Whats the difference between me and a bus? Im not on fire…
You wanna know why I love trains? They end my suffering.
Why did the kid drop his ice cream cone? Because he got hit by a bus!
A bus full of Nuns falls of a cliff and they all die. They arrive at the gates of heaven and meet St. Peter. St. Peter says to them “Sisters, welcome to Heaven. In a moment I will let you all though the pearly gates, but before I may do that, I must ask each of you a single question. ” St. Peter turns to the first Nun in the line and asks her “Sister, have you ever touched a penis?” The Sister Responds “Well… there was this one time… that I kinda sorta… touched one with the tip of my pinky finger…” St. Peter says “Alright Sister, now dip the tip of your pinky finger in the Holy Water, and you may be admitted.” and she did so. St. Peter now turns to the second nun and says “Sister, have you ever touched a penis?” “Well…. There was this one time… that I held one for a moment…” “Alright Sister, now just wash your hands in the Holy Water, and you may be admitted” and she does so. Now at this, there is a noise, a jostling in the line. It seems that one nun is trying to cut in front of another! St. Peter sees this and asks the Nun “Sister Susan, what is this? There is no rush!” Sister Susan responds “Well if I’m going to have to gargle this stuff, I’d rather do it before Sister Mary sticks her ass in it!”
%% %%A train walks into a bar. It says to the barkeeper, “I’ll have a gallon of ale.” “A gallon?” the barkeeper asks. “Yes,” replies the train, “I always end up chugging it.”
I was sitting next to this really hot Thai girl on the bus and all I could think to myself was, “Don’t get an erection, don’t get an erection”… But she did.
A man shot into a crowd at the train station and didn’t hit one person, when the police asked why he missed, someone said cause he gay. He couldn’t shoot straight
I want to die in my sleep, like grandpa did, not screaming and crying like the people on the bus he drove.
Why are Egyptian gods orphans Because Egypt needs to sell Anubis (a-new-bus) every year to make a prophet
What do you call a freight train with bubble gum? A chew chew train!
Ur momma is so fat, when she chose a yellow shirt when she was on a run, the kids ran after her bc they thought they missed the bus.
Why did little billy drop his ice cream cone? Cuz he got hit by a bus while crossing the street.
timmy has 5 apples, his train is 7 minutes early calculate the mass of the sun
What do you call an all you can eat buffet for a Pedophile? A school bus.
I was on a bus when this girl offered to blow me for $5… ?…and never being a person to pass up a good deal, I gave her $5 and watched her do her thing. After she was finished she lit up a cigarette and started smoking right there on the bus. I was disgusted. I thought to myself, “What is this world coming to? Who sells cigarettes to a 12 year old?”
RUS | ENG
