Ñàìîå ïîïóëÿðíîå 2 May

What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn’t matter, he won’t come anyway.

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Dark Humor
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Fire jokes


Three nuns are on their way up to heaven after having been involved in a terrible minibus crash on the Italian Alps that killed them and the driver (he went the other direction!) As they’re approaching the Pearly Gates to be interview by St. Peter, they are requested by an attendant to form a single line and wait. Sister Agnes is first, Sister Bernadette behind her and Sister Carmel on the end. Finally, St. Peter approaches the nuns to determine their worthiness for entry to Heaven. He says to the first nun: “Sister Agnes, have you ever seen the penis of a man”? Sister Agnes bursts into tears and says: Yes, St. Peter, I have, but please don’t let this prevent me from entering the Kingdom of Heaven". St. Peter says: “Never fear, my child. Say a thousand Hail Marys and then go over to that font of Holy Water and wash your eyes out, then you shall enter the Kingdom of Heaven”. Sister Carmel sees what’s going on and taps Sister Bernadette on the shoulder, somewhat urgently. “Pssst — hey Bernie”! , she says. Sister Bernadette asks: “What is it?” A little annoyed. Sister Carmel says: “Do you mind if we swap places”? Sister Bernadette replies: “What for”? Sister Carmel says: “Well, I wouldn’t mind gargling before you stick your ass in there”!

What’s better then sex with your 12 year old sister?

Rolling her over and pretending it’s your 10 year old brother

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Family jokes
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Why did the kid drop his ice cream cone?

Because he got hit by a bus!

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Transport jokes
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Computer jokes
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Life jokes


A salesman rings the door bell and Little Johnny answers. Salesman: “Can I see your dad?” Johnny: “No, he’s in the shower.” Salesman: “What about your mother? Can I see her?” Johnny: “Nope. She’s in the shower, too.” Salesman: “Do you think they’ll be out soon?” Johnny: “Doubt it. When my dad asked me for the Vaseline, I gave him super glue instead.”

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Little Johnny
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Transport jokes
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Dark Humor
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Doctors jokes
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The other day my friend messaged by saying “bro I have two pieces of bad news for you.” I told him to combine them. He replied with “your girlfriend is cheating on both of us.”

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Woman jokes


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Puns jokes
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In the hospital paralyzed kid: I’m out walks out the room blind kid: you can walk?! mute kid: you can see?! deaf kid: you can talk?! doctor: wut the f(beep)k

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Doctors jokes
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I’m not saying I hate you. But if you got hit by a bus I’d be driving that bus.

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Hit jokes
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Job jokes
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Teacher: what’s your favorite animal

Me: Desert Eagle

Teacher:why?

Me:cause it fits in my backpack

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Teacher jokes


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Ex jokes
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A depressed kid was stuck on a tree, and a man saw the kid

Man: Hang in there! Im gonna get some help!

Two minutes later, the kid literally did what the guy said

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Dark Humor
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Stick jokes
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My favorite bartender serves drinks so strong, he gives a “get well soon” card with each one of them!

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Bar jokes
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A lady walked into a bar and ordered their special drink, the bartender then gave her a brown glass full of milk, the lady complained about this but then the bartender said, “just shut up and swallow”

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Milk jokes
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