be a fifty year old piece of meat pressed between two eight year old buns.

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Life jokes
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%%whats the difference between my dad and cancer cancer dosent leave you

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What’s the difference?
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My friend got mad when he caught me smelling his sister’s panties. I don’t know why he was mad, maybe because she was wearimg them, or because his whole family was watching. Either way it made the funeral a bit awkward.

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Family jokes
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They should add an eleventh commandment to the Bible:

Thou shalt not f… altar boys

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Priest jokes

What do you call Mexican that smokes weed.a Baked bean

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Smoking jokes
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I’ll never forget my sister’s last word. “Is it edible?”

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Family jokes
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What did the doctor say to the chinese patient? Sum ting wong

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Doctors jokes
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I have big balls said the kid holding to soccer balls

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Nut jokes
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What does an astronaut call his ex from space?

SpaceX

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Ex jokes

My uncle is a computer genius! The police even called him a pdf file!!

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Computer jokes
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How can you tell the difference between a chemist and a plumber?

Ask them to pronounce “unionized”.

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What’s the difference?
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A father of five puts on gas mask and a hazard suit, and walks outside, but before he could make it, his son came and asked “Dad, what are you wearing?”. The father would answer with “A costume for Halloween.”. the child asked “can i join?”. He said no, for he said it’s their last Halloween. *after that, I saw green smoke all over the same house they lived in.

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Smoking jokes
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Women are like blackjack. I’m trying for 21, but I always hit on 14.

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Hit jokes
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Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke some marijuana, Jack got high and grabbed her thigh and said you know you wanna. Jill said yes and lifted her dress so they could have some fun, but stupid Jill forgot her pill and now they have a son.

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Smoking jokes

A guy walks into a bar with a revolver and yells, “WHO THE F*** F***ED MY WIFE!” A man in the back responds, “YOU AINT GOT ENOUGH BULLETS MATE!”

A friend of mine just got divorced. He and his ex-wife split the house. He got the outside.

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Woman jokes
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Employer: Can you preform under pressure? Me: No, but i do a pretty good Bohemian Rhapsody.

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Job jokes
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School was fun but it was hard almost like riding a bike that’s on fire and the grounds on fire and everything’s on fire because it’s hell.

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Hell jokes
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How many babys does it take to paint wheels red?

It depends on your speed.

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Paint jokes
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Little Jonny just came back from quarantine with his girlfriend Sally. They both said they had to go to the bathroom. When they came back Sally was coughing up a storm. The teacher said you need to be quarantined again. No sally said I was just in the bathroom choking on something that grown-ups especially women like. Then the teacher faints.

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Woman jokes
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