So i was sitting on the couch with a woman,and i asked her,does this napkin smell like chloroform?
Billy: spits out food
Mom: BILLY! We swallow what we have in our mouths.
Dad: looks at mom
Mom: Shut up
If you get you get it
My boyfriend accused me of cheating. i told him he reminded me of my girlfriend.
Jokes about menstruation are not funny. Period.
What’s the difference between a battery and my wife? The battery has a positive side
My German girlfriend likes to rate our sex between 1-10.
Last night we tried anal, she kept shouting 9!
That’s the best I’ve done so far.
I was watching my daughter play at the park, a woman came up to me and asked which one was mine, I said I was still choosing.
One time i broke up with my roblox girlfriend by sending her a message, 30 seconds later i heard my uncle crying in the next room
Men vacuum in the same way that they have sex.
They just put it in and make some noise for 3 minutes before they collapse on the couch and think that their wife should be really happy.
My girlfriend treats me like God. – She ignores my existence and only talks to me when she needs something.
Why did the Chinese woman hang up?
Because she Wang the Wong number
What is the diffrence between a snow woman and a snowman? Snowballs
There was a cannibal who had a wife and (eight) kids.
A husband got a message from his neighbor one day. It read “Hey im sorry i had to tell you like this but i have been doing your wife for months now” The husband went to go grab his gun and shot his wife. He hid the evidence and a few hours later he got another message from his neighbor saying “Sorry meant using your wifi”
A woman was 3 months pregnant when she fell into a coma. After 6 months she woke. She asked the doctor “hows the baby?” “You had twins” the doctor replied. “Your brother named them” the woman said *oh no not my brother what did he call them?" “He called the girl Denise” “what about the boy” the woman asked the doctor said “denephew”
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