Transport jokes

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What’s the difference between a dirty bus station and a lobster with breast implants? One is a crusty bus station, and the other is a busty crustation

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What does the difference between your new teacher and a train? Your teacher says spit out your gum but a train says Choo Choo!

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To become a licensed, airline pilot requires 1,500 hours (two years) of training. But it only takes 10 seconds to steal the pilot’s jacket and hat.

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The other day a squirrel asked me for a job, I asked him what jobs did you have previously. Calmly he answered," I am a pilot, I can pick it up from here and pile it over there, I also can fly a sign!!!" " To bad, this is a nut cannery, and we’re 100% automated, we don’t need anyone at this time, sorry." " No worries, I’m totally nuts anyway, guess I’ll fly a sign across town, don’t have bus fare!!!"

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I was talking to a close friend that was Islamic. He said he was being shipped to an amazing training. I asked “where are you going” He said “Camp Bin Laden” I asked “what do they do there” He answered “they got bomb training and hand to hand combat training. Plus the got arts and crafts.” I asked “what do you mean by arts and crafts? ” He said “see this towel on my head” I nodded “I made it out of boxer jokes”

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A bus full of Nuns falls of a cliff and they all die. They arrive at the gates of heaven and meet St. Peter. St. Peter says to them “Sisters, welcome to Heaven. In a moment I will let you all though the pearly gates, but before I may do that, I must ask each of you a single question. ” St. Peter turns to the first Nun in the line and asks her “Sister, have you ever touched a penis?” The Sister Responds “Well… there was this one time… that I kinda sorta… touched one with the tip of my pinky finger…” St. Peter says “Alright Sister, now dip the tip of your pinky finger in the Holy Water, and you may be admitted.” and she did so. St. Peter now turns to the second nun and says “Sister, have you ever touched a penis?” “Well…. There was this one time… that I held one for a moment…” “Alright Sister, now just wash your hands in the Holy Water, and you may be admitted” and she does so. Now at this, there is a noise, a jostling in the line. It seems that one nun is trying to cut in front of another! St. Peter sees this and asks the Nun “Sister Susan, what is this? There is no rush!” Sister Susan responds “Well if I’m going to have to gargle this stuff, I’d rather do it before Sister Mary sticks her ass in it!”

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why are dolphins so smart? Because within three hours they can train a human to stand at the edge of the pool and feed them fish!

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How many orphans does it take to “test drive” a bus? It depends on how much space the orphanage has and how much space the cemmetary has.

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what do you call a train with buble gum? a chew chew train oh man im depressed

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Today; Worst day ever My annoying sibling got hit by a train and I lost my job as a conductor.

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What’s yellow and cant swim? A school bus full of screaming children.

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