Woman jokes

I asked a poor old woman if I could take her home. She smiled and said yes. However the expression on her face soon changed when I started walking away with her cardboard box.

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My ex girlfriend got hit by a bus. I also lost my bus drivers licence.

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My girlfriend accused me of cheating. I told her she was starting to sound like my wife.

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After my wife died, I couldn’t even look at another woman for 10 years. But now that I’m out of jail, I can honestly say it was worth it!

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A wife and husband was setting up their computer and the husband makes the password my dick, but the wife fell on the floor laughing because the computer said the password was too short.

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Vagina jokes aren’t funny. Moist of the time.

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My wife is like a mirror I can never look at it

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My girlfriend tried to make me have sex on the hood of her Honda Civic. – But if I’m going to have sex, it’s going to be on my own Accord.

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I see some objects over there… oh never mind, that’s a woman.

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Tell someone to look in their shirt and spell attic hehe

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FIRST DATE man: i work with animals every day woman: oh how sweet! what is it that you do? man: im a butcher…

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You can tell a lot about a woman from her ankles. – If they are on your shoulders, she probably likes you.

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What do you do if your girlfriend starts smoking? Stop and apply lubrication.

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The doctor says “your wife is PREGNENT” the man says that he used a condom and the doctor says "ya but I didn’t

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A doctor tells a woman she can no longer touch anything alcoholic. So she gets a divorce.

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