What is easier to pick up the heavier it gets? Women.
One day I told my wife that she drew her I brows too high, She looked surprised.
A programmer and his wife. She says, “We’re out of bread. Please go the grocery store and buy one. And if they’ve got eggs, get six.” After a while, he’s back with six loaves of bread. The wife asks, “Why did you buy 6 loaves of bread?” He replies, “They had eggs.”
Tell someone to look in their shirt and spell attic hehe
I lost my job at the bank on my very first day. – A woman asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her over.
I see some objects over there… oh never mind, that’s a woman.
3 men walk into heaven at the same time. they all live in the same city. god asks the first man “how did you die?” the man says “I have a heart condition and iv’e been suspecting my wife of cheating for some time. anyway I get how from work and I see my wife on the bed and a man hang of the balcony. I get so mad and stomp on the guys fingers! he falls into a bush so I throw a refrigerator on him.” God asks the next man “how did you die?” the man says I was cleaning the windows and then this crazy man starts stomping on my fingers! luckily I fall safely in a bush! but then a refrigerator falls on me! " god asks the third man he says" I was the one in the fridge!"
An American woman married a British man. On their honeymoon, the British husband said, ?You look like a million pounds!? The wife divorced him.
Why do orphans make the best girlfriends? Because They don’t need permission from their Parents
Do you know what’s the difference between a knife and a girl’s argument A knife has a point
i thought my wife was joking when she said she was gunna leave me because i wouldn’t stop singing “im a believer” but then i saw her face
Wife: “I look fat. Can you give me a compliment?” Husband: “You have perfect eyesight.”
20 years of sex in the dark the wife find out he was using a dildo the wife get angry and says ?explain the dildo prick? the husband says ?explain the children bitch
My girlfriend got ran over by a bus I lost my job as a bus driver.
What’s the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb You can unscrew a light bulg
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