Why are colds such bad robbers? – Because they’re so easy to catch.
Two Trojan warriors were patrolling the streets of Troy at night. It was finally time for their duties to be relived. When they went back to their houses, one Trojan fell in a puddle. Nitrogen! The other called. And the other responded coldly, “Good nigh-“
Little Johnny is watching his mum rubbing cold cream on her face and he asks her “why are you rubbing that stuff on your face mother?” His mother replies “to make myself beautiful Johnny.” A few minutes later she starts rubbing the cream off with a tissue. Johnny says to her “What is the matter? Are you giving up?”
What’s cold, blue and makes women cry? Cot death.
Why did the cow jump over the moon? Because the farmer had cold hands!
One day a father went out for some cold beer and threw the 18 pack in the back seat on top of the infant in the car seat. Fortunately it was light beer.
when is a cold not a cold?
It was so cold out today believe it or not, I saw a politician with his hands in his own pockets!
Q: How can you spell cold with two letters? A: IC (icy) Q: What state is surrounded by the most water? A: Hawaii (this is really just a trick riddle) Q: David’s father had three
A man takes a boy into the woods boy says Boy: Mister I’m scared and it’s dark and cold The Man: How do you think I feel I’m walking out here alone
What cannibals call a person that is running? Fast Food
A blonde crashes a airplane Officer: could you please explain to me what happened? Woman: It got so cold in the plane I turned the fan off. Officer: face palms self Also officer: Here’s you sign
Orphan jokes protest Anonymous Orphan jokes are just funny so stop trying to ruin our fun! Comments: Gwen: Stop! It is not funny. Orphans are just out their cold, weak, and need someone! And the jokes are not funny! Shut up: Shut up! Liv: Gwen stop!! Gwen: SHUT UP BITCH!!!
Two Canadians die and end up in Hell. Satan decides to pay them a visit, so he walks into their room and sees them talking and laughing. Confused, he asks them why they’re happy. They tell him, “Well, we’re so sick of the cold where we’re from, and this place is nice and toasty.” Satan, annoyed, storms away and goes to Hell’s boiler room, where he turns up the temperature. He goes back to the Canadians’ room, along the way being begged by all sorts of people to put the heating back down. He enters the room to see the Canadians having a barbecue. Furiously, he asks them what they’re doing. “Well, we can’t pass up this wonderful weather without getting out the barbecue!” Satan realizes he’s been doing the wrong thing. He goes to the boiler room and turns it down until it’s at a colder temperature than ever seen on earth. He knows he’s won now, so he goes back to the Canadians’ room, only to see them jumping up and down in excitement. He shouts at them in fury, “WHY ARE YOU STILL HAPPY?!?!?!” They look at him and shout at the same time, “Hell froze over! That means the Leafs won! ” Why do hospitals have fans? To keep the vegetables fresh and cold.
When the cannibal was late for dinner, he got the cold shoulder.
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