Самое популярное 25 December

What do you call a green camel.

My parents left me.

Thanks for explaining the word “many” to me, it means a lot.

So a doctor walks into the room with a dying patient. He looks the man up and down and says gravely: “I’m sorry, you only have ten left.” The other man smiles nervously and asks, “T-ten what doc? Hours? Days? Weeks?” The doctor calmly looks at him. “Nine.”

When I was a little boy I had this dream I was eating a giant marshmallow

When I woke I was being sexually abused

What is the difference between a truck full of bowling balls and a truck full of babies?

U can’t unload a truck full of bowling balls with a pitch fork.

I pushed an orphan in a wheelchair into a fire and yelled hot wheels

I was sitting with my little brother when he was about four-ish. He was starting to really like to identify objects for some reason, so he was showing me his toys. He grabbed his toy Mator truck and then pointed to the wheels, saying, “These are wheels.” I said, “Good job, yes they are.” Then he pointed to the bumper and said, “This is a bumper.” Again, I congratulated him. Then, he grabbed the toy’s wire with the hook at the end and said, “And this is a hooker.” I died laughing.

What’s red green and smells like shit

…red and green shit

My gf told me she was pregnant. So I punched her in the stomach. She asked me why the hell did I did that. I told her I wanted to let her know I’m pro abortion.

Daughter: “Hey dad, how do you feel about abortion?” Father: "Ask your sister” Daughter: “I don’t have a…”

Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke some marijuana, Jack got high and grabbed her thigh and said you know you wanna. Jill said yes and lifted her dress so they could have some fun, but stupid Jill forgot her pill and now they have a son.

A prisoner was told how he’ll be executed. Needless to say, he was shocked.

I’ve been looking for my ex girlfriend’s killer for the past two years. But no one would do it.

My dad went to go buy milk, but he walks as slow as my grandmother. My grandmother is paralyzed in the legs.

Dont trust atoms they make up everything.

What to gift a child molester, who already has everything? A bigger county with more believers

Yo mama so fat that she needs two watches for two different time zones

How many babies does it take to paint a wall?

Depends how hard you throw them

What’s the difference between a priest and a rabbi, the rabbi cuts it off the the priest sucks it off

Why did the zookeeper lose his job? for choking the chicken and spanking the monkey!

One day someones ex was going to the kitchen to get something to eat and her ex boyfriend was there and gave her an apple next minute she had clamydia. What did the boyfriend do?

In what ways do nuns and hoes have something in common?

They both worship on their knees. They are both creatures of habit. They both take vows of poverty and obedience. Once chosen, neither can leave the life. They both swallow their hosts.