When Jim was playing on his phone, my grandfather told him, “You use way too much technology!”. Jim then said, “No, YOU use too much technology! ” and then Jim disconnected his grandfather’s life support.
Dont say your life is a joke because jokes got meaning.
What made me laugh?
The fact that my life is a joke: ")
Kid: what is the biggest mistake you made in your life. Parents: go look above the bathroom sink *kid goes and looks but then he reilises
My life is like a broken pencil, it’s pointless.
Chuck Norris has been to Mars…that’s why there is no signs of life there.
What makes a nuke and divorce the same?
It only takes one of each to end your life.
People say that life is short I say… Life is the longest thing we ever do
Despite Michael Jackson’s legal problems while we was alive, McDonald’s is still going to honor his life achievements in the music industry by naming a sandwich after him.
They’re going to call it the McMichael! It’s going to be a fifty year old piece of meat pressed between two eight year old buns.
Business Interview With Depression Inside my brain…
Me: So… You’re new?
Depression: (I don’t know who he is yet) mHMMMmmm!
Me: Well what are your skills?
Depression: Oh, taking control and leading… You know…
Me: What are you trying out for?
Depression: Oh, Vice Leader of Negative Thoughts.
Me: Well we do need someone over there- for somewhat reason nobody wanted that job…
Me: How did you know about us?
Depression: Oh- I knew because of Anxiety, you know, we’re friends!
Me: Interesting… (Still has no idea about Anxiety and it’s problemos)
Me: Well I think you’re signed up! I’ll give you the job! Depression: tHaNKS:) AND THATS HOW MY LIFE GOT DESTROYED:]
Depression: tHaNKS:)
AND THATS HOW MY LIFE GOT DESTROYED:]
My life is a lot like a game of Black Jack
I always hit on 16, the get busted
A cow went into a pride of lion’s territory?
Since that moment he knew his life was on stake
I asked my mum why she’s depressed, she said her life has been a wreck? I asked how long has it been, she then asked when I was born
Whats sad and has no life. the person reding this
A penis has a sad life. His hair is a mess. His family is nuts. His neighbor is an asshole. His best friend is a pussy. And his owner beats him.
Define abnormal life.
Waking up everyday living a sane life!
I liked my life when I first got it…later they said no because I didn’t have the receipt.
RUS | ENG
