Ñàìîå ïîïóëÿðíîå 5 December

How many babies does it take to paint a wall?

One, if you throw it hard enough.

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Paint jokes
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I was crying at school telling my friends my grandpa died, And they asked me what his last words were. His last words were “Are you still holding the ladder?”

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Dark Humor

Your forehead is so big that you dream in 4K.

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Dream jokes
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Why doesn’t barbie ever get pregnant? Because Ken comes in a different box!!!

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What’s the difference?
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So what if I can’t spell Armageddon? It’s not the end of the world

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Puns jokes
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What do Chinese parents hate the most?

A new born daughter…

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Family jokes

Only one of Kenny’s girlfriends has ever said he’s good in bed. But she has to. She’s his mom.

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Woman jokes
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When I saw a girl sitting on the ground crying

When I asked her where her parents were, she cried louder

That’s why I like to volunteer in an orphanage

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Dark Humor
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Why can’t blind people have a sea food diet?

They have to see the food to eat

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Sea jokes
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I went for a job interview today and the manager said, “We’re looking for someone who is responsible.”

“Well, I’m your man.” I replied, “In my last job, whenever anything went wrong, they said I was responsible.”

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Puns jokes
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A farmer walks up to his farmer neighbor with a jug of milk. the farmer says “I milked your cow”. the neighbor replies “i have a bull not a cow”

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Milk jokes

The doctor told me I had aids I said it’s your fault sister.

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Family jokes
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What is different about priests and acne.

Acne waits until your 13 to cum on your face

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Waiting jokes
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What do you call a magician who has lost their magic?

Ian.

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Lost jokes
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[god creating sharks] god: ok give them 3 rows of teeth. Angel: seems excessive but ok. God: and make them mean as hell. Angel: wtf y. God: BECAUSSE I SAID SO. Angel:… god: and make one of the types have a hammer for a head angel: why do I still work for you? God: because I’m the only employer as of right now.

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Hell jokes
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Are you sad then don’t be sad because sad backwards is das and das no good.

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Dark Humor

We were so poor that every time I passed by a butcher shop I thought there had been a horrible accident.

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Poor jokes
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Why don’t midgets fight? They walk away to be the bigger man

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Fight jokes
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What goes up and down but stays in the same place? Stairs.

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Stairs jokes
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A salesman rings the door bell and Little Johnny answers. Salesman: “Can I see your dad?” Johnny: “No, he’s in the shower.” Salesman: “What about your mother? Can I see her?” Johnny: “Nope. She’s in the shower, too.” Salesman: “Do you think they’ll be out soon?” Johnny: “Doubt it. When my dad asked me for the Vaseline, I gave him super glue instead.”

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Little Johnny
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Do one day i was sitting on my couch watching youtube when i heard a knock on the door. i opened the door and to my surprise it was my dad. i haven’t seen him in 16 years, so i let him in. i noticed he had a gallon of milk in his hand and he went to the kitchen and put the milk in the fridge. then he walked towards me and said “Oh no! i forgot the cereal! ” then he walked out the door and drove away. i never saw him again

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Milk jokes
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