Green jokes

What’s a green cucumber……. A carrot

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what is green and looks like a school bus a school bus

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I found alien in my backyard I put him to work. He went to farm never seen him again moments later he is on daily planet acting as reporter a green rock smashed my house. I called him back he passed out. I remarked you lazy

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Things said by racist aliens: “Some of my best friends are Green.” “I just know that Orange guy stole my spaceship.” “You’re very pretty for a Purple girl.” “We know you Tentacletians like to rape everyone with your tentacles!” “Adax Hitao should have finished off you Bluish people.” “You 2-headed people are so stupid!” “No Slimatians are allowed in this restaurant because of health codes.” “Get the hell out of my store you grigger!” “The Plu Plux Plum meeting is tonight! Let’s burn some spaceships on the Greenies’ lawns!”

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Kid sees their grandma taking pills and asks… “Grandma, why do you need to take all those pills?” “Well, Grandma needs to take the green medicine for her headaches, but the green pills give her diarrhea. So grandma needs to take the yellow pills for diarrhea but those pills always make grandma very depressed. Because of her depression, grandma needs to take the black pills, but those always give her high blood pressure. To cure the high blood pressure, grandma has to take the red pills, but those make her always very horny. That’s why grandpa has to take the blue pills.”

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What is blue, green, flat and has teeth. The earth but I lied about the teeth

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What happen when someone shot the Hulk? He got gangryeen. Gangrene+green+angry

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this joke is so funny I’ll bet you greened (grined)

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What is the difference between a climate change and the green house effect once a philosopher twice a sodomite

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What has ten children crying, naked and screaming for their parents My big green pedo machine

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what turns green to red in a flick of a switch?A frog in a blender.

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Person A:Hey,what’s the next subject? Person B:Let me check. Person B:It’s greenglish!

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What did the green grape say to the purple grape? Breathe… Breathe…

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What is Green and red and goes round and round? A frog in a blender (this next one is pretty bad, and I don’t mean it, so don’t get offended) What’s the difference between a Mexican and a park bench? One can support an average family

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whats red green and slimy and slids down the chipshop window . abortion of chips

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