Ñàìîå ïîïóëÿðíîå 21 June

Man: I know how to please a woman. Woman: Then please leave me alone, you ugly two-faced hypocrite.

Man: I want to give myself to you. Woman: Sorry, I don’t like ugly peasants.

Man: Your hair colour is fabulous. Woman: I hate your hair colour, though.

Man: You look like a dream. Woman: Then open your ugly eyes and stop sleeping, hypocrite!

Man: I can tell that you want me. Woman: Yes, I want you dead.

R.I.P

Man: Hey, baby, what’s your sign? Woman: F*** you, pedophile!

Man: Your body is like a temple. Woman: Sorry, there are no services for pedophiles.

Man: Is this seat empty? Woman: Yes, and this one will be too if you sit down, you little peasant.

Man: What’s it like being the most beautiful girl in the bar? Every other woman I see looks ugly. Bleuch! Woman: How dare you!

Man: Haven’t I seen you someplace before? Woman: Yeah, that’s why I don’t go there anymore. I saw you playing with boxes in the store room and saying “I AM KING OF THE WORLD!”

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Dream jokes

[god creating sharks] god: ok give them 3 rows of teeth. Angel: seems excessive but ok. God: and make them mean as hell. Angel: wtf y. God: BECAUSSE I SAID SO. Angel:… god: and make one of the types have a hammer for a head angel: why do I still work for you? God: because I’m the only employer as of right now.

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Hell jokes
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What’s the difference between Micheal Jackson and a plastic bag

One’s made of plastic and dangerous for kids to play with, and the other carries groceries

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What’s the difference?
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I just quit my job at a can crushing factory.

It was soda-pressing.

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Job jokes
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What does a priest hold on to when having sex. He holds on to the schoolbag.

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Priest jokes

Did you fall from heaven? or did you fall from the cliff up there?

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Dark Humor
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Me:Have you seen a mr.weewoo Most people:no Me: he drives the ambulance down stairs

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Stairs jokes
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A lady walked into a bar and ordered their special drink, the bartender then gave her a brown glass full of milk, the lady complained about this but then the bartender said, “just shut up and swallow”

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Milk jokes
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Yo mama feet is so fat she had to wear a sock on each toe

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Fat jokes
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What do depressed people and Apple’s have in common?

They both hang from trees

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Dark Humor

Why did the man get fired from work cause he took 2 days off in febuary

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Fire jokes
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Asian man goes to the eye doctor. Doctor says, “It looks like you have a cataract.” Asian guy says, “No Doc, I drive a Rincoln.”

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Doctors jokes
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What is a tornado favorite game?

Twister!

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Game jokes
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“Sanderson, fire a warning shot.”

“Uhh sir, this is an M32 rotary grenade launcher.”

“Ah potato-potato, just pull the trigger.”

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Fire jokes
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What Do You Say To A One Legged Hitch Hiker

Hop In

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Dark Humor

Yo dad’s so stupid he came back after he got the milk.

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Milk jokes
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Did you hear the score in the Eqypt vs Ethiopia football game? Eqypt 8, Ethiopia didn’t

What animal do you always find at a baseball game? A bat

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Game jokes
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Your mamma so fat she has to use the equator as her belt

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Fat jokes
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You’re so short, when you were born, the doctor couldn’t tell if you were a boy, a girl, or a Jimmy Dean pork sausage.

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Doctors jokes
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A surgeon loses his job as he botched a surgery

Boss: “we have to let you go.”

Surgeon: “I protest innocence.”

Boss: “how?”

Surgeon: “I thought to do your job and saving people’s lives were two different things. ”

Boss: “get out”

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Job jokes
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