Nut jokes

A pirate walks into a bar and has a ship’s wheel in his pants. The bartender asks, “What’s with the wheel in your pants?” The pirate replies, “Yarrr! It’s drivin’ me nuts!”

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What’s brown and sticky?

A stick.

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A girl asked?can i have some nuts too?? boy:?sure what ones;)?

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What did one nut say to the other? Ignore the guy in the middle. He’s a d!ck.

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Do you know wildee?

What’s that?

Willdeeznuts fit into your mouth

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What did the squirrel say to the dog?

There are nuts in your poop. I found them.

:(

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You know bofa? bofa deez nuts

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If you are what you eat, does that mean all squirrels are nuts?

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I bought a guh on the weekend. (whats a guh?) a GUHZZLE DEEZ NUTS!??????

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You heard that Michael Jackson autopsy reports showed he died of food poisoning? It’s because he ate some 8 year old nuts.

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What do u call a nut in jail: a busted nut

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Are you a walnut because I’m about to nut all over your walls!

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I tried to come up with a funny pun about squirrels, but all my ideas were nuts

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What do u call a 3 sum with a girl with aids?

Nut in the butt

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Do you like wendys? when deez nutz are in your mouth

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