My ex girlfriend got hit by a bus. I also lost my bus drivers licence.
Some trans “woman” came up to me and told me to act my age so I told him to act his gender How can you tell if your wife is dead? – The sex is the same but the dishes start piling up.
I was out for dinner with my 19 year old girlfriend. I being 42, had many people shouting at me, scolding me, calling me a creep. It really ruined our 10th anniversary.
one time i broke up with my roblox girlfriend by sending her a message, 30 seconds later i heard my uncle crying in the next room
I said to my pregnant wife push darling , come on push harder dear , no she wasn’t giving birth the bloody car would not start .
you can tell a lot about a woman’s mood just by her hands. For example, if she’s holding a gun, she’s probably angry.
wha can you tella dog, but not your girlfriend…? come
I have a girlfriend.
3 citizens were going through an exam to become agents of the FBI, their instructor handed the first guy a gun in a room with his wife and said he had to shoot them, he walked out in shame and said he couldn’t do it. The second guy had the same scenario, he put the gun up but couldn’t pull the trigger so he walked out in shame. The third guy was put in the same scenario, he walked out and told the instructor, “The gun wasn’t loaded, I had to strangle the bitch.”
How do you know when you girlfriend is to young ? you have to make airoplane noises to get her to open her mouth… sorry
If a man drove over a woman, whose fault was it? The man, because he shouldn’t be driving in the kitchen.
Roast: What is the difference between your girlfriend and a walrus? One is hairy and smells like fish and the other is a walrus. Your welcome
I was watching my daughter play at the park, a woman came up to me and asked which one was mine, I said I was still choosing.
An old woman goes to the doctor complaining of extremely smelly gas. “I don’t understand it, Doc”, she said, “I have this terrible, terrible gas”. “Thankfully”, she added, “they are at least silent when I fart”. Doctor hands her a bottle of pills, tells her take them all and then come back to see him. The old woman returned a short time later extremely mad. “I took those pills like you said and not only is my gas smelly, but now when I fart they are obnoxiously loud!”, she yelled. The doctor said, “well, now that we’ve solved your hearing problem, let’s see what we can do about that gas”.
What do you do if your girlfriend starts smoking? Stop and apply lubrication.
RUS | ENG
