Самое популярное 1 February

When your mom tries to hit you with the belt but misses and hits herself… #victoryroyale

I started crying when my mom was cutting up onions

Onions was a good dog

If I place a slide on the edge of a cliff or a really high building, would going down it be considered suislide?

Asking for a friend.

How did the Hillbilly mother find out her daughter entered puberty? Her sons dick tasted funny.

What does a priest hold on to when having sex. He holds on to the schoolbag.

What do you call a train that stalls?

The little engine that couldn’t!

Me and my friend got in to a fight I look straight forward and said look me in my eyes

They should add an eleventh commandment to the Bible:

Thou shalt not f… altar boys

What’s a orphan favourite game?

GTA because there actually wanted?

Lol

If a person in a wheel chair runs you over, can you call it a Hit and Can?t Run

What do you call it when a midget waves at you? A microwave

What’s the difference between Stephen Hawking and the computer he’s hooked up to? – The computer runs.

Jim walks into a bar and asks for a shot of vodka. He then says to the barkeep, “Who’s the toughest guy in here?” The barkeep points to a man at the pool table. Jim then knocked him out and paid for the shot and left. He did this every Friday for 2 months. Finally, the barkeep is pissed because Jim keeps knocking out all of his customers. He then orders a gorilla and puts him in the bathroom. Jim walks into the bar and gets another shot of vodka. He asks again, “Who’s the toughest guy in here tonight?” The bartender points to the bathroom and says he’s in there. Jim walks into the bathroom and everyone in the bar can hear yelling and screaming. The bartender asks, “What happened in there?” Jim smiles and says, “I don’t know who that was, but when he wakes up tell him I put his fur jacket int the toilet.”

I remember my moms last words before her divorce, did you just load in me.

A woman walks onto the Bus with his child. The driver says, "That’s the ugliest child I have seen!" The woman sits down and tells her neighbor. The neighbor replies, “Go say something back. Here, I’ll hold your monkey for you!”

I told a diabetic boy to have sweet dreams, and he died the next morning

A friend of mine tried to annoy me with bird puns, but I soon realized that toucan play at that game.

How many babys does it take to paint wheels red?

It depends on your speed.

I asked my girlfriend if she was a smoke alarm she said “ is it because I warned him when hottness came” I said “ no, you don’t shut up

Parents: “OH! honey, we were just wrestling!”

Little Johnny: “OK! I’ll join you!”

A guy is at home and he’s about to go get a physical at the Doctor’s office. When he gets there, the Doctor says, “Brian, you’re going to have to stop masturbating. ” He asked the Doc why? The Doc said, “So I can examine you!”