When you break up with your online girlfriend, and you hear your uncle crying in the other room. My father is like Houdini, when he heard his girlfriend was pregnant he disappeared.
my girlfriend asked me if we could have anal sex and I said what’s that, she said I f@ck her ass, I said oh my uncle calls that shhhhh
Two girls have a sleepover. Karen: Let’s go to bed. Lauren:Fine, but it’s early. *Karen wakes up and exits room" Lauren hears noise Mikey: Your so much better than my girlfriend Karen. Lauren: laughs Lauren: remembers her boyfriend is Karen’s brother Mikey
My girlfriend called me a pedophile but what does she know, She’s 7
My girlfriend lives a few miles away from me. The other night, she called me at around 3 AM. She was terrified. She said that there were two armed gunmen in her apartment. With all that adrenaline going through my system, it made it hard to go back to sleep.
What kind of woman does Bill Cosby like the most? The “cold and passed out” kind.
An American woman married a British man. On their honeymoon, the British husband said, ?You look like a million pounds!? The wife divorced him.
What do you do after your girlfriend with two broken legs dumps you? Take her wheel chair, she’ll come crawling back.
i like my woman like i like my coffee in a big sack on top of donkey
Wife: (on phone) hi Husband: hey I didn’t know dishwashers talk and make me a sandwich.
wha can you tella dog, but not your girlfriend…? come
Once an orphan got a girlfriend. He regreted it. She left him too.
My ex-wife was deaf. She left me for a deaf friend of hers. To be honest, I should have seen the signs.
you can tell a lot about a woman’s mood just by her hands. For example, if she’s holding a gun, she’s probably angry.
If a man drove over a woman, whose fault was it? The man, because he shouldn’t be driving in the kitchen.
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