A midget walks into a bar and asks for a beer, the bartender says no. The midget asks why, the bartender says “You’re a little drunk”
A blond a bernet and a red head walked into a bar the bartender told them their was a magic merror in the bathroom.He said that if you spoke the truth infront of the merror you would have your greatest desires but if you told a lie you would disappear .The red head sais that she was the pretiest girl in the bar and she walked out the bathroom and she got athusand dollars.The berrnet walked in and said she was the smartest one in the bar she walked out the ber with a new car. The bland went she said I think poof she was gone
A Weasle walks into a bar the bartender says “Wow I’ve never served a weasle before, what can I get you?” “Pop”, goes the weasle.
An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar. The first one orders a beer. The second one orders half a beer. The third one orders a fourth of a beer. The bartender stops them, pours two beers and says, “You guys should know your limits.”
A priest, a rabbi and a minister walk into a bar. The bartender looks at them and says, “What is this – a joke?”
Steven hawking walks into a bar, the bartender says… WAITTTT WHATTT
My favorite bartender serves drinks so strong, he gives a “get well soon” card with each one of them!
A nucleus walked into a bar, he asked the bartender, “How much for a drink?” The bartender replied, “For you, NO CHARGE!”
A nun walked into a bar with her clothes on inside out. The bartender asked her about it and she replied, “Its a bad habit”
A man walks into a bar and orders three shots. “Long day?” the bartender asks. “Well… My oldest son just came out…” The man finishes the shots and leaves the bar. The next day, the man comes back and orders four shots. “What now?” the bartender asks. “My middle son just came out.” The man finishes his drinks and leaves. He comes back the next day and orders five shots. “Again?” the bartender asks. “Yeah. My youngest son.” He drinks his shots and leaves. The next day, he comes in again. This time, he orders ten shots. “My God! Is there anyone in your family that likes girls? ?” the bartender asks. “Yeah… My wife.”
A block of gold walked into a bar, the bartender said ‘AU, get out!”
A lady walked into a bar and ordered their special drink, the bartender then gave her a brown glass full of milk, the lady complained about this but then the bartender said, “just shut up and swallow”
So the horse walks into a bar and the bartender says "Why the long face?" UwU
Two muffins are sitting in a bar. The first muffin says to the bartender, “I’ll have the usual”. The second one does not say anything to the bartender because muffins lack the vocal ability of humans and even with the proper anatomy capable of speech access, they would most certainly be entirely unable to comprehend the human language. In fact, the first muffin would indefinitely not be able to provide speech to the bartender. The muffins also lack the muscular structure to be capable of support themselves to being suspended also preventing their access to movement. Even with the human like structure, muffins lack brains which are an essential part to being able to send nerve contact within the legs to be able to move. Also with them lacking a brain structure entirely prevents them from speech. The anatomy simply prohibits the food items mentioned to be able to carry out any of the tasks required to get them to said bar and be able to speak. Thus making the situation untruthful and completely idiotic.
Little johnny is a trucker, he stops at a bar. johnny sees a sign that says hamburgers for two dollers, cheeseburger for three dollars, handjob for ten dollars. he walks up to the bartender and whispers to her, “are you the one that gives the handjobs for ten dollars?” she replies “yes, thats me” johnny says “well can you wash your hands because i want a cheeseburger”
RUS | ENG
