Transport jokes

I’ve sadly received a rejection letter from NASA. Strangely, it says there’s no space on their training programme.

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Why did the strawberry ?? go out with a banana? Because it could not find a date

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What’s the difference between a teacher and a train? The teacher says, “Spit out your gum,” but a train says, “Chew chew!”

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what do you call a train with buble gum? a chew chew train oh man im depressed

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I was talking to a close friend that was Islamic. He said he was being shipped to an amazing training. I asked “where are you going” He said “Camp Bin Laden” I asked “what do they do there” He answered “they got bomb training and hand to hand combat training. Plus the got arts and crafts.” I asked “what do you mean by arts and crafts? ” He said “see this towel on my head” I nodded “I made it out of boxer jokes”

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Today; Worst day ever My annoying sibling got hit by a train and I lost my job as a conductor.

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why are dolphins so smart? Because within three hours they can train a human to stand at the edge of the pool and feed them fish!

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An American, a Cuban, a Russian, and a lawyer are sitting on a subway train, in the same seat. The Cuban pulls out a Cuban cigar for each person, and hands it out. The Cuban takes one puff of his cigar, and he throws it out the window. Everybody but the Cuban goes mad. ?You just wasted an expensive Cuban cigar! How could you?? The Cuban simply says, ?See, in Cuba, cigars are very cheap.? The other passengers are reassured and respond with, ?Oh, OK.? The Russian takes out a small bottle of Russian vodka and pours a shot for all the passengers. The Russian downs his shot, and throws the vodka bottle out the window. The rest of the passengers are alarmed, once again. ?You just destroyed an expensive bottle of Russian vodka! How could you?? The Russian simply states, ?See, in Russia, vodka is very cheap.? Yet again, the other passengers are reassured and respond with, ?Ah, yes! Of course.? The American scratches his head and goes, ?I think I see the pattern here. ? So he takes the lawyer, and he throws him out the window!?

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Why do school shooter have the best shots??? They train at the best schools. ??????????????????????

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1.) What’s Yellow And Can’t Swim? A Bus Full Of Children 2.) Did you hear bout the pilsbury dough boy? he died of a yeast infection 3.) I will never forget my grandads last words… “you’re still holding the ladder right?” 4.) I have a fish that can breakdance… only for 20 seconds though, and only once 5.) give a man a match and he will be warm for a few hours… lite a man on fire and he will be warm for the rest of his life

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