A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The driver says: "Ugh, that’s the ugliest baby I’ve ever seen!" The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to the man next to her: “The driver just insulted me!” The man says: “You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I’ll hold your monkey for you.”
Why are we depressed, is it because that bully in your school, or that you have acne, how about when you listen to you sad song playlist, maybe cause you have no friends, Or is it the fact your anime girlfriend is fake. T^T
like if you have a boyfriend girlfriend or husband or wife or a crush.
My girlfriend left me because of my obsession with pasta. – I’m doing well, but I do get cannelloni.
If depression is going to be my girlfriend. Will she leave me?
A pregnant wife and her husband were in a hospital as she was in labour, the doctor suggested using a machine that transfers the birth pains from the mother to the father, they agree so the machine is used, 40%, the husband feels nothing, 70% still not felling anything, 100%, nothing. The doctor says it must be broken. When the pair return home, the milkman is dead in the front yard.
Wife: “I look fat. Can you give me a compliment?” Husband: “You have perfect eyesight.”
my girl is so cute when she sleeps I watch her all the time……………….tomorrow I might say hi to her for the first time
i like my woman like i like my coffee in a big sack on top of donkey
One night a girl said to her family "Goodnight Mommy, Goodnight Daddy, Goodnight Grandma, Goodbye Grandpa. the next morning her grandpa died. That night she said "Goodnight mommy, Goodnight daddy, Goodbye Grandma. the next morning the grandma died. The dad started to fear for his life because he was next. That night the girl said "Goodnight mommy, Goodbye daddy. the next morning the dad woke up and he was perfectly fine but when he went into the kitchen he saw his wife crying. when he asked her whats wrong she said “The Mail Man died”.
I said to my pregnant wife push darling , come on push harder dear , no she wasn’t giving birth the bloody car would not start .
If a man drove over a woman, whose fault was it? The man, because he shouldn’t be driving in the kitchen.
My girlfriend got ran over by a bus I lost my job as a bus driver.
I showed my girlfriend my shotgun yesterday. It really blew her away.
My wife told me I was immature. I just told her to get out of my pillow fort.
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