Frozen

Why are colds such bad robbers? – Because they’re so easy to catch.

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One dark stormy night when i was 8 years old I woke up in the middle of the night busting to pee, half asleep i walked down the stairs and toward the bathroom and heard a strange whirring sound that sounded like a ghost. When I opened the door i felt a strange cool breeze and the light came on automatically and the ghostly sound stopped, terrified I did what I had to and went back to bed. The next 3 nights the same thing happened and finally i decided i had to tell my mom no matter how hard to believe it sounded. The next night I woke up I went into my parents room and woke my mom up and said, “you have to come with me and see this it’s really important,” Half asleep she murmured, "oh what is it can’t it wait until the morning?’ I pleaded, “no you have to come see, our bathroom is haunted by a ghost when I go in the middle of the night I can hear a ghost sound then when i open the door I feel the cold as it swoops through me and the light comes on automatically. ” She yawned and said, “oh so that’s who’s been peeing in the refrigerator.”

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Texas be like its cold over here over here

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what do you do when you get locked outside your house… you talk to the lock. because communication is key.

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uranus is cold

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What did the man say after he slipped and fell on the ice. Nothing he just gave everyone the cold shoulder

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I love autumn ??

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They say the polar ice caps are melting, good because my wife’s a fat cold bitch.

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Why are hospitals always freezing? They need to keep the vegetables cold.

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What do you get when you cross a cold wind with a feather? A brrrrrrrr-d!

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Window Problems A blonde texts her husband on a cold winter’s morning: "Windows frozen, won’t open." Husband texts back: "Gently pour some lukewarm water over it and gently tap edges with hammer. " Wife texts back 5 minutes later: "Computer really messed up now.”

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Dark jokes are like Antarctica The’re cold

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What do you call a kid that’s cold and his name is war cold war

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Why did the orphan jump into the burning building? It was to cold because they did not have a home.

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There’s a man crawling through the desert. He’d decided to try his SUV in a little bit of cross-country travel, had great fun zooming over the badlands and through the sand, got lost, hit a big rock, and then he couldn’t get it started again. There were no cell phone towers anywhere near, so his cell phone was useless. He had no family, his parents

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