What do you call a train that likes toffee? A chew-chew train
Why did the kid drop his ice cream cone He got ran over by a bus
Two boys are talking on the bus Boy 1: I feel like i’m forgetting something. Boy 2: hey did you hear about that school shooting last week? Boy 1: oh that’s right
1.) What’s Yellow And Can’t Swim? A Bus Full Of Children 2.) Did you hear bout the pilsbury dough boy? he died of a yeast infection 3.) I will never forget my grandads last words… “you’re still holding the ladder right?” 4.) I have a fish that can breakdance… only for 20 seconds though, and only once 5.) give a man a match and he will be warm for a few hours… lite a man on fire and he will be warm for the rest of his life
3 blonde were walking on a path, the first blonde said, “Hey look there are deer tracks!” The second blonde said, “No way those are totally duck tracks, ” The third blonde said, “Nuh uh those are” then they got hit by a train.
Why did Sally drop her ice cream? Because she got hit by a bus. Knock knock. Who’s there? Not Sally whats yellow and cant swim a bus full of toddlers
Knock knock? who’s there? Not sally she doesn’t have and arms Why did sally fall off the swing? She doesn’t have any arms Why did sally drop her ice cream? She got hit by a bus
What’s yellow and cant swim? A school bus full of screaming children.
My boss yelled at me the other day, “You’ve got to be the worst train driver in history. How many trains did you derail last year? ” I said, “Can’t say for sure, it’s so hard to keep track!”
whats the difference between al qaeda and ms frizzle? One flew a plane into the twin towers one flew a bus into the school
Is it normal my emo cousins hobby is tying himself to train tracks.
Why was I stress eating on the train track? To wait to get hit.
A bus full of Nuns falls of a cliff and they all die. They arrive at the gates of heaven and meet St. Peter. St. Peter says to them “Sisters, welcome to Heaven. In a moment I will let you all though the pearly gates, but before I may do that, I must ask each of you a single question. ” St. Peter turns to the first Nun in the line and asks her “Sister, have you ever touched a penis?” The Sister Responds “Well… there was this one time… that I kinda sorta… touched one with the tip of my pinky finger…” St. Peter says “Alright Sister, now dip the tip of your pinky finger in the Holy Water, and you may be admitted.” and she did so. St. Peter now turns to the second nun and says “Sister, have you ever touched a penis?” “Well…. There was this one time… that I held one for a moment…” “Alright Sister, now just wash your hands in the Holy Water, and you may be admitted” and she does so. Now at this, there is a noise, a jostling in the line. It seems that one nun is trying to cut in front of another! St. Peter sees this and asks the Nun “Sister Susan, what is this? There is no rush!” Sister Susan responds “Well if I’m going to have to gargle this stuff, I’d rather do it before Sister Mary sticks her ass in it!”
Boss: Why are you so bad at driving trains, how many have you derailed this year Me: Sorry boss, it’s hard to keep track
Today; Worst day ever My annoying sibling got hit by a train and I lost my job as a conductor.
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