I was addicted to the hokey pokey… but thankfully, I turned myself around.
Why did the blind man fall down the well?
He just couldn’t see that well.
I never wanted to believe that my Dad was stealing from his job as a road worker.
But when I got home, all the signs were there.
Little johnny was siting in class one day and the teacher was talking about life and ask him " little johnny how do you want your wife to be like" and he answered " like the moon" and the teacher said " that’s such a beautiful answer because it calm and peaceful " and little htm title=' appears at night and disappears in the morning'>johnny said " no because it appears at night and disappears in the morning"
I’ve never worn my gay sweater, it hasn’t come out of the closet yet
So what if I can’t spell Armageddon? It’s not the end of the world
I entered ten puns into a contest to see which one would win.
No pun in ten did
I accidentally drank a little food colouring last night. I ended up dying inside.
My poor knowledge of Greek mythology has always been my Achilles’ elbow.
What do you call a Russian tree?
Dimitree
I named my dog 5-Miles so now I tell people I walk 5-Miles everyday
If drinking alcohol makes you an alcoholic, does drinking fanta make you fantastic?
You wanna know why I hate circles so much? They’re just so pointless! But I guess that’s how they roll
Why do cows have hooves instead of feet? – Because they lactose.
I have many jokes about unemployed people, sadly none of them work.
RUS | ENG