I see some objects over there… oh never mind, that’s a woman.
When you break up with your online girlfriend, and you hear your uncle crying in the other room. My father is like Houdini, when he heard his girlfriend was pregnant he disappeared.
A woman goes into labor with her child. The doctor says that they have invented a new device to transfer the pain of child birth to the father. He asks if it is ok to use the new device. The couple agrees and so he turns the pain to the father to 10%. The man feels nothing. They then bump it up to 20%. He still feels nothing. They keep doing this until they have the machine up to 100%. The man still felt nothing so they go home happy, until they find the milkman dead on the porch.
How do you know when you girlfriend is to young ? you have to make airoplane noises to get her to open her mouth… sorry
After my wife died, I couldn’t even look at another woman for 10 years. But now that I’m out of jail, I can honestly say it was worth it!
Therapist: so what brought you here today? wife: he’s too literal Therapist: and you sir? husband: my truck
I broke up with my deaf girlfriend because she never listened to me.
3 citizens were going through an exam to become agents of the FBI, their instructor handed the first guy a gun in a room with his wife and said he had to shoot them, he walked out in shame and said he couldn’t do it. The second guy had the same scenario, he put the gun up but couldn’t pull the trigger so he walked out in shame. The third guy was put in the same scenario, he walked out and told the instructor, “The gun wasn’t loaded, I had to strangle the bitch.”
Once an orphan got a girlfriend. He regreted it. She left him too.
Do you know what’s the difference between a knife and a girl’s argument A knife has a point
My ex-wife still misses me… BUT HER AIM IS GETTIN BETTER!
like if you have a boyfriend girlfriend or husband or wife or a crush.
I was out for dinner with my 19 year old girlfriend. I being 42, had many people shouting at me, scolding me, calling me a creep. It really ruined our 10th anniversary.
The cops are still searching for my wife’s killer. Luckily I already fled the country.
My wife thinks i’m immature, so I told her to get out of my fort.
RUS | ENG
