Frozen

I picked up a document and I started to feel cold. I looked down at the document and it read DRAFT.

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SOn:hey dad im cold can you give me a lift from work Dad:Hi cold, Nice to meet you sorry i dont pick up strangers Son:I hate you

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Little Johnny is watching his mum rubbing cold cream on her face and he asks her “why are you rubbing that stuff on your face mother?” His mother replies “to make myself beautiful Johnny.” A few minutes later she starts rubbing the cream off with a tissue. Johnny says to her “What is the matter? Are you giving up?”

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Why did the cow jump over the moon? Because the farmer had cold hands!

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A poster for the winter relief fund reads: "No one should be allowed to go hungry or suffer from the cold." A worker says to his friend, “now were not even allowed to do that.”

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When the cannibal was late for dinner, he got the cold shoulder.

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Why are colds such bad robbers? – Because they’re so easy to catch.

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Why is it always cold in the hospital? to keep the vegetables fresh. Why was it cold in Stephen hawkings house? Because he had a new window open…

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Why are hospitals always freezing? They need to keep the vegetables cold.

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Why did the skeleton never get cold? Because it went right through him

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What cannibals call a person that is running? Fast Food

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Two Canadians die and end up in Hell. Satan decides to pay them a visit, so he walks into their room and sees them talking and laughing. Confused, he asks them why they’re happy. They tell him, “Well, we’re so sick of the cold where we’re from, and this place is nice and toasty.” Satan, annoyed, storms away and goes to Hell’s boiler room, where he turns up the temperature. He goes back to the Canadians’ room, along the way being begged by all sorts of people to put the heating back down. He enters the room to see the Canadians having a barbecue. Furiously, he asks them what they’re doing. “Well, we can’t pass up this wonderful weather without getting out the barbecue!” Satan realizes he’s been doing the wrong thing. He goes to the boiler room and turns it down until it’s at a colder temperature than ever seen on earth. He knows he’s won now, so he goes back to the Canadians’ room, only to see them jumping up and down in excitement. He shouts at them in fury, “WHY ARE YOU STILL HAPPY?!?!?!” They look at him and shout at the same time, “Hell froze over! That means the Leafs won! ” Why do hospitals have fans? To keep the vegetables fresh and cold.

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Yoo mama so stupid she tried to stop the cold war with a heater

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Q.Why do Skeletons hate the cold A. It sends chills up there spine

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Window Problems A blonde texts her husband on a cold winter’s morning: "Windows frozen, won’t open." Husband texts back: "Gently pour some lukewarm water over it and gently tap edges with hammer. " Wife texts back 5 minutes later: "Computer really messed up now.”

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