Yesterday, a clown held the door open for me. It was such a nice jester! :D
If i’m the night guard at the Samsung store, does that make me a… guardian of the galaxy?
Did you hear about the man who was accidentally buried alive? – It was a grave mistake.
How do trees get online? – They just log in.
Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The ceremony wasn’t much, but the reception was excellent. There’s a movie about constipation. It hasn’t come out yet.
Why were the Middle Ages called the Dark Ages? Because there were too many knights.
When the chair was invented, the inventor’s friend wanted to know what it did. The inventor replied: ‘You might want to sit down for this.’
When a family friend passed away, my granddaughter took her three-year-old son to visit the widow. As they approached the front door, she whispered to the boy, “Make sure to tell her how sorry you are. ” He whispered back, “Why? I didn’t kill him.”
I was addicted to the hokey pokey… but thankfully, I turned myself around.
I went for a job interview today and the manager said, “We’re looking for someone who is responsible.” “Well, I’m your man.” I replied, “In my last job, whenever anything went wrong, they said I was responsible.”
I tried to sue the airport for misplacing my luggage. – I lost my case.
Why did the blind man fall down the well? He just couldn’t see that well.
A prisoner was told how he’ll be executed. Needless to say, he was shocked.
little johnny was siting in class one day and the teacher was talking about life and ask him " little johnny how do you want your wife to be like" and he answered " like the moon" and the teacher said " that’s such a beautiful answer because it calm and peaceful " and little htm title=' appears at night and disappears in the morning'>johnny said " no because it appears at night and disappears in the morning"
Claustrophobic people are more productive thinking out of the box.
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