Frozen

They say the polar ice caps are melting, good because my wife’s a fat cold bitch.

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A Mexican bandit made a specialty of crossing the Rio Grande from time to time and robbing banks in Texas. The banks offered a reward for his capture, dead or alive, but offered a much larger award for the recovery of the stolen funds. An enterprising Texas Ranger decided to track him down. After a long and difficult search, he traced the bandit to

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A man takes a boy into the woods boy says Boy: Mister I’m scared and it’s dark and cold The Man: How do you think I feel I’m walking out here alone

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So my friend and I went camping at a Cold lake Campground and he jumped into it, without any warning, and so I asked him Wat-er you doing

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Why are hospitals always freezing? They need to keep the vegetables cold.

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When it’s cold outside men can cut ice in 3 places

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One day a father went out for some cold beer and threw the 18 pack in the back seat on top of the infant in the car seat. Fortunately it was light beer.

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I like my bread how I like my wife: cold and stiff

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Window Problems A blonde texts her husband on a cold winter’s morning: "Windows frozen, won’t open." Husband texts back: "Gently pour some lukewarm water over it and gently tap edges with hammer. " Wife texts back 5 minutes later: "Computer really messed up now.”

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Colder than the conversation between a fat guy and a Super Model…

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One dark stormy night when i was 8 years old I woke up in the middle of the night busting to pee, half asleep i walked down the stairs and toward the bathroom and heard a strange whirring sound that sounded like a ghost. When I opened the door i felt a strange cool breeze and the light came on automatically and the ghostly sound stopped, terrified I did what I had to and went back to bed. The next 3 nights the same thing happened and finally i decided i had to tell my mom no matter how hard to believe it sounded. The next night I woke up I went into my parents room and woke my mom up and said, “you have to come with me and see this it’s really important,” Half asleep she murmured, "oh what is it can’t it wait until the morning?’ I pleaded, “no you have to come see, our bathroom is haunted by a ghost when I go in the middle of the night I can hear a ghost sound then when i open the door I feel the cold as it swoops through me and the light comes on automatically. ” She yawned and said, “oh so that’s who’s been peeing in the refrigerator.”

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-Dude, What is your favorite rapper? -He is very cold blooded -Why? -He is Ice Cube

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One time a kid came to the hospital and said “I really need help”, the kid said he was really hot so the put an ice cold towel on him. Then the doctor asked him if he had any problems and he said “yes I am really hot” and the doctor realized that he looked fine, so he said “are you sure, you look amazing” and the kid said that he ment to say I look hot!

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Orphan jokes protest Anonymous Orphan jokes are just funny so stop trying to ruin our fun! Comments: Gwen: Stop! It is not funny. Orphans are just out their cold, weak, and need someone! And the jokes are not funny! Shut up: Shut up! Liv: Gwen stop!! Gwen: SHUT UP BITCH!!!

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