Computer jokes

A man walks into a library and says to the librarian, “Do you have that book for men with small penises?” The librarian looks on her computer and says, “I don’t know if it’s in yet.” “Yeah, that’s the one!”

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If a computer was an apartment, the only passage would be the windows. It would have had doors but why was it ever spelt DOS

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What’s the difference between an American and a computer? Americans don’t have trouble shooting

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Q: How did the mobile phone propose to his girlfriend? A: He gave her a ring. Q: What’s the most popular video game at the bread bakery? A: Knead for Speed. Q: Why is Santa good at karate? A: He has a black belt. Q: Where do werewolves buy Christmas gifts? A: Beast Buy. Q: What did the snowflake say to the road? A: Let’s stick together. Q: Why did the turkey

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My mom told me to get off the computer or she will slam my head into the keyboard. I dont thing shelsjkdvklserdhcvjskrldfjlbudrjkfhbverjksfbhvyuksejfvsuil.w35xfc.

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What was the computer’s best pickup line? Nice bits

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There was a car accident and the cops pull up to the crime seen to start asking people questions. The police started talking to a blonde lady and said what happened here she responded by saying a car crash. They then asked but how did it happen, she responded the cars crashed into each other. They finally said but why did it happen. The lady said oh i know where your going with this. It happened because when cars push on the gas peddle the car goes forward and they both pushed it so they both went forward and hit each other. One cop said never mind ma’m and they stared walking away. The blonde lady then said oh and officers my computer froze do you think i should put in the microwave or in the oven?

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How did the computer hackers get away from the scene of the crime? I think they just hacked the chrime

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Why are elephants scared of computers? Because of the mouse. I’d make a joke about epilepsy but the computer started flashing

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Yo mama so dumb that when she saw the “log in” page on her computer she went and put a log in it.

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I started a band called 999 megabytes… we still haven’t gotten a gig

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How did the inkjet printer kill himself? He drank cyan-ide.

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Why was Stephen Hawking never trusted when taking a quiz. “No computers allowed on the test”

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One apple a day keeps the doctor away, not logging onto servers using management or service accounts keeps SecOps people away.

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What did Stephen hawkings computer say when he died ?? … ERROR

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