Самое популярное 1 May

Will glass coffins be a success? – Remains to be seen.

Why do people think about handsome boys at night? Because their dreamy!

So a doctor walks into the room with a dying patient. He looks the man up and down and says gravely: “I’m sorry, you only have ten left.” The other man smiles nervously and asks, “T-ten what doc? Hours? Days? Weeks?” The doctor calmly looks at him. “Nine.”

Do one day i was sitting on my couch watching youtube when i heard a knock on the door. i opened the door and to my surprise it was my dad. i haven’t seen him in 16 years, so i let him in. i noticed he had a gallon of milk in his hand and he went to the kitchen and put the milk in the fridge. then he walked towards me and said “Oh no! i forgot the cereal! ” then he walked out the door and drove away. i never saw him again

Jack and rose went on a cruise to do it in the water. jack seldom wore a condom, and now they have a daughter.

My sister told me she like Medusa. I said h. My sister said my blow jobs are so good she looks up at the guy facial expression and when the look down they do nothing, but stay still.

What’s the difference between Bird flu and swine flu? – For one you get tweetment, for the other you get oinkment.

I was once caught doing it with a 16 year old in my bedroom. Boy was my wife mad. She yelled “HOW CAN YOU F… OUR DAUGHTER?!”. Haha yeah she was mad. Anyways thats why your mother and I are getting a divorce Timmy.

How many babies does it take to paint a wall?

One, if you throw it hard enough.

Why should old womon never eat sea food?

Cuz then she’ll start acting crabby.

What’s red green and smells like shit

…red and green shit

I find this website i see this person named gwen i simp fr her but just for a troll. next thing ik were some how dating? then her ex comes in and dates her again apparently he is gay. and im pretty shure gwen could be a boy but he or she has 3 friends who always back her up, just to let yall know this isnt really supposed be a dating app or drama app its a joke app and this isnt really a joke. but one last thing u guys are all biches…

R u a toaster? cuz i wanna take a bath wit u r u a knife? cuz u make me wanna kms r u a painting? cuz i hang u r u the flu? cuz u make me wanna hurl r u a newspaper? cuz u have new problems everyday r u the ground? cuz im six feet deep in u ;)

Why couldn’t the dairy farmer find his home? He lost the whey!??

What’s red and green and go’s 100 miles per hour? A frog in a blender…

I’ve always wanted to WAVE to a dolphin, but it could never SEA me. That dolphin is so WASHED up. WATER you say we get revenge?

Why are blind people so good ad being a jedi? They are always swinging a stick

Why is the sea salty? because the land never waves back

Why don’t orphans work as computer repair technicians?

Because they can’t find the motherboard

I was sitting with my little brother when he was about four-ish. He was starting to really like to identify objects for some reason, so he was showing me his toys. He grabbed his toy Mator truck and then pointed to the wheels, saying, “These are wheels.” I said, “Good job, yes they are.” Then he pointed to the bumper and said, “This is a bumper.” Again, I congratulated him. Then, he grabbed the toy’s wire with the hook at the end and said, “And this is a hooker.” I died laughing.

What is the worst part of milking a cow?

The smell of the dairy air.

L bozos fell like my grandma on the stairs