So I was going out the door and I see me dwarf neighbour at the bus stop, I ask if he needs a lift. He replies with fu… off. So I zip up my backpack and keep going to work
Knock knock? who’s there? Not sally she doesn’t have and arms Why did sally fall off the swing? She doesn’t have any arms Why did sally drop her ice cream? She got hit by a bus
why do Americans always win at the shooting Olympics? :because their train at the best school Are you a train? because I want you to run over me : )
I want to die in my sleep, like grandpa did, not screaming and crying like the people on the bus he drove.
Little Johnny got a train set for Christmas. He takes it around the circle, parks it at the station, and says” alright, you motherf@ckers get off here, and you motherf@ckers get off here” his mom comes rushing in and says” little Johnny, we don’t use that kind of language, go to your room and think about what you did!” After a few hours, she lets him out of his room. He goes back to play with his train set. He takes it around the circle, parks it at the station, and says,” ok, you guys get off here, and you guys get off here. And if you have any complaints about the two hour delay, take it up with the bitch in be kitchen”
"Most Deadly Sport" Playing chicken with a Train!
Say what you want about Hitler at least he got the trains to run on time
Why did lil timmy drop his lollies (He was hit by a train
I’ve sadly received a rejection letter from NASA. Strangely, it says there’s no space on their training programme.
A robber breaks into a house while the residents are away one dark night. Eager to see what he can loot, he quickly starts searching through cupboards and dressers, grabbing valuables with a trained eye. Suddenly, he hears a voice come out of nowhere. “Jesus is watching you.” The criminal jumps, scared the residents are back, and freezes. After a few minutes of silence however, he assumes it was his imagination, and goes back to robbing. A couple minutes pass, before once again, the voice returns. “Jesus is watching you.” Quite confused, the thief searches the house and checks the front door, but nothing pops out as unusual. He finally decides to move rooms, and finds a parrot, but ignores it. Before he can begin to do anything, someone speaks again, “Jesus is watching you.” The robber realized it was the parrot talking! Going to the parrot, he asks it, “Are you the one who’s been talking to me?” The parrot responds, “Yes.” The thief couldn’t believe it. So, he asks another question. “What is your name?” “Ismael.” the parrot replies. The man scoffed. “What type of idiot names a parrot Ismael?” The parrot speaks yet again, “The same type of idiot that names a Rottweiler Jesus.”
I was on a bus when this girl offered to blow me for $5… ?…and never being a person to pass up a good deal, I gave her $5 and watched her do her thing. After she was finished she lit up a cigarette and started smoking right there on the bus. I was disgusted. I thought to myself, “What is this world coming to? Who sells cigarettes to a 12 year old?”
What do you call a train that stalls? The little engine that couldn’t!
Did you here about the man who ran in front of the bus? He got tired.
Ten Catholic priests all die in a bus accident. When they arrive at the pearly gates, St. Peter acknowledges them. He sees that they’re all priests and immediately says "If any of you are pedophiles, there’s no point waiting here. You might as well eff off straight to hell right now!” Nine of the priests turn around and begin to walk away. St. Peter calls after them, "AND TAKE THE DEAF BASTARD WITH YOU TOO!”
When they where going around giving out brains and U thought they where saying train so u said no thanx I’ll take the next one ????
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