Women are like dogs… “Where are you going? Where are you going? Where are you going?” “Can I come? Can I come? Can I come? ” “I’ll wait right here… I’ll wait right here… I’ll wait right here…” SHOES
I said to my pregnant wife push darling , come on push harder dear , no she wasn’t giving birth the bloody car would not start .
If I had a dollar for every girl that found me unattractive, they would eventually find me attractive.
Hey what is the difference between a painting and a wife? Only the wife was hung up
A lot of things have changed since I got my girlfriend pregnant. My name, my address and my phone number.
My girlfriends last words I can’t wait to become a mom
Morbid jokes are just like girlfriends. not everyone gets it
Roast: What is the difference between your girlfriend and a walrus? One is hairy and smells like fish and the other is a walrus. Your welcome
"I’d rather go through the pain of childbirth again than let you drill in my mouth,"the woman told her dentist. He replied, “Well, please make up your mind so I can adjust my chair.”
A woman comes to the doctors an says ‘doctor, I think I have cancer’ the doctor checks it out ‘it’s all in your head’ the doctor says ‘phew’ said the woman, ‘a bunch of tumors, all in your head’
I know a woman who owns a taser. – She’s stunning!
Why couldn’t the lizard get a girlfriend? Because he had a reptile dysfunction!
Woman one: I got so mad at my GPS today that I told it to go to hell! Woman two: Did that work? Woman one: Well, it took me to my in-laws’ house.
I was watching my daughter play at the park, a woman came up to me and asked which one was mine, I said I was still choosing.
Wife: "How would you describe me?" Husband: "ABCDEFGHIJK." Wife: "What does that mean?" Husband: "Adorable (A), beautiful (B), cute ©, delightful (D), elegant (E), fashionable (F), gorgeous (G), and hot (H). " Wife: "Aw, thank you, but what about IJK?" Husband: “I’m just kidding!”
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