Transport jokes

What a day yesterday was I got a promotion and my sisters killer was hit by a bus now I’m in a cast!

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

Chuck Norris trained dude perfect how to do it

-2 -1 0 +1 +2

Chuck Norris gets paid 2m dollars a month training Bear Grylls how to survive in the “harshest conditions on earth”

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

So a retarded kids mom drops her kid off at school and says “you better stop the bus today because I’m not picking you up” and so he agrees and he arrives at the bus stop and says “stop” (in a retarded voice) and the bus goes straight past him the next day the mom says the same thing and the kid goes to the bus stop and says “stop” (in a retarded voice) and the bus goes straight past him the third day his mom says “I don’t care if have to jump out in the middle of the road you better stop that bus” so the kid goes to bus stop and jumps out in the middle of the road and says “Stop!” The bus driver runs over him a nearby lady stops the bus and says “why’d you run that poor kid over” and he responds “‘cause he was making fun of me” (in a retarded voice)

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

yo mama is so fat when she sees a bus full of white people she thinks its a twinkie lmao xd

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

Gays are always welcome on my redneck Party Bus. NOT!

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

Jim and Allyn are 2 mates in the Air Force. They were paired up for a training exersice. They got up into the air and Jim said, “okay Allyn, your helmet can control the missile when launched from the jet. Go ahead and test fire a missile and aim it at anything you want.” Allyn fired the missile and had his eyes set on an abandoned building. Jim then said, “I also forgot, watch out for friendly fire.” Allyn said “what?” As he looked over at Jim.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

Why did the child drop their icecream They got hit by a bus

-2 -1 0 +1 +2

Say what you want about Hitler at least he got the trains to run on time

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

So I was going out the door and I see me dwarf neighbour at the bus stop, I ask if he needs a lift. He replies with fu… off. So I zip up my backpack and keep going to work

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

To become a licensed, airline pilot requires 1,500 hours (two years) of training. But it only takes 10 seconds to steal the pilot’s jacket and hat.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

What’s the difference between a teacher and a train? The teacher says, “Spit out your gum,” but a train says, “Chew chew!”

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

An American, a Cuban, a Russian, and a lawyer are sitting on a subway train, in the same seat. The Cuban pulls out a Cuban cigar for each person, and hands it out. The Cuban takes one puff of his cigar, and he throws it out the window. Everybody but the Cuban goes mad. ?You just wasted an expensive Cuban cigar! How could you?? The Cuban simply says, ?See, in Cuba, cigars are very cheap.? The other passengers are reassured and respond with, ?Oh, OK.? The Russian takes out a small bottle of Russian vodka and pours a shot for all the passengers. The Russian downs his shot, and throws the vodka bottle out the window. The rest of the passengers are alarmed, once again. ?You just destroyed an expensive bottle of Russian vodka! How could you?? The Russian simply states, ?See, in Russia, vodka is very cheap.? Yet again, the other passengers are reassured and respond with, ?Ah, yes! Of course.? The American scratches his head and goes, ?I think I see the pattern here. ? So he takes the lawyer, and he throws him out the window!?

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

Why was the duck fired from the train station? He was a bad conducktor!

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

Why was I stress eating on the train track? To wait to get hit.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *
- up - << N E X T! >> random

© àíåêäîòîâ.net, 1997 - 2025