i cought my girlfriend cheating on me, with our dad.
Why couldn’t the lizard get a girlfriend? Because he had a reptile dysfunction!
I brought my girlfriend home and introduced her to my family. My kids liked her, but my wife seemed upset
My girlfriend broke up with me. She said I was a pedophile. I told her, “PEDOPHILE? Wow, that sure is a big word for an eight-year-old!”
A blind man walks into a bar, and asks the bartender, “Wanna hear a blonde joke?” The bartender replies with, “I’m blonde, the man working next to me is blonde, the woman next to you is blonde, and the fat guy behind you is blonde.” Then says “Do you really wanna tell the blonde joke? ” the blind guy responds with "No I don’t wanna tell it that many times.
I said to my pregnant wife push darling , come on push harder dear , no she wasn’t giving birth the bloody car would not start .
I showed my girlfriend my shotgun yesterday. It really blew her away.
Me at the Oscars when i see Jada Pinkett Smith, me, I said: “G.I. Jane 2, more like G.I Jada 2, can’t wait to see it” So will smith is laughing and then suddenly, Suddenly Will Smith walks up to me and punches me in the face Me: "Ow, oh, wow. Will Smith just smacked the shit out of me.” My nigcka Smith goes: “KEEP MY WIFE’S NAME OUT OF YOUR f@ckING MOUTH! ” Me: “Maybe you should focus on keeping her friends out of hers”
A kid tell me he was gonna f$&k my mom on Fortnite! So I toldhim I was gonna double pump his mom untill she was wet like moisty meyers like if your not A GAY dislike if your furry repost if you HATE blacks omment for VBUCKS sub to me on youtube its my friend and he has aids send himjoeide53rygq2ej/le nb rfcshsu 3nurtv N3Q5UERIUGWTC7w2VWGYEHIWAWASERYAANFYINSIDEFREHJOBUGFUYWUSGRFYDIDYFRG911
My girlfriend keeps calling me a pedophile. That’s a big word for a seven year old.
My girlfriend and I often laugh about how competitive we are… But I laugh more. How can you tell if you have a high sperm count? When your girlfriend has to chew before she swallows.
Little Jonny just came back from quarantine with his girlfriend Sally. They both said they had to go to the bathroom. When they came back Sally was coughing up a storm. The teacher said you need to be quarantined again. No sally said I was just in the bathroom choking on something that grown-ups especially women like. Then the teacher faints.
My girlfriend told me the dishwasher was leaking so I brought home some tampons
When your girlfriend has an abortion, it’s kinda like dodging your own bullets.
A blind woman tells her boyfriend that she’s seeing someone. It’s either really terrible news or really great news.
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