Jon said:What do you call a pregnant woman? Mike said: I don’t know what? Jon said: kinder surprise
I was out for dinner with my 19 year old girlfriend. I being 42, had many people shouting at me, scolding me, calling me a creep. It really ruined our 10th anniversary.
Damn girl, are you a smoke detector? Because you’re super annoying and won’t shut up.
my wife said if I don’t get of the computer shes gonna slam my head in to the keyboard but I think I’ll ajlkfsdhnvkwr;anhf My wife left me for an Indian guy. – I know he’s going to treat her well, I heard they worship cows.
A man boards a plane with six children of various ages. After the plane takes off, a woman sitting sitting behind the man asks him, “are all of them yours?” “No,” the man responds. “I work for a condom company and these are some of the customer complaints.”
Boy: my girlfriend didn’t dump me, I dumped her… Off the nearby cliff
Vagina jokes aren’t funny. Moist of the time.
Why has Stephen hawking’s stopped playing hide and seek with his wife? Because she keeps using a metal detector
"I’d rather go through the pain of childbirth again than let you drill in my mouth,"the woman told her dentist. He replied, “Well, please make up your mind so I can adjust my chair.”
how did Stephan hawking please his woman he uses a hard drive.
My wife told me I was immature. I just told her to get out of my pillow fort.
My wife asked me to help cure her from sucking her thumb. So I drew a cock on it.
my girlfriend asked me if we could have anal sex and I said what’s that, she said I f@ck her ass, I said oh my uncle calls that shhhhh
A wife asked her husband why he cheated on her. His reply was “she was just lying there naked on the table, what was I supposed to do?” The wife reply’s “perform the f@cking autopsy!”
After my wife died, I couldn’t even look at another woman for 10 years. But now that I’m out of jail, I can honestly say it was worth it!
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