Transport jokes

I had an uncle who was a conductor. He wasn’t a symphony conductor, nor was he a street car conductor, nor was he a train conductor. He was struck by lightning.

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What a day yesterday was I got a promotion and my sisters killer was hit by a bus now I’m in a cast!

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A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The driver says: "Ugh, that’s the ugliest baby I’ve ever seen!" The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to the man next to her: “The driver just insulted me!” The man says: “You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I’ll hold your monkey for you.”

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Why did Little Sally drop her ice cream? Because she got hit by a bus.

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Why did the pirate kids ride the short bus to school? Because they were retarrrrrrrrrded Tonight, on top gear! James may dives a bus full of kids off a mountain! Richard Hammond starts WW3 in Germany! and I fly a plane into the World Trade Center!

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There were three indians that got kick out of the tride. One said “me find food” and he came back with a decent size rabit. The other two asked him what happened he said "me see rabit me shoot rabit and rabit fall down dead. The 2nd indian “me find food” he came back with a good sized deer the other two asked him what happened he said"me see deer me shoot deer deer fall down dead. The third indian said “me find food” he came back crwling mising a leg and an arm and he was all cut up the others anded what happened he said "me see train me shoot trai train no stop

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Boss: Why are you so bad at driving trains, how many have you derailed this year Me: Sorry boss, it’s hard to keep track

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What is yellow and does not float well? A School Bus

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hey look its that TRAINS gender guy he says i like trains uh o

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Whats the difference between me and a bus? Im not on fire…

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Whats yellow and cant swim but screams when it goes under. A school bus full of kids

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Do you know a funny bus driver? I do

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My girlfriend got ran over by a bus I lost my job as a bus driver.

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why are dolphins so smart? Because within three hours they can train a human to stand at the edge of the pool and feed them fish!

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Knock knock? who’s there? Not sally she doesn’t have and arms Why did sally fall off the swing? She doesn’t have any arms Why did sally drop her ice cream? She got hit by a bus

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