Transport jokes

So I was going out the door and I see me dwarf neighbour at the bus stop, I ask if he needs a lift. He replies with fu… off. So I zip up my backpack and keep going to work

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Why did little billy drop his ice cream cone? Cuz he got hit by a bus while crossing the street.

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When they where going around giving out brains and U thought they where saying train so u said no thanx I’ll take the next one ????

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Why did they make bus stops? So the bus driver would know where to pick the orphan up.

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"Most Deadly Sport" Playing chicken with a Train!

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3 blonde were walking on a path, the first blonde said, “Hey look there are deer tracks!” The second blonde said, “No way those are totally duck tracks, ” The third blonde said, “Nuh uh those are” then they got hit by a train.

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Q If a electric train heads south what way does the steam go A no steam

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A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The driver says: "Ugh, that’s the ugliest baby I’ve ever seen!" The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to the man next to her: “The driver just insulted me!” The man says: “You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I’ll hold your monkey for you.”

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Why didn’t Sally get home from work. She got hit by a bus

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Whats the difference between a school bus and my Dad’s van? Schools buses usually don’t have screaming and crying children

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Knock knock? who’s there? Not sally she doesn’t have and arms Why did sally fall off the swing? She doesn’t have any arms Why did sally drop her ice cream? She got hit by a bus

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What do you call an all you can eat buffet for a Pedophile? A school bus.

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A man gets on a bus, and ends up sitting next to a very attractive nun. Enamored with her, he asks if he can have sex with her. Naturally, she says no, and gets off the bus. The man goes to the bus driver and asks him if he knows of a way for him to have sex with the nun. “Well,” says the bus driver, “every night at 8 o’clock, she goes to the cemetery to pray. If you dress up as God, I’m sure you could convince her to have sex with you.” The man decides to try it, and dresses up in his best God costume. At eight, he sees the nun and appears before her. “Oh, God!” she exclaims. “Take me with you!” The man tells the nun that she must first have sex with him to prove her loyalty. The nun says yes, but tells him she prefers anal sex. Before you know it, they’re getting down to it, having nasty, grunty, loud sex. After it’s over, the man pulls off his God disguise. “Ha, ha! I’m the man from the bus! ” “Ha, ha!” says the nun, removing her costume. “I’m the bus driver!”

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What’s the difference between a bus full of children and a fish? The fish can swim

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A Man and a Cow are stuck on train tracks and There is a Train in the distance about to hit both of them. A vegan sees this and tries to help. Who does He save, The man or the cow? Neither. He isn’t strong enough to lift either of them.

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