Woman jokes

I nailed my Jewish girlfriend so hard she turned Christian.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

A guy wins a free ticket to the Super Bowl and so he’s very excited. However, he’s not so excited when he gets there and realizes his seat’s in the back of the stadium. So he looks around him for a better seat, and to his surprise he finds an empty seat right next to the field. He approaches the older guy who’s sitting in the seat next to the empty one and asks if the seat is taken. The man replies, “No.” The young guy is very surprised to hear this and asks, “How could someone pass up a seat like this?” The older guy replies, “It’s my wife’s seat. We’ve been to every Super Bowl together since the day we were married but she’s passed away.” “Oh, how sad,” the young guy says, taken aback. “I’m sorry to hear that, but couldn’t you find a friend or relative to come with you? ” “No,” the man replies, “They’re all at the funeral.”

-2 -1 0 +1 +2

Boy: my girlfriend didn’t dump me, I dumped her… Off the nearby cliff

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

A elderly woman and an elderly man were at a retirement home The man was shuffling a deck of cards for a card game The man asks "Is it your first time? " The woman replies “It’s been a while since a man has asked me that.”

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

A guy walks into a bar with a revolver and yells, “WHO THE F*** F***ED MY WIFE!” A man in the back responds, “YOU AINT GOT ENOUGH BULLETS MATE!” A friend of mine just got divorced. He and his ex-wife split the house. He got the outside.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

Me and my wife were out at dinner me being 48 and her being 19, people where screaming at us and calling me a creep. It realy ruined our 10th anniversary

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

i like my woman like i like my coffee in a big sack on top of donkey

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

I was out for dinner with my 19 year old girlfriend. I being 42, had many people shouting at me, scolding me, calling me a creep. It really ruined our 10th anniversary.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2

A doctor tells a woman she can no longer touch anything alcoholic. So she gets a divorce.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

I broke up with my deaf girlfriend because she never listened to me.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

An artist is commissioned to create a painting celebrating Soviet-Polish friendship, to be called “Lenin in Poland.” When the painting is unveiled at the Kremlin, there is a gasp from the invited guests. The painting depicts Lenin’s wife naked in bed with Leon Trotsky. “But this is a travesty! Where is Lenin? ” Asks one of the guests. “Lenin is in Poland,” replies the painter.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

Why does Dr. Pepper come in a bottle? Because his wife died.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

My girlfriends last words I can’t wait to become a mom

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

There was a cannibal who had a wife and (eight) kids.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

I’ve been looking for my ex girlfriend’s killer for the past two years. But no one would do it.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *
- up - << N E X T! >> random

© àíåêäîòîâ.net, 1997 - 2025