I broke up with my deaf girlfriend because she never listened to me.
Once an orphan got a girlfriend. He regreted it. She left him too.
how did Stephan hawking please his woman he uses a hard drive.
little johnny was siting in class one day and the teacher was talking about life and ask him " little johnny how do you want your wife to be like" and he answered " like the moon" and the teacher said " that’s such a beautiful answer because it calm and peaceful " and little htm title=' appears at night and disappears in the morning'>johnny said " no because it appears at night and disappears in the morning"
Fishing and girlfriends are exactly alike, there may be plenty of fish in the sea, but until i find one, i’m stuck here holding my rod
If a man drove over a woman, whose fault was it? The man, because he shouldn’t be driving in the kitchen.
You can tell a lot about a woman from her ankles. – If they are on your shoulders, she probably likes you.
My wife asked me to help cure her from sucking her thumb. So I drew a cock on it.
A man boards a plane with six children of various ages. After the plane takes off, a woman sitting sitting behind the man asks him, “are all of them yours?” “No,” the man responds. “I work for a condom company and these are some of the customer complaints.”
What do you call a woman with one arm and one leg? Eileen
How do you know when you girlfriend is to young ? you have to make airoplane noises to get her to open her mouth… sorry
A blind woman tells her boyfriend that she’s seeing someone. It’s either really terrible news or really great news.
Three men are outside Heaven’s gates waiting to be go to through Heaven. The angel at the gate tells them “Depending on the length of time and your faithfulness to your last partner decides your way across the bridge to Heaven”. The first guy says “I was with my wife for 5 years and cheated 3 times”. The angel gives him an old model pick up, the second guy says “11 years and only once” and is granted a Mercedes. The last man says “20 years and not once , I loved her with all my heart” and with the angel impressed he gets a gold edition Lamborghini and sets off ahead of the other two men. Hours later the two men catch up to him crying behind the wheel and one says " I know we are dead but it could be much worse". The guy looks up and says “How! I just went past my wife on a skateboard”
My ex-wife still misses me. But her aim is steadily improving.
What is similar about a dog and a woman? You can ask them to come
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