Paint jokes

I asked my dad, Why did you paint rabbits on your bald head? He replied, Because I thought it would look like hares

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A guy meets a sex worker in a bar. She says, ‘This is your lucky night. I’ve got a special game for you. I’ll do absolutely anything you want for?300 as long as you can say it in three words.’ The guy replies, ‘Hey, why not?’ He pulls his wallet out of his pocket and lays? 300 on the bar, and says slowly. ‘Paint…my….house.’

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I painted my dad white so he wouldn’t leave

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What did the house painter ask when he went to the abortion clinic? Where do you keep the cans of paint?

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What was one cool thing about hitler

He used to paint his thoughts on the wall with a gun

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What’s the difference between school and prison. One is painted

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall?

Depends how hard you throw them

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What is blue but smells like red paint?

Blue paint

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How do you confuse a blonde? paint yourself green and throw forks at her

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You’re so fat you probably apply sunscreen with a paint roller

What’s the difference between Jesus and a painting of Jesus?

A painting only takes one nail to be hanged.

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How many babies do you need to paint a wall?

Depends on how hard you throw them.

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I will never forget my little brothers last word rip.

His last words: paint dosent taste good

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The saddest painting you will see is a mirror.

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As I’m lying down on the table for a radiation treatment, a small angel lands on one shoulder, a tiny devil on the other shoulder. And then the mind game begins:

Angel: This won’t last long. You are perfectly lined up. The treatment only lasts a few mins. Remember, stay absolutely still.

Devil: Did she just twitch?

A: No. She didn’t twitch.

D:

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How fast did Little Sally paint the barn red? As soon as the bomb exploded on her.

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