Transport jokes

A bus is a vehicle that runs twice as fast when you are after it as when you are in it.

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I’ve sadly received a rejection letter from NASA. Strangely, it says there’s no space on their training programme.

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A lady from the city and her traveling companion were riding the train through Vermont when she noticed some cows. “What a cute bunch of cows!” she remarked. “Not a bunch, herd”, her friend replied. “Heard of what?” “Herd of cows.” “Of course I’ve heard of cows.” “No, a cow herd. ” “What do I care what a cow heard. I have no secrets to keep from a cow!”

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East Richmond has a train station at East Richmond but Richmond is better why

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What’s black and yellow and cant swim?

A School Bus Full Of Orphans

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Why don’t orphans like to get lost??

Because somebody’s going to ask where their parents are.

There was an American wrestler from Texas named John, who throughout his high school career had never lost a match. As he went on into college he continued undefeated. He became a national icon and symbol of American strength.

News began to circulate

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Why do school shooter have the best shots??? They train at the best schools.???

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Three guy are in the woods, a a really smart guy, an average, and a really dumb guy, they bored so the smart guy decides to go hunting a little while later he comes back with a dear, the average guy asks how do did you do that? The really smart guy says says I see dear tracks I fallow dear tracks, I see dear I shoot dear. The average guy say I think I understand and leaves, an little bit later he comes back with a raccoon. The really dumb goes gasp how did you do that!?. And the average looks at him funny and says well I see raccoon tracks I fallow raccoon tracks, I see raccoon I shoot raccoon. The super dumb guy thinks for a second and says Oooohh, ok I thiNo I can do that… and leaves. Hours pass and and the guy finally returns, hurt, bloody, and horribly mingled. They run to help him. Finally one of the guys ask him what happened this is what he said: I see train tracks, I fallow train tracks. I see train I shoot train. But train keep coming.

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I’ll never forget my father’s last words…

Oh f@ck, it’s a bus!

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You don’t usually see strap-hangers carrying newspapers these days. But one guy with the New York Times is seen getting on a crowded F Train. He notices a single seat not taken. Suspicious, he gets closer and sniffs it out. The seat is discolored but dry. Throwing caution to the winds, he removes a section from the paper and sets it down to buffer the spot from his behind. He sits down, stretches his feet and yells out: “Try sitting on your smartphones, suckers!”

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Why didn’t Sally get home from work.

She got hit by a bus

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Is it normal my emo cousins hobby is tying himself to train tracks.

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What a day yesterday was I got a promotion and my sisters killer was hit by a bus now I’m in a cast!

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Why are dolphins so smart? Because within three hours they can train a human to stand at the edge of the pool and feed them fish!

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I was sitting next to this really hot Thai girl on the bus and all I could think to myself was, “Don’t get an erection, don’t get an erection”… But she did.

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