Wife: (on phone) hi Husband: hey I didn’t know dishwashers talk and make me a sandwich.
nearly 40% of the world have been in a relationship; the 60% are worstjokesever.com users
My kids are so ungrateful. I got them a new dishwasher and they just won’t stop complaining about their mom whats the difference between a lightbulb and a preganant woman you can unscrew the lightbulb
Flippity floppity women are property
my boyfriend accused me of cheating. i told him he reminded me of my girlfriend.
I see some objects over there… oh never mind, that’s a woman.
One night, I saw a woman sitting behind a dumpster. So I took her home. We talked all the way there. When we got home, I gave her a bath. Later on, things started getting passionate. We started doing intercourse, and some of the noises she made you would have thought she was still alive!
A doctor is telling three women what they are addicted to. He says to the first one "You are addicted to money, you named your daughter Penny" He says to the second one "You are addicted to food, you named you daughter Candy" Then the third one whispers to her son “Come on Dick, lets go.”
One day I told my wife that she drew her I brows too high, She looked surprised.
Some trans “woman” came up to me and told me to act my age so I told him to act his gender How can you tell if your wife is dead? – The sex is the same but the dishes start piling up.
wha can you tella dog, but not your girlfriend…? come
Y is it everyone wants to rub a pregnant woman stomach but never the man’s balls where the baby actually came from and the real ones that deserve the congratulations
In my mothers generation, they grew up with wonder woman. In ours, we have to wonder if she’s a woman.
My girlfriend told me the dishwasher was leaking so I brought home some tampons
Guy starts chatting to pretty woman at a party Seeing that she didn’t back off he asked her name. “Carmen,” she replied. That’s a nice name," he said warming up the conversation, “Who named you, your mother?” "No, I named myself, she answered. “Oh, that’s interesting. Why Carmen?” “Because I like cars, and I like men,” she said looking directly into his eyes. “So what’s your name?” she asked. ‘BJ Titsngolf’
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