A TWELVE VOLT BATTERY walks into a tavern and orders a drink.The bartender serves him , and comments now don’t start anything .
A bartender says, “We don’t serve time travelers in here!” A time traveler walks into a bar.
An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar. The first one orders a beer. The second one orders half a beer. The third one orders a fourth of a beer. The bartender stops them, pours two beers and says, “You guys should know your limits.”
A blond a bernet and a red head walked into a bar the bartender told them their was a magic merror in the bathroom.He said that if you spoke the truth infront of the merror you would have your greatest desires but if you told a lie you would disappear .The red head sais that she was the pretiest girl in the bar and she walked out the bathroom and she got athusand dollars.The berrnet walked in and said she was the smartest one in the bar she walked out the ber with a new car. The bland went she said I think poof she was gone
A Pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel attached to his dick. The Bartender asks him why And the Pirate says: Argh, It’s driving me nuts.
A mushroom walked into a pub. He asked the bartender to give him a beer. The bartender said, "I can’t, you’ll get too rowdy. " The mushroom then said, “Oh come on! When I drink, I’m a fun guy!”
An American and an Asian walk into a bar. What are your names the bartender asks. The American says William Matthews. The Asian says Same Ting
A pirate walks into a bar and has a ship’s wheel in his pants. The bartender asks, “What’s with the wheel in your pants?” The pirate replies, “Yarrr! It’s drivin’ me nuts!”
So the horse walks into a bar and the bartender says "Why the long face?" UwU
A man walks into a bar and sees a jar of ten dollar bills so he asks the bartender if its a jar of tips. The bartender says no, its for a bet. So the man asks what the bet is and the bartender says, well if you put ten dollars into the jar then knock out the bouncer, next you go outside and remove a rotten tooth out of the rottweiler’s mouth, and last you go upstairs and give an orgasm to the fat lady who has never had one. If you can do all those things then you get everything in the jar as well as free drinks for the month. So the guy puts in ten dollars, turns to the guy next to him and knocks him out with one punch. Then the guy continues outside, all you hear for an hour is screaming and whining from the dog, when all is silent the man walks in and asks, so where is the fat lady with the tooth?
A lady walked into a bar and ordered their special drink, the bartender then gave her a brown glass full of milk, the lady complained about this but then the bartender said, “just shut up and swallow”
A hamburger walks into a bar. The bartender says, “I’m sorry. We don’t serve food here.”
An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar. The first one orders a beer. The second orders half a beer. The third orders a third of a beer. The bartender bellows, “Get the hell out of here, are you trying to ruin me?”
A Weasle walks into a bar the bartender says “Wow I’ve never served a weasle before, what can I get you?” “Pop”, goes the weasle.
A neutron walks into a bar and orders a drink. When the neutron gets his drink, he asks, “Bartender, how much do I owe you?” The bartender replies, “For you, neutron, no charge.”
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