Самое популярное 18 January

Yo mamas so fat that she doesn’t need internet cause she is already world wide

What do you call a freight train with bubble gum?

A chew chew train!

I was hit on by president kennedy, too bad i shot him down

I was sitting with my little brother when he was about four-ish. He was starting to really like to identify objects for some reason, so he was showing me his toys. He grabbed his toy Mator truck and then pointed to the wheels, saying, “These are wheels.” I said, “Good job, yes they are.” Then he pointed to the bumper and said, “This is a bumper.” Again, I congratulated him. Then, he grabbed the toy’s wire with the hook at the end and said, “And this is a hooker.” I died laughing.

Yo dad’s so stupid he came back after he got the milk.

Daughter: Dad, what’s your opinion on abortions?

Dad: Ask your sister

Daughter: But I don’t have a sister

Dad: Exactly

I couldn’t quite remember how to throw a boomerang, but eventually it came back to me.

A farmer walks up to his farmer neighbor with a jug of milk. the farmer says “I milked your cow”. the neighbor replies “i have a bull not a cow”

I once ate a watch. It was time consuming.

What did the drummer call his 2 twin daughters?

Anna 1 Anna 2

What do you call a crazy computer? Wired.

Why can’t blind people have a sea food diet?

They have to see the food to eat

My Daughter is Super Smart! She pours her own drinks on the floor

The person who made it a law to not hurt girls is stupid because we’ve all kicked a pregnant woman before we where even born.

The doctor says to the woman there was good and bad news. the woman says she wants the bad news first the doctor says the bad news is the baby had red hair. then he said the good news is it is dead.

Woman: Doctor, where are we going? Doctor: To the morgue. Woman: I’m not dead yet, doctor. Doctor: We’re not at morgue yet, either

Any girl can be a squirter if you hit the right artery

Whats the difference between a baby and an onoin? The baby cries when I cut it but an onion makes me cry when I cut it.

Why did the man get fired from work cause he took 2 days off in febuary

A Muslim is about to commit suicide when a Catholic priest stops him “What are you doing?!” Exclaims the priest

“There is nothing on this Earth for me.” The Muslim says “I will commit suicide to go to paradise and get 72 virgins!”

The priest shakes his head

“Foolish Muslim, suicide is not the way! ” He says

“Follow me, Ill take you to the local primary school.”

I have an exam next week so I called my ex and asked if she had any cheating tips

A father of five puts on gas mask and a hazard suit, and walks outside, but before he could make it, his son came and asked “Dad, what are you wearing?”. The father would answer with “A costume for Halloween.”. the child asked “can i join?”. He said no, for he said it’s their last Halloween. *after that, I saw green smoke all over the same house they lived in.