Woman jokes

Why did the Chinese woman hang up?

Because she Wang the Wong number

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

Little Jonny just came back from quarantine with his girlfriend Sally. They both said they had to go to the bathroom. When they came back Sally was coughing up a storm. The teacher said you need to be quarantined again. No sally said I was just in the bathroom choking on something that grown-ups especially women like. Then the teacher faints.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2

One night, I saw a woman sitting behind a dumpster. So I took her home. We talked all the way there. When we got home, I gave her a bath. Later on, things started getting passionate. We started doing intercourse, and some of the noises she made you would have thought she was still alive!



-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

Last halloween i went dressed as a woman. When i rang the doorbell an elderly woman opened and i made grunting noise and knocked the bowl of candy out of her hands. She immediately called the police and told them excactly what happened. The officer pulled me aside and asked me a few questions. First he asked are your parents here and i said nothing. Concerned by my answer he then asked if i was ok so i said nothing. He asked me what my name and i responded, "Hellen Keller.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

The Coach of the Detroit Lions had put together the perfect football team. But then his quarterback got blindsided and was out for the season with a knee injury.

Then his backup went down with a concussion. He tried the trading route, free agents, but nobody any good was available.

One evening while watching the news from Iraq, he saw a young Iraqi

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

An American woman married a British man. On their honeymoon, the British husband said,?You look like a million pounds!? The wife divorced him.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

Me at the Oscars when i see Jada Pinkett Smith, me, I said: “G.I. Jane 2, more like G.I Jada 2, can’t wait to see it”

So will smith is laughing and then suddenly, Suddenly Will Smith walks up to me and punches me in the face

Me: "Ow, oh, wow. Will Smith just smacked the shit out of me.” My nigcka Smith goes: “KEEP MY WIFE’S NAME OUT OF YOUR f@ckING MOUTH! ” Me: “Maybe you should focus on keeping her friends out of hers”

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

A Blonde woman was speeding down the road in her little red sports car and was pulled over by a woman police officer, who was also a blonde.

The Blonde Cop asked to see the blonde driver’s license. She dug through her purse and was getting progressively more agitated.

‘What does it look like?’ she finally asked. The policewoman replied, ‘It’s square and it has you picture on it.’

The driver finally found a square mirror in her purse, looked at it and handed it to the policewoman. ‘Here it is,’ she said.

The Blonde officer looked at the mirror, then handed it back saying, “OK, you can go. I didn’t realize you were a cop…”

-2 -1 0 +1 +2

If a woman sleeps with 10 men she’s a slut, but if a man does it… He’s gay, definitely gay.

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

A young blonde woman fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself. The hysterical blonde tells her husband: “Shut up … you’re next!”

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

Wife: “I look fat. Can you give me a compliment?” Husband: “You have perfect eyesight.”

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

What do you call a woman with one arm and one leg? Eileen

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

How do you know when your wife is cheating on you?

She comes home with sparkles on her face

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

Fishing and girlfriends are exactly alike, there may be plenty of fish in the sea, but until i find one, i’m stuck here holding my rod

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *

Man: "Is your body from Mcdonalds?" Woman: "Why, because your loving it?" Man: “No, because its fat and greasy.”

:D

-2 -1 0 +1 +2
* * *
- up - << N E X T! >> random

© àíåêäîòîâ.net, 1997 - 2024