I tried to sue the airport for misplacing my luggage. – I lost my case.
Why did the gym close down? – It just didn’t work out.
“Doctor, there’s a patient on line 1 that says he’s invisible” “Well, tell him I can’t see him right now.”
Claustrophobic people are more productive thinking out of the box.
A prisoner was told how he’ll be executed. Needless to say, he was shocked.
RIP boiling water. You will be mist. There was a guy who got his entire left side cut off. Don’t worry, he is all right now.
Why do bees have sticky hair They always use honeycombs
What do you call a nose without a body? – Nobody knows.
What is the best thing about living in Switzerland? – Well, the flag is a big plus.
You wanna know why I hate circles so much? They’re just so pointless! But I guess that’s how they roll
I accidentally drank a little food colouring last night. I ended up dying inside.
I got hit in the head with a can of soda yesterday. Luckily for me, it was a soft drink.
Why did the library book go to the doctor? – It needed to be checked out.
Q: What did the drunk emo say to the bartender? A: Nothing! He was hung over. My sister thinks shes so smart, shes said onions are the only food that makes you cry So I threw a coconut at her
New Teslas don’t come with a new car smell they come with an Elon Musk
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