Самое популярное 18 June

They both worship on their knees. They are both creatures of habit. They both take vows of poverty and obedience. Once chosen, neither can leave the life. They both swallow their hosts.

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Life jokes

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Yo momma is so fat when she got on the scale it said, “I need your weight not your phone number.”

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Fat jokes

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%%Dad: “Son, does mommy like having lady-friends over?”

Son: “Nah, mostly men.”

Dad: “Do you think you’d be comfortable telling that to a judge in court…”

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Family jokes

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Why can’t blind people have a sea food diet?

They have to see the food to eat

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Sea jokes

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A guy walks into a bar with a revolver and yells, “WHO THE F*** F***ED MY WIFE!” A man in the back responds, “YOU AINT GOT ENOUGH BULLETS MATE!”

A friend of mine just got divorced. He and his ex-wife split the house. He got the outside.

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Woman jokes

A man got in a bad car accident. He was at risk of losing his arm. The doctors had to perform complicated surgery on his arm. The man’s wife visited after the surgery. The doctor came up to her and said: "I have good news and bad news." The wife said: "What’s the good news? “We managed to save his arm. ” “What’s the bad news?” “We couldn’t save the rest of him.”

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Doctors jokes

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Girlfriend: you remind me of a cellphone

Ex Boyfriend: how and why?

Girlfriend: Because your about to die

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Woman jokes

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Your mum was poor so she went to rob the bank but she left cuz she couldnt find the cameras. she left her son and the security [girl] gave him the camera.

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Poor jokes

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What did the fork say to the cake when he said i hope u get eaten

Fork off

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Hope jokes

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Luca’s Mom & Dad Be throwing the kids into the Fountain in the city but there sea monster so if the went to jail for that the would be on death row anyways.??

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Sea jokes

I just got a job at the prison library. It has its prose and cons.

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Job jokes

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My ex got into a bad accident recently. I told the doctors the wrong blood type. Now she will really know what rejection feels like

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Ex jokes

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I lost my job by giving up my seat to someone I didn’t know you’re not supposed to do that if you’re a bus driver!

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Transport jokes

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Yo mama so old on her birth certificate it said expired yo mama so fat when she sat non a rainbow skittles popped out yo mama so fat when she sat on walmart the prices went down yo mama so poor she chases a garbage htm title=' ugly she made the deviel go to church'>truck with a shopping list yo mama so ugly she made the deviel go to church

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Poor jokes

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A man decides on a day that it is time to buy a pet. He goes to the pet store, looks around and sees a beautiful parrot, sitting quietly on a stick in his cage. Yet the beast has no feet and paws. “What is the matter with you?” the man thinks aloud. “Well, that’s how I was born, I’m actually a faulty parrot” says the bird. “Haha,” the man laughs, “it seems like that

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parrot understands what I’m saying and even answers!” “I understand everything you say, I am extremely intelligent and very well educated,” says the bird. “Well, if you’re so smart then tell me how you can stay on your stick without legs.” “Well,” says the parrot, “it’s a bit embarrassing, but okay, I wrap my little parrot penis around the stick, like a hook, but I hide that with my thick feathers.” “Wow, you really understand everything I say, do not you?” “Yes, yes,” replies the bird, "and I speak Spanish and English fluently, I can speak on a level about almost everything, politics, religion, sport and philosophy and I specialize in bird science, you should buy me, I am also a very good friend for you. " The man looks at the price tag, 200 euros is on it. “Sorry, I can not afford that.” “Psst,” whispers the parrot as he beckons the man with his wing closer. "Nobody wants me because I do not have legs, just bid 25 euros and you can take me with you." The man offers 25 euros and walks 5 minutes later with the parrot out of the store. A few weeks pass. The parrot is sensational. He is fun and interesting, gives good advice, is sympathetic to everyone, in short; the perfect roommate and friend. One day the man comes home from work and the parrot says “Pssssssssssst” while he beckons his wing again. The man comes close to the cage. “I do not know if I should tell you this,” says the parrot, “but it’s about your wife and the postman.” “What!?” says the man. “Well, the postman came to the door and your wife greeted him in a nothing disguised nightgown and kissed him flat on the mouth.” “And then,” the man hisses, “What happened then?” “Well, the postman came in, grabbed her nightgown and started caressing her everywhere.” “My God,” says the now furious man, “And what else did they do?” “Then he took off her nightgown, went through his knees and started to lick her everywhere, starting at her breasts and getting further and further down.” “And then, what happened, what else did they do?” the man screams. “No idea,” says the papgaai, “I got a boner and thundered off my stick …”

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