what is yellow and cant swim? A bus full of kids.
What’s the difference between a dirty bus stop and a lobster with boobs? – One is a crusty bus station and the other is a busty crustacean.
So I was going out the door and I see me dwarf neighbour at the bus stop, I ask if he needs a lift. He replies with fu… off. So I zip up my backpack and keep going to work
Two guys where on a hunting trip and after the first day of hunting they don’t see anything so that decide the next day they will split up and meet back at, the fire at dinner time. After a day of hunting they meet back at the fire and the one hunter asked the other how did your day go? So the one hunter said “I had the best day ever,” I went down the hill and hunted by the train tracks and saw the hottest chick ever, we had sex for hours in every position you could think of. Then the other hunter asked him “was she a good lookin blond? ” And he said “ oh I don’t know I didn’t find her head”
Why did lil timmy drop his lollies (He was hit by a train
A bus is a vehicle that runs twice as fast when you are after it as when you are in it.
Charizarding When you light a girls pubes on fire, put it out with your jizz then flap your arms and say “You don’t have have enough badges to train me”
Why did the kid drop his ice cream cone He got ran over by a bus
An American, a Cuban, a Russian, and a lawyer are sitting on a subway train, in the same seat. The Cuban pulls out a Cuban cigar for each person, and hands it out. The Cuban takes one puff of his cigar, and he throws it out the window. Everybody but the Cuban goes mad. ?You just wasted an expensive Cuban cigar! How could you?? The Cuban simply says, ?See, in Cuba, cigars are very cheap.? The other passengers are reassured and respond with, ?Oh, OK.? The Russian takes out a small bottle of Russian vodka and pours a shot for all the passengers. The Russian downs his shot, and throws the vodka bottle out the window. The rest of the passengers are alarmed, once again. ?You just destroyed an expensive bottle of Russian vodka! How could you?? The Russian simply states, ?See, in Russia, vodka is very cheap.? Yet again, the other passengers are reassured and respond with, ?Ah, yes! Of course.? The American scratches his head and goes, ?I think I see the pattern here. ? So he takes the lawyer, and he throws him out the window!?
How many orphans does it take to “test drive” a bus? It depends on how much space the orphanage has and how much space the cemmetary has.
My boss yelled at me the other day, “You’ve got to be the worst train driver in history. How many trains did you derail last year? ” I said, “Can’t say for sure, it’s so hard to keep track!”
Why did Little Sally drop her ice cream? Because she got hit by a bus.
I would like to dedicate this song to a friend of mine, who was run over last week and is in hospital. The wheels on the bus go round and round!
Say what you want about Hitler at least he got the trains to run on time
There were 15 ugly guys on a bus. The bus crashed and they all went to heaven. God took pity on them and told the ugly dudes they could have one wish. The first guy said,"I want to be handsome. " God granted his wish. The second guy said,“I want to be more handsome than the first guy.”, God granted his wish. “The third guy said " I want to be more handsome than the second guy.” God granted his wish and this continued on and on until the 15 ugly guy.The ugly guy was laughing. Really hard. “What is your wish? ” God asked him. “I WANT ALL THESE GUYS UGLY AGAIN!!!” God granted his wish
RUS | ENG
