Ñàìîå ïîïóëÿðíîå 13 May

Whats the similarities between an emo and some Christmas lights

They are both going to be hanging from a tree

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Dark Humor
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I was watching my daughter play at the park, a woman came up to me and asked which one was mine, I said I was still choosing.

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Woman jokes

This joke is so funny I’ll bet you greened (grined)

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Green jokes
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What’s the difference between an ISIS training center and a school??

I don’t know, I just fly the drone

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Transport jokes
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You know why I don’t buy Velcro items anymore?

They are a total rip off.

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Puns jokes
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So what if I can’t spell Armageddon? It’s not the end of the world

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Puns jokes

When do you go on red and stop at green A watermelon

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Green jokes
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I cant wait to see Uranus??

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Waiting jokes
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What do you call a bear without teeth? A gummy bear hahaha

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Family jokes
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When I was a child, my parents told me my uncle was ‘sleeping with the fishes’. At first, I thought he bought a water bed, but I then discovered he was killed and buried at sea.

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Sea jokes
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Your forehead is so big that you dream in 4K.

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Dream jokes

There’s nothing more depressing than a failed suicide attempt.

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Dark Humor
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What’s the difference between Steven Hawking and the Statue of Liberty, the statue stands for something

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What’s the difference?
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Yo Mama so fat when she stepped on the scale it said-- To be continued

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Fat jokes
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Sometimes, stairs get me down.

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Stairs jokes
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My 14 year old daughter went shopping at grocery story

She gets to the register and she asked the cashier to scan her scarred wrist,

The cashier scanned it and replied with " ma’am this item is worthless "

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Family jokes

What do you call a freight train with bubble gum?

A chew chew train!

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Transport jokes
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When you throw your peanut butter sandwich at the nut allergy table 25+ kill streak

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Nut jokes
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Little Natalie was playing with matches. Her mother caught her, took them, whupped her and told her never to play with matches again. A few minutes later, Little Natalie was playing with matches again. The curtains caught fire and the house burned down. Another few minutes later, when she and her mother were sitting at their neighbors, her mother told her: If you think I gave you a whupping, wait till your father gets home! Little Natalie just cackled with delight, because she knew her father had gotten home earlier and gone upstairs to take a nap.

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Waiting jokes
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Why are Egyptian gods orphans Because Egypt needs to sell Anubis (a-new-bus) every year to make a prophet

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Transport jokes
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My doctor told me that I had to burn calories, so I took a fat kid and lit them on fire

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Fire jokes
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