Transport jokes

What’s black and yellow and cant swim? A School Bus Full Of Orphans

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Why did sally fall off the swing? Because she was hit by a bus.

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So I was going out the door and I see me dwarf neighbour at the bus stop, I ask if he needs a lift. He replies with fu… off. So I zip up my backpack and keep going to work

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How many orphans does it take to “test drive” a bus? It depends on how much space the orphanage has and how much space the cemmetary has.

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I was sitting next to this really hot Thai girl on the bus and all I could think to myself was, “Don’t get an erection, don’t get an erection”… But she did.

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An American, a Cuban, a Russian, and a lawyer are sitting on a subway train, in the same seat. The Cuban pulls out a Cuban cigar for each person, and hands it out. The Cuban takes one puff of his cigar, and he throws it out the window. Everybody but the Cuban goes mad. ?You just wasted an expensive Cuban cigar! How could you?? The Cuban simply says, ?See, in Cuba, cigars are very cheap.? The other passengers are reassured and respond with, ?Oh, OK.? The Russian takes out a small bottle of Russian vodka and pours a shot for all the passengers. The Russian downs his shot, and throws the vodka bottle out the window. The rest of the passengers are alarmed, once again. ?You just destroyed an expensive bottle of Russian vodka! How could you?? The Russian simply states, ?See, in Russia, vodka is very cheap.? Yet again, the other passengers are reassured and respond with, ?Ah, yes! Of course.? The American scratches his head and goes, ?I think I see the pattern here. ? So he takes the lawyer, and he throws him out the window!?

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What’s white and annoying at breakfast? An avalanche. Why did little Suzy fall off the swing? She got hit by an axe. Why did little Billy drop his ice cream? He got hit by a bus. How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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Why did the strawberry ?? go out with a banana? Because it could not find a date

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