A proud new dad sits down with his own father. His father says, “Son,you now have a child of your own, so I think it’s time I gave you this.” And so, he pulls out a book: 1001 Dad Jokes. The young man says, “Dad, I’m honored, ” as tears well up in his eyes. His father says, “Hi, Honoured, I’m Dad.”
What did the the drummer call his twin daughters? Anna one, Anna two!
Me and my friend went to the park, after a while we grabbed our little princess and said “it’s time to go sweetie” but before we could go someone said “stop them they have my daughter!”
In life it’s either Yeet or get beat and I clearly failed yeeting as a child as my dad beat me
why do orphans eat cereal with water? because their dad never came home with the milk
Q: What did the drunk emo say to the bartender? A: Nothing! He was hung over. My sister thinks shes so smart, shes said onions are the only food that makes you cry So I threw a coconut at her
roses are red violets are violets my dad died in 9/11 and he was a good piolet
My sisters name is coco and one day she was funny so I told her you Coconut
What did Luke Skywalker say when he saw someone bullying his sister? You better not Leia finger on her!
A cat gets its tail run over, and it’s mother assured him it’ll be okay. “You just have to stay PAW-sitive!” The mother was later killed in her sleep because her son hates puns. At the funeral, one of her daughters said, “You have CAT to be KITTEN me right MEOW!” Guess who dies next.
what do you call a bear without teeth? A gummy bear hahaha
How do you know your sister is on her period? Your dad’s c–k tastes like s–t!
Johnny is very attached to his parents, he asks to take a shower with her when she gets in. He looks down and asks "whats that?"The mother replies "that’s my garage" he looks up and asks what are those? The mother responds “those are my headlights.” He then goes and takes a shower with his dad. He looks down “daddy whats that?” The dad replies “that’s my car.” He goes to sleep that night and wakes up because of a bad dream. He goes and tell his mother and she says “you can lay with me.” He falls fast asleep then wakes up once more because of falling off the bed he gets back up and gets under the covers. Then he feels the bed moving he looks under the covers to investigate and see’s them going at it he then yells “mommy turn on you’re headlights daddy’s parking his car in you’re garage!” THUD
I was thinking of a good accident joke and I asked my sister, she said you
What did one cell say to his sister when she stepped on his toe? Mitosis!
RUS | ENG
