My girlfriend broke up with me because I stole her wheelchair. But I knew she’d come crawling back to me.
My girlfriend told me the dishwasher was leaking so I brought home some tampons
I took my girlfriend out the other day… Man do I love being a sniper.
Since it started raining, all my wife has done is look sadly through the stupid window… If it gets any worse, I’ll have to let her in.
nearly 40% of the world have been in a relationship; the 60% are worstjokesever.com users
my wife said if I don’t get of the computer shes gonna slam my head in to the keyboard but I think I’ll ajlkfsdhnvkwr;anhf My wife left me for an Indian guy. – I know he’s going to treat her well, I heard they worship cows.
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i cought my girlfriend cheating on me, with our dad.
FIRST DATE man: i work with animals every day woman: oh how sweet! what is it that you do? man: im a butcher…
what do you get when you play a country song backwards? you get your wife, your house, and your kids back
My girlfriend broke up with me. She said I was a pedophile. I told her, “PEDOPHILE? Wow, that sure is a big word for an eight-year-old!”
What’s the difference between kinky and perverted? Kinky is when you tickle your girlfriend with a feather, perverted is when you use the whole bird.
one day a couple was walking when the man stepped on something hard and squishy then they heard a sound from the bushes, instead of looking down they both ran. two years later they turned on the TV to find Ted Bundy on trial they asked him if he has ever been caught he said “No but a couple was walking as soon as i killed a girl i jumped into a bush they didnt know i was there but the man stepped on the dead body but didn’t look down then he and his girlfriend ran.”
I’ve been looking for my ex girlfriend’s killer for the past two years. But no one would do it.
My girlfriend told me she was leaving me because I keep pretending to be a Transformer. I said, “No, wait! I can change.”
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