Computer jokes

If a computer was an apartment, the only passage would be the windows. It would have had doors but why was it ever spelt DOS

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Q:Whats the difference between a computer and an abortion clinic A: Ctrl+Alt+Delete

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There was a car accident and the cops pull up to the crime seen to start asking people questions. The police started talking to a blonde lady and said what happened here she responded by saying a car crash. They then asked but how did it happen, she responded the cars crashed into each other. They finally said but why did it happen. The lady said oh i know where your going with this. It happened because when cars push on the gas peddle the car goes forward and they both pushed it so they both went forward and hit each other. One cop said never mind ma’m and they stared walking away. The blonde lady then said oh and officers my computer froze do you think i should put in the microwave or in the oven?

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When the C.I.A. raided Osama Bin Laden’s house, they found steam on his computer this means he was a gamer. He raged a little too hard and went for New York.

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Bill Gates teaches a kindergarten class to count to ten. “1, 2, 3, 3.1, 95, 98, ME, 2000, XP, Vista, 7, 8, 10.”

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A computer science student is studying under a tree and another pulls up on a flashy new bike. The first student asks, “Where’d you get that?” The student on the bike replies, “While I was studying outside, a beautiful girl pulled up on her bike. She took off all her clothes and said, “You can have anything you want.”” The first student responds, “Good choice! Her clothes probably wouldn’t have fit you.”

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Why was the computer so good at golf? because he had a hard drive if a dog made a computer it would have a mega bite

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You make the juice go through my power brick.

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Why was the Computer late to work? Coz it had a hard drive… LMAO

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What did the HP say to a dell : Hello!

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The other day my Computer crashed. Luckily there were no injuries.

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What’s one thing orphans don’t have on their computer? A home page.

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Bill Gates teaches a kindergarten class to count to ten. “dos, 1, 2, 3, 3.1, 95, 98, ME, 2000, XP, Vista, 7, 8, 8.1, 10.”

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I was using my computer one time and I pressed Ctrl-Alt-Delete and Stephen Hawking went into a deep sleep

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One apple a day keeps the doctor away, not logging onto servers using management or service accounts keeps SecOps people away.

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