Little Johhny is walking around and peaks in his parents room, catching them having sex so he asks, “What are you guys doing?” and they reply “Nothing, nothing! we’re just uh, making cake” and they send him away. So he continues walking around and he hears some strange noises coming from his brothers room so he walks in and catches his brother and his brothers girlfriend having sex and then asks him “What are you guys doing?” and his brother yells “Get out! were making cake!” So Johnny leaves and goes to his room. The next day the whole family is at the dinner table and Little Johnny turns to his sister and says “So, you and your boyfriend were making cake last night huh!” and she replies “OMG! Howd you know! ?!?” and Johnny replies “Because, I licked the icing off the couch” ayyyyyy.
When you ask your sister if she wanna smash, but then she grabs the switch.
Daughter: So, I got my period. Mom: That’s wonderful, dear! Now you can bleed for a whole week a month without dying! Daughter: That’s nice, Mum, but isn’t the whole point of getting your period dying? Mom: Yes, but you have to kill yourself a little longer to live through to the another day. Daughter: Thanks, Mum. That makes a whole lot of sense. (Sarcastically) Mom: You’re welcome, honey. (Clueless. Obviously.)
My dad died when we couldn’t remember his blood type. As he died, he kept insisting for us to “be positive,” but it’s hard without him.
Me and my friend went to the park, after a while we grabbed our little princess and said “it’s time to go sweetie” but before we could go someone said “stop them they have my daughter!”
I was thinking of a good accident joke and I asked my sister, she said you
I never wanted to believe that my Dad was stealing from his job as a road worker. But when I got home, all the signs were there.
What did the the drummer call his twin daughters? Anna one, Anna two!
So a daughter asks her father “dad what is you opinion on abortions?” So her father says why don’t you ask your sister. The daughter responds “but I don’t have a sister… Oh”
I told my sister I was into incest. She took it really hard. ????
My dad is like my depression you need a suicide letter to find him
Q:Why did the father through butter out the window?A:he wanted to see a butterfly
dark humor is like a dad not everyone gets it
Funny thing happened today, my dad came home from work which is weird cause he’s a suicide bomber.
Son: Dad? Why is mommy no longer with us? Dad: Why did the chicken cross the road? Son:why? Dad: To get to the other side but your mother only made it about halfway
RUS | ENG
