Woman jokes

how do you know when your wife is cheating on you? she comes home with sparkles on her face

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

Wife:Honey im pregnant Husband:Hi Pregnant im dad Wife:No you’re not

-2 -1 0 +1 +2

Me: Are you okay? Dentist: I’m just a bit surprised. When I said to you “spit it out” I wasn’t expecting you to say you’ve been shagging my wife.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

So I caught my girlfriend masturbating with a carrot. My first reaction was “Shit, I was gonna eat that later, but now it’s gonna taste like carrots!”

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

I was watching my daughter play at the park, a woman came up to me and asked which one was mine, I said I was still choosing.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

my girlfriend asked me if we could have anal sex and I said what’s that, she said I f@ck her ass, I said oh my uncle calls that shhhhh

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

What’s the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb You can’t unscrew a pregnant woman What’s a similarity between a broken lightbulb, and a pregnant woman They’re both accidents

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

Woman one: I got so mad at my GPS today that I told it to go to hell! Woman two: Did that work? Woman one: Well, it took me to my in-laws’ house.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2

Flippity floppity women are property

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

Tell a woman she’s beautiful a hundred times and she won’t believe you. Tell a woman she’s fat once and she will remember it for the rest of her life because elephants never forget.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

A woman noticed her husband standing on a bathroom scale, sucking in his stomach. “Ha! Thats not going to help! ” She said. “Sure it does.” he said. “Its the only way i can see the numbers.”

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

One day a guy named Carson is called a jerk and he says "I went to a party with my girlfriend and this random guy walks up to us and says can I borrow your girlfriend for a 30 minutes I say yes and he takes her up stairs. It was not only 30 minutes but a hour. When she came back down she was out of breath so I knew it was a pretty intense conversation.this happens about 3 more times that night. But as I was saying only a nice guy would let his girlfriend make friends with other guys ????

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

what is the diffrence between a snow woman and a snowman? Snowballs

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

An invisible man marries an invisible woman. The kids were nothing to look at either.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

what do you get when you play a country song backwards? you get your wife, your house, and your kids back

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *
- up - << N E X T! >> random

© àíåêäîòîâ.net, 1997 - 2025