Fight jokes

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Mom says : I will go kill myself Me : stays quite cuz knows better than to talk also me internally eyerolls Some time later me fighting with my mom Me to my mom : OH YEA THAN KILL ME Mom : What the hell did you just say I don’t want to hear it from u again Lesson? SO ITS OK FOR ADULTS TO SAY I’LL KILL MYSELF BUT NOT TEENS/KIDS!?!?! If a woman gets raped, just walk away, don’t bother. Cheer on the rapist if you want. They believe they are equal to men right? So they are able to fight back right? Then prove it! My EQUALITEHHHHHHHH

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So Jesus has been nailed to the cross. On the first day, he starts to moan, “Peter, Peter”. Well, Peter hears Jesus moaning and feels it is important, so begins to go up the hill. On his way, he is met by some Roman soldiers and they proceed to beat his ass back down the hill. On the second day, Peter hears Jesus moaning again, “Peter, Peter”. Peter thinks to himself, this is important. He heads up the hill, fights past the first line, but gets a beatdown by the second group and back down the hill he goes. On the third day, Peter is woken up by Jesus sounding very weak, but calling out, “Peter, Peter”. Peter feels that whatever it is that Jesus needs him for, must be very important. Peter heads up the hill, he is on a mission. He manages to fight his way thru three sets of Roman guards and make his way to the cross Jesus has been nailed to for three days. He looks up to Jesus, and says “Jesus, I have heard your calls, what is so important”? Jesus- “Peter, I can see your house from here”.

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I was cooking eggs the other day. It was very EGGxiting, all though, I was EGGxaggerating, but, if you think that wasn’t funny to you, then your hard boiled, that’s all for today YOLKS, so I said before several cats starting fighting, that sht was a CATastrophe, these kittens were all like “You’ve gotta be KITTEN me.” Mean while, in the ocean, they just waved, SEA what I did there? You SHORE you didn’t? Oh, alright, that’s okay bud- I guess these ocean puns are too DEEP for you. No? Okay- but, you know why the skeleton was lonely, eh? Oh, cause he had NO BODY. Why didn’t the skeleton ask the girl out? He didn’t have the guts. What did the skeleton do to his gf? He BNED her. No? Alright. Those didn’t make you laugh? Maybe I should hit your funny bone. My dad and cancer go into a fight never saw my dad after that

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how do you get two deaf people from fighting? turn off the lights and walk out.

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Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts

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Things you never want to do in jail never piss off an inmate don’t start fights with the cops don’t drop the soap don’t run away from the cops

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how do you break up blind people in a fight? scream i put my money on the guy with the knife

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Why don’t midgets fight? They walk away to be the bigger man

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