The other day a squirrel asked me for a job, I asked him what jobs did you have previously. Calmly he answered," I am a pilot, I can pick it up from here and pile it over there, I also can fly a sign!!!" " To bad, this is a nut cannery, and we’re 100% automated, we don’t need anyone at this time, sorry." " No worries, I’m totally nuts anyway, guess I’ll fly a sign across town, don’t have bus fare!!!"
1:My grandpa died last year 2:What kind of cancer? 1:He was hit by a bus! its called bus cancer
What’s yellow and can’t swim? A bus full of children
Gays are always welcome on my redneck Party Bus. NOT!
Once there were three Indians. Two were smart and one was… not so smart. One day, the first smart Indian went out hunting. He came back with a dead deer. The not so smart Indian asks “How’d you do it?” The smart one replies, "I followed the deer tracks, shot the deer, and brought it home." The next day, the next smart Indian goes out. He comes back with a dead bear. The not so smart Indian asks once again “How’d you do it?” The smart one replies, "I followed the bear tracks, shot the bear, and brought it home." Finally, it’s now the not so smart Indian’s turn to go hunt. Multiple hours had passed since he left. The smart Indians go out to search for him. They finally find him, bloodied and on the verge of dying. The smart Indians exclaimed "WHAT HAPPENED!" The not so smart Indian replies, “Well I… I followed the train tracks, an… and shot th- the train… bu- but it kept going…”
Whats the difference between me and a bus? Im not on fire…
A man shot into a crowd at the train station and didn’t hit one person, when the police asked why he missed, someone said cause he gay. He couldn’t shoot straight
Why did the pirate kids ride the short bus to school? Because they were retarrrrrrrrrded Tonight, on top gear! James may dives a bus full of kids off a mountain! Richard Hammond starts WW3 in Germany! and I fly a plane into the World Trade Center!
Do your buses run on time? No, they run on diesel.
Ten Catholic priests all die in a bus accident. When they arrive at the pearly gates, St. Peter acknowledges them. He sees that they’re all priests and immediately says "If any of you are pedophiles, there’s no point waiting here. You might as well eff off straight to hell right now!” Nine of the priests turn around and begin to walk away. St. Peter calls after them, "AND TAKE THE DEAF BASTARD WITH YOU TOO!”
Knock knock? who’s there? Not sally she doesn’t have and arms Why did sally fall off the swing? She doesn’t have any arms Why did sally drop her ice cream? She got hit by a bus
A lady from the city and her traveling companion were riding the train through Vermont when she noticed some cows. “What a cute bunch of cows!” she remarked. “Not a bunch, herd”, her friend replied. “Heard of what?” “Herd of cows.” “Of course I’ve heard of cows.” “No, a cow herd. ” “What do I care what a cow heard. I have no secrets to keep from a cow!”
What a day yesterday was I got a promotion and my sisters killer was hit by a bus now I’m in a cast!
What’s the difference between a dirty bus stop and a lobster with boobs? – One is a crusty bus station and the other is a busty crustacean.
Today; Worst day ever My annoying sibling got hit by a train and I lost my job as a conductor.
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