I’ll never forget my father’s last words… Oh f@ck, it’s a bus!
What does the difference between your new teacher and a train? Your teacher says spit out your gum but a train says Choo Choo!
My girlfriend got ran over by a bus I lost my job as a bus driver.
When they where going around giving out brains and U thought they where saying train so u said no thanx I’ll take the next one ????
Whats the difference between a school bus and my Dad’s van? Schools buses usually don’t have screaming and crying children
A bus full of Nuns falls of a cliff and they all die. They arrive at the gates of heaven and meet St. Peter. St. Peter says to them “Sisters, welcome to Heaven. In a moment I will let you all though the pearly gates, but before I may do that, I must ask each of you a single question. ” St. Peter turns to the first Nun in the line and asks her “Sister, have you ever touched a penis?” The Sister Responds “Well… there was this one time… that I kinda sorta… touched one with the tip of my pinky finger…” St. Peter says “Alright Sister, now dip the tip of your pinky finger in the Holy Water, and you may be admitted.” and she did so. St. Peter now turns to the second nun and says “Sister, have you ever touched a penis?” “Well…. There was this one time… that I held one for a moment…” “Alright Sister, now just wash your hands in the Holy Water, and you may be admitted” and she does so. Now at this, there is a noise, a jostling in the line. It seems that one nun is trying to cut in front of another! St. Peter sees this and asks the Nun “Sister Susan, what is this? There is no rush!” Sister Susan responds “Well if I’m going to have to gargle this stuff, I’d rather do it before Sister Mary sticks her ass in it!”
Did you hear about the Mexican train hijacker? They say he had locomotives.
Say what you want about Hitler at least he got the trains to run on time
What’s big and yellow and can’t swim, a bus filled with children
Little Johnny got a train set for Christmas. He takes it around the circle, parks it at the station, and says” alright, you motherf@ckers get off here, and you motherf@ckers get off here” his mom comes rushing in and says” little Johnny, we don’t use that kind of language, go to your room and think about what you did!” After a few hours, she lets him out of his room. He goes back to play with his train set. He takes it around the circle, parks it at the station, and says,” ok, you guys get off here, and you guys get off here. And if you have any complaints about the two hour delay, take it up with the bitch in be kitchen”
I was on a bus when this girl offered to blow me for $5… ?…and never being a person to pass up a good deal, I gave her $5 and watched her do her thing. After she was finished she lit up a cigarette and started smoking right there on the bus. I was disgusted. I thought to myself, “What is this world coming to? Who sells cigarettes to a 12 year old?”
Ur momma is so fat, when she chose a yellow shirt when she was on a run, the kids ran after her bc they thought they missed the bus.
Why did Billy drop his ice cream? Cause he got hit by a bus
You don’t usually see strap-hangers carrying newspapers these days. But one guy with the New York Times is seen getting on a crowded F Train. He notices a single seat not taken. Suspicious, he gets closer and sniffs it out. The seat is discolored but dry. Throwing caution to the winds, he removes a section from the paper and sets it down to buffer the spot from his behind. He sits down, stretches his feet and yells out: “Try sitting on your smartphones, suckers!”
Gays are always welcome on my redneck Party Bus. NOT!
RUS | ENG
