Ñàìîå ïîïóëÿðíîå 30 May

What’s a aliens favorite computer key?

The space bar!

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Computer jokes
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I will never forget my Grandpa’s last words, “What are you doing with that rope and saw”

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Dark Humor

I pushed an orphan in a wheelchair into a fire and yelled hot wheels

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Fire jokes
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Did you hear about Alicia’s car accident? She was really drunk and all over the road Until she was all over the road.

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Drunk jokes
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What’s the difference between Bird flu and swine flu? – For one you get tweetment, for the other you get oinkment.

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Doctors jokes
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Why did the kid drop his ice cream cone

He got ran over by a bus

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Transport jokes

Whats the difference between a hippie chick and a hockey player? – The hockey player showers after 3 periods.

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What’s the difference?
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What did the beach say as the tide came in?

Long time, no sea.

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Sea jokes
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My friend got mad when he caught me smelling his sister’s panties. I don’t know why he was mad, maybe because she was wearimg them, or because his whole family was watching. Either way it made the funeral a bit awkward.

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Family jokes
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What do you call terrible milk?

Udder Bullshit

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Milk jokes
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“Hold my beer, watch this.”

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Dark Humor

Someone stole my toilet and the police have nothing to go on.

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Puns jokes
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A man walks into a library and says to the librarian, “Do you have that book for men with small penises?”

The librarian looks on her computer and says, “I don’t know if it’s in yet.”

“Yeah, that’s the one!”

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Computer jokes
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Why do people think about handsome boys at night? Because their dreamy!

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Dream jokes
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Why are priests called father? because its too suspicious to call them daddy.

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Priest jokes
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I got the newest Call of Duty game! I got a 200 kill streak, then I went home and played COD.

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Game jokes

I entered 10 puns in a pun contest, hoping one would win, but no pun in ten did.

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Hope jokes
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I was in an audition for the lead role of movie ‘Aquaman’. The Director told me to dive into a pool. Then outta nowhere Penaldo showed up and made a big dive into the pool. The director was impressed and selected Penaldo for the movie. Shame on you penaldo for destroying my dream

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Dream jokes
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What is red, green, lies in a ditch and is covered in cookie crumbs?

…a girl scout that got hit by a car

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Green jokes
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My brother couldn’t wait for fall, so I tripped him.

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Waiting jokes
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What’s the difference between parents and depression? at least one of them leave you

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What’s the difference?
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