Transport jokes

%% %%A train walks into a bar. It says to the barkeeper, “I’ll have a gallon of ale.” “A gallon?” the barkeeper asks. “Yes,” replies the train, “I always end up chugging it.”

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There were 15 ugly guys on a bus. The bus crashed and they all went to heaven. God took pity on them and told the ugly dudes they could have one wish. The first guy said,"I want to be handsome. " God granted his wish. The second guy said,“I want to be more handsome than the first guy.”, God granted his wish. “The third guy said " I want to be more handsome than the second guy.” God granted his wish and this continued on and on until the 15 ugly guy.The ugly guy was laughing. Really hard. “What is your wish? ” God asked him. “I WANT ALL THESE GUYS UGLY AGAIN!!!” God granted his wish

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What do you call a train that stalls? The little engine that couldn’t!

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The 1645 service has been cancelled and has been replaced by a replacement bus service. EasyJet would like to apologise to all of those who are travelling to Greece.

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What is yellow and can’t swim? A school bus full of kids.

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Two boys are talking on the bus Boy 1: I feel like i’m forgetting something. Boy 2: hey did you hear about that school shooting last week? Boy 1: oh that’s right

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What’s the difference between a dirty bus stop and a lobster with boobs? – One is a crusty bus station and the other is a busty crustacean.

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A man shot into a crowd at the train station and didn’t hit one person, when the police asked why he missed, someone said cause he gay. He couldn’t shoot straight

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Why was the train late? It kept getting side-tracked.

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I was talking to a close friend that was Islamic. He said he was being shipped to an amazing training. I asked “where are you going” He said “Camp Bin Laden” I asked “what do they do there” He answered “they got bomb training and hand to hand combat training. Plus the got arts and crafts.” I asked “what do you mean by arts and crafts? ” He said “see this towel on my head” I nodded “I made it out of boxer jokes”

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My ex girlfriend got hit by a bus. I also lost my bus drivers licence.

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A lady from the city and her traveling companion were riding the train through Vermont when she noticed some cows. “What a cute bunch of cows!” she remarked. “Not a bunch, herd”, her friend replied. “Heard of what?” “Herd of cows.” “Of course I’ve heard of cows.” “No, a cow herd. ” “What do I care what a cow heard. I have no secrets to keep from a cow!”

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Q: How did the explorers get to school? A: They rode the Colum-bus!

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