Ñàìîå ïîïóëÿðíîå 3 September
What’s the difference between a prostitute and a daredevil?
One has cunning stunts, whilst the other has a stunning…
| What’s the difference? |
A lot of things have changed since I got my girlfriend pregnant.
My name, my address and my phone number.
| Woman jokes |
Once there were three Indians. Two were smart and one was… not so smart. One day, the first smart Indian went out hunting. He came back with a dead deer. The not so smart Indian asks “How’d you do it?” The smart one replies, "I followed the deer tracks, shot the deer, and brought it home." The next day, the next smart Indian goes out. He comes back with a dead bear. The not so smart Indian asks once again “How’d you do it?” The smart one replies, "I followed the bear tracks, shot the bear, and brought it home." Finally, it’s now the not so smart Indian’s turn to go hunt. Multiple hours had passed since he left. The smart Indians go out to search for him. They finally find him, bloodied and on the verge of dying. The smart Indians exclaimed "WHAT HAPPENED!" The not so smart Indian replies, “Well I… I followed the train tracks, an… and shot th- the train… bu- but it kept going…”
| Transport jokes |
What do you call a green camel.
My parents left me.
| Green jokes |
So what if I can’t spell Armageddon? It’s not the end of the world
| Puns jokes |
Gf: Most of time.
Bf: Well it’s either yes or no.
Gf: …
Bf: Well when is it that you don’t love me?
Gf: 2:30 to 4:00. Every time when you to the river an hour than it takes me a half hour to love you again.
Bf: Why?
Gf: Cuz you always see that OTHER GIRL.
Bf: MY LOVE! That other girl is my sister!!!
Gf: Ohh…
| Family jokes |
| Dark Humor |
What did the doctor say to the chinese patient? Sum ting wong
| Doctors jokes |
Whats the hardest part when making skimmed milk? throwing the cow across the lake
| Milk jokes |
Flag of Congo — Kinshasa @osowxvyy I was in Portugal enjoying my lunch when I saw a man choking! i wanted to save him but a local stopped me. “that’s Penandes, he always chokes when it matters most and ghosts in big games.” True enough, Penandes’ Ghost emerged from his body! Poor Penandes, may he get well soon!
| Poor jokes |
You’re so short, when you were born, the doctor couldn’t tell if you were a boy, a girl, or a Jimmy Dean pork sausage.
| Doctors jokes |
Why did the little boy drop his ice cream?
Because he was hit by a bus.
| Transport jokes |
Why do we tell actors to “break a leg”?
Because every scene has a cast!
| Dark Humor |
I wont ever Forget my dads last words: “OH GOD THE POLICE!!!”
| Family jokes |
Friend: Want to play fall guys?
Friend 2: Yup
Friend: Ok so let me ju- wait where are you going?
Friend 2: I’m gonna jump off
| Waiting jokes |
Whats the difference between a bear with a gun and an American Man with a gun?
The bear has common sense not to fire it
| Fire jokes |
What’s the difference between England and a tea bag? – The tea bag stays longer in a cup.
| What’s the difference? |
2 boys came home for dinner late and their mother asked, “where have you boys been?” 1 of them replied with, “we were all over the neighborhood, we’re mail men now.” Their snobby teen sister said, “well your not real mail men, real mail men use real letters.” Then 1 of the boys said, “actually we used real letters, we found a whole box of them under your bed.”
| Family jokes |
A man woke up from a serious surgery. He screamed, “Doctor! Doctor! I can’t feel my legs!”. And the doctor replied, “I know. I amputated you arms.”
| Doctors jokes |
How did the inkjet printer kill himself?
He drank cyan-ide.
| Computer jokes |
| Poor jokes |
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