Transport jokes

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

timmy has 5 apples, his train is 7 minutes early calculate the mass of the sun

-2 -1 0 +1 +2


-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *
-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *
-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

whats the difference between al qaeda and ms frizzle? One flew a plane into the twin towers one flew a bus into the school

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *
-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *
-2 -1 0 +1 +2


Little Johnny was playing with his train and said all you motherfckers who want to get off get off and all you motherfckers who want to get on get on his mother here’s him and said is that you cussing. The mother said go to your room for 1 hour little Johnny goes to his room then little johnny comes back one hour later and said all you motherfckers who wanna get off get off and all you motherfckers who wanna get on get on and if you wanna know about the 1 hour delay go ask the b*tch in the kitchen.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

The 1645 service has been cancelled and has been replaced by a replacement bus service. EasyJet would like to apologise to all of those who are travelling to Greece.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

A robber breaks into a house while the residents are away one dark night. Eager to see what he can loot, he quickly starts searching through cupboards and dressers, grabbing valuables with a trained eye. Suddenly, he hears a voice come out of nowhere. “Jesus is watching you.” The criminal jumps, scared the residents are back, and freezes. After a few minutes of silence however, he assumes it was his imagination, and goes back to robbing. A couple minutes pass, before once again, the voice returns. “Jesus is watching you.” Quite confused, the thief searches the house and checks the front door, but nothing pops out as unusual. He finally decides to move rooms, and finds a parrot, but ignores it. Before he can begin to do anything, someone speaks again, “Jesus is watching you.” The robber realized it was the parrot talking! Going to the parrot, he asks it, “Are you the one who’s been talking to me?” The parrot responds, “Yes.” The thief couldn’t believe it. So, he asks another question. “What is your name?” “Ismael.” the parrot replies. The man scoffed. “What type of idiot names a parrot Ismael?” The parrot speaks yet again, “The same type of idiot that names a Rottweiler Jesus.”

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

I was spending my holiday in Paris with my gf. As we were walking near the city, a meteor hit and killed my gf. Forensics did an autopsy on the corpse and concluded that someone missed a pen and hit my gf from the psg training ground. SHAME ON YOU PESSI FOR RUINING MY LIFE????

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *
-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

What is yellow and can’t swim? A school bus full of kids.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

Why did sally fall off the swing? Because she was hit by a bus.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *


© àíåêäîòîâ.net, 1997 - 2026