Самое популярное 4 May

Emo kids counting be like: 1,2,3 come hang with me! 4,5,6 Gonna get new slits! 7,8,9 Suicide! 10,11,12 Bring some pills!

Yo mama is so fat when she got on the scale it said one at a time please.

I can barely remember the last words my uncle told me

Let go of my nose

Mother: Who do you like more, me or your dad. Liam: I like you both. Mother: Ok, if I go to america and your dad goes to paris, where will you go Liam: I will go to paris. Mother: That’s means you like dad more Liam: No, its because i like paris Mother: Ok, fine, if I go to paris and your dad goes to america, where will you go. Liam: I will go to America. Mother: Why Liam: Because I have already gone to paris.

Why do bees have sticky hair

They always use honeycombs

What do priest and doctors have in common?

They both do physicals on kids.

What is the difference between stephen hawkings and a walkie talkie he doesnt walkie or talkie

Little Johnny is watching his dad shave one morning and his dad was making alot of mistakes. Suddenly his dad screams " bitches and asses!" Johnny asks what it meant and his dad replied " aunts and uncles" Oh. next thing he hears is “dicks and pussies!” Johnny asks " what’s that mean?" To which his dad replied " uh coats and hats." Oh next thing he know he sees his dad jumping around the the bathroom yelling " f@cking, f@ck,f@ck,f@ck" " what does that mean dad?" And his dad yells " cut Johnny, it means cut!!!" Oh. Next week is Thanksgiving and the doorbell rings and Johnny answers it and says " Hey bitches and asses, hang your dicks and pussies here, dad’s in the kitchen f@cking the turkey.

Why couldn’t the dairy farmer find his home? He lost the whey!??

Why did the fish cross the sea?

To get to the other tide!??????

Yo momma is so fat when she got on the scale it said, “I need your weight not your phone number.”

How does a crazy person get to the woods?

He takes the psychopath.

I wanna be a Christmas decoration cause they always do be hanging

Once upon a time there was a poor man, a middle class man, and a rich man. They were all talking about how they found happiness in their lives. The rich man said “I found happiness through money and all of my assets.” The middle class man said “I found happiness through my steady job and my loving household.” The poor man said “I may not have much, but I find my happiness through the little acts of kindness people show me. ” And then the wall fell on them.

Q: How do you know when an Asian broke into your house?

A: Your math homework is done, your computer is upgraded, and 2 hours later he’s still trying to back out of the driveway.

I wont ever Forget my dads last words: “OH GOD THE POLICE!!!”

Have you heard of the new sequel to “the exorcist”?

A woman hires the devil to get a priest out of her son

There’s a one-story house in which everything is yellow. Yellow walls, yellow doors, yellow furniture. What color are the stairs? Answer: There aren’t any—it’s a one-story house.

Kids are so ungrateful sometimes. I bought a wheelchair for my son, Did he say thank you? Nope! That mtf just sat in his wheelchair the whole time crying the whole day.??

Why did the kid drop his ice cream cone?

Because he got hit by a bus!

Despite Michael Jackson’s legal problems while we was alive, McDonald’s is still going to honor his life achievements in the music industry by naming a sandwich after him.

They’re going to call it the McMichael! It’s going to be a fifty year old piece of meat pressed between two eight year old buns.