Damn girl, are you a smoke detector? Because you’re super annoying and won’t shut up.
Since it started raining, all my wife has done is look sadly through the stupid window… If it gets any worse, I’ll have to let her in.
A feminist walks into a bar. Her friend says “oh my god your shoulders are broad!” another woman says “are you sure it’s a woman?”
My girlfriend broke up with me. She said I was a pedophile. I told her, “PEDOPHILE? Wow, that sure is a big word for an eight-year-old!”
why is there no woman on the moon? because it doesnt need to be cleaned
like if you have a boyfriend girlfriend or husband or wife or a crush.
I have a girlfriend.
A woman went out on a date and said “I’m thirty one with the body of a sixteen year old” the man responded “wanna show me???” the woman took him back to her house and opened her freezer and said, “take a look”
There was a cannibal who had a wife and (eight) kids.
I asked my girlfriend if he wanted to join my family tree… She dropped the rope and ran
My ex-wife was deaf. She left me for a deaf friend of hers. To be honest, I should have seen the signs.
I took my girlfriend out the other day… Man do I love being a sniper.
What’s the worst part of Breaking up with a Japanese girl? You have to drop the bomb twice until she finally gets it. I have a problem my dad any my girlfriend have the same birthday. So one took my virginity and the other is my girlfriend
At the funeral of a family friend, I was chatting to June, an elderly lady I hadn’t seen since I was a teenager. I was thrilled when she told me what a beautiful young woman I’d become. On the journey home, I remarked to my mother how lovely it had been to see June again. “Yes, it’s such a shame that she’s gone blind,” she said sadly.
My wife is like a mirror I can never look at it
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