Computer jokes

What’s a aliens favorite computer key? the space bar!

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Why don’t orphans work as computer repair technicians? Because they can’t find the motherboard

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Why was the computer so good at golf? because he had a hard drive if a dog made a computer it would have a mega bite

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What is the difference between an American and a computer? An American doesn’t have trouble shooting

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A man was walking down the street with a swivel chair under one arm, a computer under the other and a desk strapped to his back. A policeman ran over to him and handcuffed him, saying “I’m arresting you for impersonating an office, sir”

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I started a band called 999 megabytes… we still haven’t gotten a gig

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Why did Stephen Hawking not believe in God? Computers don’t really have a specific religion

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Window Problems A blonde texts her husband on a cold winter’s morning: "Windows frozen, won’t open." Husband texts back: "Gently pour some lukewarm water over it and gently tap edges with hammer. " Wife texts back 5 minutes later: "Computer really messed up now.”

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What’s the difference between an American and a computer? Americans don’t have trouble shooting

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Arnold Schwarzenegger was asked if he wanted to upgrade to Windows 10. He replied, “I still love Vista, baby”.

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What’s one thing orphans don’t have on their computer? A home page.

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What is the difference between a school bully and a feminist? The school bully does not hide behide there computer screen.

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Q: How did the mobile phone propose to his girlfriend? A: He gave her a ring. Q: What’s the most popular video game at the bread bakery? A: Knead for Speed. Q: Why is Santa good at karate? A: He has a black belt. Q: Where do werewolves buy Christmas gifts? A: Beast Buy. Q: What did the snowflake say to the road? A: Let’s stick together. Q: Why did the turkey

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When the C.I.A. raided Osama Bin Laden’s house, they found steam on his computer this means he was a gamer. He raged a little too hard and went for New York.

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why is stephen hawking an organ donator? because he saved 200 computers.

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