Ñàìîå ïîïóëÿðíîå 24 October

A fat man meets a skinny man The fat man tells the skinny man: “when people look at you, they think the world’s starving to death”

And the skinny man responds: “when they look at you, they know why”

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Fat jokes
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What do you call a crazy computer? Wired.

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Computer jokes

Have you heard of the new sequel to “the exorcist”?

A woman hires the devil to get a priest out of her son

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Priest jokes
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I went out with this girl the other night, she wore this real slinky number. She especially looked great going down the stairs.

What goes up stairs but doesnt move, stairs! laugh now!

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Stairs jokes
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What’s the easiest way to get straight As? Use a ruler.

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Straight jokes
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The teacher once said to some students?i was an orphan before your principle hired me.? the students said?oof that is sad? the teacher tried to ignore them and take attendance she said?is anyone missing? the students said? your parents.? the teacher got offended and later that day quit her job

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Job jokes

Where do you find a dog with no legs?

Where you left it.

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Dark Humor
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My wife said if I don’t get of the computer shes gonna slam my head in to the keyboard but I think I’ll ajlkfsdhnvkwr;anhf

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Computer jokes
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Why did the carrots laugh?

They saw Mrs. Green Pea over the fence.

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Green jokes
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How do we know Stephen is dying in hell

There’s a stairway to heaven.

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Hell jokes
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Why did the cloud apply to stormtrooper training school?

He mist.

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Transport jokes

I couldn’t quite remember how to throw a boomerang, but eventually it came back to me.

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Puns jokes
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I went to visit my friends sick grandpa. He was lying in a hospital bed connected to a lot of tubes. When I approached him he kept repeating “Ni caizhe wo de yangqi guan”

Suddenly right in front of me, he passed. Later that night I translated his last words, and they were “You’re standing on my oxygen tube”

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Dark Humor
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What’s the hardest line to draw in a hospital? * …

A FLATLINE!

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Dark Humor
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I was in an audition for the lead role of movie ‘Aquaman’. The Director told me to dive into a pool. Then outta nowhere Penaldo showed up and made a big dive into the pool. The director was impressed and selected Penaldo for the movie. Shame on you penaldo for destroying my dream

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Dream jokes
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Wood fired pizza how would pizza get a job now

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Job jokes

Tits are like Lego bricks. They’re there for the kid, but dad ends up playing with them.

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Family jokes
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Are you a fire alarm because your loud and annoying

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Fire jokes
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Why do orphans eat cerial with water? Because their daddy still hasn’t come home with the milk

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Milk jokes
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You are so fat that the waiter said to you everytime: ‘sorry for your weight’ instead of ‘sorry for the wait’

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Waiting jokes
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I am still trying to figure out why paying the covid doctors a complement is so offensive. They even kicked me out and all I said was to stay positive…

An apple a day can do so much more than keep the doctor away… it can keep ANYONE away.

If you throw it hard enough.

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Doctors jokes
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