Самое популярное 9 May

A fat man meets a skinny man The fat man tells the skinny man: “when people look at you, they think the world’s starving to death”

And the skinny man responds: “when they look at you, they know why”

Father and mother are making love in the bedroom. Mother is on top of father. Suddenly the son enters the bedroom. Everyone is embarrassed, of course.

The next morning, the mother takes the little boy aside and says, “I’ll tell you about what you saw yesterday, you know Dad has a big belly and that’s why mom sometimes sits on top of that belly to push it flat.”. Says that little boy: “But mama, that does not make any difference.” “Oh no?” the mom asks. “No,” says the little boy, “When you go to work, the neighbor comes, and she puts herself on her knees for Dad, and sheblows his belly up again!”

Confucius say, man who runs behind car will get exhausted, but man who runs in front of car will get tired.

A woman walks onto the Bus with his child. The driver says, "That’s the ugliest child I have seen!" The woman sits down and tells her neighbor. The neighbor replies, “Go say something back. Here, I’ll hold your monkey for you!”

I go into get a prostate exam, I’m nervous but the doctor says its all natural and needs to be done.

So he pulls down my pants and sticks one finger up my ass. I feel it go deeper inside, feeling for abnormalities.

That’s when I realize his hands are on my shoulders.

Brother: I bought my brother a trampoline today, the ungrateful f@ck just sat in his wheelchair and cried

If your depressed and you crying like this joke

I’ve sadly received a rejection letter from NASA. Strangely, it says there’s no space on their training programme.

What do turtles and lesbians have in common they both choke on plastic

What do priest and doctors have in common?

They both do physicals on kids.

Best way to stop a fight between deaf people? Just turn off the Lights

/en/doctor

So a guy walks into a bar and asks for a drink, the bartender says “I’ll give you a drink if you can tell me a meta joke” so the guy says “alreight so a guy walks into a bar and asks for a drink” the bartender says “I’ll give you a drink if you can tell me a meta joke” so the guy says “ so a guy walks into a bar and asks for a drink” the bartender says”I’ll give you a drink if you can tell me a meta joke” so the guy says” so a guy walks into a bar and asks for a drink” the bartender says” ok here you go” so he gives the guy a drink, so he gives the guy a drink, so he gives the guy a drink

My doctor told me that I had to burn calories, so I took a fat kid and lit them on fire

What did the doctor say to the chinese patient? Sum ting wong

This boy was in school one day when he became desparate to go to the bathroom. So he asked the teacher, “May I use the bathroom?”

The teacher replied, “No, not unless you say your alphabet.”

So the boy said “a b c d e f g h i j k l m n o q r s t u v w x y z.”

When he finished, the teacher asked him, “Where’s the p?”

The boy replied, “Half way down my leg…”

I hear skeletons like to play the saxaBONE, though i think the tromBONE would be better, but tibia honest, both can be HUMERUS, wouldnt wanna hurt your funny bone, but i think your starting to get BONELY so ill stop pulling your leg. Now get out before i give you a bad time.

Where was stephen hawkings during the house fire… the top of the stairs

Why do people think about handsome boys at night? Because their dreamy!

When do you go on red and stop at green A watermelon

Why is the sea salty? because the land never waves back

What talks high pitched and can’t fly?

A gay man in Iran

What’s the difference between a battery and my wife? The battery has a positive side