Computer jokes

Yo mama so stupid, that when she heard about cookies on the internet she ate her computer

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A computer is a HARDware device. How come someone still feels it is MicroSOFT

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Why did the computer go to the doctor ? Because it had a virus

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Why was the computer late to work? Because it had a hard drive!

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There was a car accident and the cops pull up to the crime seen to start asking people questions. The police started talking to a blonde lady and said what happened here she responded by saying a car crash. They then asked but how did it happen, she responded the cars crashed into each other. They finally said but why did it happen. The lady said oh i know where your going with this. It happened because when cars push on the gas peddle the car goes forward and they both pushed it so they both went forward and hit each other. One cop said never mind ma’m and they stared walking away. The blonde lady then said oh and officers my computer froze do you think i should put in the microwave or in the oven?

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my wife said if I don’t get of the computer shes gonna slam my head in to the keyboard but I think I’ll ajlkfsdhnvkwr;anhf

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I fell in love with my computer because it helps me Excel

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What part is usually missing in an orphan’s computer system? Motherboard.

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Why is Steven Hawkins arrested? The police used computer GPS

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Bill Gates teaches a kindergarten class to count to ten. “dos, 1, 2, 3, 3.1, 95, 98, ME, 2000, XP, Vista, 7, 8, 8.1, 10.”

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Why did Stephen Hawking not believe in God? Computers don’t really have a specific religion

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One apple a day keeps the doctor away, not logging onto servers using management or service accounts keeps SecOps people away.

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I started a band called 999 megabytes… we still haven’t gotten a gig

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My wife told me she’ll slam my head on the keyboard if I don’t get off the computer. I’m not too worried, I think she’s jokinlkjhfakljn m, .nbziyoao78yv87dfaoyuofaytdf…ftysrrtfgbjysou34w45pjr578v

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My wife told me she’ll slam my head on the keyboard if I don’t get off the computer. I’m not too worried, I think she’s jokinlkjhfakljn m,.nbziyoao78yv87dfaoyuofaytdf

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