Ñàìîå ïîïóëÿðíîå 17 June

A man woke up in a hospital after a serious accident. He yelled, "Doctor! Doctor! I can’t feel my legs!" The Doctor replies, “I know, I amputated your arms.”

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Dark Humor
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I just quit my job at a can crushing factory.

It was soda-pressing.

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Job jokes

I cought my girlfriend cheating on me, with our dad.

Q:What did the elephant say to the naked man?

A:How do you breathe through that little thing?

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Family jokes
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I KNOW IT’S MARCH, BUT I THOUGHT OF THIS!!

Jingle bells, jingle bells! OH GOD, SANTA FELL! I guess it’s time for Mrs. Claus to go straight down to hell!

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Straight jokes
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Minecraft YouTube but I can sing Believer!

YouTube but I making a first video in YouTube.

And I record all the Minecraft Videos and a upload.

Ooohh! To try it and a upload. Ooohh!

I’ve been recorded to streaming, couple more sleeps to do the dreaming.

I finally get to the stronghold, and if you told me you told me you told me you told me.

Place some more ender eyes, and it’s time to big surprise.

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Dream jokes
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What’s the difference between a cranky two-year-old and a duckling? – One is a whiny toddler, and the other is a tiny waddler.

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What’s the difference?

Yo mama so poor, she buys used food.

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Poor jokes
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It was the year 1912, I was in the SS. titanic, and I woke from a dream to think, “I’ve heard of wet dreams, but is that WATER?”

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Dream jokes
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Little Jonny walks in on his parents having sex. He asks what their doing and the father says: “Well…We’re making you a brother.” So little Jonny runs off to let his parents finish, happy that he’s going to have a brother soon. The next day when little Jonny’s father comes come Jonny is crying out on the driveway. The father sits down next to Jonny and asks what’s wrong. Jonny cries: “I won’t have a baby brother!” HIs father is confused. “What do you mean?” He asks. “Because the mailman came by today and ate him!”

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Dark Humor
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Any girl can be a squirter if you hit the right artery

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Hit jokes
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I was addicted to the hokey pokey… but thankfully, I turned myself around.

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Puns jokes

A farmer walks up to his farmer neighbor with a jug of milk. the farmer says “I milked your cow”. the neighbor replies “i have a bull not a cow”

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Milk jokes
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How do we know Stephen is dying in hell

There’s a stairway to heaven.

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Hell jokes
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My doctor said “you have 1year to live”

I said " you wanna bet"

Bam a gun shot

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Doctors jokes
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The difference between dark jokes and morbid is

Dark jokes are 10 babies in 1 trash can and

Morbid jokes are 1 baby in 10 trash cans

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What’s the difference?
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My friend made this joke (so I’m going steal it) I’m surrounded by fat people, oh wait… it’s just one

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Waiting jokes

I want to die in my sleep, like grandpa did, not screaming and crying like the people on the bus he drove.

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Transport jokes
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Why did timmy drop his ice cream cone…

He got hit by a train

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Hit jokes
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Yesterday, a clown held the door open for me. It was such a nice jester!:D

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Puns jokes
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It says enter a joke, but I can’t enter my life.

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Life jokes
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Three nuns are on their way up to heaven after having been involved in a terrible minibus crash on the Italian Alps that killed them and the driver (he went the other direction!) As they’re approaching the Pearly Gates to be interview by St. Peter, they are requested by an attendant to form a single line and wait. Sister Agnes is first, Sister Bernadette behind her and Sister Carmel on the end. Finally, St. Peter approaches the nuns to determine their worthiness for entry to Heaven. He says to the first nun: “Sister Agnes, have you ever seen the penis of a man”? Sister Agnes bursts into tears and says: Yes, St. Peter, I have, but please don’t let this prevent me from entering the Kingdom of Heaven". St. Peter says: “Never fear, my child. Say a thousand Hail Marys and then go over to that font of Holy Water and wash your eyes out, then you shall enter the Kingdom of Heaven”. Sister Carmel sees what’s going on and taps Sister Bernadette on the shoulder, somewhat urgently. “Pssst — hey Bernie”! , she says. Sister Bernadette asks: “What is it?” A little annoyed. Sister Carmel says: “Do you mind if we swap places”? Sister Bernadette replies: “What for”? Sister Carmel says: “Well, I wouldn’t mind gargling before you stick your ass in there”!

What’s better then sex with your 12 year old sister?

Rolling her over and pretending it’s your 10 year old brother

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Family jokes
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