My girlfriend told me she was leaving me because I keep pretending to be a Transformer. I said, “No, wait! I can change.”
I haven’t talked to my wife in three weeks. – I didn’t want to interrupt her. A female class teacher was having a problem with a boy in her class in Grade 3… The boy said, “Madam, I should be in Grade 4. I am smarter than my sister & she’s in Grade 4”. The Madam had heard enough and took the boy to the principal.The principal decided to test the boy with some
A man wakes up from his operation and the doctor says ‘I have bad news and good news, what do you want to hear first?’ The man says ‘bad’ so the doctor says ‘during the surgery your girlfriend decided to leave a message that she’s leaving you for another man’ the man says ‘what’s the good then? ’ And the doctor says ‘I’m picking her up at 7’
Two men were talking about their wives The first man says “My wife is an angel.” The second man says “You’re lucky, mine’s still alive.”
How do you know when you girlfriend is to young ? you have to make airoplane noises to get her to open her mouth… sorry
Fishing and girlfriends are exactly alike, there may be plenty of fish in the sea, but until i find one, i’m stuck here holding my rod
An artist is commissioned to create a painting celebrating Soviet-Polish friendship, to be called “Lenin in Poland.” When the painting is unveiled at the Kremlin, there is a gasp from the invited guests. The painting depicts Lenin’s wife naked in bed with Leon Trotsky. “But this is a travesty! Where is Lenin? ” Asks one of the guests. “Lenin is in Poland,” replies the painter.
A elderly woman and an elderly man were at a retirement home The man was shuffling a deck of cards for a card game The man asks "Is it your first time? " The woman replies “It’s been a while since a man has asked me that.”
There was a cannibal who had a wife and (eight) kids.
I asked a pretty, young homeless woman if I could take her home. She smiled at me and said yes. The look on her face soon changed, however, when I walked off with her cardboard box.
The person who made it a law to not hurt girls is stupid because we’ve all kicked a pregnant woman before we where even born. the doctor says to the woman there was good and bad news. the woman says she wants the bad news first the doctor says the bad news is the baby had red hair. then he said the good news is it is dead.
A man is walking on the deck of a cruise ship, when he sees a woman, without arms and legs, crying. The man says “What’s wrong?” The woman says “I’ve never been hugged before.” So, the man gives her a hug and walks away. The next day, the man sees the woman, on the deck, crying again. The man says “What’s wrong, now?” The woman says “I’ve never been kissed before.” So, the man gives her a kiss and walks away. The next day, the same thing occurs. The man says “Oh, for Christ’s sake! What’s wrong, this time?!” The woman says “Well, I’ve never been f@cked before.” So, the man picks her up, throws her into the ocean, and yells “YOU’RE f@ckED!”
I got a handjob of a blind woman the other day she said its the biggest thing i ever had in my hand i said no love your just pulling my leg
my girl is so cute when she sleeps I watch her all the time……………….tomorrow I might say hi to her for the first time
Boy: my girlfriend didn’t dump me, I dumped her… Off the nearby cliff
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