Transport jokes

What did bus say to other bus? beeep

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A man shot into a crowd at the train station and didn’t hit one person, when the police asked why he missed, someone said cause he gay. He couldn’t shoot straight

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A man gets on a bus, and ends up sitting next to a very attractive nun. Enamored with her, he asks if he can have sex with her. Naturally, she says no, and gets off the bus. The man goes to the bus driver and asks him if he knows of a way for him to have sex with the nun. “Well,” says the bus driver, “every night at 8 o’clock, she goes to the cemetery to pray. If you dress up as God, I’m sure you could convince her to have sex with you.” The man decides to try it, and dresses up in his best God costume. At eight, he sees the nun and appears before her. “Oh, God!” she exclaims. “Take me with you!” The man tells the nun that she must first have sex with him to prove her loyalty. The nun says yes, but tells him she prefers anal sex. Before you know it, they’re getting down to it, having nasty, grunty, loud sex. After it’s over, the man pulls off his God disguise. “Ha, ha! I’m the man from the bus! ” “Ha, ha!” says the nun, removing her costume. “I’m the bus driver!”

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imagine u go to school right u hit the curve the bus driver be like ahhh how do i stop the bus students from the bus jump from the windows one of the students THAT’S a U Problem

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why’d sally drop her ice cream she was hit by a bus

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Why can’t a steam locomotive sit down? Because it has a tender behind.

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Your the type of guy to have a whole training arc after a girl wants to fight you

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I would like to dedicate this song to a friend of mine, who was run over last week and is in hospital. The wheels on the bus go round and round!

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yo mama is so fat when she sees a bus full of white people she thinks its a twinkie lmao xd

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Did you hear about the Mexican train hijacker? They say he had locomotives.

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(Bus Driver) What did you learn in school today? (Kid) We learned that you are a sussy baka. (Bus Driver) Oh yeah? Well I quit! (Kid) Quit What? (Bus Driver) Living. (Kid) But it was a joke! (Bus Driver) Doesn’t matter. I will die but you will still be alive. (Kid) Ok (Bus Driver) That was a joke too!

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What do you call a train that likes toffee? A chew-chew train

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I was spending my holiday in Paris with my gf. As we were walking near the city, a meteor hit and killed my gf. Forensics did an autopsy on the corpse and concluded that someone missed a pen and hit my gf from the psg training ground. SHAME ON YOU PESSI FOR RUINING MY LIFE????

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The 1645 service has been cancelled and has been replaced by a replacement bus service. EasyJet would like to apologise to all of those who are travelling to Greece.

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Ex Of Johnnys: I have a question. Johnny:What? Ex Of Johnnys: Am I pretty? Johnny: Yes ofc jesus mad everbody wonderfully! Ex: Awhh! Johnny: But who ever made you was painting tomas the train while making your face.

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