Today was a terrible day. My wife got hit by a bus, and I lost my job as a bus driver
What’s yellow and can’t swim? A bus full of children
Why did lil timmy drop his lollies (He was hit by a train
Why are Egyptian gods orphans Because Egypt needs to sell Anubis (a-new-bus) every year to make a prophet
There were three indians that got kick out of the tride. One said “me find food” and he came back with a decent size rabit. The other two asked him what happened he said "me see rabit me shoot rabit and rabit fall down dead. The 2nd indian “me find food” he came back with a good sized deer the other two asked him what happened he said"me see deer me shoot deer deer fall down dead. The third indian said “me find food” he came back crwling mising a leg and an arm and he was all cut up the others anded what happened he said "me see train me shoot trai train no stop
timmy has 5 apples, his train is 7 minutes early calculate the mass of the sun
I had an uncle who was a conductor. He wasn’t a symphony conductor, nor was he a street car conductor, nor was he a train conductor. He was struck by lightning.
What’s the difference between a dirty bus stop and a lobster with boobs? – One is a crusty bus station and the other is a busty crustacean.
Why did the kid drop his ice cream cone? Because he got hit by a bus!
An American, a Cuban, a Russian, and a lawyer are sitting on a subway train, in the same seat. The Cuban pulls out a Cuban cigar for each person, and hands it out. The Cuban takes one puff of his cigar, and he throws it out the window. Everybody but the Cuban goes mad. ?You just wasted an expensive Cuban cigar! How could you?? The Cuban simply says, ?See, in Cuba, cigars are very cheap.? The other passengers are reassured and respond with, ?Oh, OK.? The Russian takes out a small bottle of Russian vodka and pours a shot for all the passengers. The Russian downs his shot, and throws the vodka bottle out the window. The rest of the passengers are alarmed, once again. ?You just destroyed an expensive bottle of Russian vodka! How could you?? The Russian simply states, ?See, in Russia, vodka is very cheap.? Yet again, the other passengers are reassured and respond with, ?Ah, yes! Of course.? The American scratches his head and goes, ?I think I see the pattern here. ? So he takes the lawyer, and he throws him out the window!?
You don’t usually see strap-hangers carrying newspapers these days. But one guy with the New York Times is seen getting on a crowded F Train. He notices a single seat not taken. Suspicious, he gets closer and sniffs it out. The seat is discolored but dry. Throwing caution to the winds, he removes a section from the paper and sets it down to buffer the spot from his behind. He sits down, stretches his feet and yells out: “Try sitting on your smartphones, suckers!”
What’s big and yellow and can’t swim, a bus filled with children
Whats yellow and cant swim but screams when it goes under. A school bus full of kids
Why did the strawberry ?? go out with a banana? Because it could not find a date
Why was I stress eating on the train track? To wait to get hit.
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