Самое популярное 17 August

When I was a child, my parents told me my uncle was ‘sleeping with the fishes’. At first, I thought he bought a water bed, but I then discovered he was killed and buried at sea.

What do u call a train that carries bubblegum? Chew-chew train! heeheee

I was addicted to the hokey pokey… but thankfully, I turned myself around.

I just got a job at the prison library. It has its prose and cons.

It was the year 1912, I was in the SS. titanic, and I woke from a dream to think, “I’ve heard of wet dreams, but is that WATER?”

What is the differences an orphan and pikachu? Pikachu I chose you!

Mother: Who do you like more, me or your dad. Liam: I like you both. Mother: Ok, if I go to america and your dad goes to paris, where will you go Liam: I will go to paris. Mother: That’s means you like dad more Liam: No, its because i like paris Mother: Ok, fine, if I go to paris and your dad goes to america, where will you go. Liam: I will go to America. Mother: Why Liam: Because I have already gone to paris.

Gays are always welcome on my redneck Party Bus. NOT!

Hey, I’m not an alcoholic! I only drink 2 times a year. When it’s my Birthday, and when it’s not…

A kid has an older brother that’s a very popular lifeguard. He sees all of the people that talk to his brother but he’s fairly ignored. So one day he asks his brother why everyone likes him so much. His older brother says “well all you gotta do is stick a potato in your pocket”. So the next day the boy goes back to the pool and he has a potato in his pocket, but everyone is avoiding him even more now. At the end of the day he goes up to his brother and asks why it didn’t work, and his brother says “dumbass, you were supposed to put it in the front!”

What were Princess Dianas last words? Have you been Dri…

Why did the cloud apply to stormtrooper training school?

He mist.

You’re so short, when you were born, the doctor couldn’t tell if you were a boy, a girl, or a Jimmy Dean pork sausage.

Q: what’s stronger than family?

A: whatever tree Paul walker hit

I went for a job interview today and the manager said, “We’re looking for someone who is responsible.”

“Well, I’m your man.” I replied, “In my last job, whenever anything went wrong, they said I was responsible.”

My friend was in a wheel chair so i rolled him in fire now i call him hot wheels

Why did the orphan wait in line? To see their parents next

A woman walks into a doctor’s office. She schedules an appointment and sits down it the waiting room. Whem it’s her turn to talk to the doctor, she describes all of her symptoms, and they’re unlike anything he’s heard before. The doctor runs a few tests and steps out of the room. He comes back later, and says, ‘Well I have good news and bad news.’ The woman says, ‘I’ll hear the good news first please. ’ The doctor replies ‘The good news is we’re naming a disease after you!’

Jim walks into a bar and asks for a shot of vodka. He then says to the barkeep, “Who’s the toughest guy in here?” The barkeep points to a man at the pool table. Jim then knocked him out and paid for the shot and left. He did this every Friday for 2 months. Finally, the barkeep is pissed because Jim keeps knocking out all of his customers. He then orders a gorilla and puts him in the bathroom. Jim walks into the bar and gets another shot of vodka. He asks again, “Who’s the toughest guy in here tonight?” The bartender points to the bathroom and says he’s in there. Jim walks into the bathroom and everyone in the bar can hear yelling and screaming. The bartender asks, “What happened in there?” Jim smiles and says, “I don’t know who that was, but when he wakes up tell him I put his fur jacket int the toilet.”

Roses are red my heart my heart is dead I have a gun straight to my head

What the difference between being gay and straight, well it is the hole

What game did Al-Qaeda Play With The Twin Towers On September 11th 2001? Jenga.