Two artists had an art contest. – It ended in a draw.
Yesterday, a clown held the door open for me. It was such a nice jester! :D
What did the guy exclaim after inventing the shovel? It is ground breaking!
The past, the present, and the future walk into a bar… It was tense.
I lost my job at the bank on my very first day. – A woman asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her over.
I named my dog 5-Miles so now I tell people I walk 5-Miles everyday
“Doctor, there’s a patient on line 1 that says he’s invisible” “Well, tell him I can’t see him right now.”
Do you know how to make holy water? You boil the hell out of it.
I hate how funerals are always at 9 a.m. – I’m not really a mourning person.
If trees could kill you, they wood.
What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo? – One is really heavy, and the other is a little lighter.
How does a fish always know how much they weigh? – Because they have their own scales.
little johnny was siting in class one day and the teacher was talking about life and ask him " little johnny how do you want your wife to be like" and he answered " like the moon" and the teacher said " that’s such a beautiful answer because it calm and peaceful " and little htm title=' appears at night and disappears in the morning'>johnny said " no because it appears at night and disappears in the morning"
There was a kidnapping at school… Don?t worry, he woke up.
What do you call it when a midget waves at you? A microwave
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