I lost my job at the bank on my very first day. – A woman asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her over.
A man comes home and finds his wife in bed with another guy “What’s going on here!?” He exclaims. The wife replies “See, I told you he was stupid.”
Girlfriends are just like Ak47s they always go off on you.
Today was a terrible day. My wife got hit by a bus, and I lost my job as a bus driver
One night, I saw a woman sitting behind a dumpster. So I took her home. We talked all the way there. When we got home, I gave her a bath. Later on, things started getting passionate. We started doing intercourse, and some of the noises she made you would have thought she was still alive! My girlfriend dumped me, so I stole her wheelchair Guess who came crawling back
An older retired couple - the wife had grown tired of her husband farting in bed each night. One morning she put some chicken parts under the blankets in bed next to him and went off to make some coffee, A few minutes later she hears a loud fart followed by a blood curdling scream. He comes out after awhile and says, “Hon, you were right that I would fart my guts out. Took me the longest to put them back in”.
"I’d rather go through the pain of childbirth again than let you drill in my mouth,"the woman told her dentist. He replied, “Well, please make up your mind so I can adjust my chair.”
After my wife died, I couldn’t even look at another woman for 10 years. But now that I’m out of jail, I can honestly say it was worth it!
A wife is like a grenade. Pull the ring and the house is gone.
My girlfriend treats me like God. – She ignores my existence and only talks to me when she needs something.
how did Stephan hawking please his woman he uses a hard drive.
20 years of sex in the dark the wife find out he was using a dildo the wife get angry and says ?explain the dildo prick? the husband says ?explain the children bitch
rmm
My girlfriend told me the dishwasher was leaking so I brought home some tampons
I comforted my friend about his wife’s death: until I found out who did it.
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