A man walks into a bar. Sits down and asks the bartender for 12 shots of vodka. The bartender asks what the man is celebrating for and said he’ll give one shot on the house. The man said I celebrating my first blowjob. And nah if 12 shots doesn’t get the taste out of my mouth nothing will.
An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar. The first one orders a beer. The second orders half a beer. The third orders a third of a beer. The bartender bellows, “Get the hell out of here, are you trying to ruin me?”
Little johnny is a trucker, he stops at a bar. johnny sees a sign that says hamburgers for two dollers, cheeseburger for three dollars, handjob for ten dollars. he walks up to the bartender and whispers to her, “are you the one that gives the handjobs for ten dollars?” she replies “yes, thats me” johnny says “well can you wash your hands because i want a cheeseburger”
A priest, a rabbi and a minister walk into a bar. The bartender looks at them and says, “What is this – a joke?”
A man walks into a bar and orders three shots. “Long day?” the bartender asks. “Well… My oldest son just came out…” The man finishes the shots and leaves the bar. The next day, the man comes back and orders four shots. “What now?” the bartender asks. “My middle son just came out.” The man finishes his drinks and leaves. He comes back the next day and orders five shots. “Again?” the bartender asks. “Yeah. My youngest son.” He drinks his shots and leaves. The next day, he comes in again. This time, he orders ten shots. “My God! Is there anyone in your family that likes girls? ?” the bartender asks. “Yeah… My wife.”
%% %%A man with a mullet walks into a bar The bartender says “The party’s in the back”
A piece of toast and a hard boiled egg walked into a bar. The bartender says, “Sorry, we don’t serve breakfast here.”
A TWELVE VOLT BATTERY walks into a tavern and orders a drink.The bartender serves him , and comments now don’t start anything .
An American and an Asian walk into a bar. What are your names the bartender asks. The American says William Matthews. The Asian says Same Ting
Two kids walked into a bar, they were covered with blood. the bartender asked what happened. The youngest said “Well, we we’re trying to paint our basement but we threw the babies too hard”.
Steven hawking walks into a bar, the bartender says… WAITTTT WHATTT
A Roman walks into a bar and orders a martinus,the bartender says "Don’t you mean a Martini?"the Roman then says "Look,if I want a double I’ll ask for one.
a man walks into a bar, and notices a steak hanging from the ceiling. when he asks the bartender about it, the bartender says “If you can jump up and hit it, drinks are on the house for the night, but if you miss, everyone’s drinks are on your tab for the next two hours. Do you want to try? ” the man decided not to take the risk. he thought the steaks where too high.
My favorite bartender serves drinks so strong, he gives a “get well soon” card with each one of them!
An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar. The first one orders a beer. The second one orders half a beer. The third one orders a fourth of a beer. The bartender stops them, pours two beers and says, “You guys should know your limits.”
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