Ñàìîå ïîïóëÿðíîå 8 May

What do u get when u cross a stick and a dog a run away joke…

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Stick jokes
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What Football Club das Mason green wood play for? Prison Fc

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Green jokes
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R u a toaster? cuz i wanna take a bath wit u r u a knife? cuz u make me wanna kms r u a painting? cuz i hang u r u the flu? cuz u make me wanna hurl r u a newspaper? cuz u have new problems everyday r u the ground? cuz im six feet deep in u ;)

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Paint jokes

What’s the difference between an ISIS training center and a school??

I don’t know, I just fly the drone

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Transport jokes
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Hey, I’m not an alcoholic! I only drink 2 times a year. When it’s my Birthday, and when it’s not…

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Drunk jokes
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Why do people think about handsome boys at night? Because their dreamy!

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Dream jokes
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Sometimes, stairs get me down.

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Stairs jokes

Today; Worst day ever

My annoying sibling got hit by a train and I lost my job as a conductor.

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Transport jokes
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What’s the difference between a priest and a rabbi, the rabbi cuts it off the the priest sucks it off

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Priest jokes
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Me and a person downtown.

Person: Hey, crazy Saturday night.

Me: I guess so.

Person: Why do people do crazy stuff like this?

Me: I don’t know. I used too, but don’t anymore.

Person: why’d you stop?

Me: unfortunately, I lived every time I’d try something.

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Dark Humor
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Despite Michael Jackson’s legal problems while we was alive, McDonald’s is still going to honor his life achievements in the music industry by naming a sandwich after him.

They’re going to call it the McMichael! It’s going to be a fifty year old piece of meat pressed between two eight year old buns.

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Life jokes
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Why does sally have a 100 sisters? She lives in a orphanage

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Family jokes

Life is like a box of chocolate, it doesn’t last long if you’re fat

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Fat jokes
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I’d tell a sodium and hydrogen pun, but NaH

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Puns jokes
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What did the beach say as the tide came in?

Long time, no sea.

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Sea jokes
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Little Natalie was playing with matches. Her mother caught her, took them, whupped her and told her never to play with matches again. A few minutes later, Little Natalie was playing with matches again. The curtains caught fire and the house burned down. Another few minutes later, when she and her mother were sitting at their neighbors, her mother told her: If you think I gave you a whupping, wait till your father gets home! Little Natalie just cackled with delight, because she knew her father had gotten home earlier and gone upstairs to take a nap.

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Waiting jokes
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Five little monkeys jumping on the bed,

One fell off and bumped his head.

The momma called the doctor and the doctor said…

“We’re calling Child Protective Services.”

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Doctors jokes

The last words my Dad spoke before he passed was, “Honey put down the knife we were only talking about getting a divorce.”

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Family jokes
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Whats the difference between a bear with a gun and an American Man with a gun?

The bear has common sense not to fire it

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Fire jokes
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My brother couldn’t wait for fall, so I tripped him.

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Waiting jokes
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Yo mama so ugly she made happy meals cry

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Dark Humor
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A friend of mine tried to annoy me with bird puns, but I soon realized that toucan play at that game.

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Game jokes
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