Ñàìîå ïîïóëÿðíîå 27 May
I will always remember my grandpa’s last words: Stop shaking the ladder you cunt!
| Dark Humor |
What do you do when your dish washer stops working
Hit your wife harder
| Hit jokes |
Whats the difference between a gay guy and a freezer?
The freezer doesn’t fart when you pull the meat out
| What’s the difference? |
What do you call an alligator with a vest?
An investigator.
| Puns jokes |
Why can’t a steam locomotive sit down?
Because it has a tender behind.
| Transport jokes |
I will never forget my grandfathers last words. “The f@ck you doing whit that knife
| Dark Humor |
Where did the software developer go?! I don’t know, he ransomware!
| Computer jokes |
What do polish people in??? Poland use chop sticks for? tweezers
| Stick jokes |
A GUY GOES TO SEE HIS PSYCHIATRIST DRESSED ONLY IN BUBBLE WRAP. WHEN HE GETS THERE HE ASKED THE PSYCH, cAN YOU PLEASE HELP ME? THE PSYCH SAYS NO, I’M SORRY, I CAN CLEARLY SEE YOUR NUTS.
A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. “But why?” they asked, as they moved off. “Because”, he said, “I can’t stand chess-nuts boasting in an open foyer.”
| Nut jokes |
| Family jokes |
At the kelp wanted station
| Job jokes |
I’m the champion of this site I fight with the ten rings and ten fists of the legendary buddah.
Now for my joke… Why does Peter pan always fly? Because he neverlands…
| Puns jokes |
Even people who are good for nothing have the capacity to bring a smile to your face, for instance when you push them down the stairs.
| Stairs jokes |
What would be a good job for a fat person? A four-chin teller!!
| Job jokes |
Ten Catholic priests all die in a bus accident. When they arrive at the pearly gates, St. Peter acknowledges them. He sees that they’re all priests and immediately says "If any of you are pedophiles, there’s no point waiting here. You might as well eff off straight to hell right now!” Nine of the priests turn around and begin to walk away. St. Peter calls after them, "AND TAKE THE DEAF BASTARD WITH YOU TOO!”
| Waiting jokes |
You are so fat that the waiter said to you everytime: ‘sorry for your weight’ instead of ‘sorry for the wait’
| Waiting jokes |
Man: I know how to please a woman. Woman: Then please leave me alone, you ugly two-faced hypocrite.
Man: I want to give myself to you. Woman: Sorry, I don’t like ugly peasants.
Man: Your hair colour is fabulous. Woman: I hate your hair colour, though.
Man: You look like a dream. Woman: Then open your ugly eyes and stop sleeping, hypocrite!
Man: I can tell that you want me. Woman: Yes, I want you dead.
R.I.P
Man: Hey, baby, what’s your sign? Woman: F*** you, pedophile!
Man: Your body is like a temple. Woman: Sorry, there are no services for pedophiles.
Man: Is this seat empty? Woman: Yes, and this one will be too if you sit down, you little peasant.
Man: What’s it like being the most beautiful girl in the bar? Every other woman I see looks ugly. Bleuch! Woman: How dare you!
Man: Haven’t I seen you someplace before? Woman: Yeah, that’s why I don’t go there anymore. I saw you playing with boxes in the store room and saying “I AM KING OF THE WORLD!”
| Dream jokes |
| Smoking jokes |
I got my daughter a fridge for her birthday. I can’t wait to see her face light up when she opens it.
| Waiting jokes |
A little girl beinng Girl: “Forgive me Father for I have sinned”
Priest: “What did you do Child?”
Girl: “I called a man a son of a bitch.”
Priest: “Why did you call him a son of a bitch?”
Girl: “Because he touched my hand.”
Priest: “Like this?” (as he touches her hand)
Girl: “Yes father.”
Priest: “That’s no reason to call a man a son of a bitch.”
Girl: “Then he touched my breast.”
Priest: “Like this?” (as he touched her breast)
Girl: “Yes father.”
Priest: “That’s no reason to call him a son of a bitch.”
Girl: “Then he took off my clothes, father.”
Priest: “Like this?” (as he takes off her clothes)
Girl: “Yes father.”
Priest: “That’s no reason to call him a son of a bitch.”
Girl: “Then he stuck his you know what into my you know where.”
Priest: “Like this?” (as he stuck his you know what into her you know where)
Girl: “YES FATHER, YES FATHER, YES FATHER!!!”
Priest: (after a few minutes): “That’s no reason to call him a son of a bitch. ”
Girl: “But father he had AIDS!”
Priest: “THAT SON OF A BITCH!!!”
| Priest jokes |
| Sea jokes |
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