Why do Orphans ride the bus because they have no parents to drop them off.
%% %%A train walks into a bar. It says to the barkeeper, “I’ll have a gallon of ale.” “A gallon?” the barkeeper asks. “Yes,” replies the train, “I always end up chugging it.”
Why don’t orphans like to get lost?? Because somebody’s going to ask where their parents are. There was an American wrestler from Texas named John, who throughout his high school career had never lost a match. As he went on into college he continued undefeated. He became a national icon and symbol of American strength. News began to circulate of a Russian
What’s the different’s a girlfriend and a train the train will touch me
timmy has 5 apples, his train is 7 minutes early calculate the mass of the sun
Two boys are talking on the bus Boy 1: I feel like i’m forgetting something. Boy 2: hey did you hear about that school shooting last week? Boy 1: oh that’s right
Why did Little Sally drop her ice cream? Because she got hit by a bus.
A robber breaks into a house while the residents are away one dark night. Eager to see what he can loot, he quickly starts searching through cupboards and dressers, grabbing valuables with a trained eye. Suddenly, he hears a voice come out of nowhere. “Jesus is watching you.” The criminal jumps, scared the residents are back, and freezes. After a few minutes of silence however, he assumes it was his imagination, and goes back to robbing. A couple minutes pass, before once again, the voice returns. “Jesus is watching you.” Quite confused, the thief searches the house and checks the front door, but nothing pops out as unusual. He finally decides to move rooms, and finds a parrot, but ignores it. Before he can begin to do anything, someone speaks again, “Jesus is watching you.” The robber realized it was the parrot talking! Going to the parrot, he asks it, “Are you the one who’s been talking to me?” The parrot responds, “Yes.” The thief couldn’t believe it. So, he asks another question. “What is your name?” “Ismael.” the parrot replies. The man scoffed. “What type of idiot names a parrot Ismael?” The parrot speaks yet again, “The same type of idiot that names a Rottweiler Jesus.”
Three guy are in the woods, a a really smart guy, an average, and a really dumb guy, they bored so the smart guy decides to go hunting a little while later he comes back with a dear, the average guy asks how do did you do that? The really smart guy says says I see dear tracks I fallow dear tracks, I see dear I shoot dear. The average guy say I think I understand and leaves, an little bit later he comes back with a raccoon. The really dumb goes gasp how did you do that!?. And the average looks at him funny and says well I see raccoon tracks I fallow raccoon tracks, I see raccoon I shoot raccoon. The super dumb guy thinks for a second and says Oooohh, ok I thiNo I can do that… and leaves. Hours pass and and the guy finally returns, hurt, bloody, and horribly mingled. They run to help him. Finally one of the guys ask him what happened this is what he said: I see train tracks, I fallow train tracks. I see train I shoot train. But train keep coming.
An American, a Cuban, a Russian, and a lawyer are sitting on a subway train, in the same seat. The Cuban pulls out a Cuban cigar for each person, and hands it out. The Cuban takes one puff of his cigar, and he throws it out the window. Everybody but the Cuban goes mad. ?You just wasted an expensive Cuban cigar! How could you?? The Cuban simply says, ?See, in Cuba, cigars are very cheap.? The other passengers are reassured and respond with, ?Oh, OK.? The Russian takes out a small bottle of Russian vodka and pours a shot for all the passengers. The Russian downs his shot, and throws the vodka bottle out the window. The rest of the passengers are alarmed, once again. ?You just destroyed an expensive bottle of Russian vodka! How could you?? The Russian simply states, ?See, in Russia, vodka is very cheap.? Yet again, the other passengers are reassured and respond with, ?Ah, yes! Of course.? The American scratches his head and goes, ?I think I see the pattern here. ? So he takes the lawyer, and he throws him out the window!?
What’s the difference between an ISIS training center and a school?? I don’t know, I just fly the drone
Why was the train late? It kept getting side-tracked.
An Englishman, a Frenchman, a ravishing blonde and an old lady are sharing a compartment on a train as it winds its way through the Alps. Every now and then the train passes through a tunnel, during which time the compartment is plunged into complete darkness. On one such occasion, a ringing slap is heard and as the train passes back into daylight, the Frenchman is rubbing his sore, red cheek. The old lady thinks, “I bet that dirty Frenchman fondled the blonde and she struck the pervert.” The blonde thinks, “I bet that filthy Frenchman was looking to grope me in the dark, mistook the old lady for me and she slapped him.” The Frenchman thinks, “I bet that perfidious Englishman touched up the blonde in the dark and she slapped me by mistake.” The Englishman thinks, “I can’t wait for another tunnel so I can slap that French twat again.”
What do you call a train that stalls? The little engine that couldn’t!
How many orphans does it take to “test drive” a bus? It depends on how much space the orphanage has and how much space the cemmetary has.
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