Ñàìîå ïîïóëÿðíîå 17 September

I know five fat people and you’re three of them

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Fat jokes
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What’s Thanos’ favorite game? Half-life

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Life jokes
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What did the fork say to the cake when he said i hope u get eaten

Fork off

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Hope jokes

What’s worse than depression & suicide? Easy: LIVING Everyday you wish you were dead but than reality hits u in the face that your still alive and has to suffer living Pretend or not pretend we have to decide everyday even if we don’t pretend no onw will notice:) no one ever does:) Living is the problem to everything we get depression cuz of it and so much why can’t we just die:)?

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Hit jokes
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What do you call a green boner the Grintch

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Green jokes
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So what if I can’t spell Armageddon? It’s not the end of the world

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Puns jokes
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Johnny is very attached to his parents, he asks to take a shower with her when she gets in. He looks down and asks "whats that?"The mother replies "that’s my garage" he looks up and asks what are those? The mother responds “those are my headlights.” He then goes and takes a shower with his dad. He looks down “daddy whats that?” The dad replies “that’s my car.” He goes to sleep that night and wakes up because of a bad dream. He goes and tell his mother and she says “you can lay with me.” He falls fast asleep then wakes up once more because of falling off the bed he gets back up and gets under the covers. Then he feels the bed moving he looks under the covers to investigate and see’s them going at it he then yells “mommy turn on you’re headlights daddy’s parking his car in you’re garage!” THUD

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Family jokes

What does a priest and a clown have in common?

They both make children cry

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Priest jokes
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Why do bees have sticky hair

They always use honeycombs

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Puns jokes
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Q:How do you make a door cry A:Twist it’s knob

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Dark Humor
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I was born and raised in Newcastle. My grandfather used to tell me stories about Penaldo, a goblin from Portugal that travels to England when Newcastle is playing. He scores a tapin and then disappears until the next Newcastle game I still have nightmares that he’s in our stadium

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Game jokes
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Why Didnt The Skeleton Go To Prom?

He Was Dead. You Fool. You Fell For My Trick. Im Very Heartless-

Oh Wait

YOU FOOL-

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Waiting jokes

A man walks into a library and says to the librarian, “Do you have that book for men with small penises?”

The librarian looks on her computer and says, “I don’t know if it’s in yet.”

“Yeah, that’s the one!”

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Computer jokes
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Girls are like blackjack you shoot for 21 but I keep hitting 14

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Hit jokes
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My friend:What are you doing Me:I?m making holy water My friend:How? Me:I?m boiling the hell out of it.

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Hell jokes
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A cat gets its tail run over, and it’s mother assured him it’ll be okay. “You just have to stay PAW-sitive!”

The mother was later killed in her sleep because her son hates puns. At the funeral, one of her daughters said, “You have CAT to be KITTEN me right MEOW!”

Guess who dies next.

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Family jokes
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What is a suicide packs favorite song… Let the bodies hit floor

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Hit jokes

Poor kids in American schools they want books, but all they get MAGAZEENS

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Poor jokes
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It was the year 1912, I was in the SS. titanic, and I woke from a dream to think, “I’ve heard of wet dreams, but is that WATER?”

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Dream jokes
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Did you know that Iceland is only one sea away from Ireland?

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Sea jokes
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I wanted to learn how to drive a stick shift, but I couldn’t find a manual.

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Stick jokes
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If u tell a girl there pretty they wont believe u if u tell them their ugly their never forget it…

Elephants never forget.

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Ex jokes
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