Why were the Middle Ages called the Dark Ages? Because there were too many knights.
Why did the gym close down? – It just didn’t work out.
Why do cows have hooves instead of feet? – Because they lactose.
Why do bees have sticky hair They always use honeycombs
You know why I don’t buy Velcro items anymore? They are a total rip off.
I hate how funerals are always at 9 a.m. – I’m not really a mourning person.
RIP boiling water. You will be mist. There was a guy who got his entire left side cut off. Don’t worry, he is all right now.
Do you know how to make holy water? You boil the hell out of it.
I have a fear of speed bumps But i am slowly getting over it
My boyfriend just broke up with me for talking about video games too much. what a stupid thing to Fallout 4.
I named my dog 5-Miles so now I tell people I walk 5-Miles everyday
Did you hear about the man who was accidentally buried alive? – It was a grave mistake.
What is the best thing about living in Switzerland? – Well, the flag is a big plus.
I lost my job at the bank on my very first day. – A woman asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her over.
What do you call a girl with an hourglass figure? – A waist of time.
RUS | ENG
