Woman jokes

I know a woman who owns a taser. – She’s stunning!

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If I had a dollar for every girl that found me unattractive, they would eventually find me attractive.

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20 years of sex in the dark the wife find out he was using a dildo the wife get angry and says ?explain the dildo prick? the husband says ?explain the children bitch

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When you break up with your online girlfriend, and you hear your uncle crying in the other room. My father is like Houdini, when he heard his girlfriend was pregnant he disappeared.

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I have just started a sexual relationship with a blind woman. It’s very rewarding, but quite challenging. – Took me ages to get her husband’s voice right.

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My girlfriend treats me like God. – She ignores my existence and only talks to me when she needs something.

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Fishing and girlfriends are exactly alike, there may be plenty of fish in the sea, but until i find one, i’m stuck here holding my rod

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You can tell a lot about a woman from her ankles. – If they are on your shoulders, she probably likes you.

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What do you do after your girlfriend with two broken legs dumps you? Take her wheel chair, she’ll come crawling back.

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Why can’t Helen Keller drive? Because she’s a woman.

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