At the resturant, the waitress starts flirting with me. “She must have COVID,” my wife said. “Why?” I asked. “Cuz she clearly has no taste.” She responded.
so a man was on a ledge ready to kill himself because he got laid off at work and his girlfriend cheated on him he was about to jump until he saw from a mountain side a little guy with no arms dancing around so he thought maybe my life aint so bad so he went to the mountain side thank you he said i was gonna jump off a bridge and kill myself until i saw you dancing even though youu have no arms dancing? the armless man said bitterly my asshole itches and i cant scratch it
I nailed my Jewish girlfriend so hard she turned Christian.
So I caught my girlfriend masturbating with a carrot. My first reaction was “Shit, I was gonna eat that later, but now it’s gonna taste like carrots!”
Tell someone to look in their shirt and spell attic hehe
Why do women rub their eyes in the morning? Because they don’t have balls.
What do the twin towers and my ex-girlfriend have in common? They both went down on my dad.
I have just started a sexual relationship with a blind woman. It’s very rewarding, but quite challenging. – Took me ages to get her husband’s voice right.
I see some objects over there… oh never mind, that’s a woman.
My girlfriend called me a bot in fortnite, so I called her sandwich maker 3000
its only ok to beat up an dwarf when they walk up to your wife and say your hair smells nice I saw my wife at the dam yesterday. Drat. I was hoping she might float a bit more downstream.
Jon said:What do you call a pregnant woman? Mike said: I don’t know what? Jon said: kinder surprise
how did Stephan hawking please his woman he uses a hard drive.
My wife asked me to help cure her from sucking her thumb. So I drew a cock on it.
rmm
RUS | ENG
