Frozen

So i was laying in bed and jt winter do my room is aleays cold cause the heater doesnt work. And i was thinking… It would be warmer if someone else was laying here with me… Then i layghed cause who would wanna be with me. Hahaha

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Knock knock. Who’s there? Atch. Atch who? Sorry you are sneezing. Have you got a cold?

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Why don’t mountains catch colds? They wear snow caps.

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One time a kid came to the hospital and said “I really need help”, the kid said he was really hot so the put an ice cold towel on him. Then the doctor asked him if he had any problems and he said “yes I am really hot” and the doctor realized that he looked fine, so he said “are you sure, you look amazing” and the kid said that he ment to say I look hot!

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when is a cold not a cold?

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One dark stormy night when i was 8 years old I woke up in the middle of the night busting to pee, half asleep i walked down the stairs and toward the bathroom and heard a strange whirring sound that sounded like a ghost. When I opened the door i felt a strange cool breeze and the light came on automatically and the ghostly sound stopped, terrified I did what I had to and went back to bed. The next 3 nights the same thing happened and finally i decided i had to tell my mom no matter how hard to believe it sounded. The next night I woke up I went into my parents room and woke my mom up and said, “you have to come with me and see this it’s really important,” Half asleep she murmured, "oh what is it can’t it wait until the morning?’ I pleaded, “no you have to come see, our bathroom is haunted by a ghost when I go in the middle of the night I can hear a ghost sound then when i open the door I feel the cold as it swoops through me and the light comes on automatically. ” She yawned and said, “oh so that’s who’s been peeing in the refrigerator.”

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Window Problems A blonde texts her husband on a cold winter’s morning: "Windows frozen, won’t open." Husband texts back: "Gently pour some lukewarm water over it and gently tap edges with hammer. " Wife texts back 5 minutes later: "Computer really messed up now.”

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Why are hospitals always freezing? They need to keep the vegetables cold.

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Ice cold coffee? Coll beans!

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Why did the orphan jump into the burning building? It was to cold because they did not have a home.

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They call it the Cold War because Russia is cold in 2 ways. your forehead so big if you fell you would knock out your state cold

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Yoo mama so stupid she tried to stop the cold war with a heater

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One day a father went out for some cold beer and threw the 18 pack in the back seat on top of the infant in the car seat. Fortunately it was light beer.

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A Mexican bandit made a specialty of crossing the Rio Grande from time to time and robbing banks in Texas. The banks offered a reward for his capture, dead or alive, but offered a much larger award for the recovery of the stolen funds. An enterprising Texas Ranger decided to track him down. After a long and difficult search, he traced the bandit to

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A good bath is like a dead lover. You can enjoy them, that is until they get too cold. it’s so cold, i mist to bring my jacket

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