Ñàìîå ïîïóëÿðíîå 6 May

What’s the difference between Steven Hawking and the Statue of Liberty, the statue stands for something

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What’s the difference?
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I tried to high five a tree it left me hanging

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High jokes
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How many babies do you need to paint a wall?

Depends on how hard you throw them.

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Paint jokes

Me: Mom I’m tired

Mom:then go to sleep

Me: No you don’t understand-

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Dark Humor
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Son: Dad am I adopted? Father: What? No! Out of all the kids in the adoption center do you really think I would pick u?

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Family jokes
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What’s Thanos’ favorite game? Half-life

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Life jokes
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I entered 10 puns in a pun contest, hoping one would win, but no pun in ten did.

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Hope jokes

So i saw two homeless people on the road fight i said stop fighting and go home i gess it was a little insensitive

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Fight jokes
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What’s the difference between a priest and acne? At least acne waits til the boy is 12 to come on his face.

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Waiting jokes
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Why should old womon never eat sea food?

Cuz then she’ll start acting crabby.

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Sea jokes
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A man got in a bad car accident. He was at risk of losing his arm. The doctors had to perform complicated surgery on his arm. The man’s wife visited after the surgery. The doctor came up to her and said: "I have good news and bad news." The wife said: "What’s the good news? “We managed to save his arm. ” “What’s the bad news?” “We couldn’t save the rest of him.”

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Doctors jokes
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All you need is a Razor Blade in life.

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Life jokes

I’m not saying I hate you. But if you got hit by a bus I’d be driving that bus.

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Hit jokes
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Johnny is very attached to his parents, he asks to take a shower with her when she gets in. He looks down and asks "whats that?"The mother replies "that’s my garage" he looks up and asks what are those? The mother responds “those are my headlights.” He then goes and takes a shower with his dad. He looks down “daddy whats that?” The dad replies “that’s my car.” He goes to sleep that night and wakes up because of a bad dream. He goes and tell his mother and she says “you can lay with me.” He falls fast asleep then wakes up once more because of falling off the bed he gets back up and gets under the covers. Then he feels the bed moving he looks under the covers to investigate and see’s them going at it he then yells “mommy turn on you’re headlights daddy’s parking his car in you’re garage!” THUD

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Family jokes
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Why do priests appreciate educated children? They don’t spit.

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Priest jokes
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Why is sex like math? You add a bed, subtract the clothes, divide the legs, and pray there’s no multiplying.

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Dark Humor
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I never knew how to use a boomerang, until it hit me

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Hit jokes

I am still trying to figure out why paying the covid doctors a complement is so offensive. They even kicked me out and all I said was to stay positive…

An apple a day can do so much more than keep the doctor away… it can keep ANYONE away.

If you throw it hard enough.

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Doctors jokes
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What do u get when u cross a stick and a dog a run away joke…

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Stick jokes
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How do asians name there kids?

They throw pots and pans down the stairs. (ching chong dong)

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Stairs jokes
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A guy walks into a bar and tells the bartender “give me 2 beers”. The bartender gives him two beers and coughs in the guys beers bottles before giving it to him. The guy says to the bartender “hey what are u doing I didn’t order for bud lights I want corona beer”. The bartender replies “ sir I gave you a mix of bud light and corona and it’s on the house everyone is drinking corona tonight”.

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Bar jokes
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What happens to a cannibal who shows up late for dinner? He gets the cold shoulder.

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Frozen
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