Transport jokes

The 1645 service has been cancelled and has been replaced by a replacement bus service. EasyJet would like to apologise to all of those who are travelling to Greece.

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Why did the little boy drop his ice cream? Because he was hit by a bus.

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I’ll never forget my father’s last words… Oh f@ck, it’s a bus!

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What do you call an all you can eat buffet for a Pedophile? A school bus.

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I was on a bus when this girl offered to blow me for $5… ?…and never being a person to pass up a good deal, I gave her $5 and watched her do her thing. After she was finished she lit up a cigarette and started smoking right there on the bus. I was disgusted. I thought to myself, “What is this world coming to? Who sells cigarettes to a 12 year old?”

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One time their was a depressed man standing in the middle of a train track a girl said excuse me can you move please I’m trying than the man stopped her sentence htm title=' than she said back easy hung it up'>and said how is your t shirt so clean than she said back easy hung it up

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Why did little Timmy drop his ice cream cone? He got hit by a bus.

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What is yellow and can’t swim? A school bus full of kids.

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A robber breaks into a house while the residents are away one dark night. Eager to see what he can loot, he quickly starts searching through cupboards and dressers, grabbing valuables with a trained eye. Suddenly, he hears a voice come out of nowhere. “Jesus is watching you.” The criminal jumps, scared the residents are back, and freezes. After a few minutes of silence however, he assumes it was his imagination, and goes back to robbing. A couple minutes pass, before once again, the voice returns. “Jesus is watching you.” Quite confused, the thief searches the house and checks the front door, but nothing pops out as unusual. He finally decides to move rooms, and finds a parrot, but ignores it. Before he can begin to do anything, someone speaks again, “Jesus is watching you.” The robber realized it was the parrot talking! Going to the parrot, he asks it, “Are you the one who’s been talking to me?” The parrot responds, “Yes.” The thief couldn’t believe it. So, he asks another question. “What is your name?” “Ismael.” the parrot replies. The man scoffed. “What type of idiot names a parrot Ismael?” The parrot speaks yet again, “The same type of idiot that names a Rottweiler Jesus.”

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A woman walks onto the Bus with his child. The driver says, "That’s the ugliest child I have seen!" The woman sits down and tells her neighbor. The neighbor replies, “Go say something back. Here, I’ll hold your monkey for you!”

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Why did Little Sally drop her ice cream? Because she got hit by a bus.

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Do you know a funny bus driver? I do

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Is it normal my emo cousins hobby is tying himself to train tracks.

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What do need in order to crash a train? A bad track record

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What does the difference between your new teacher and a train? Your teacher says spit out your gum but a train says Choo Choo!

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