I comforted my friend about his wife’s death: until I found out who did it.
20 years of sex in the dark the wife find out he was using a dildo the wife get angry and says ?explain the dildo prick? the husband says ?explain the children bitch
My wife thinks i’m immature, so I told her to get out of my fort.
FIRST DATE man: i work with animals every day woman: oh how sweet! what is it that you do? man: im a butcher…
There was a cannibal who had a wife and (eight) kids.
A doctor is telling three women what they are addicted to. He says to the first one "You are addicted to money, you named your daughter Penny" He says to the second one "You are addicted to food, you named you daughter Candy" Then the third one whispers to her son “Come on Dick, lets go.”
how do you know when your wife is cheating on you? she comes home with sparkles on her face
I asked my girlfriend if he wanted to join my family tree… She dropped the rope and ran
A woman went out on a date and said “I’m thirty one with the body of a sixteen year old” the man responded “wanna show me???” the woman took him back to her house and opened her freezer and said, “take a look”
What do you call it if your mom is a guy and ur dad is a woman? Transparent
I have a girlfriend.
Wife: "How would you describe me?" Husband: "ABCDEFGHIJK." Wife: "What does that mean?" Husband: "Adorable (A), beautiful (B), cute ©, delightful (D), elegant (E), fashionable (F), gorgeous (G), and hot (H). " Wife: "Aw, thank you, but what about IJK?" Husband: “I’m just kidding!”
Some trans “woman” came up to me and told me to act my age so I told him to act his gender How can you tell if your wife is dead? – The sex is the same but the dishes start piling up.
My girlfriend got ran over by a bus I lost my job as a bus driver.
Woman: Doctor, where are we going? Doctor: To the morgue. Woman: I’m not dead yet, doctor. Doctor: We’re not at morgue yet, either
RUS | ENG
