Ñàìîå ïîïóëÿðíîå 27 April

I punched an orphan and told him to go back to his parents and tell them about it… oh wait

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Waiting jokes
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%%whats the difference between my dad and cancer cancer dosent leave you

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What’s the difference?

I entered 10 puns in a pun contest, hoping one would win, but no pun in ten did.

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Hope jokes
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My friend got mad when he caught me smelling his sister’s panties. I don’t know why he was mad, maybe because she was wearimg them, or because his whole family was watching. Either way it made the funeral a bit awkward.

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Family jokes
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Friend: hits head* others: how many fingers am i holding up? me: to friend* how suicidal am i on a scale from one to ten? friend: ten me: hes fine guys

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Hit jokes
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Despite Michael Jackson’s legal problems while we was alive, McDonald’s is still going to honor his life achievements in the music industry by naming a sandwich after him.

They’re going to call it the McMichael! It’s going to be a fifty year old piece of meat pressed between two eight year old buns.

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Life jokes

They should add an eleventh commandment to the Bible:

Thou shalt not f… altar boys

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Priest jokes
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A guy walks into a bar with a revolver and yells, “WHO THE F*** F***ED MY WIFE!” A man in the back responds, “YOU AINT GOT ENOUGH BULLETS MATE!”

A friend of mine just got divorced. He and his ex-wife split the house. He got the outside.

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Woman jokes
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What did the doctor say to the chinese patient? Sum ting wong

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Doctors jokes
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What do you call Mexican that smokes weed.a Baked bean

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Smoking jokes
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I’ll never forget my sister’s last word. “Is it edible?”

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Family jokes

Employer: Can you preform under pressure? Me: No, but i do a pretty good Bohemian Rhapsody.

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Job jokes
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What does an astronaut call his ex from space?

SpaceX

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Ex jokes
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Women are like blackjack. I’m trying for 21, but I always hit on 14.

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Hit jokes
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I have big balls said the kid holding to soccer balls

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Nut jokes
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How many babys does it take to paint wheels red?

It depends on your speed.

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Paint jokes

How can you tell the difference between a chemist and a plumber?

Ask them to pronounce “unionized”.

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What’s the difference?
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A father of five puts on gas mask and a hazard suit, and walks outside, but before he could make it, his son came and asked “Dad, what are you wearing?”. The father would answer with “A costume for Halloween.”. the child asked “can i join?”. He said no, for he said it’s their last Halloween. *after that, I saw green smoke all over the same house they lived in.

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Smoking jokes
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You know the song getting drunk on a plane it was written by the pilot of the linerd skinerd pilot

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Drunk jokes
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My uncle is a computer genius! The police even called him a pdf file!!

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Computer jokes
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School was fun but it was hard almost like riding a bike that’s on fire and the grounds on fire and everything’s on fire because it’s hell.

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Hell jokes
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