When I was a kid I used to read a lot. I mainly grew up reading stories by Shakespeare, especially the story Romeo & Juliet. That one in particular taught me a valuable life lesson. It taught me to not be surprised when my girlfriend killed herself.
I have a girlfriend.
My girlfriend told me the dishwasher was leaking so I brought home some tampons
A wife asked her husband why he cheated on her. His reply was “she was just lying there naked on the table, what was I supposed to do?” The wife reply’s “perform the f@cking autopsy!”
My wife is like a mirror I can never look at it
Once an orphan got a girlfriend. He regreted it. She left him too.
My ex-wife still misses me… BUT HER AIM IS GETTIN BETTER!
I lost my job at the bank on my very first day. – A woman asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her over.
Only one of Kenny’s girlfriends has ever said he’s good in bed. But she has to. She’s his mom.
At the funeral of a family friend, I was chatting to June, an elderly lady I hadn’t seen since I was a teenager. I was thrilled when she told me what a beautiful young woman I’d become. On the journey home, I remarked to my mother how lovely it had been to see June again. “Yes, it’s such a shame that she’s gone blind,” she said sadly.
My girlfriend called me a bot in fortnite, so I called her sandwich maker 3000
Have u ever noticed When a woman is pregnant aII her friends touch her stomach and say “congrats” but none of them touch the man’s penis and say “weII done”
Why did the astronaut break up with his girlfriend? - Because he needed some space.
Why are we depressed, is it because that bully in your school, or that you have acne, how about when you listen to you sad song playlist, maybe cause you have no friends, Or is it the fact your anime girlfriend is fake. T^T
Vagina jokes aren’t funny. Moist of the time.
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