Why did the astronaut break up with his girlfriend? - Because he needed some space.
My girlfriend called me a pedophile but what does she know, She’s 7
A feminist walks into a bar. Her friend says “oh my god your shoulders are broad!” another woman says “are you sure it’s a woman?”
When your girlfriend has an abortion, it’s kinda like dodging your own bullets.
my girlfriend asked me if we could have anal sex and I said what’s that, she said I f@ck her ass, I said oh my uncle calls that shhhhh
I got a handjob of a blind woman the other day she said its the biggest thing i ever had in my hand i said no love your just pulling my leg
I comforted my friend about his wife’s death: until I found out who did it.
My ex girlfriend got hit by a bus. I also lost my bus drivers licence.
One day I got home and told my girlfriend “I cheated on you.” she replied with “F**k you” I then said “But you won’t, that’s why I cheated on you.”
why is there no woman on the moon? because it doesnt need to be cleaned
What’s the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb You can unscrew a light bulg
Woman: Doctor, where are we going? Doctor: To the morgue. Woman: I’m not dead yet, doctor. Doctor: We’re not at morgue yet, either
Husband: Hay honey words can’t describe how beautiful you are. Wife: aww thanks Husband:But numbers can 0 out of 10
I know a woman who owns a taser. – She’s stunning!
A man boards a plane with six children of various ages. After the plane takes off, a woman sitting sitting behind the man asks him, “are all of them yours?” “No,” the man responds. “I work for a condom company and these are some of the customer complaints.”
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