I brought my girlfriend home and introduced her to my family. My kids liked her, but my wife seemed upset
What do you do after your girlfriend with two broken legs dumps you? Take her wheel chair, she’ll come crawling back.
So I caught my girlfriend masturbating with a carrot. My first reaction was “Shit, I was gonna eat that later, but now it’s gonna taste like carrots!”
nearly 40% of the world have been in a relationship; the 60% are worstjokesever.com users
Your at your girlfriends house for a family dinner. Your GF says, " Daddy please pass me the salt." when you and her father begin to reach for the salt.
My girlfriend’s dog died, so I tried to cheer her up by getting her an identical one. It just made her more upset. She screamed at me, “What am I supposed to do with two dead dogs?”
what is the diffrence between a snow woman and a snowman? Snowballs
I was watching my daughter play at the park, a woman came up to me and asked which one was mine, I said I was still choosing.
Why has Stephen hawking’s stopped playing hide and seek with his wife? Because she keeps using a metal detector
My girlfriend broke up with me because I stole her wheelchair. But I knew she’d come crawling back to me.
My girlfriend tried to make me have sex on the hood of her Honda Civic. – But if I’m going to have sex, it’s going to be on my own Accord.
My ex girlfriend got hit by a bus. I also lost my bus drivers licence.
My girlfriend is a porn star. – She will kill me if she finds out.
The doctor says “your wife is PREGNENT” the man says that he used a condom and the doctor says "ya but I didn’t
My wife thinks i’m immature, so I told her to get out of my fort.
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